by Mari Carr
His gaze darkened, and she shuddered slightly at the pure dominance written there. He wasn’t holding back, wasn’t hiding his true spirit from her any longer. This was what she’d waited a lifetime for.
Seth, with the mask off.
Seth, willing to give her anything, everything.
“Put your hands on the bed,” he repeated, his tone proving he wouldn’t ask again.
She moved, letting her hands fall, palms up above her shoulders. The pose felt like surrender and for a moment, she wanted to balk, to move them back to his body.
His gaze stopped her. He devoured her, his eyes, his lips, his hands telling her how much he liked what he was seeing. His fingers began to stroke her faster, harder. “Come for me, sunshine. Let me see you explode.” His words provoked the action, and she shuddered, crying out at the intensity as her hands closed into fists, but never left the mattress.
Seth didn’t relent, didn’t allow her surcease, as he continued to thrust harder, faster. She was on the verge of a second orgasm when he quickly pulled out.
“No,” she said, anger permeating her dazed mind when he chuckled.
“I want everything from you,” he warned, his dark, sensual tone sending another ripple of arousal through her.
When his finger returned, it wasn’t to her pussy, but instead he pushed one wet digit into her ass. Her scream would have brought down the roof if he hadn’t captured it with his own mouth, thrusting his tongue against hers as his finger plunged deeper into her ass. Her orgasm hit her like a freight train, and she clung to him as she quivered in the aftermath.
Seth’s kisses didn’t stop, but they grew softer. Soft enough that she managed to regain her scattered wits. She’d wanted a taste. Seth had given her a feast. She’d let things go way too far.
Furious with herself and with him for tempting her so, she turned her head, pulling her lips away from his. “Dammit,” she cried. “You can’t come in here and bully me like this.”
He laughed. “I haven’t even started to bully you yet.”
An image of him tying her up, forcing her to one orgasm after another floated through her mind. “Shit,” she muttered. “Get off of me.” She tried to push him away, but moving her six foot two, nothing but pure muscle cowboy was a bit like trying to shove a skyscraper.
“Not yet. I have a question for you, and I want an answer.”
She pursed her lips and waited, worried about what he might ask.
“Are you a virgin?”
Her heart lurched and she knew hell would freeze over before he got that answer. “None of your damn business.”
He pressed her against the bed, but she refused to be cowed. “You keep saying that, but it is.”
She shook her head. “No, it isn’t. Go away.”
Seth stared at her for a painfully, long minute, but she didn’t budge. Finally, he spoke. “I don’t need you to answer. I know the truth.”
She sucked in a deep breath. She’d been riding a horse since the time she learned to walk. She was fairly certain any definite, hard proof of her virginity was long gone.
A brief glimpse of his earlier anger returned. “Why did you wait?”
She frowned. “What do you mean?”
“If you’re gonna settle for a loveless marriage, why bother saving yourself at all?”
She didn’t have an answer. She’d been a silly girl with more honor than sense. She’d waited because in her heart, Seth had been her future. It was an old-fashioned notion, but she’d clung to it thinking it would prove to Seth she was worthy of him and his love.
“It was a mistake,” she said quietly.
“I see.”
He rose from the bed. She sat up, wrapping the comforter around her waist. The movement wasn’t based on shyness as much as a way to rebuild her defenses. “You won’t tell my dad, will you? About Paul and I not being in love. I really think it would be easier for him if…”
Her words died at the pain flashing in Seth’s eyes. Easy didn’t seem to be an option anymore.
“You gonna tell me why you’re marrying this guy? It doesn’t make any sense.”
She shrugged. “I have a good reason. Honest.”
“But you’re not going to tell me what it is.”
She shook her head. It felt like it was going to explode. She was on the verge of tears, something she didn’t want Seth to see. “Not tonight. Later. I promise.”
“No,” Seth replied. “I won’t tell Thomas. I’ve been keeping your secrets for nearly a decade. I don’t plan to break that tradition now.”
She smiled sadly as her mind drifted over all the confidences she’d shared with Seth through the years. The time she’d broken her mother’s favorite vase, Seth helped her glue it back together. The time she’d put a dent in her dad’s new truck, Seth found a mechanic to pound the ding out. The time she’d snuck out her junior year in high school to go to a party, Seth dragged her home, not betraying her to her father.
He’d been her friend, her protector and now he wanted to be her lover. The thought made her entire body ache. “Thanks.”
Walking toward the door, he opened it and turned to look at her. “This isn’t finished.”
When she was certain he was out of earshot, she whispered, “Yes, it is.”
Then, she gave in to her tears.
Chapter Five
“You planning on pulling your head out of your ass anytime soon, son, or are you just gonna stand around and let my little girl make the biggest mistake of her life?”
Seth looked up as Thomas climbed the stairs to the front porch of his foreman’s cabin early the next morning. Seth placed his cup of coffee on the table next to him. It was his day off and he’d planned to spend it alone, trying to figure out where the hell he was supposed to go from here. Jody was driving him insane. He’d tossed and turned all night, waking up three times to jerk off to the image of her as she came in the tack room and again in her bedroom. She was gorgeous, sexy-as-hell and driving him out of his mind with desires he’d never experienced.
“Excuse me?” he said as Thomas rested against the porch railing, crossing his ankles as well as his arms.
His boss had never given him any indication that he’d welcome Seth approaching Jody romantically. The only words Thomas had issued the past four years had been more along the lines of warnings for Seth to keep his damn hands to himself.
“I believe I made myself clear.”
“What would you have me do, Thomas? Jody’s more headstrong than Hugh Natter’s bull. Trying to get that girl to change her mind on anything is like trying to dig a hole the size of the Grand Canyon with a teaspoon.”
Thomas silently studied him for so long, Seth had to fight the urge not to squirm. “Never pegged you for a quitter. You gonna let that Paul character take your woman?”
Seth narrowed his eyes. “You wanna let me know exactly when Jody became my woman. Last time I glanced her way you threatened to apply the bander you use on the bulls to castrate me. That’s sort of a far cry from calling me son, wouldn’t you say?”
“I wanted Jody to go off to college, to get her degree. She’s a smart girl and leaving this place to continue her education was good for her. You know it, and I know it. She left here a willful, opinionated, inexperienced girl. Now, four years later, she’s come back to us an intelligent, mature woman. I knew you’d be a big obstacle in her way if you decided to pay that girl any attention and I knew it would be a mistake for her to stay here. She needed to see a bit more of the world, meet people who weren’t ranchers, experience a bit of culture.”
Seth nodded, begrudgingly. The time away from home had done wonders for Jody. “You’re right.”
Thomas took his admission with a smugness that made Seth want to roll his eyes. “Now she’s graduated with honors and with a knowledge of Ag Science that makes her the perfect life partner for a rancher.”
“Last time I looked, I was a foreman.”
Thomas uncrossed his arms, rubbing
his chin as he sighed. “That could change pretty damn quick with ring and a few words spoken before a Justice of the Peace.”
Seth was pretty sure throwing a punch at his boss would get his ass canned quick, but he rose anyway, his fists clenched. Thomas’s words were an affront to his morals and an insult to his daughter. “If you think I’d marry Jody to inherit this goddamn ranch, then you don’t know me at all. How dare you haggle with your daughter’s life? I don’t give a fuck who you are, if you think you can sell Jody off—”
Thomas chuckled and put his hands up. “Just checking, Seth. Wanted to make sure your intentions were true.”
Seth tried to hold on to his irritation, but he couldn’t blame Thomas for double-checking. “Had your fun?”
Jody was set to inherit a shit-load of money from her old man one day and there weren’t too many cowboys in the state who didn’t know it. Difference was his family was pretty well off too and he learned a long time ago, money didn’t make you happy.
Thomas’s grin slowly faded. “You gotta stop her, Seth.”
Seth thought of the previous night. Of how she’d come apart in his arms and how she still pushed him away. Jody had pride by the bushel and overcoming the mistakes he’d made in the past as well as asking her to go back on the promise she’d made to Paul was proving tougher than he thought.
“How?” he asked, silently praying Thomas had an answer. God knew he was running out of ideas.
“Be creative.”
Seth shook his head. “Shit. That’s the only advice you have? Be creative? What the fuck does that mean?”
Thomas rubbed his jaw and Seth figured he and his boss were mirror reflections of frustration. “Hell if I know. Only thing I do know is you love her and she loves you. It’s time to make the insanity stop.”
Thomas turned, stepped off the porch and walked away.
Insanity, Seth thought. Yep. He had that in abundance.
It was late afternoon when Seth heard footsteps on his porch. He glanced up to find Jody peering through the screened door.
“Knock knock,” she said, when she spotted him.
“Come on in.” He’d been in the process of making a late lunch. He gestured at the sandwich fixins in front of him. “Hungry? I make a mean ham on rye.”
She shook her head. “No, thanks. I already ate. I wanted to talk to you about tomorrow.”
Her wedding day. He gritted his teeth. “Unless you’re here to tell me you’ve called the wedding off, I don’t want to talk about it.”
She sighed, but wasn’t deterred. “I’m not calling it off, Seth, but—” she hesitated and he wondered what she was going to say. “I wanted to say some things to you beforehand.”
He crossed his arms over his chest, certain he wasn’t going to like what she was about to say. His stance seemed to slow her momentum for a minute and she took a deep breath.
“I appreciate what you said, what you did yesterday morning in the tack room.”
He scowled. “I fucking buried my face in your sweet cunt and set you off like a firecracker and you appreciate it.”
She took a step closer. “Don’t be crude,” she snapped. “That’s not what I’m talking about.”
He cursed under his breath.
“For years, I’ve walked around here feeling like I wasn’t good enough for you. I’ve spent most of my adult life trying to catch your attention and feeling like I was falling short because of some weakness, some inadequacy—”
“God dammit, Jody. I told you. None of that’s true.”
She smiled. “I know that…now. I never understood why you rebuffed me, but now that I do, I get it. You were right to fight this.” She waved her hand between them and it took all the strength in Seth’s body not to grab that hand, pull her toward him and prove to her how wrong she was.
She walked over to his kitchen table and claimed one of the chairs, sinking down heavily. “I can’t be what you want. I can’t give in to your needs without betraying who I am.”
He stepped closer, taking the seat next to her. “I don’t want to change you, Jody. My reasons were right at the time. You were too young, too inexperienced. Time has changed that. You’ve grown up and matured. You’re more than strong enough to handle me now.”
She laughed sadly. “No. I think we both know exactly how inexperienced I still am.”
“I’m not talking about sexual experience. When you were younger, you worked your ass off trying to be the woman you thought I wanted, rather than the woman you were, the woman I adored. You know who you are now. I’m not looking to change that.”
She looked down at her hands and he could see she was considering his words. She raised her gaze to his once more, her face sadder than he’d ever seen it. “I know you don’t want to change it. Problem is I’m not sure you could help it.”
He shook his head, but his cell phone rang, cutting off any reply she might make. He was going to ignore it, but glancing at the caller ID, he saw his father’s number. His brother, Silas, had returned home after receiving some pretty serious injuries during an oil rig explosions in Alaska and he’d asked JD to call him as soon as Silas was settled in back in Wyoming.
“I have to take this,” he said, opening the phone.
She nodded and started to leave, but he grasped her hand with his free one, shaking his head and indicating he wanted her to stay.
He spoke briefly to his father. The conversation was short. It was obvious from JD’s comments his bedridden brother was already bored with the role of invalid. Hearing about Silas’s gruff complaining went a long way toward setting Seth’s mind at ease.
He’d wanted to return home immediately after finding out about Silas’s accident, but his mother had convinced him to give Silas some time to recuperate and adjust to being back home. He’d suspected his mother had been trying to keep him away because it was worse than they were letting on. Talking to JD set those fears to rest. Clearly, there was another reason his mother wanted him to postpone a trip home. When JD mentioned the good care Silas’s best friends, Lucy and Colby, had been giving him, the light bulb went on in Seth’s brain and he grinned. Silas really was home.
“How are you doing?” he asked his dad, concerned by the weariness he detected in his old man’s voice. It couldn’t have been easy on his parents when they’d learned of the accident that nearly killed their oldest son.
“Hanging in there,” JD said. As usual, trying to get his father to talk about himself was impossible.
True to form, JD changed the subject quickly. “Your brothers are setting up one of those video chat things on the computer. Silas said you should check your email for the day and time, make sure it works for you.”
Seth and his brothers had lived apart for nearly a decade. In order to keep in touch, his younger brother Sam had started setting up conference chats for them. Seth looked forward to the chats. He enjoyed seeing his brothers’ faces and hearing their voices. “I’ll be sure to check my email.”
He said his goodbyes and hung up. He looked at Jody as he considered all the near misses in his life lately. He’d almost lost Silas, and now he was in danger of losing her. The idea made him even more determined to win her heart.
Jody looked at him. “Your father?”
He nodded.
“Is Silas okay? He was hurt in Alaska, right?”
When he gave her a surprised look, she explained. “Dad told me about it last week when I called to tell him I was coming home.”
Ordinarily, he would have called to talk to her about it, but since she’d started avoiding his calls after Christmas, he hadn’t bothered dialing her number. He’d missed telling her about the day-to-day stuff. “Apparently he’s bitching about being stuck in bed, so I’d say he’s good. Gotta say getting the call about that explosion—” His words drifted off as he recalled the night JD had called to tell him about Silas.
Jody smiled and when she squeezed his hand, he realized he’d never released it. “I can’t even imagi
ne how scary that must have been. I know how close you and your brothers are.”
He wanted to pull her to him, wrap himself up in her embrace. He hadn’t known how much his brother’s injury had been bothering him until he heard JD’s voice. It would be so easy to fall into her arms, to let her comfort him.
“I miss them. Miss home sometimes.”
“Do you ever think of going back to Wyoming?”
Her question triggered the secret desire he’d been harboring lately. He nodded. “Yeah. I do. When I was young, all I could think about was getting the hell out of Compton Pass on the fastest plane I could find.”
“And now?”
“Now I’m wondering why I ever left.”
If he expected her to be surprised by his comments, he would have been disappointed. “I’ve always been jealous of your stories about growing up.”
He grinned. “Really?”
“I’m an only child and the daughter of the boss. Spent a lot of my childhood alone with my horse. I used to imagine what it would be like to be a part of a big, loving family. To have brothers or sisters to fight with, play with.”
“Most of the time it was a pain in the ass,” he joked, though her comments sent a jolt of homesickness through him.
She laughed. “I don’t believe that for one minute.”
They fell silent and for a moment, Seth was reminded of the way things were before he’d fucked up at Christmas. Then he remembered her wedding tomorrow and a wave of desperation rose.
“Jody,” he started, but she raised her hand, cutting off his reply. It was obvious her thoughts had drifted in the same direction.
“Please, Seth. Please try to understand that I’ve made my decision. I’m marrying Paul because I genuinely believe it’s the best thing for me.”
“I’ll never understand or believe that.”
She released his hand and stood. “Then I guess there’s nothing left to do, but say goodbye.”
He chuckled, the sound turning to a laugh when confusion colored her pretty face. “Ah, sweetheart. That was a nice, but weak attempt. I’m not finished yet. You go ahead and fool yourself into thinking you’re gettin’ hitched. I’m here to tell you it’s never going to happen.”
