Rise of the Retics

by T J Lantz

  “It was a poor decision, Ms. Wolfskin; I hope you understand that.”

  “I do, sir,” she answered regretfully.

  “Dr. Kelda, when the children first arrived at your office how bad was the dog?”

  “She was in critical condition, Lord Laszlo. She could have died at any moment. She had several broken ribs, a dislocated jaw, a concussion, and extreme internal bleeding. I was forced to do immediate surgery.”

  Rigby barked a loud thank you.

  “I see you did impeccable work, as always, Doctor.”

  Kelda nodded her thanks. “Even with my best work, I regret that I could not restore sight to her left eye.”

  “A regrettable occurrence, indeed. Kelda, it says next that you instructed the three students to sit outside and wait for you to finish surgery so that you could accompany them back to school. Is that correct?”

  “Yes, Lord Laszlo. It is. They chose to ignore me. Scared me half to death when I went outside to get them and they were missing.”

  “Thank you, Dr. Kelda. Girls, after you left, it states that you returned to the scene of the attack and picked up a trail. This trail led to an abandoned mine shaft. It was at this point that Ms. Bushytail decided that heroics were necessary and proclaimed that she would lead a rescue attempt. Ms. Tallhat, in disagreement, left to get Sheriff Quicktrigger. Well Ms. Tallhat, that sounds like the first wise move any of the three of you had that entire night.”

  The girls all nodded their heads, accepting the judgment.

  “So, at that point, the two remaining girls went into the mine, believing their friend was being held there by a group of murderous kidnappers.” Lord Laszlo stopped and stared at them, waiting for some kind of new clarity, but none came.

  “It was at this point that they found Mr. Miniheart laying on the ground with his kidnapper over him, severing his tail. As the assailant went for a killing strike, Ms. Bushytail interceded?”

  “She saved my life!” Jaxon exclaimed excitedly. He had been quiet for so long, it looked like words wanted to boil over and stream out of his mouth.

  “So it seems, Mr. Miniheart. While Ms. Bushytail engaged in a duel with all three assailants, Ms. Wolfskin managed to free you?

  “Yeah, she was a mouse and chewed right through my ropes.”

  “It was at that time that Ms. Bushytail took a thrown knife into her shoulder?”

  “Yes, my lord,” Jaxon blurted out. “Mirabella has excellent aim.

  Giuseppe gave him a dirty look for using his granddaughter’s name.

  “And in order to ensure her friend’s safety, Ms. Wolfskin entered the fray, engaging both dwarves at one time?”

  “She turned into a huge white bear!”

  “So it says. Had Coach Yogee instructed you on this manner of transformation, young lady?

  “No, sir. I did the best I could with the knowledge I had. I used an image in my head from a story I learned long ago.”

  “Are you aware of the extreme danger that such a shift might entail?”

  “Yes, sir.”

  “And yet you did it anyway. Why?”

  “My friends would have died if I didn’t, sir.”

  “I understand. Now Jaxon, it says here you disposed the final attacker by nullifying her wings?”

  “If nullify means burned em’ off, then yes. I used my mind to wrap her in the flame from the torch.”

  The crowd began to whisper and murmur.

  “It seems that the facts we have are not in dispute then, so it only leaves the extent of your punishment to discuss. It is clear that each of you broke rules knowingly. Unfortunately, the punishment for leaving Thales after curfew, without permission, is expul—“

  “I HAVE RETURNED!” interrupted a loud booming voice as the chamber door flew open.

  All heads turned to the entrance as several retics entered. They all looked and smelled rancid, like they had gone weeks without bathing.

  “Admiral Brownstache!” Laszlo snapped, “That is not how a citizen of Rosehaven speaks to this council. Control yourself.”

  “My apologies, my lord” said the elf, bowing deeply. Unlike his crew, he was dressed impeccably in dark colored silks and leather shoes that looked brand new. As always, his moustache was perfectly groomed. Stella and Cletus had given it extra care today in honor of the big news.

  “I come bearing news that cannot wait.”

  “What is so important that it cannot wait a few minutes?”

  “My lord, we have discovered, upon intense interrogation of a ranking Coalition officer, that the humans do in fact have a way of tracking retics.”

  The crowd let out a collective gasp at Brownstache’s news. Everyone began wildly whispering their questions and concerns to each other

  Lord Laszlo slammed his gavel down. BANG!

  “I will have silence!”

  The crowd died down.

  “You may continue, Admiral.”

  “From what we were able to ascertain, they have a young boy who can sense retics at a great distance. We were not able to find out if they have already discovered our location, but if not yet, then it could be any day. If it is just a boy with these abilities, then we can assume that his powers will grow as he does.”

  “This is very troubling news. I fear that I must admit this council had discussed the possibility of just such a thing when the Coalition first stepped up their efforts to capture retics. What you report now confirms my worst fears.”

  “I do have some better news though, sir. We also found out that Sir Reginald Branchworth did not perish as we first believed. He had been seen alive and incarcerated several days after he was attacked.”

  The crowd murmured loudly. Tyranna’s heart nearly skipped a beat. Branchy might still be alive! Her elation almost made her forget that they were all about to be expelled.

  Laszlo waited for quiet, his face showing deep contemplation.

  “Well, fellow council members, this does change things a bit. With the new threat of war I’m sure we can all agree that the defense of Rosehaven is paramount to all else. As such, as Lord Protector of Rosehaven, I am asserting my right to rule personally in this matter.”

  All the council members snapped their heads toward Laszlo, even ambassador Mhucas, who had woken up when Brownstache came pouring in. It seemed that making decisions without input was not something he did often.

  “Upon hearing this news, I’ve decided to remove any penalty for former infractions committed by these young citizens.” He looked straight at Jaxon as he continued. “You’ll report back to Thales immediately and continue your training. It seems to be that we might need your talents sooner than I anticipated. Despite our best efforts to remain hidden, war is coming to Rosehaven.

  Want More Rosehaven? Check out these fine stories:

  Return of the Fae-blood (Rosehaven Book 2)

  Gnit-Wit Gnipper and the Perilous Plague

  Gnit-Wit Gnipper and the Ferocious Fire-Ants

  Sir Dudley Tinklebutton and the Dragon’s Lair

  See them all here: Rosehaven Books

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  * * *

  [1] The cyclops community, as a whole, tended to have a terrible aversion to water. Some of them have been known to go their entire lives without a single bath. Strangely enough, this was only the fourth most popular reason why the other creatures of Rosehaven went out of their way to avoid contact with the one-eyed beings.

  [2] The Scarlett Day Inn was a seedy establishment known for strong liquor and high stakes gambling.

  [3] Experts disagree on this comment. Some believe that, in fact, a kumquat might actually be more interesting than a pouncing animal of any sort. However, those experts did not have the benefit of a canine leaping toward their body when they made that assertion, so their opinion may contain a not-fearing-for-my-life-at-the-moment bias.


  [4] Dr. Kelda Pearlhorn, Rosehaven’s resident medical and veterinary expert, estimated that Rigby’s skull was actually three times the thickness of an average canine of her size.

  [5] Goblins are a notable exception to this rule. They are an exceptionally foul mouthed people that pride themselves on their ability to shock, nauseate, and infuriate with nothing more than words.

  [6] Having once put a skunk in a box and given it as a present, Jaxon can attest to how fast a person will, in fact, drop it.

  [7] Tree-ents didn’t count their lives in years, but in rings, a reference to the marks one would find inside a tree-ent were someone dumb enough to try to cut one open.

  [8] The heartwood is the innermost core of a Tree-Ent’s body. Many Tree-Ents strongly believe it is where their soul resides.

  [9] The punishment may have had something to do with the fact that Jaxon had covered the library floor with a super adhesive he had stolen from a particularly careless gnome.

  [10] Florensians were also known in less formal speech as squirrel-kin. While most were fine with this moniker, some took it as offensive.

  [11] The term “unicorn droppings” had been used by dwarves for hundreds of years for situations that look better than they actually are. The sheriff had learned it from his mother, who often claimed it was her favorite saying involving excrement.

  [12] A dragon-mark was the basic unit of currency on Rosehaven. It was a small copper coin with the lord protector’s image on one side and the outstretched form of a dragon, which gave it its name, on the other.

  [13] Legend, in this case, was quite wrong.

  [14] Tree-ents didn’t actually breathe, but Tyranna couldn’t have known that.

  [15] Some historians believe the modern self-defense style, krav maga, is based upon Sir William’s fighting style.

  [16] The arena was named both after its designer, famed dwarf architect Floyd Wrong (936 A.D. – 1047 A.D.). and because it was where capital punishments occurred, hence arriving in the arena often meant your life had gone the “wrong way.”

  [17] The children at the monastery had been forced to give themselves last names, as none of them had come to Lipkos with one already. To accomplish this, they used distinguishing characteristics. Tyranna, known for always wearing her wolf skin cloak, got off easy. Robert Bed Wetter, a large boy with a small bladder, did not.

  [18] This was especially true in the elven community. In fact, prior to relocating to Rosehaven, a civil war had been fought over that very same issue.

  [19] Magic was impossible in certain species and very uncommon in others. Most often magical ability was the result of the intermingling with humans. Even the best gnomish geneticists couldn’t explain why that was, though they would never admit that to anyone.

  [20] Bowing deeply, so that your horns were pointed at your target, was considered a challenge in the satyr community. It was the equivalent of screaming “I’ll kill you!”

  [21] Goblin childhood was very difficult. Due to the fact that births were often in large litters and there were rarely enough supplies to support their population, it became a celebrated custom for goblin parents to withhold naming their child until he or she had murdered the other members of the litter. While their upbringing may have put them in the running for world’s worst sibling, it did turn them into fantastic assassins.

  [22] A story of its own, the favorite team known as the Ebony Slippers had some shady dealings before they lost. An inquiry has recently been launched.

  [23] It may have been a sauté pan and not a frying pan, as Jaxon had very little knowledge of cooking materials and kitchen paraphernalia in general.

  [24] Being a tropical island, “cold” in Rosehaven was a very relative term. Jaxon’s body just had a natural affinity towards “hot”, so a cool breeze tended to give him a chill.

  [25] There was no direct translation for the Faenician word “wincit,” but any synonyms would not have been appropriate for family gatherings.

  [26] This was one of Stella’s favorite sayings. Despite the fact that it was extremely speciesist, it was in fact a true statement. Goblins did tend to kill off their brothers and sisters at a very young age.

  [27] Brownie religion dictated that the creator of the world was an omnipotent and immortal matriarchal brownie that lived in the center of the Earth. It was widely believed among the most devout believers that other species were created with the express purpose of providing brownies with homes and entertainment.

  [28] It wouldn’t. Dwarves were known for their unemotional nature. Their ale was designed to heighten a person’s senses and emotions, making every sensation even more intense, including pain. Like any alcohol, it also reduced the imbibers inhibitions, and Stella hoped that it might also help loosen Claritt’s lips a bit.

  [29] Jaxon called it training. Sam called it running for her life while the big dog tried to eat her tail.

  [30] Merlin, of Arthurian legend, was in fact a powerful dwarven magician. To many dwarves he is still considered a folk hero, and every October they even celebrate Merlin’s Day, a festival centered around drinking, feasting, and fireworks.