by Croix, J. H.
***
The whole way home, Susie’s mind ran laps on its hamster wheel. By the time she got home, she’d convinced herself she would simply tell Jared the whole thing had been a mistake and surely they could move past this whole ‘can’t keep our hands off each other’ thing if they agreed not to let anything else happen. After the first time they kissed, back when she’d taken him home after he and his brothers were airlifted off their flooded boat, they’d managed to tamp things down no problem. They could do that again. Now they knew they just needed to make sure not to touch each other. The touching was the big problem.
Jared parked behind her car and followed her inside. He’d been to her house a number of times when she had small parties with friends. Jasmine twined around their ankles before racing outside. Susie looked around and wished she’d known Jared would be here. She left things a tad messier than she’d have liked him to see. A haphazard stack of books sat on her coffee table. Her robe was thrown over the stair railing.
Jared immediately walked to her front windows. He stood with his hands tucked in his jeans silently looking out. Susie set her purse on the counter. Her stomach was knotted with tension. Jared’s voice startled her.
“The view’s different everywhere. You get a better look at Augustine than me.”
“Oh. Right. We’re a little higher up here,” Susie replied, walking to his side.
Silence fell again. She snuck a look at Jared. He instantly glanced her way and locked eyes with her. He oozed unconscious, confident masculinity. Her temperature rose just standing beside him. Don’t touch him. It’s the touching that’s your problem. Remember you’re not doing this again. It’s crazy, he makes you crazy, and…
Her internal lecture ran out of steam. The problem was her mind didn’t seem to be in charge when Jared was nearby. She forced her eyes away from his by sheer willpower and took a few steps back.
“Do you want anything to drink?” she asked.
Jared shook his head. She could feel his eyes tracking her as she walked to the kitchen. Heat spiraled inside and dammit if her heart didn’t start racing. She had to get this under control. And he wanted to talk. She blurted out. “So I’ve been thinking about this. All we have to do is stop. We can do that.”
His eyes widened. He walked slowly toward her, coming to a stop by the small island in the kitchen and leaning against it. She poured a glass of water for herself and completely failed at getting her heart to slow down. When she turned around, she ran smack into his heated gaze. All this silence from him was getting to her.
“Well?” she asked sharply. She took a sip of water and set the glass on the counter.
“So you think all we have to do is stop?”
She nodded vigorously. “It’s quite simple.”
Those green eyes searched her face. She flushed under his scrutiny.
“So you mind filling me in on why you didn’t bother to tell me you were a virgin?”
His blunt question threw her. Much as she wanted to look away, she didn’t. “I already told you. It was kind of an accident.” She paused and tried to gather herself. Her face was heated and her pulse racing. His nearness made it hard to think.
“An accident?”
“It wasn’t like I was saving myself or anything. It just so happened I was still a virgin because…” she paused, trying to figure out how to explain without prompting more questions. She couldn’t say what the truth was. That she’d probably have lost her virginity a few years back had she not been almost date raped, which altered her basic sense of herself and set her on a path to avoid intimacy. If she couldn’t trust her instincts, she couldn’t trust enough to let anyone get too close. This train of thought startled her because she realized she trusted Jared. Completely. She’d been so busy convincing herself she couldn’t help herself when it came to him because of her highly inconvenient attraction to him. But…she knew perfectly well she’d have never let it go anywhere if she didn’t trust him. Susie, what the hell have you gotten yourself into?
“Were you planning to finish that sentence anytime soon, or is this some game where I’m supposed to fill in the blanks?”
Susie swung her eyes back up from the floor, which had become remarkably interesting. “Uh, no. Like I said before. It just hadn’t happened yet. That’s all,” she finally said.
Jared nodded slowly. He looked away for a moment and turned back to her. “Okay. It would have been nice to know ahead of time. Especially since you’re all about how we can just pretend like nothing ever happened.”
“I didn’t say that!” Irritation rose inside. She clung to it. The prickle of the feeling anchored her.
“Maybe you didn’t say that precisely, but you said all we have to do is stop.” He snapped his fingers. “Like that.” He eyed her speculatively for a long moment. She shifted on her feet and fought the urge to move away.
“I’ll take your explanation by the way, but I’m no dummy. There’s more to the story.”
Now she was seriously getting pissed. “Are you implying I’m not telling you the truth?” she asked indignantly.
“I think you’re being vague and leaving a lot of information out. I don’t want to get stuck on it, but it’s not exactly fair to suggest a one-night stand and neglect to mention you’re a virgin. I’m no angel, but I don’t run around having one-night stands with virgins.”
Anger flashed through her. She was furious, in part because he had a point. And she hated it. She glared at him. “You’re turning this into something it wasn’t. I’m not some simpering idiot who was saving myself. Get over it.”
Jared pushed away from the counter. “I didn’t imply you were a simpering idiot. For what it’s worth, I believe the gist of what you’re saying. I just think there’s more to the story. Could we drop it for now?”
Susie’s temper notched higher. It infuriated her that he had to go and point out she was being vague while he seemed all calm and collected. Meanwhile, she could hardly stand her body’s betrayal. Her hands itched to feel him again. Desire buzzed through her, a soft hum running through her veins.
Before she knew it, she’d walked right up to him, hands on hips. “You don’t get to decide when we start and stop a conversation,” she declared.
He finally started to look annoyed, which pleased her immensely. “You wanted to talk, so we’re talking,” she continued.
Jared pushed away from the counter, eyes pinned to hers. “I didn’t decide we were ending the conversation. I asked. Big difference,” he said pointedly.
Oh did he know how to spark her anger! He just had to go and be reasonable. Even when he was annoyed, he managed to stay calm, which made her want to shake him. He stood inches from her now. She felt the heat from his body and an answering call from hers. Her breath became shallow. Looking up, she was mesmerized by his green gaze. He didn’t look away as he took a step closer to her. He spoke with deliberation. “Just so we’re clear, I don’t want to stop.” Then he kissed her. And she forgot everything else.
Chapter 10
Jared didn’t hesitate, he tugged Susie against him and poured his frustration into their kiss. All afternoon, she’d alternated between being angry one minute, and vulnerable and guarded the next. He’d done his damnedest to keep his own temper in check. His brain was clear out of thoughts when it came to Susie. He simply repeated the same train of thought. She made him crazy in more ways than one. He had tons of reasons why he didn’t want a relationship with anyone, much less Susie. But damn if he didn’t want her like he’d never wanted anyone in his life. The fact that she’d been a virgin burrowed into his brain and perhaps his heart. All he knew was he was strangely pleased she hadn’t been with anyone else, and he couldn’t stand the idea that she might move on to someone else now. That didn’t work for him.
Out of options, he kissed her. The anger and irritation she so easily elicited burned out in the fire of lust he felt for her. Desire swirled around them. He slid his hands down to cup her bottom. He
groaned at the feel of her soft, lush curves. She slipped her hands under his t-shirt, coasting them up his chest. He tore his lips from hers, blazing a trail down her neck. All afternoon, he’d had to force his eyes up and away from her breasts. She wore a soft cotton shirt that hugged her body, but then everything she wore seemed to accent her curves. He got lost just looking at her. And now, finally being able to feel her…he had to force himself to keep control.
Susie didn’t help one bit. He smiled against her skin when she swore and tugged at his t-shirt. He stepped away and tossed it off. Her eyes were dark and her lips swollen. He lifted his hand and traced down the side of her body, caressing the curve of her breast, the soft dip at her waist and the roundness of her hips. Her breath hitched, and his pulse ricocheted. He hooked his finger under the edge of her shirt and slowly lifted it. She lifted her arms as he raised the shirt up and over her head. It fell to the floor.
She stood in front of him, so close he could see the fluttering pulse in her neck. Her black lacy bra barely held in her breasts. Her nipples were taut. He trailed a finger up her abdomen and traced the curves of her breasts. His heart hammered in his chest, his vision blurred, and his cock hardened even more. He loved her penchant for front-clasp bras and slipped his finger under the tiny clasp between her breasts. With a flick, it came undone, the black lace fell away, and her full breasts fell out. Undone, Jared yanked her against him, his mouth melding to hers.
As he’d discovered already, her fiery temperament was intoxicating in combination with the inferno that encompassed him the second he touched her. He started slowly walking backwards, bringing her with him. Her lush curves felt so good, he could barely breathe. Somehow, he got them to the couch. She was twined so closely against him, his knees collapsed. He thudded onto the couch, a lapful of Susie coming with him. Her moist heat pressed against his cock. He tried to rein himself in, but it was damn near impossible surrounded in the sensation of her.
Her breasts caressed his chest. He broke away from her lips and pushed her back slightly. He paused to take in the sight of her. She straddled him. Her bra had fallen on the walk to the couch. Her breasts were heavy and full, her nipples pert and begging for his mouth. Her hair was a riot of brown curls tumbling every which way. Her lips were parted, her breath shallow, and her eyes dark and wild. She wore a soft twirly skirt—something she did often and he loved it—and it pooled around her hips. He ran his palms up her thighs, savoring the feel of her silky skin. She had random freckles scattered on her body, a sweet surprise he’d discovered.
His thumbs met at the juncture of her thighs where she wore something that could barely be described as panties—a mere scrap of black lace. He held her eyes as he slipped a finger under the edge of the lace and softly traced around her clit. Her breath hitched. His cock throbbed. He forced himself not to rush. He traced circles in her wet, slick heat before finally sliding a finger inside her channel. Her head fell back on a gasp. He finally gave in and leaned forward to lave a nipple, sucking it into his mouth and softly biting.
“Jared…”
“Mmmhmm?”
“Please…”
“Please what?”
He felt her irritation flare and damn if that didn’t turn him on even more, though how that was possible, he didn’t know. He slid another finger inside her and started slowly drawing them in and out, turning his attention to her other nipple as he did. Susie whimpered and ground her hips against his hand. Suddenly, she shifted and tore at his jeans. In seconds, she freed his cock. She stroked it slowly in her palm. When he groaned, she spoke softly. “It’s only fair…”
Jared lifted his hips and shoved his jeans down, kicking them off his ankles. Susie was small enough, he managed this easily with her on his lap. He leaned over to fumble in his jeans pocket for a condom when she spoke softly. “I’m on the pill.”
He met her eyes, her cheeks flushed. She shrugged. “It just seems silly if you don’t need a condom.”
With any other woman, he would have hesitated. But this was Susie and for reasons he couldn’t quite contemplate, removing another layer between them was so tempting, it was all he wanted. He nodded. She settled on his lap again. His control leashed with the barest thread, he pushed the thin scrap of lace out of the way, sliding against her slick heat. A soft sigh fell from her lips when her head fell back. She slid back and forth against his cock.
He curled his hands around her hips, lifted them and positioned her over the tip of his cock. She shifted restlessly in his grip, but he held firm, bringing her down in increments. She flinched—just barely—and he registered she must be sore. He kept his hips still and allowed her to sink onto him. Sheathed in her slick warmth, he forced himself to wait, to allow her to adjust to him. Tenderness arced through him. For a blinding moment, he realized how this felt for her was far more important than how it felt for him. For her to remain a virgin as long as she did, accidental or not, he simply wanted every experience she had with him to be amazing.
When she finally sank fully on him, he couldn’t hold back a groan. His cock throbbed inside of her, desperate to shift and thrust in her heat. She sighed again, and he slid a hand up her back, savoring the feel of her skin every inch of the way, and threaded his hand in her curls. He tilted her head toward his and brought their lips together.
“Is that okay?” he asked, his voice raspy.
“Mmmhmm.”
Jared shifted subtly, altering the angle of his hips to push more deeply inside of her. A soft hum came from her throat. Her lips smiled against his. Her hips began to lift and fall. He couldn’t help but smile in return as he shifted again, beginning to move in soft slow strokes, attenuating his motion to hers.
Her head fell back again as she began to move more vigorously. He gloried in the sight of her. Her skin dewy in the late afternoon light, her curls tumbling as she moved against him. The feel of her tight sheath pulsing around him brought him to the edge of his control. He tried to slow her pace, but she ignored him and rode him with the same passion that she approached everything—wild and fiery. She called his name when she began to climax, pulling him with her. He surged deeply into her, his release rushing through his entire body, her name a shouted prayer. She fell against him, a bundle of lush curves completely relaxing in his lap. He slid both arms around her and held her close, hanging on as he caught his breath.
As his pulse finally began to slow and conscious thought returned, Jared decided he didn’t give a damn whether this was convenient or messy. He didn’t know where this would lead, but he was done trying to talk himself out of being with her. This was too good, too amazing, too…everything.
Several long moments later, Susie finally stirred in his lap. She leaned back and tilted her head. With her mussed hair, swollen lips and dark brown eyes sated with pleasure, she took his breath away. When she began to look like she was thinking, he decided to head her off at the pass.
“Let’s just get one thing straight. I have no intention of trying to keep my hands off of you anymore,” he said bluntly.
Susie’s mouth fell open, but she quickly closed it. Her eyes narrowed as she studied him. He trailed a hand around her side and under her breasts. He couldn’t resist touching her, not when she sat almost bare in his lap. Her breath caught and then she giggled. A blush stained her cheeks. “I guess we’d be putting a lot of energy into something that seems like it’s a waste of time—the keeping our hands off of each other, that is. This is more fun,” she said with a grin. She wiggled her hips and dragged her hand across his chest, her soft touch lighting fires in its wake.
He hadn’t realized he’d been almost holding his breath while he waited to see how she responded. He chuckled. “Definitely more fun…” he paused when he heard a faint scratching sound. “What’s that?”
“Jasmine wants to come in. I should get up.”
Vulnerability flashed through her eyes quickly. She cleared her throat. “So I’ll be getting up now,” she said, glancing down at his hand
s, one curled on her hips, the other cupping a breast.
Jared slowly shifted and guided her hips up and off of his cock, immediately missing her moist warmth and realizing he could easily go another round right now. He had to remind himself she’d been a virgin a few short days ago.
Susie stood and tugged her skirt into place before walking over to the door to let Jasmine in. She didn’t bother picking up her clothes. She turned to him. “Shower?”
***
A few days later, Susie sat in the living room at Tess and Nathan’s house trying to get up the courage to talk to Tess about Jared. She’d ruled out talking to Hannah or Emma. Emma had enough on her plate, and Hannah was wrapped up in that. Tess was just as worried as the rest of them, but she had a little more distance from the situation. Plus, Susie wasn’t quite ready to admit to Hannah she might have had a point about Jared. Jared, Nathan and Luke were out all day on a fishing trip, so Susie knew she’d have a chance to talk without interruption. She desperately needed someone’s perspective outside of her own. Jared had spent the last few nights with her. She floated along in a wash of sensation when she was with him. When they were apart, she felt as if she was spiraling out of control. She wanted the impossible—to have a chance at a real relationship with Jared—knowing she shouldn’t even go there because Jared had made it abundantly clear for years that he had no interest in such a thing. On the heels of those thoughts, she beat herself up for letting her physical attraction to him get out of hand.
Tess came over to the couch with two cups of coffee in hand and set them on the coffee table. She plunked down on the couch by Susie, tucking her feet under her and tugging a pillow on her lap. “Okay, spill it,” Tess said.
“Huh?” Susie asked, knowing full well Tess had picked up on her tension.
Tess rolled her eyes and picked up her coffee. Her honey gold curls caught the sun coming through the windows. “I may not know the details yet, but you’ll tell me. You’re so tense, you’re practically vibrating. I’m sure you’re worried about Emma, but we all are. That’s kind of a constant right now. But you have something else on your radar. So spill it.”
