Once in a Lifetime

by Jade Falconer

  "Such a perfect little whore,” groaned Alastair. “You're going to beg for it. Convince me you're good enough for me to fuck."

  Percy knew this was the price Alastair would demand. Though he'd silenced him the first time, Alastair seemed to revel in humiliating him now. “Please, Alastair. I need you. I need your cock. Please. I feel so empty without you."

  Alastair regarded him coolly. “I don't know if you're desperate enough. I would have thought you'd already have taken off your clothes."

  Percy didn't hesitate. He stepped back and started stripping quickly. His neck cloth, jacket, and shirt were draped over a chair in a moment, then his boots and his trousers until he was standing there hard and revealed in his stocking feet. “Please. Shall I beg on my knees for you?” he asked.

  Alastair nodded. “Yes. Do it. Worship the cock you need so badly."

  Percy sank to his knees in front of Alastair, and eager fingers worked at his trousers. He pulled him out lovingly and started sucking him without hesitation, lapping and licking. He wanted to prove himself. He wanted things to be like they were before the break. That lovely night in Alastair's bed.

  Alastair buried one hand in Percy's hair, breathing faster.

  Percy put all that he had into it. He did everything he could think of to please Alastair. He swallowed around him until his nose pressed against Alastair's body, then pulled back until he nearly slipped out of his mouth between wet lips.

  Finally, with a snarl Alastair pulled Percy off him. “Over the desk,” he panted, yanking savagely on the young man's hair.

  Percy yelped at the throbbing pain in his scalp. He climbed to his feet quickly and bent over the desk, his cheek pressing against the blotter. He spread his legs apart without being asked to do so. “Need you,” he panted.

  "You're going to get what you need,” promised Alastair, as he grabbed a bottle of oil. He didn't even warn him after he slicked himself, just positioned himself and thrust in.

  Percy moaned loudly as he was penetrated so quickly and completely. It had been over a fortnight since he's last had sex, and Alastair's cock felt like it was splitting him open all over again, just like the first time.

  Alastair barely grunted as he started to pound into Percy, using his body brutally. Each thrust slammed the slim boy against the desk, and the older man's hands gripped Percy's hips bruisingly tight.

  It was brutal, and beautiful. He gripped onto the desk, feeling his body being knocked against the smooth wood. He didn't hold anything back. He sobbed out, squeezing his eyes shut.

  Alastair's head fell back as he drove in and out of the younger man. He moaned softly, barely giving away his feelings.

  Percy needed this. He loved it rough, though he usually preferred for Alastair to lose control. His slim body trembled with every thrust, and he craved release. He was afraid to ask, though, thinking he might actually be denied. So he held on, even knowing he couldn't hold it back forever.

  Alastair was slowly losing control, though so far it only showed in his increasing moans and savage grip on Percy. He threaded one hand into Percy's hair and yanked back on it, pulling the younger man up against his body.

  Percy sucked in a sharp breath. More than any other position, this made him feel the most helpless. Pitched just far enough forward so he had no balance, too far back to brace his hands on the desk. He was held suspended by Alastair's body behind him, inside him, and the tight, painful grip in his hair. He let out a plaintive whimper.

  "Is this what you wanted, boy?” snarled Alastair in his ear. “To be used like the whore you are?” He continued to slam into Percy as he held him.

  "Yes,” he sobbed. “I wanted you. I wanted this.” Really he wanted whatever Alastair cared to give. And more, so much more. He shook from the strain of holding onto his climax, and from the pounding of Alastair's hips against him.

  As if Percy's admission had released something, Alastair moaned and wrapped his hand around Percy's cock. He stroked fast, still thrusting, and said. “Let go, my Percy..."

  Percy cried out and came so hard he felt light headed. His legs trembled, and if he wasn't being held up they might have folded beneath him. Alastair held Percy securely, though he was climaxing almost simultaneously. He gasped Percy's name over and over.

  Percy felt the aftershocks shudder through him as he went limp in Alastair's embrace. He held himself up on unsteady arms, still gulping air, lungs heaving slightly. His mouth was dry, and all he wanted to do was lie down. Alastair petted Percy's hair softly, his breathing the only sound he made for long moments.

  As Percy gradually got some semblance of breath back into his lungs, he sank down to his elbows on the desk. “I do believe were that anyone but you, I would think you were genuinely trying to do damage to me,” he whispered.

  Alastair cleared his throat before he could speak. “You seem well equipped to take it,” he rasped, pulling out and stepping back.

  Percy drew a trembling breath and pushed himself upright with effort. He turned to face him, leaning heavily back against the desk. “My life would be far more comfortable if you would put a bed in this office,” he said, his lips twitching slightly. He thought about making a joke about writing his father to make an endowment to the school for that purpose, but he thought the reference might cause more trouble than it was worth.

  Alastair just looked at him for a long moment, then moved forward quickly, capturing Percy's mouth in a searing kiss. Percy tensed for a moment, surprised by the sudden move. Then he relaxed and parted his lips, melting against Alastair. He arms reached around the other man's neck and he clung to him as if they hadn't just had bone-jarring sex over his desk, as if they were sweet and tender lovers.

  Alastair kissed Percy thoroughly, hands roaming over damp bare flesh, until he pulled back looking flushed. “Am I making you late for something?” he murmured, uncharacteristically subdued.

  Percy could still feel Alastair on his lips. “No,” he said. “Just dinner. But I'm not hungry.” He wanted to stay. He didn't know where things stood, if Alastair was still upset with him, though he no longer seemed so.

  Alastair held Percy tightly for a few long moments and sighed. “You should go eat."

  Percy pouted. “Are you kicking me out, then?” he asked. “Are you still cross with me?” His voice sounded childish to his own ears, but he wanted thing to be less antagonistic.

  Alastair frowned. “This is hardly the time or place for this discussion,” he said mildly.

  Percy frowned. “Fine. Pardon my inappropriate behavior,” he said. He slipped around him and started to dress once again. Not the place or time, indeed, he thought with some irritation. He stopped himself from muttering, but only just.

  Suddenly Alastair was behind him again, pulling him against his body. “I'm sorry,” he said quietly. “It's not as if I can invite you to tea."

  Percy leaned back against him. It felt lovely. “I only want to know that I've been forgiven,” he whispered. “And that you want to see me again."

  "I would think the answer to that was rather obvious."

  "There's precious little about you that's obvious, actually.” He glanced over his shoulder at the other man. “While I can appreciate that you clearly enjoy sex, I can't be sure that you enjoy anything beyond that since you are, with one exception, quick to send me on my way.” He knew he should quit while he was ahead. He was cognizant of the fact that the apology had cost the proud teacher dearly. But Percy couldn't help wanting more. He could so easily fall for Alastair. He'd already begun to feel guilt over the fumbling gentle experimentation he'd enjoyed with John. He didn't enjoy guilt. Perhaps he meant to force Alastair to admit that it was only sex so that he could proceed without the onerous emotion. But that wasn't truly what he wanted, either.

  Alastair stiffened and stepped back quickly, face freezing into its normal neutrality. “Well. Perhaps this was as ill-advised as I had tried to tell myself."

  Percy turned to face him as he buttoned his shirt
. “You have to know I would never put you in jeopardy,” he said. Alastair's tone distressed him. “Surely you can't be surprised at my impertinence,” he offered, trying to make light of the situation. He looked into Alastair's eyes, taking a step towards him again. “I shall go and leave you in peace, and be back as soon as I can do so.” He slid his arms around his neck and kissed him, just barely touching lips to lips.

  Alastair didn't move, didn't kiss back, and didn't embrace Percy. His eyes closed, though, and he breathed deeply.

  Percy sighed. It felt like the proverbial one step forward two steps back, and he took a literal step back. “Good evening, Professor,” he whispered. He had no intention of giving up, regardless of how much Alastair appeared to want him to.

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  Chapter Twelve

  The visit to Alastair's office weighed heavily on Percy's mind over the next two days. When he could no longer stand the uncertainty, he decided to pay a call. He stole away from the dormitory well after curfew and took a circuitous route around to Alastair's quarters so that he wouldn't be seen. He tapped lightly on the door, pulling his fine woolen cloak tightly around his body.

  The door opened abruptly and Alastair stood there, looking furious. He didn't speak, just glanced around then yanked Percy inside, slamming the door behind him. Then he growled, “What the bloody hell do you think you're doing?"

  Percy looked at Alastair wide-eyed. “I wanted to see you. I thought you wanted me to seek you out. I swear no one saw me,” he said breathlessly.

  "How can you be absolutely certain?” demanded Alastair.

  "I went around the outside of the campus. There was no one around at all.” He was starting to think it had been a mistake to come.

  Alastair just stared at him for a long moment. “You shouldn't have taken the chance,” he said before turning away.

  Percy stared at his back for a long moment. “Well, I have now,” he said. “Can't be undone.” He meant to move closer, but his feet seemed frozen in place.

  Alastair kept his back to Percy. “This was a mistake,” he ground out.

  Percy swallowed hard. “Are you saying my coming here was a mistake?” he asked weakly. His stomach twisted in an uncomfortable knot. “I'm sorry. I just thought you wouldn't mind."

  "Impulsiveness,” the older man said softly, “will get you in trouble one of these days, Percy."

  "I'll go then. I won't try to sneak back here if you don't want me to. I'll just come to your office from now on.” He felt something not unlike fear and he backed away. “I'm sorry."

  "Perhaps...” Alastair paused, then went on. “Perhaps that's not a good idea, either."

  The words felt quite like icy fingers closing around his heart, squeezing all the warmth from him. “I see,” he heard himself say. “So you don't want to see me again, then. Is that what you're saying?” he asked, swallowing painfully.

  "That's not exactly what I'm saying, no,” Alastair said, but he still didn't turn.

  "You just don't want to see me here or there. Where exactly do you expect to see me, then? Oh well, I suppose you can look your fill in class, but that's hardly the same thing, is it?” He was hysterical and he wasn't sure why.

  Alastair finally turned to look at Percy. “I'm sure you have better things to do than humor your old professor,” he said bitterly.

  Percy felt stricken. “Oh, right. Because I humor people all the time by sucking their cocks and begging them to fuck me,” he said tightly. “Very well, then. You've made yourself clear enough. Good night. Professor.” He spun on his heel and headed out the door as quickly as he could.

  He headed out the same way he'd come, around the grounds of the school proper, sticking to local streets where he was less likely to be noticed. When he got back to the dormitory, he flung himself on his narrow bed and hugged his pillow tightly. He had never been spoken to like that. He had never been insulted in such a cruel, unfeeling way. But it was more than insult. He wanted to scream and rail at the other man. He wanted to beat at Alastair's chest and demand an explanation. But he could do none of those things.

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  Chapter Thirteen

  The following day he didn't have mathematical theory class, and he was glad of it. He did, however, have a history class with John. When he saw the other boy, he took the seat next to him. Before the professor began to speak, he leaned close to John. “Might I speak to you after class?��� he whispered.

  John looked surprised. “Of course. I have a free period.” He regarded Percy. “You look terrible. Are you ill?"

  "I'll tell you about it after,” he said quietly. The class commenced, and he made no further effort to distract his friend.

  When they were released, Percy followed John back to his room. Once the door was finally closed, he sank onto the bed. “I wanted to explain. The reason I was reluctant had nothing to do with not finding you attractive. I had a lover. Of sorts. And, though there was no spoken commitment, I couldn't help feeling guilty.” He looked down at his own hands folded in his lap. “But he doesn't wish to see me anymore."

  John's eyes widened. “A lover? Here at school?” He looked around as if he would spot him.

  Percy raised his gaze to John's face. “Yes. I went to see him last night and he turned me away.” He rubbed his hands over his face. John was the only person he could speak to about it, even if he had to remain rather circumspect about who exactly it was.

  John came to sit by him on the bed. He put his arm around him and said softly, “Then he's a fool. I couldn't imagine anyone turning you away.” He bit his lip. “Are you in love with him?"

  Percy's brows drew together. “God help me, I think I am,” he said quietly. “It's an awful coil, John. I know that there's no hope, but I can't stop thinking of him.” He leaned against John, putting his head on the other young man's shoulder.

  John sighed, tightening his embrace. “Is it truly over between you?” he asked softly. “Does he love you?"

  Percy shook his head. “No. It was only sex to him. And I suppose it became too risky for him.” He shrugged his shoulders. “He doesn't care for me. Sometimes I doubted that he even liked me.” To think of it made him miserable. He had felt sometimes, rarely, that Alastair might care for him if only a little. But obviously he didn't.

  John closed his eyes. “Then he is a bastard, to use you that way,” he said softly. Then he leaned close and placed a lingering kiss on the edge of Percy's mouth.

  Percy needed this sort of comfort. He craved it. He turned his head and kissed John back sweetly. “He's not, though. But let's not speak about him. I'm weary of examining it from every angle. I've thought of little else since last night."

  Smiling, John whispered, “Perhaps you'd like to distract yourself, then? We could play some chess..."

  Percy's lips twitched. “Good heavens, John. Did you just make a joke?” he teased. “I'm not very good at chess. Perhaps you could show me some moves,” he said quietly.

  John settled his hand on Percy's knee. “I think you know a few more moves than I do,” he said softly. “But I think I have learned a few things."

  Percy was helpless to resist the sweet offer. He reached up and slid his fingers into John's hair and kissed him again, gently probing between his lips with a low moan. He massaged his scalp gently, lavishing him with all the affection he had pent up inside him, that he might have lavished on another if he'd welcomed it. John responded immediately, opening to Percy. After a moment he began to push the other man back on the bed.

  Percy tumbled back, sliding his hands around John's back, urging him forward. It was soothing to his jangled ego and battered heart. John was just the balm he needed right now, and he let himself enjoy it, putting Alastair from his mind as best he could.

  John ended up squarely on top of Percy, and he wiggled, pressing his rapidly hardening cock against the other man's thigh. Percy whimpered. His hands moved down over John's ass and he groped him. He w
anted more and he pressed his thigh up to press against him. He was rock hard already.

  "Ooh,” moaned John as he felt the increased pressure. “Perce, feels good..."

  Percy blinked and gazed into John's eyes. “Do you want to take me, John?” he whispered hotly. He didn't know why it seemed like such a wonderful idea just at that moment, but he wanted to purge himself of the rejection and feel wanted again.

  John whimpered, eyes clouded with lust. “Yes, oh God, Percy. I've thought about it..."

  Percy knew it was what he wanted, and he knew that John wanted it, too, and that was all he needed. “We'll need some sort of oil. Have you got anything like that? Perhaps...” he wasn't even sure what sort of oil Alastair had used.

  John looked confused for a moment, then he climbed off Percy and rummaged in a drawer. “Will this do?” he held up a small vial.

  Percy smiled, climbing off the bed. He was shedding clothing quickly. They both had class in an hour. “Perfect.” His shirt tumbled to the floor and he started unbuttoning his trousers. “Are you ready?"

  John dropped his trousers, and his rock hard cock jutted out. “Yes, I'd say I'm quite ready."

  Percy grinned. “All right then. Do you understand the basic concept?” he asked breathily. He closed the distance between them and kissed John again, resting his hands on his slim hips for a moment.

  "Well. You said it wasn't that difficult,” John said cautiously. “You'll tell me if I'm getting it wrong?"

  Percy smiled and took John's hands, leading him back to the bed. He took the vial and opened it, pouring some into his palm before smoothing it over John's cock in long strokes. “How does that feel?” he asked.

  John's head had fallen back and he was trying not to pant. “Ooh. So good, Percy. I love it when you touch me..."

  Percy loved the way John looked when he was aching and desperate. He gave in to the feeling so innocently. “Now, there's a few ways to do it, but we're going to start with the easiest for you, all right?” he asked, smiling fondly. “Just lie down and I'll do all the work. If you feel inspired to do anything else, by all means, go right ahead.” He kissed him sweetly again and released him.