Once in a Lifetime

by Jade Falconer

  "Always,” Alastair said, caressing Percy's arm. “There is no place in the world I'd rather be."

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  Chapter Twenty-Eight

  A week later Percy decided there was no point in putting it off any longer, and Zelda agreed. Gwendolyn was no more pleased about it than Alastair was, but they both realized there was nothing to be done about it.

  Percy returned to their room afterwards, but Alastair wasn't there. He was worried. He expected him to be waiting. He decided it was best to have a quick bath first, and he rang for some water. After cleaning himself and changing into plain wool trousers and a loose white shirt, he went in search of Alastair.

  He found him in the library. Percy leaned in the doorway. “Is this a private party?” he asked.

  Alastair sat in front of the fire, mostly empty bottle of whiskey beside him. He didn't look up, only stared morosely into the flames as he said, “As it is your home, I suppose not."

  Percy felt apprehensive. There was a pall hanging over the house as it was. Not the way he really wanted to bring his child into the world, but it was a risky business at best. He pushed off the doorframe and wandered over, sitting across from him. “It's your home, as well,” he said quietly.

  Alastair drained his glass and refilled it. He looked up at Percy, then looked away. “You did it.” It wasn't a question.

  "As you knew I was going to,” he pointed out. He could tell that Alastair was well on his way to being drunk. He'd rarely seen him like this. He had some experience of the other man's anger, and it wasn't a pleasant circumstance, but he was ready to weather whatever.

  "And I still don't like it.” Alastair wouldn't look at Percy, and didn't make a move toward him.

  Percy frowned. “You may rest assured that I'm fully aware of your displeasure,” he said sullenly. He was feeling defensive. All he wanted was to do the right thing, that which he'd been raised to do. “And if it doesn't take the first time, can I expect this sort of aftermath in the future as well?” he asked.

  "It better damn well have taken,” Alastair muttered with distaste.

  Percy stood up. “Unfortunately, having no experience at getting a woman with child, I've no idea if it took or not. But either way, I shall leave you to be angry at me to your heart's content.” He wasn't sure why he felt suddenly emotional. He was almost certain a scene of similar emotion if differing method was taking place elsewhere in the house.

  That got Alastair's attention. “Don't you walk away from me,” he warned, his voice a low growl.

  Percy stopped in his tracks and turned, arching an eyebrow. “Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't realize we were having a civil conversation that I could be walking away from,” he said tightly. He put his hands on his hips.

  Alastair put his glass down so hard it nearly shattered. He stood abruptly and stalked over to Percy, looming over him. He grabbed Percy's arm and snarled, “I'm not one of the staff. Don't dismiss me as if I am."

  Percy's eyes widened. “I was doing nothing of the sort,” he said with less conviction than the words themselves held. He swallowed hard. “But I won't be chastised like a naughty child, either. I did what had to be done."

  Alastair sneered nastily, leaning close. “What had to be done,” he mimicked. His expression darkened even further. “Did you like it?"

  Percy swallowed hard. “Only enough to accomplish the task at hand and not hurt Zelda's feelings,” he said, frowning. It wasn't easy for him, either. He didn't think Alastair really appreciated that.

  Alastair laughed without amusement. “Well, unlike Zelda, you at least had to like it somewhat, or things would not have happened at all,” he insinuated.

  Percy could see this wasn't going well. “Yes. It was rather difficult, actually. I had to think of other things."

  "Other things?” Alastair nodded. “Of course. You thought of England, no doubt,” his voice dripping with sarcasm.

  Percy glowered at him. “No. I thought of you.” He looked down at his arm where Alastair was gripping it. “Bruising me isn't going to change things, you know."

  "But it makes me feel better after you fucked someone else,” Alastair said savagely, pushing Percy away abruptly.

  "Do you want to hurt me, then? Do you want to punish me for what can't be helped?” he asked defiantly. “Go ahead if it soothes your fragile ego."

  Alastair's face twisted with whiskey-fueled rage. “How would you feel had it been me doing it then? Can you truly say it wouldn't upset you had I been with someone else, be it male or female?"

  "Of course it would upset me, but the circumstances would have made it a little more palatable. Do you think I want it to be this way? Do you think I'm going to suddenly prefer ladies or something?” he scoffed. Then he paused. “Wait a moment. That is what you think, isn't it?"

  Alastair's eyes narrowed and he glared at Percy. “It's been known to happen,” he said noncommittally.

  "I suppose if you have no faith in someone you're destined to be paranoid,” he shot back. He knew he should be gentler with Alastair, but he was heartily sick of arguing about this. He'd apologized enough.

  "You've certainly made no secret of the fact that you enjoyed variety,” Alastair responded after a moment.

  Percy yanked his arm away at that. “It's one thing to be upset over this. It's quite another to make thinly veiled accusations. Are you saying you think I would be unfaithful to you?” he asked, getting angrier by the moment.

  Alastair reached out now and grabbed Percy by his long curly hair. He yanked him closer. “I'm saying nothing,” he snapped.

  "It certainly sounded that way,” he said through gritted teeth. “Let go of me,” he growled.

  "I'll let go of you when I damn well please,” Alastair replied, voice low. He pulled deliberately on Percy's hair, forcing his head back at a painful angle.

  Percy sucked in a painful breath. “Alastair, stop it,” he whispered. “Please.” He wasn't sure what the other man wanted, and that made him nervous. “You know I only want you. I love you. Please. I would never betray you, I swear it."

  "Well, perhaps then you should try to be more reassuring,” Alastair replied. “Instead of insulting."

  "You're the one being insulting. Do you think I wanted to do this?” he asked. Even though his head was twisted back almost painfully, he looked into Alastair's eyes. “You know how I feel about you."

  "Maybe I need to hear it again,” Alastair said, voice softening. “Considering the circumstances."

  "I love you. Only you. I want you. All the time,” he said, licking his lips. “I'm sorry. I'm sorry it had to be this way, but please don't doubt that I love you. No one could ever compare."

  Alastair released his grip on Percy's hair and stepped back, slumping into a chair. “I don't want you to stay with me out of obligation,” he whispered. “Perhaps I should be gone. Not keep you from happiness..."

  Percy straightened, looking confused. “What? What are you talking about? Are you mad?” He stalked over to him and climbed onto the chair, over Alastair's lap, facing him. “You are my happiness!"

  Alastair looked at Percy miserably. “I'm no good for you,” he whispered.

  Percy frowned. “If you dare leave here, I shall hunt you down and drag you back. I shall follow you wherever you go.” He put his hands on Alastair's shoulders. “Have you any idea how lonely I was before you came here?” he whispered.

  Alastair hesitated. “You don't know. When I was pulling your hair, hurting you, I liked it. It makes me hard to hurt you and treat you roughly."

  "You've been rough before. I just didn't like you being truly angry at me.” He raked his fingers through Alastair's hair. He leaned in and kissed him. “You can hurt me,” he whispered. “You're not allowed to hate me, though."

  "It felt good,” Alastair whispered. “I wanted to hurt you. Make you cry out. Hold you down and take you while you struggled."

  "Take me to bed and I'll show you how much I want you, Alastair.�
�� He wanted to make his love happy. He wanted to do everything that Alastair wanted. He wanted to reassure him. He wanted Alastair to stay. “Please?"

  Alastair groaned and pulled Percy into a passionate kiss, and he pulled the smaller man forward until they were as close as possible. Percy moaned into Alastair's mouth. He wanted him so completely, even after the evening's strange activities—perhaps because of them. He wished he could tell Alastair about it, about how odd it was, and how inadequate he felt. How it was all he could do to accomplish it, and it was only memories of the first time Alastair had bent him over his desk at school that had kept him going. But he couldn't talk about it. Just mentioning it clearly hurt the other man, and he would do anything not to lose him.

  Alastair kissed Percy hard, hands roaming over him, then pulled back with a wild, desperate look in his eyes. “I just don't want you to think it's better that way, with a woman. I cannot compete with that."

  Percy's heart melted at that. “Alastair...” He shook his head. “Of course I've chosen to be with men because it's the easier path in life,” he said with smirk. “I love you. You have no competition. When I said I had to think of you to manage it, I meant that. Love, you're all I want. I belong to you, and you alone. Please don't do this."

  Alastair looked down. “I do not deserve you, my beautiful Percy. I do not know why you love me."

  Percy had an answer for that. He touched Alastair's chin and urged his face up to meet his gaze. “You're proud and strong and smart and beautiful. You make me want to be better than I am. I love you for so many reasons, Alastair. Not just because I love being taken by you, roughly, gently, and everything in between. Please, love. We had to endure so much to get here, and the prize is in sight. Don't doubt me now. You're everything to me, and I want to spend the rest of my life bringing you a fraction of the happiness you bring me."

  Alastair just gazed at Percy. “You are amazing,” he said, then kissed him once again. He held him as close as possible as he did so, then pulled back. “I am sorry that I was angry. You are everything to me and I could not bear the thought of losing you."

  "You'll have to sneak off in the dead of night to get away from me, and even then I will hunt you down,” he said, smiling. He leaned back and slid off Alastair's lap, holding out his hands. “Come to bed?” he asked gently.

  Alastair stood slowly, taking Percy's hands and pulling him close. “Percy, I never thought I could say these words to anyone. I love you. I want to be with you forever."

  Percy's breath hitched. In all the time they'd been together, Alastair had never said that aloud, though Percy knew. He'd known through so many little acts, the possessiveness, the desperation, the little kindnesses, the teasing. He knew this was a hurdle for Alastair, and he smiled adoringly at him. “You have my heart, Alastair. Thank you for letting me in,” he said quietly.

  "I believe I had no choice,” Alastair smiled, hands resting on the smaller man's back. “You are an irresistible force.” His demeanor relaxed, all aggressiveness gone.

  Percy laughed at that. “It's true. You didn't stand much of a chance. You know how spoiled the aristocracy is. When I see something I want, I simply have to have it.” He pressed his body against Alastair's, hips wriggling impatiently. “Help me forget tonight."

  "You want me to remind you whom your body belongs to?” he purred softly.

  Percy licked his lips. He could almost smell the desire rising in his lover, as if their bodies were in perfect harmony with each other. “I want you to take your pleasure of that which belongs completely to you,” he whispered hoarsely.

  Alastair's hands dropped to Percy's ass, pulling him tighter against him. “I think that can be arranged,” he replied, grinding their cocks together. “But I must warn you. I may not be able to control myself with you. You drive me mad with need."

  "Mmm, I love that,” he said. “I love it when you lose control because of me. I want that, love.” He leaned in and nuzzled along Alastair's jaw, nipping at his neck. “Do what you want to me. Don't hold back,” he whispered. He could feel that it was going to be hot, just from how badly they both wanted to reassure themselves, Alastair that Percy didn't prefer women, and Percy that Alastair wasn't going to leave even if he had to do it again.

  Groaning, Alastair rocked against Percy. “If you keep speaking like that I shall have to take you right here,” he warned, hands all over him.

  Percy hesitated a moment before he pulled away abruptly. “Oh I don't think so,” he said, backing away. “I think you're going to have to catch me first.” He was grinning as he backed towards the door.

  Alastair smirked, clearly catching on to the game, and he followed quickly. “When I catch you, and I will, it will go even harder for you,” he said, reaching out for Percy.

  Percy backed just out of Alastair's reach. “Oh, you think I'm afraid of the big bad teacher, hm?” he snorted. He had his hand on the door handle and pulled it open. “Are you going to smack me across the knuckles with a ruler, then?” he teased. “Or maybe take a paddle to my bottom?” He wiggled his eyebrows at that.

  "Mmm, perhaps,” Alastair mused. “Though I believe I have better things to do to your bottom.” He darted forward and grabbed Percy by the hair once again.

  Percy was nearly in the entry hall when Alastair grabbed his hair. He remembered what his lover had said about liking the resistance. “Let go,” he ground out, pushing at Alastair's chest. He hoped Alastair would understand that it was all an act.

  "I will let go when I've finished with you,” Alastair rasped. “You're mine and I will take what is mine.” He yanked him closer.

  Percy found himself pressed against Alastair's chest, his scalp stinging. “You're hurting me,” he whined, though a part of him enjoyed even the pain to a somewhat disturbing degree. He was achingly hard for Alastair. It only emphasized how truly awful he was at dominating anyone else. He reached up and tried to pry Alastair's fingers off his hair. “Let go,” he repeated, pushing against the larger man with his body.

  "I will let go if you promise not to run from me."

  Percy's expression might have given him away. The corner of his mouth twitched into a half smirk. “I promise I won't run away,” he said, crossing his fingers behind his back like a schoolboy.

  "I don't believe you,” Alastair replied, but loosened his grip a bit.

  Percy smiled in what he hoped was an innocent way. “I won't run, Alastair,” he said softly.

  Alastair raised an eyebrow, but he released him slowly.

  "Thank you,” he said straightening up. He smiled and turned, then started to walk very quickly towards the stairs. “I don't suppose this is exactly fostering trust,” he called over his shoulder as he took the stairs two at a time.

  Alastair rolled his eyes and followed at a more sedate pace. “You will be punished,” he called out as he reached the top.

  Percy was in the bedroom and half undressed before Alastair arrived. He leaned against the bed frame in just his trousers, and an impish smile. “And what form shall my punishment take?” he asked, licking his lips as Alastair entered the room.

  Alastair closed the door securely behind him, and regarded Percy. “Being thoroughly fucked by me,” he answered solemnly.

  Percy folded his arms across his chest. “That's hardly punishment. I think you're going soft in your old age,” he teased. He winked at his lover, waiting for him to approach.

  "Oh I think you'll find out,” Alastair drawled, stepping closer, “That I'm anything but soft right now."

  Percy let out a nervous laugh. “So you say,” he goaded. He was deliberately asking for trouble. He knew what Alastair needed, and it was nice to feel like he was in control again, completely. He backed up.

  "And I suggest you come over here, kneel and find out for yourself,” Alastair said with a lazy smile. “Or after that quite thorough fucking, I won't let you climax."

  Percy sucked in a breath. “You wouldn't really do that, would you?” he asked. He didn't be
lieve that he would, and the bluff was a tempting one to call.

  Alastair shrugged. “Then perhaps a more effective punishment would be to not fuck you at all."

  He took a step forward then. “You wouldn't!” That was a more alarming thought. He slid to his knees in front of Alastair and looked up at him.

  "I would,” promised Alastair, looking down at Percy. “You know I have a great deal of control."

  "Just to punish me? That's cruel!” He pouted, folding his arms behind his back. His chin stretched up slightly more, just on a level with the fastenings on Alastair's trousers. “I'm sure you can think of a more enjoyable punishment."

  "Well, you could start by sucking me with that insolent mouth,” the older man began. “Perhaps you could convince me to relent."

  "Insolent?” he said, arching a brow. He started unfastening Alastair's trousers. “I'm insolent now? Well. Hm.” He pulled out Alastair's cock gently and curled his fingers around the base. He looked up at him, lips parted, but just close enough so his warm breath caressed the head.

  "Yes. Insolent. And a tease,” Alastair said, his voice showing a touch of strain. He didn't move.

  "Would a tease do this?” he asked. Then he reached out with his tongue flattening it against the head of Alastair's cock before he slowly sucked him deep into his mouth. He held him there for a moment, pressing with the muscles of his mouth. Then he pulled back slowly, keeping his gaze on Alastair's face.

  Alastair's breath quickened. “He might. Keep going."

  Percy knew exactly how Alastair liked it, and he started sucking hard and fast and deep. He swallowed around the thick flesh, letting Alastair's cock slide down his throat. He was determined to please his lover. He didn't want to take the chance that Alastair was going to be stubborn about fucking.

  Alastair moaned softly and stroked Percy's hair. “That's more like it,” he encouraged.

  Percy sucked on Alastair's cock like it was some sort of command performance. He stroked and swallowed, relaxing his throat and taking him all the way down over and over again. He hummed around him, shivering at every sound his lover made. Alastair wasn't loud by any means, so every murmur, every moan was a triumph.