Torn to Pieces (The Boys of DownCrash #2) (new adult contemporary romance / rockstar romance)

by Casey, London

“I’m going to battle my way to the bar and get lit up. Want to join me?”

  Derreck looked me and smiled. “That’s Nick. I work with him.”

  I looked at Nick. The man was nothing but muscle and evil eyes.

  “Let’s go, Derreck,” Nick said. “Leave the little lady to herself. She can fend her way home.”

  Derreck pulled me close to him. His lips were at my ears. “Go the fuck home and wait for me.”

  “You can’t drive drunk,” I said to him.

  “I can’t? Are you telling me something? Are you ordering me not to do something?”

  “Derreck, please,” I said. “I don’t want anyone to get in trouble...”

  “The only trouble will be if you’re not home, waiting for me.” He pulled away and looked at me. His lip curled. “Promise me.”

  I lost the battle, easily and willingly, nodding. “I promise,” I whispered.

  “Good. See you later then.”

  Derreck turned and Nick wrapped one of his big arms around Derreck’s neck. The two of them pushed and punched their way through the crowd, knocking people out of the way without care. If anyone dared to say something, they were thrown and one guy even took a quick punch from Nick to the gut, dropping him.

  It was terrifying to watch the capabilities of Derreck and Nick.

  However, it didn’t surprise me because Derreck had always hung out with the craziest, scariest people. People who had no hearts and most of the time, no minds.

  I looked around, feeling trapped and alone in the middle of the crowd.

  I couldn’t just leave, could I?

  If so, how the hell would I get home?

  Walk?

  It would take me an hour, at least, to walk home.

  I spotted Derreck and Nick at the side of the bar. I peered to my left, looking at the stage. Most of DownCrash’s equipment had been taken away. The band was still backstage.

  That meant Tatum was still backstage.

  I thought about him looking at me. I thought about the girl kissing him. I thought about everything.

  I needed to see if I could talk to him. Ironically, I hurried against the movement of the crowd, but everyone moved out of my way. I made it to the stage in no time. I slowly walked towards the side, as far as I could go. A small barrier separated me from the backstage. Just like in the other clubs I’d been in and DownCrash played, next to that area were the doors for the bathrooms and the kitchen area.

  I just stood there, feeling alone and hopeless. I knew if Derreck saw me lingering, he’d make me pay for it. Plus, I had to make sure I was home when Derreck came back, or else.

  For the few minutes I stood there, I just hoped whatever was happening backstage was what Tatum wanted. Finding someone who could love him, appreciate him, care about him, and not just because he was a rockstar or because he was deadly sexy. Someone needed to care for Tatum for who he was. The way his eyes looked, the way his touch felt, the way his heart...

  “Maggie?”

  I heard Tatum’s voice, but didn’t respond right away. As far as I was concerned, it was all inside my mind.

  Then I felt a hand on my shoulder and I cringed. I could only imagine it being Derreck, ready to unleash hell because I stayed there. I looked to my left and saw Tatum standing there.

  “Tatum...”

  “Maggie, are you okay?”

  Tears filled my eyes. I shook my head. “No.”

  “Shit... come with me, quick.”

  Tatum took my hand and we darted for the bathrooms. He chose the women’s room and closed the door behind us, locking it.

  I stopped and stared at him. His tall frame blocking the door. That’s all I ever wanted to see. Tatum blocking all the bad from getting in and hurting me. Hurting us.

  “What’s going on?”

  I looked around. “I’m in a bathroom with the drummer from DownCrash.”

  “Better than the men’s room, trust me.”

  I smiled as a tear fell out of my eye.

  We stood in silence. I had no idea where to begin or what to say.

  But Tatum did.

  He stepped towards me and I didn’t step back. I wasn’t afraid of Tatum like I was with Derreck. Tatum touched my cheek, wiping the tear away. I wanted his hand to linger but it didn’t. I squeezed my eyes shut so more tears would fall. When they did, he put both hands to my face. His thumbs rubbed the tears, taking them away. His right hand fell away from my face but his left hand stayed.

  This was all I ever wanted... this real moment.

  His left hand slowly moved to the back of my neck. I could feel everything between us. The passion between still burned.

  He put his forehead to mine, just like the night I was drunk and he came to save me.

  Our noses touched and Tatum kept going. He pulled at the back of my neck and brought his lips down to mine. We kissed once and Tatum moved away.

  “Fuck,” he whispered.

  “Tatum, please don’t...”

  “I can’t, right now,” he said.

  I opened my mouth and Tatum put his lips to mine. We didn’t kiss, we just let our lips touch for a few seconds.

  I felt more tears fall from eyes.

  Tears of fear.

  Tears of passion.

  Tears of perhaps believing that whatever Tatum and I wanted would never actually happen. It would only be collected in a few steamy memories I could hold forever.

  “I have to know,” Tatum said, his lips fluttering against mine, “did he hurt you?”

  “This time? Of course.”

  “Physically...”

  “No,” I whispered. “I avoid him the best I can.”

  “Why then? Why... Maggie, why?”

  I could hear Tatum’s voice cracking. The passion in the room quickly rolled into regret. Both of us regretting so much at once, but we didn’t have to apologize to know we were sorry.

  “I can’t explain,” I said. “I just... don’t know...”

  “Is he here now?” Tatum asked.

  I closed my eyes and nodded.

  “Does he know you’re here?”

  “Yeah. He’s drinking with a friend. He thinks I’m on my out though. I have to be home when he gets there or...”

  “Or what? Will he... touch you?”

  “I don’t know,” I said.

  Tatum took a deep breath and put his head back. I heard him growling for a second and then his fist connected with the wall. The drywall cracked and the thunderous sound was only followed by my helpless cry.

  “Dammit, Maggie,” Tatum said, “I was gone one night...”

  “He came back,” I said. “He came back like nothing ever happened. I promised him...”

  “Another fucking promise?” Tatum asked.

  “When we were eighteen I promised him that I’d be there when he came back. I didn’t mean it then, but he came back. I didn’t know what to do...”

  “I knew you didn’t mean a thing you said,” Tatum said. “And I swear to you, Maggie, I will protect you.”

  Tatum moved at me again. I reached for his right hand and touched his swollen knuckles.

  “He won’t hurt you,” Tatum said. “I’ll tell him to leave.”

  “He won’t leave,” I said. “That’s not how it works.”

  “Then how does it work?” Tatum asked.

  “You tell me first,” I said. “You moved on already...”

  “I what?”

  “That girl... she kissed you...”

  Tatum lowered his head.

  “It’s your new girlfriend, isn’t it?”

  “I don’t know,” Tatum whispered. “Okay?”

  “You don’t know? What does that mean?”

  Tatum looked back at me, his eyes desperate and sad. “She’s... my ex.”

  I laughed and touched my face. “How fucking perfect. We’re both with our exes.”

  “My story is a little different than yours,” Tatum said.

  I took that as a shot and let out a small
cry. Just to know that Tatum did that to someone, knowing for sure now, it was like a thousand knives inside me at once. It was... unfair.

  “I’m sorry,” Tatum said. “But after you... my mind was just... I needed to right a wrong and I did.”

  “Right a wrong?”

  Tatum sighed.

  I suddenly wished we weren’t in a damn bathroom, but it was the only safe spot in the club, maybe the world even. Plus, with the door locked, I guess I was trapped with Tatum.

  It could always be worse.

  “Listen to me,” Tatum said. He grabbed my arms and pulled me towards him. “Carrie was the girl I was with when DownCrash started getting popular. She stayed with me through the shows, the girls, the everything. But as the band got bigger and better, it became too much to handle. Something had to give somewhere. I was being pulled on all sides. From Tripp. From Logan. From the shows. From the recording. From the practicing. From Carrie. Then it came down to a choice. I knew it. The band knew it. Even Carrie knew it. I didn’t set out to hurt anyone and I believe you didn’t do the same with me.”

  “Did I hurt you?” I asked.

  “Fuck, Maggie, you crushed me,” Tatum said. “Watching you yell at me, knowing something else was hurting in you, something I couldn’t get to. I had to drive away from your apartment while you were in pain. Do you know what that’s like?”

  “Yes!” I cried out. “I watched you drive away in pain. Because of me. I didn’t want to cause you pain, then or now. I want you to be happy... in love... smiling... kissin...”

  Tatum’s lips touched mine again. This time with more passion. More heat. With the same intense lust as before. I moaned, feeling warming pleasure everywhere. It was exactly what I needed right then.

  The kiss broke again, much like before, and again, Tatum whispered, “Fuck.”

  “Tatum, don’t stop,” I begged.

  “Let me finish my story,” he said.

  He still held my arms as he continued.

  “So, one night, while we were drinking after a practice, it all came together for me. I needed to choose. Either music or love. Not both. They couldn’t exist together because one would always try to top the other. My heart belonged in one spot and one spot forever. I sobered up by staying up all night, thinking about DownCrash and thinking about Carrie. I knew my decision long before I made it, but it was nice to reflect on what I had with Carrie. We had that young romance and butterfly feeling...”

  Jealousy burned in me.

  I wanted to be young, romantic, hopeless, floating.

  “So I broke up with Carrie. I destroyed her heart and just let it fall. She begged me not to do it. She begged me for anything. And right after that happened, her father had a heart attack and died shortly after. It was the hardest six months of her life.”

  I nodded.

  “I didn’t even get in touch with her after her father passed away. I just ignored her for such a long time, and it always bothered me. Then you came along, Maggie, and changed everything I knew. I don’t care if we weren’t together for a long time or not even a real couple, whatever. You just... made everything right.”

  “Right to go back to her?”

  “It’s not like that,” Tatum said. “I swear. I thought about what your ex was doing to you and if I couldn’t fix it, I could at least fix what I did wrong. So I did. I called Carrie and apologized. We met up and talked... and I realized something... I can have both. I can have music. I can have romance. I see the way Tripp and Scarlett look at each other and they both know and respect what music represents to each other and the band. It just works. And I want that. I deserve that.”

  “Of course you do,” I said. “You deserve the world, Tatum.”

  Tatum took a deep breath. “You showed me that, Maggie. That love and music can exist side by side.”

  “Great,” I said. “I showed you how to get back together with your ex then.”

  “No,” Tatum yelled. “Fuck. No. I look at you, right here, right now, and it just makes sense. The world makes sense looking at you.”

  “Then prove it,” I said. “Do something about it. Make me... feel it.”

  Tatum bit at his lip ring. Temptation danced around us in the bathroom. The rest of the world stayed right where it belonged - outside. The reality of whatever waited felt like a dream and Tatum and I felt like reality. He kissed me again and this time, I could feel it, this kiss wasn’t going to end a few seconds into it.

  Our lips were locked and when he opened his mouth, I stole the chance to finally have the kiss I’d been dying for. My tongue explored his mouth and his hand on the back of my neck squeezed. He groaned and his hand down at his side came forward, touching my hand. Our fingers interlocked and as we kissed, my heart fluttered. My heart came to life. The pieces began to lift, just like that.

  Tatum pressed against me. I felt his body, finally. The hardness of his muscles under his shirt. The light dampness of sweat from the show. The scent of desire. He began to push me so hard that I had to back up. He was too strong and I was too ready. I stepped back, over and over, stumbling a few times, almost falling, until I crashed into the wall. I let out a cry and Tatum groaned.

  I touched between his legs. He was thick and ready. I needed him. I didn’t care about anything right then. Just Tatum. Just his body. Just our passion. I pulled at his zipper, allowing one of my hands to get into his pants. I felt him over his boxers, rubbing him up and down.

  Tatum gripped my waist. He unbutton my pants and forced them down. My skin tingled at the touch of his fingers. His right hand cut up between my hips, touching my panties and then tearing them to the side. His fingers touched my moist slit, and then two fingers were in me. My mouth opened and I let out a long moan. Tatum slid his lips down my chin to my neck.

  “Maggie,” he whispered. “I... can’t control myself...”

  “Don’t. Don’t control it. Do it. Right now.”

  My hand moved into his boxers, gripping his hard, bare skin. I wrestled until he was exposed, my small hand racing up and down his erection. I moved as fast as I could until Tatum stopped me.

  “Fuck, girl, you’re going to kill this moment,” he said.

  We looked at each other and we both smiled.

  The moment was so wrong... in so many ways... but when he touched me nothing felt so good and so right.

  Our eyes were locked as he guided the thick tip of himself into me. His hands were then back at my hips, holding me, positioning me, preparing me. My body thrust at him, wanting more. My knees bent and I offered myself the best I could. Tatum moaned and thrust forward, fully entering me. My mouth fell open, my breath stolen from the intense pressure and pleasure coming together in the same second at the same spot.

  Our bodies connected over and over, and we acted as though they were the last seconds we had alive or the last moments we’d ever touch each other. At one point my hands were under Tatum’s shirt, feeling his abs tightening as he fucked me. I finally found comfort behind his neck, I locked my fingers together as I held on tight. The harder he bucked at me, the better it felt. Knowing that just beyond the walls of the bathroom was the bar and restaurant, along with both Derreck and Carrie, it made everything riskier and hotter.

  I lifted my legs off the floor and Tatum’s hands cupped under the back of my legs. He lifted me a little more, putting me in the perfect position and I wrapped my legs tight around him. His hands then moved to my ass where he cupped and pulled, wanting more of me. The sex got hotter as we breathed heavily and cried out to each other. When I looked into Tatum’s eyes, I could see a little regret and I knew he could see the same in my eyes. But beyond that, more dominant than anything else was the fact that we wanted each other. Nothing else mattered as he thrust deep in me.

  My back tried arching against the wall and when I felt my climax rushing, I put my mouth to Tatum’s ear and bit for a second.

  “I’m coming,” I managed to whisper with a whimpering moan.

  Tatum grunted a
nd came at me harder. He exploded a few seconds later, matching the intensity of my orgasm. We were against the bathroom wall, the thrusts slow and deep. Our lips came together again. I put my feet back to the floor only to have Tatum thrust a few more times, lifting me each time he did so.

  I moaned through every thrust until Tatum pulled himself from me. He took two steps back, put himself away, and stared at me. I stood with my hands at my side, my pants and panties still down, stuck between pleasure and shock.

  I couldn’t believe that just happened.

  More so, I couldn’t believe I broke a promise to Derreck. A big promise.

  “Maggie,” Tatum said.

  I swallowed and tears filled my eyes.

  “Shit,” he whispered.

  He came back to me and bent his knees. I looked down at him and watched as he gripped my panties. He gently lifted my panties, followed by my pants.

  “Should I have done that?” Tatum asked.

  A tear fell from my eye and I smiled. “Yes. You should have... and more...”

  “Maggie,” Tatum said, his hand touching my face. “I never want you to be in pain. I never want you to hurt.”

  “Tatum, I’m in love with you.”

  Tatum’s mouth closed. He didn’t blink. The seriousness of our relationship had just been put into a catapult and sent off into space.

  “I love you, Maggie,” he said.

  We kissed again and I casually fixed my panties and pants. I did my best to look as normal as I did walking into the bathroom.

  Tatum and I lingered for a few minutes, staring at each other, kissing, knowing the seconds were counting down until we would have to face the outside world.

  “What are you going to do?” Tatum asked. “I want to help.”

  “There’s nothing you can do,” I said. “It’ll only cause trouble. I’m going to talk to Derreck... tell him...”

  Tatum nodded. “If you need me...”

  “You have to deal with your stuff too.”

  Tatum nodded and closed his eyes. “I fucked it up again.”

  It was my turn to touch Tatum’s face. My thumb went for his lip ring, playing and teasing.

  “You didn’t fuck anything up, Tatum,” I whispered. “You’re following your heart.”

  “Now you sound greedy,” he said.