Honey & Love

by Jessica Pots

  Apparently, someone forgot to order peaches…the main ingredient in the damn thing.

  Love’s voice picks up and then it fades from my mind when I consider everything else around here which needs to be attended to. I shove the thoughts out of my head and my fingers in my hair then squeeze my temples.

  So much commotion…

  CLINK.

  The glasses behind the bar are being polished and stacked.

  CRASH.

  Something breaks in the distance.

  SPLASH.

  The plumbing team carries on with their work.

  I spin around and survey the action.

  At least thirty people crowd this place now. It’s late afternoon and preparations are still underway for tonight. Technically, we’re three hours behind and if the toilets aren’t fixed our only option is to delay the launch altogether, or, be super creative and rent the fanciest port-a-potties in all of Chicago!

  Imagine how that will go down with the crowd we’ve invited here tonight.

  Our lack of facilities will be the talk of this city.

  Crush nightclub… like partying in the outback!

  Crush nightclub…a toilet-free experience.

  Crush nightclub…pee before you go!

  I’m dizzy thinking of the possible quotes our guests will offer the magazines and newspapers.

  “Honey, these are now the menu options.” Gemma shoves a handwritten menu in my face. “I need your approval before we print them. Some sort of tropical fruit dish has been added along with chicken satay and something else.” Her hands flutter around. “But no onions now or garlic. The only items on there now if consumed will leave the mouths of our guests smelling wonderful.” A cheesy smile passes over her features.

  I take the menu from her hands and review it quickly. “Yes, this is good.”

  Gemma nods harshly. “Great, perfect.”

  “How much longer will the plumbers be here?”

  Gemma frowns. “Maybe another hour or so.”

  A rumble shakes the building.

  Drilling…

  BANG. BANG. BANG.

  Heavy machinery is being applies to the walls.

  It all affects my brain and heart rate. “Oh my god.” I rough a hand over my face.

  Gemma holds out a palm. “They’ll be done soon, Honey. At least it sounds like it.” Her smile is brittle. Nevertheless, soon her hand on my shoulder is assuring. “But just to be sure, I’ll go and double check.”

  I nod slowly, thoughts crashing into one another, especially when I think of the ‘to do’ list in my pocket that’s a hundred thousand miles long. Shoving a hand in there, I feel around, finding the tiny note there. One with words written on it I’ve promised to myself that I’d say aloud before this insane day is over. All I’m waiting for is the perfect moment.

  I’m fixated on her where she stands across the large room, flipping through the pages in a huge binder and bickering with the head bartender. Her gorgeous fire-engine red hair is piled up on the top of her head in a messy bun and an orange no. 2 pencil is tucked above her left ear.

  She looks incredible.

  Love is a business woman right now. A bonafide friend. My future always.

  I unfold the note and read my words.

  It was dawn when you woke on the morning of your birthday three years ago. I remember precisely the time—5:00 a.m.—because it was the exact time I had set the coffee maker to beep the night before. I had planned to make coffee for you. But I woke up five minutes later than planned. I opened my eyes to the sight of your pretty ones and smile. With a grin, you blew the steam my way and offered it to me. I graciously accepted and kissed your lips in awe of how you could possibly be spoiling me on your birthday…You ignored my babbling, snuggled up next to me in bed then told me that the idea of coffee in bed was wonderful but…I begged to know what you wouldn’t say. And after more kisses and giggles, you finally spoke. You said your true birthday wish was exactly what we were doing just then—lounging in bed and enjoying the sight of the glowing sun at dawn as its light filtered in through the windows. It was a perfect morning and I knew I wanted every morning that we were together from then on to be just like that.

  Love cracks a joke and giggles. I laugh a bit myself and admire how relaxed she now is.

  And I start to consider something…

  Not everything in life happens at the right time or in the most ideal place.

  But it doesn’t mean it isn’t meant to be.

  Maybe there is no such thing as a ‘perfect’ time.

  Perhaps, all we have is now…and if we don’t pay attention, it will undoubtedly pass us by.

  love

  THE SPECIAL COCKTAIL OF the night is called Champagne Dream.

  I purse my lips, examine the ingredients and debate if the name is catchy enough to entice someone to pay nearly twenty-five bucks for it.

  Pulling the pencil from my ear, I scribble a check mark next to head bartender’s handwriting then write my initials along with the date. It’s a stamp of my approval. Many of which I will need to give before tonight is done.

  I breathe.

  POP.

  My head jerks up at the sight of a technician fiddling with one of the many machines located strategically around the nightclub which will be blowing “snow” when the clock strikes twelve. The man mumbles a few words into his walkie-talkie and then…

  POP.

  A cloud of confetti shoots out and rains down over the dance floor.

  The technician nods, confirming that everything is working as it should then disappears from my view.

  I’m fixated on the white confetti which drifts down from high above.

  Softly.

  Slowly.

  With purpose.

  It’s absolutely picturesque.

  I squeeze my eyes shut and a smile touches my lips at the precious memory it conjures. Ella’s Fitzgerald’s “Winter Wonderland” echoes from the speakers around this place. The commotion slips away and soon all I hear is the music.

  “Hey there, pretty girl.” A hand lands on mine.

  It doesn’t take me long to register who the soft sultry voice belongs to. “Hey there, yourself.” My eyes pop open to the sight of Honey staring right back at me, expression shy and eyes a bit shielded.

  Her long wild hair is everywhere. She runs a finger across the smooth countertop which stands between us.

  “Are you okay?” My brows knot as I wait for the answer.

  Honey gives me a cute smile. “Yes, I’m fine. I’m just a bit tired, I guess.”

  I glance over at the clock on the wall accepting that the time left until the grand opening doesn’t exactly give us the option of being tired. But I understand. Because I’m exhausted too.

  “This is going to go right, Honey, I’m sure of it.” I nod firmly.

  She smiles. “Yeah, yes. I hope. I guess I’ve just been thinking…”

  I yawn and get back to going through the numerous pages in front of me. “Oh, yeah.”

  “Yeah.”

  “About what?” My eyes flicker up to meet hers.

  “About our days in college. About how we met. About the bizarre dream we’ve both had on repeat since we were seven years old about meeting each other before we actually did.” She chuckles. “About all the places you said you wanted to visit before we get too old.” She laughs.

  “Yes, I haven’t forgotten about those.” My fingers flick through more pages at rapid speed.

  “Love.” Honey caresses my free hand.

  Soon, I’m staring into the bluest of blue eyes, captivated, breathless, heart beating away at a steady speed. “Yes.”

  “I’ve been thinking, a lot, and…”

  “Yes.” I blink.

  She smiles a pretty smile. “I’ve been thinking about that thing we said we might do one day.”

  My brows dip down to my nose.

  “Thing” we said we might do one day?

  “Oooookay.” I freeze c
ompletely and look at the woman I love who is more nervous and hesitant than I think I’ve ever seen her.

  “And, I guess, I was just wondering…”

  Is she talking about skydiving? The half marathon we said we’d run together one day? Or our promise to go hot air ballooning over the Gobi Desert together before we turn forty years old?

  “What is it you were wondering?” My eyes zoom in on hers, locked, secured, unable to blink.

  Time passes.

  Music plays.

  The raucousness goes on with no end in sight.

  We breathe.

  “I guess I was wondering, Love—"

  “Two double expressos coming right up!” Gemma’s smile is blinding as she places the paper cups in front of Honey and me.

  The daze is interrupted.

  Honey pulls her hand away.

  The spell is cancelled.

  The moment is broken, lost forever.

  Honey clears her throat. I do the same.

  “Thanks, Gemma.” I nod just when Honey does and smile.

  “I hope I’m not interrupting anything.” Gemma bounces on her toes.

  Nope, nothing at all…

  Gemma giggles and after one loud clap of her hands her eyes go wide. “The plumbers said they’ll be out of here in an hour.” She claps away. “Can you believe it!”

  Relief rushes through me.

  “And they’ll have all the excess water cleaned up.” Gemma squeals.

  “This is great news.” I smile.

  Honey exhales then grins.

  Gemma holds a finger up. “But, we now have another problem.”

  I practically collapse. “What is it now?”

  Gemma presses two fingers together. “Well, the woman who is supposed to perform tonight kind of cancelled. Something about throat strain and a sick feline.” She points to the sky. “But I’m going to fix it. I promise.” She rushes away.

  I sip the expresso feeling and wishing that I could send it into my veins via IV right now.

  “This is what it’s going to be like, Love.” Honey’s lips flatten out.

  “Yeah, I know.”

  “We’re always going to be solving problems.”

  “But you must admit we’re sort of good at it with Gemma’s help, of course.” I wiggle my brows.

  “Oh, yeah, absolutely. So, in that case, maybe we’re right where we need to be and doing what we were destined to be doing.”

  “We’re a team.” I touch her palm again.

  “Always.” She intertwines her fingers in mine and squeezes.

  Eternally.

  four

  honey

  I’M NOT CERTAIN OF how long I’ve been looking out this window…

  It feels like an hour, but it’s possibly only been five minutes or so.

  It’s white for miles and the snow continues to fall just as the temperature drops another few degrees. The moon shines down on the buildings and the city is alight as it ushers in nightfall.

  I glance over at the clock, wishing I truly didn’t have to peer at the time, and accept we’re on the countdown to God knows what is our fate.

  The woman responsible for our hair and makeup will be here in less than forty-five minutes.

  I’m still reeling over the photograph which will presumably be used on the cover of Chi-Town Nights regardless of the mix up which they claim has occurred.

  Maybe they’d let us take our own?

  It’s a fleeting thought…

  A shallow breath slips from me and I wring my hands over and over warming my skin.

  We’d arrived back home two hours later than planned.

  My insides are still tangled up over everything which has gone wrong so far today.

  Thankfully, the plumbing issue has been fixed and the concrete in the walls to cover the new pipes is resetting as I stand here. Gemma had come up with a brilliant plan of covering up all the patched-up cracks in the walls with art purchased on a whim. They were hung strategically to cover up the tragedy which had occurred this morning and had dragged me out of bed long before most people have had their coffee.

  I tug on the towel wrapped around me and revel in the sensation of the plush carpet beneath my feet. I slipped out here to answer more emails and messages, but no matter how many I’d tended to, they just seemed to keep piling in and then I realized it was a completely futile effort.

  When the phone buzzes once more, I pick it up and stare at the message there which hurts my eyeballs to no end and makes me feel so very ashamed.

  Mom: So, did you ask her yet, Honey?

  An endless groan leaves me.

  My attention is captured when Love’s singing slips out of the bedroom door which is cracked.

  I grin like a fool because I know she only sings when she’s really excited about something. It’s something she doesn’t even realize she does, never has. And when you mention the habit to Love, she denies it like a politician on the pulpit would if and when interrogated.

  I tap out my reply with a sigh.

  Me: No, not yet. The day hasn’t gone as planned. It’s been pretty awful honestly.

  I scroll through more messages and find one there addressed to both Love and me.

  Gemma: Luck is coming to us in spades, ladies. I was able to book another act for the midnight show…

  Thank the universe!

  Gemma: I can’t wait for you to meet her!

  Another groan rattles my rib cage.

  There’s no telling where Gemma found this act/woman. Hell, as desperate as she knows we are, it’s very possible Gemma strolled into the closest Karaoke bar and pulled the first woman out of it with the most acceptable voice who was there.

  Ask me no questions….and I’ll tell you no lies.

  So, I decide not to push the issue and am simply grateful that we’ve managed to find a replacement performer.

  Gemma: But she can only do a few songs, so because of that I was able to book a DJ too! She comes highly recommended as one of the best DJs in all of Chi-Town.

  All I can think about is how much that is going to cost us.

  Gemma: AND she’s a lesbian. Jut thought I would mention that. Seemed like extra points…ya know. Anyways, let’s talk later.

  With a giggle, I roll my eyes and click off the trail of Gemma’s texts. Soon, I’m back to glaring at my mother’s words which glow on the screen in neon green.

  Mom: What are you waiting for, Honey? I thought this was your New Year’s Eve dream…to be engaged before the end of the year. To tell her exactly how you feel. Do I need to come down to 534 West Monroe Street and ask her for you my freakin’ self, Honey?

  Me: Of course not, Mom. I’m going to ask her. I’m just…

  Scared.

  Okay…I’m scared.

  Me: I’m just waiting for a break in the day when it’s quiet to pop the question.

  Mom: Good.

  Me: I’m going to do it.

  Do I believe my own words?

  Love is still singing.

  I plug my phone into the wall, ignore the buzzing that continues to affect it and head back into the bedroom. Reaching a hand out, I nudge the door open and pad across the room to stand in front of the dresses we’ll wear tonight and smile.

  The shower is running.

  I know right now is the only free time together we’ll likely have tonight.

  So, I head into the bathroom, ignoring the fluttering in my belly and the fear that trickles its way through my veins tonight for more reasons than one.

  Pray for me.

  I wander into the bathroom, still with a towel wrapped around me.

  Steam laced with the intoxicating scent of vanilla fills it along with Love’s sweet voice. “Jingle Bells” by Smokey Robinson and The Miracle echoes from the iPod dock on the vanity.

  I slump against it for a beat, simply listen to the music and revel in how happy Love is.

  “Are you okay, Honey?” Her voice lifts, seemingly unaware I’m already standin
g in here.

  I stare at my pink toenails and bare feet on the cool tile and huff. “Yeah, yes. I’m right here.”

  “Oh!” She laughs. “Are you coming in?”

  “Um, yeah.” My brows collide. “I just wanted to talk to you first.”

  “Well, why don’t you come in and we can scrub up together!” She gets back to singing.

  I spin around and snatch the shower cap on the vanity up and cover my hair with it. Then I remain still, just waiting, debating my next words because I never can fucking find them in my mind when I need them in order to string together proper sentences.

  I’m sure you’re wondering why I haven’t asked her by now!

  You’re saying…

  Just ask her!

  Say it!

  Get the words out!

  Maybe I’m waiting for the government to announce that it’s humanity’s very last days on earth before I muster up the courage.

  I laugh a little at my own ridiculous thoughts.

  Brushing a hand over my cheek, I drop my towel and proceed to head toward the shower.

  But the steamed-up glass door flies open and out pop’s Love’s shower-cap covered head along with her smile that’s always brightened my mood. “What’s taking you so long?” She giggles.

  Curves, so many curves. More curves in all the world find their home all over my girl.

  Sweet.

  Alluring.

  One in a million.

  “Nothing.” I step in, laughing softly, pushing down how unsettled I feel.

  The door shuts and Love steps back into the water.

  I slump against the cool tile, breathing in the steam just watching her. When she spins around and gives me that look, I can tell there’s something she’s been thinking an awful lot about too. But, one thing’s for sure, neither one of us are willing to push away our lust to now talk about it.

  love

  I PEER INTO THE BLUEST blue…

  Giggling, I cradle Honey’s cheeks in my hands and peer into her gorgeous face.

  I hate that I find worry there.

  It just might be the same emotion that’s currently flowing through my veins when I think about the whirlwind trip her custom ring had taken today—leaving home, going into the city, coming back home and now… it’s back in a drawer in the bedroom.