The Time is Now

by Gill Sanderson

  He shrugged. ‘I'm trying to be honest, Jane. And you mean an awful lot more to me than she did.’

  For a while they stared at each other in silence, then she told him, ‘You mean a lot to me too, but I'm still not sure that it's a good idea.’

  They were standing in the sister's room, just the two of them. He moved past her and opened the door. ‘No one in the corridor!’ he said. ‘We're alone!’ Then he grabbed her and kissed her.

  After a while he leaned back, though he was still holding her round the waist. ‘We're going on our holidays together,’ he said, ‘and I am looking forward to it. If you break your leg — too bad!’

  ‘If I break my leg while I'm supposed to be in Yorkshire,’ she told him, ‘I'll break your neck.’ She leaned forward to kiss him. ‘But I'm looking forward to it as well.’

  There was a line to be drawn. She wouldn't lie to Megan or Sue. There had been no more trouble from reporters and Megan had moved back home, so one evening when they were all together she told them.

  ‘We're not going to try to talk you out of it,’ Megan said calmly. ‘You're a big girl now and you can make your own decisions. Mind you, I thought I was able to make my own decisions. I trusted a man and look where it got me. Dead trouble at work. But I agree, yours is a different case.’

  ‘Have you been pressurised at all?’ Sue asked, also calmly. ‘And remember, there are more kinds of pressure than just saying that you love each other so why not? Has he tried to make you feel guilty?’

  ‘No, there's been no pressure. He's been really good that way.’

  ‘Fine. What are you doing about contraception? Contraception is part of my work as a midwife. I'd better have a word with you about it. He may be as careful as you want him to be, but in things like this it's always better not to have to rely on other people.’

  Surprisingly, this extremely sensible suggestion was the thing that came closest to making her change her mind, though it wasn't intended to. But she didn't change, her mind. And she did take Sue up on her offer.

  Surprisingly, when she went to Yorkshire that weekend, she found herself also confiding what she was doing to her new mum. Marion was very thoughtful.

  ‘Are you sure he only wants a casual relationship, Jane?’ she asked. ‘I know I had a lot to think about last weekend, but I would have said that he … cared for you a lot. He looked at you when you weren't looking at him. And it was definitely a loving look.’

  Her new father was doing well. His tumour had been found to be benign. She managed to hit it off straight away with her new brother and sister, though they were – perhaps inevitably – a bit cautious.

  When she drove back across the Pennines late on Sunday, she was conscious of her life changing. She now had a family other than Peter. There was David – and where would that relationship lead? She realised she had been in a happy rut, but now things were bound to change. For the better, she hoped.

  Jane loved airports. She had flown from Manchester before, on a late season package holiday, and the romance of flying had not yet left her. She liked the bustle, the feeling of excitement.

  As arranged, she met David in the great hall by the ticket office. He was dressed for the outdoors in anorak, woollen sweater, thick trousers, and boots. She was dressed similarly in her walking gear.

  They exchanged a quick kiss. ‘You look the part,’ he said. ‘But have you packed for apres-ski? There's quite a night life, you know.’

  ‘Try telling any woman not to pack for apres-ski.’ She indicated the two heavy bags she had just pushed in on a trolley. ‘Those aren't full of boots and sweaters, you know. I've bought all sorts of gorgeous new stuff.’

  ‘Then here's a bit more. Is there room in a bag for this?’ He gave her a packet of shiny expensive-looking blue paper.

  ‘What's in here?’ She was curious.

  ‘It's a present, but you can open it now if you want.’

  She loved surprise presents, and hastily ran her thumb down the seam of the packet. Inside was something in a scarlet material, very soft to the touch. She shook it out. It was an all-in-one ski suit, and she thought it very fetching.

  ‘The latest thing in ski outfits,’ he told her. ‘You'll look wonderful in it.’

  ‘You shouldn't buy me clothes! I can buy my own.’

  ‘I told you, I won the holiday. I can afford to buy you something extra. Now stuff it in a case and let's get the bags checked in.’

  Even the queuing wasn't too bad. Then she enjoyed the wait, the masses of magazines and books, the coffee every twenty minutes. Finally they boarded the plane.

  Once they were in the air she took his hand. ‘Thank you for bringing me,’ she said. ‘You've no idea how much I'm looking forward to it. And being with you.’

  She appreciated her anorak when they landed. The temperature was so much colder than home. They were efficiently shepherded through customs and onto a luxurious coach, which set off on the long, winding journey up into the mountains. Their first sight of the white-peaked Alps was breath-taking.

  The road grew steeper, the snow piled up on each side deeper. Their driver pulled up in a little village, and had a shouted conversation with the driver of the largest snow-plough she had ever seen. It was too fast for her schoolgirl French, but David seemed able to follow.

  ‘The driver's worried about keeping the road clear,’ he said. ‘Apparently there's been more snow than usual — and he thinks there may be avalanches.’

  ‘Surely they should be used to that sort of thing by now?’

  David shrugged. ‘We're going to a new ski village, quite a bit higher than most. It's at the end of a new road. The driver's just a bit apprehensive.’

  A man in a seat ahead of them turned and winked. In an expansive American accent he said, ‘Don't get alarmed. Around here, worrying about snow conditions is what they do. It's like Englishmen talking about the weather.’

  ‘I'm relieved to hear it,’ said Jane.

  The coach drove on, over the most slender of bridges. The driver explained on his PA system that the bridge had just been built, and was considered a triumph of engineering. It was the only way to the new village that was their destination. Jane peered out of the window and winced at the drop to the stream far below.

  When they'd left the airport the weather had been sunny, but now the skies grew dark grey and flurries of snow flattened against the windows. Soon they were in a snowstorm, and the coach's windscreen wipers were working at double speed. ‘What do we do if it's snowing like this when we want to go skiing?’ she asked David.

  ‘You've heard of apres-ski? That's in the evening. Well, there's also devant-ski. That's during the day. You just drink and they close the shutters to persuade you that it's night-time. Alternatively, we could just stay in bed. Ow!’

  ‘That's the elbow I use to fend off people who tackle me a little roughly.’ She smiled sweetly. ‘Remember, I'm an outdoor girl. I take my sport seriously. If I can't ski, then I want to do something else.’

  ‘No problem. There's a gym, a swimming pool, a sauna, and a skating rink. For you they'll probably find a boxing ring.’

  She took his hand and squeezed it. ‘After all that I'll really enjoy my apres-ski.’

  They both looked out of the window. All that could be seen were the swirling flakes of snow.

  She had never experienced such luxury as there was at the hotel. The bus stopped under a great wooden canopy. There was a moment of bone-chilling cold as they dashed across to the door, and then all was warm again. There were polished wooden floors and walls, decorative plants, the distant tinkling of a piano and the soft rumble of conversation. This was civilisation, far removed from the starkness of the elements outside.

  They checked in and went up to their room. That too was luxurious, furnished tastefully with flowers, a television, and a mini-bar. Their bags were brought up. ‘We're on holiday, Jane,’ he said.

  She looked out of the heavily glazed window. Outside she could see the blurr
ed outline of mountain peaks – she thought. The relentless snowfall hid it all. What about the vision she'd had of skiing down snowy but sun-drenched slopes? People came back with a suntan after skiing. Not in this. But that was for tomorrow.

  For the first time she felt a touch of unease. In the past, on the few occasions when David and she had … when she had nearly … when they had almost … well, there had been a sort of leading up to it. She could think about it happily now. She loved David and guessed he loved her. But they weren't lovers yet. And she felt a little uneasy.

  In his uncanny way, he guessed what she was thinking. He came up behind her, took her shoulders in his hands and kissed her lightly on the back of the neck. ‘It doesn't matter, sweetheart,’ he said. ‘You're tired, you don't have to make any decisions at all. Look, we even have twin beds.’

  That decided her. ‘We can always push them together,’ she said sturdily.

  There were a couple of hours before dinner was served. They decided to go for a walk to explore the village. ‘It won't take much exploring,’ he told her. ‘There are four hotels, the foundations of a couple more, and a handful of houses. The ski lifts, of course, and a road in and a road out. Up to a couple years ago there was only an old farm or two. This is all new construction.’

  ‘So where does the road out go to?’

  ‘Surprisingly, there's a little village a few kilometres up the valley. That isn't a holiday place, it's an old high farming village. It's called Vallere. And after that … just mountains.’

  ‘Let's go see what we can.’

  He'd advised her what to bring, what to buy, and she wrapped up as he told her. They carried their boots down to the lobby and put them on, sitting on the benches provided. Then they ventured outside.

  It was like walking into a deep freeze with a gale blowing through it. The snowflakes were hard little chips of ice, and they bit into the exposed skin of her face. When she breathed in the cold was dragged into her lungs, chilling her from inside. She put her head down, forced her shoulders into the wind, and they walked to the end of the village. It wasn't far. Then they walked back. They had seen no other walkers. No one else was foolish enough to venture out. David put his arm round her shoulders, stooping to peer into the hood of her anorak. ‘Had enough?’ he bellowed.

  ‘Exercise for today over,’ Jane shouted back. ‘Let's go and get changed.’

  She delighted in the free toiletries that the hotel put out in its bathrooms, this hotel's range being larger than most. A hair drier was also provided, and that too was a blessing.

  Jane had the first bath, then sat in front of the dressing table, blowing and brushing her hair while David bathed. There was still a residual shyness between them, so she had undressed in the bathroom, and when she came out he was in his dressing gown.

  She knew that apres-ski in this hotel was smart. She went to some trouble with her hair, and then put on a sleeveless blue silk top and a long black skirt. David came out of the bathroom in a white shirt and lightweight grey trousers. ‘Jane, you look stunning!’

  ‘You can kiss me a little bit,’ she said. ‘I haven't put on my make-up yet.’

  So he did. And he wasn't going to stop.

  ‘I said kiss me a little bit!’ She looked at her watch. ‘Come on, get your jacket on. We're going to be late for dinner and I'm famished.’

  He shook his head in disbelief. ‘I bring a woman away on a romantic holiday. I kiss her, and what does she say? “We're going to be late for dinner.”’

  ‘A girl needs her strength,’ she told him demurely, and then blushed.

  He put on a floral tie and then his jacket, and they went down to dinner. His suit was the tightest of well-cut grey flannels, and she thought he looked fantastic in it. Other people thought so, too, and she was aware of admiring glances from the women – and some of the men – as they accepted a glass of champagne in the bar.

  At times she was entranced by his good looks, especially since he seemed to think so little of them himself. At other times he was just her David, the man she loved and who loved her, and she was mildly surprised to see other people attracted to him, too.

  Their meal was French, not English. Perhaps some of the ingredients were the same, but the effect was entirely different. There seemed to be a multitude of tiny courses, each one delightful but not entirely filling. ‘It's a big warm plate for such a tiny pie,’ she said as a pastry was put in front of her. It looked rather lonely but it smelled delicious. There were wisps of salad round it, but that was all.

  ‘Just try it,’ he said. ‘Eat it slowly.’

  She did. The pastry was filled with seafood in the most delicate of white sauces. The sharpness of the rocket salad round it made it even tastier. ‘This is so good,’ she mumbled.

  There were wines to go with the meal. Jean-Claude, the maitre d'hotel, had discussed the choice with David. In fact, they'd had a long chat. Then she had been somewhat appalled to find he'd ordered three bottles. ‘We'll never get through those,’ she gasped.

  ‘Don't worry. They'll be re-corked and we can drink them tomorrow night. You don't have to finish a bottle, you know.’

  ‘You do in the parties I've been to,’ she said glumly. But this was different.

  They finished the meal with tiny coffees. Jane was aware that she had enjoyed every mouthful but was not in the least over-full. It had been a wonderful meal. Part of the enjoyment had been because of the efforts of Jean-Claude, who had been all that a maitre d' should have been. Just before their coffees were served they saw a worried-looking waiter whisper to Jean Claude, and then he was gone. ‘The cook's dropped salt in the ice cream,’ she suggested.

  They had a last drink at the bar, chatted to some of the other guests and speculated about the weather the next day. Jane noticed that there were more than a few women who apparently wanted David's opinion. He's mine, she thought smugly. And we're going to bed together soon.

  They were going to part the next day. David was a reasonably expert skier, and he was going to the top, but it had been arranged that Jane should have a couple of lessons on the nursery slopes.

  ‘I'll think I'll stay with you,’ he'd said.

  ‘You'll do no such thing! You'll get on the slopes you're fit for. David, this isn't negotiable — you're skiing while I'm learning!’

  ‘But I want to be with you!’

  ‘We'll be together at night.’

  So they agreed. And she was happy with it.

  He held her hand as they walked up to their bedroom. Once inside he took off his jacket and loosened his tie. Unselfconsciously, she pulled her top over her head and unfastened her skirt. She stepped out of it. She hadn't bothered with tights. Clad solely in new black briefs and bra, she walked over to the window, lifted the blind, and peered out. There was a rustle of clothes behind her. Perhaps David was putting on the grey silk dressing-gown he had thrown on the bed.

  ‘Jane, I think every man in this hotel is envying me now.’

  ‘If they are, every woman is envying me. David, we won't ski in this, will we?’

  He joined her at the window, standing behind her, and looked out. ‘No, we won't ski in this. We'll wait and hope the weather clears.’

  She let the blind drop into place but didn't turn round. She was aware of his body behind hers, close but not touching. His longing for her was so strong that she thought she could feel it. Her own skin pricked with delight and anticipation.

  When he first did touch her she sighed. It was the most gentle of touches, his fingertips straying down the long strands of her hair. He caressed her shoulders, gently kneading the muscles, and his thumbs ran down the long valley of her back.

  She didn't want to turn round, didn't want to do anything. She wanted to be done to. Later, perhaps, she would be a willing and inventive lover, but for now he could do to her what he wished. She knew she was giving him pleasure. There was the warmth of his breath on her back and she could tell by its rapidity how she was exciting him.

>   Deftly, he unclipped her bra then slid the lace garment from her shoulders so that it fell to the floor. Then his hands reached downwards, round her, and gently cupped her breasts. Her breasts were heavy. As his hands held her she felt her skin tauten, the pink tips harden.

  He pulled her back towards him, and she gasped as she realised that he was naked. The fine hair on his chest rasped excitingly on her back, and she was suddenly made more aware of his great need for her. Now she would move. She clutched his hands harder to her and leaned backwards so that all of her body was pressed against his.

  He turned her. Swiftly, almost brutally, his head swooped to hers and she opened her mouth to the force of his kiss. She could feel his urgency, and her own body responded to it. She clutched at his back, pulling herself against him, trying to get even closer to him. She wanted to –

  He lifted his head, and she looked up to see the passion in his face slipping away, to be replaced by anger. Now she too heard what he had – a frenzied knocking on their bedroom door. One thing was certain: someone wasn't going to go away.

  He bent his head to kiss her quickly again. ‘Wait in the bathroom,’ he whispered, and almost unthinkingly she moved towards the door. She saw him stride to the bed to shrug on his dressing gown.

  She hadn't yet unpacked her own dressing gown, but there were complimentary robes in the bathroom so she pulled on one of those. Then she decided she wasn't going to cower there. Whatever it was that was so urgent, she wanted to know about it herself. She walked back into the bedroom.

  David was talking to Jean-Claude. No longer was he dressed in the impeccable black and white of his trade. Instead, he was wearing breeches and the thickest of sweaters. His attire altered his image completely. Now he looked a tough man of the outdoors. And he was worried.

  ‘Pardon, mam'selle, m'sieur, this is an unwarrantable intrusion,’ he said quickly. ‘But you are, I believe, a doctor, a nurse?’

  Jane saw the anger slip from David's face, to be replaced by concern. Now she was worried as well. Only the most dire of emergencies would have caused them to be disturbed in a hotel such as this.