We Shouldn't

by Vi Keeland

  Lucas glanced over at me, and our eyes met for a brief second. Then he reached down and lifted his backpack. He opened the car door and started to climb out, but paused to grumble, “Same.”

  I waited until he walked into school to pull away. I’d been dreading telling him for so many years, but we were going to get through it. It would be slow going to win back his trust, but we were going to do it together.

  And it was the first time I believed maybe, just maybe, I might get through it, too.

  ***

  Where the fuck is she?

  I walked straight to Annalise’s office to tell her about Lucas, but her door was closed. Her light was off, too. I dialed her number again on my way to ask Marina if she’d heard from her today.

  She hadn’t, and my call went to voicemail again.

  By eleven o’clock, I was worried. It was one thing for her to blow me off, but to not show up or call the office? Something wasn’t right. I went by Jonas’s office, but he was in a meeting, so I asked his assistant to have him give me a call as soon as he got out. I must’ve hit redial fifty more times between then and when Jonas finally got out of the conference room.

  He walked into my office without knocking and tossed an envelope on my desk. “You just couldn’t help yourself, could you?” He was pissed.

  “What are you talking about?”

  “I confided in you that the board was going to keep you here. And you just couldn’t wait to rub it in Annalise’s face, could you?”

  I held up both my hands. “I have no idea what you’re talking about. I didn’t tell Annalise anything.”

  “Then what is that letter about?” His eyes pointed down to the envelope.

  I opened it and read.

  Dear Jonas,

  Please accept this as my letter of resignation and two weeks’ notice that I will be leaving the position of Creative Director for Foster, Burnett and Wren. While I have enjoyed my time working for you and appreciate the opportunity you afforded me, I have decided to remain in the San Francisco area and pursue other opportunities.

  Thank you.

  Annalise O’Neil

  I held the paper out to him. “What the hell is this?”

  “Seems to me like a resignation.”

  “When did she give this to you? Why would she resign?”

  Jonas put his hands on his hips. “I assume she resigned because she wants to remain in the San Francisco area—like she wrote in her letter. But no one except the two of us knew she was the one who’d be relocated. She had to have found out that information somehow.”

  “Well, it wasn’t from me. She gave this to you this morning?”

  “I found it in her drawer when I went in to look for the files I needed to cover the meeting she didn’t show up for today.”

  Something wasn’t right. Annalise wouldn’t just quit. Even if she were pissed, she wouldn’t not show up for a scheduled client meeting. She took pride in the way she handled herself, always fair and professional. And why wouldn’t she talk to me about something like this?

  I re-read the letter one more time and then dropped it on my desk and grabbed my jacket off the back of my chair. “I gotta go.”

  I was at the door to my office before Jonas could object. “Where are you going?” he yelled after me.

  “To figure out what the hell is going on.”

  ***

  “Annalise?” I banged on her door again, even though I was pretty sure she wasn’t home. I’d rung every bell until someone buzzed me in the front door and then bolted to her apartment before I got kicked out. Her car wasn’t parked on the block, and no sound came from inside. Yet I banged louder.

  Eventually, the neighbor across the hall opened his door. He cradled a cat in his arms the way most people would cradle a baby. “I don’t think she came home last night.”

  “Oh?”

  He scratched at the cat’s belly, and the thing purred loudly. “She was supposed to feed Frick and Frack for me last night. I left the cans on the table, but they’re still there.” He looked down at the cat and spoke to it, rather than me. “Mr. Frick here has forgiven me, but Mr. Frack won’t even come out of his room. I’m lucky my flight this morning wasn’t delayed or my babies would have starved.”

  Starved? I shook my head. Whatever. “When was the last time you spoke to her?”

  “Yesterday morning when I gave her my key.”

  I turned and started back toward the stairs without saying another word. The cat freak yelled after me.

  “When you see her, tell her she owes Frick and Frack an apology.”

  Yeah. That’ll be the first thing we discuss.

  I sat in my car outside of her apartment building double-parked, trying to figure out what the hell had happened. She hadn’t come home last night and had quit without ever even discussing it with me?

  Actually, she had mentioned work the other night. Well, sort of. She’d asked if I thought we’d be together next year if one of us weren’t forced to relocate to Texas. And I’d said no. I knew I’d hurt her, but was she so upset with me that she’d up and quit without even letting me know?

  I hadn’t thought so.

  Although…

  She had been quiet the other night. I’d even asked her a few times if everything was okay. She’d said she was just nervous about her Pet Supplies presentation. My gut thought something more was bothering her. Now that I thought about it, she’d been quiet ever since that call from her mother. I hadn’t pushed.

  Was it a coincidence that she’d had dinner with her ex’s sister last night? Maybe it reminded her that all men were assholes.

  Even so, she would have at least come home last night.

  Unless…

  I shook my head. No, she wouldn’t go there. She sees what a douche that guy is now.

  Doesn’t she?

  But where the fuck did she sleep last night?

  I started my car and dug my phone out of my pocket. No missed calls. No missed texts. Frustrated, I hit redial again before heading back to the office. Maybe she’d shown up at work while I was gone. We’d probably passed each other on the highway. She’d crashed at Lauren and Trent’s house last night and her cell phone had died. It had been raining pretty hard, and she didn’t like to drive to begin with. It made sense.

  Yeah, that’s what happened.

  Deciding that had to be it, I tossed my phone on the passenger seat and put my car in drive, forgetting I’d already hit re-dial. Which was why I was confused when a man’s voice came through the speakers of my car.

  “Hello?”

  I furrowed my brow, waiting for the rest of the commercial on the radio.

  “Hello?” the voice said again.

  The illuminated cell phone on the seat next to me caught my attention. Shit. My cell had connected through my Bluetooth and was coming through my car. But who the hell did I accidentally call?

  “Who is this?” I asked.

  “Andrew. Who is this?”

  I froze. What the fuck? Lifting the cell phone to look at it, I confirmed Annalise’s name on the screen, and the call timer underneath was ticking away the seconds.

  “Where’s Annalise?”

  “She’s in bed. Sleeping. Can I help you with something?”

  The blood in my veins started to boil. “Yeah. Put Annalise on the goddamn phone!”

  “Excuse me?”

  “You heard me. Put Annalise on the phone.”

  Click.

  “Hello?”

  Silence.

  I screamed louder. “Hello?”

  The asshole had hung up on me.

  Fuck.

  Fuck.

  “Fuuuuuck.”

  I hit redial. The phone didn’t even ring this time, just went right to voicemail. So I hit redial again.

  Then again.

  Then again.

  I called over and over. But it kept going straight to voicemail. The fucker was either hitting reject call, or he’d turned her phone off. Eithe
r way, he was keeping me from talking to Annalise.

  Chapter 47

  * * *

  Bennett

  I sat at my desk for hours, going through all the emotions.

  Pissed.

  How could she fucking do that to me…to us? Didn’t she know how I felt about her?

  No. She doesn’t.

  Why? Because I was too much of a pussy to tell her.

  Denial.

  There was probably a perfectly logical explanation for this. Maybe she’d met with Andrew for a business meeting—something related to Pet Supplies & More. Maybe Lauren had pulled her brother into the loop and wanted Annalise to show her presentation to him this morning.

  Yeah. That was probably it.

  Except she’d been in bed when he answered her fucking phone.

  In his fucking bed.

  Not mine, where she should’ve been.

  Why? Because I was too much of a pussy to admit I was afraid to give things between us a real shot. She’d been brave enough to ask me the goddamn question. Yet I’d taken the cowardly way out.

  I kept replaying the conversation we’d had the other night

  “If things were different between us, would we be here a year from now?”

  And my bullshit response. “No. Because I like being single. I like my freedom and not having to answer to anyone or have any responsibilities.”

  Well, you got what you asked for, dickhead.

  Bargaining.

  If I could just talk to her, I could fix it. I knew she had feelings for me; I could see it in her eyes—the way it hurt her when I told her we wouldn’t be together a year from now, even if things were different at work.

  I’d been trying to convince myself I liked my freedom, when all along I never wanted to let go of her.

  Because I was afraid.

  Fucking pussy.

  I needed to talk to her—go over to that douchebag’s apartment and kick his ass, if that’s what it took to see her. She’d give me a chance. What we had was real.

  Wasn’t it?

  How the fuck would I know? I’d never had anything real in my life except the way she made me feel.

  We could separate by a thousand miles—one of us in Texas and the other here—but it wouldn’t matter. Because physical distance wouldn’t change what was in my heart.

  In my heart.

  Fuck.

  My head fell back against my chair, and I looked up at the ceiling of my office, blowing out a deep breath.

  I’m in love with her.

  In.

  Fucking.

  Love.

  How the hell did this happen?

  I haven’t loved a woman since…

  Sophie.

  And look what happened the last time I got close to a woman. Sophie didn’t get a chance to feel what it was like to be loved back. Why should I get to?

  I didn’t deserve to be loved by a woman like Annalise.

  I didn’t deserve Sophie’s love.

  I didn’t deserve to have Lucas’s love either.

  Yet somehow he gave it to me. And I was selfish enough to take it.

  My mind kept jumping all over the place.

  Annalise had feelings for me; I knew that somewhere deep in my black heart.

  But I hadn’t done a damn thing to show her how I felt.

  I needed to tell her, but more than that, I needed to show her.

  Her damn ex had said one thing and done another for years. If I had any chance of fighting for her, she needed to see I had more than words.

  I just hoped it wasn’t too late.

  ***

  Jonas had been getting ready to leave for the night when I knocked on his door. But he put down his briefcase since I planted my ass in a chair across from him anyway.

  He sat, took off his glasses, and rubbed his eyes. “What’s going on, Bennett?”

  I shook my head. “I fucked up with Annalise.”

  Jonas blew out a deep breath. “What did you do?”

  “Don’t worry. It’s nothing you might be thinking. I didn’t sabotage her presentation or cheat in anyway. And I didn’t tell her about the decision with our positions.”

  He nodded. “Okay. So what happened?”

  “You know that no-fraternization policy we have?”

  Jonas closed his eyes and frowned. I didn’t need to say more.

  “So you won the job, but lost the girl.”

  “I got it backward.”

  “How are you going to fix it?”

  I thought I’d be nervous, but I suddenly felt calm. Slipping the envelope from the inside of my suit jacket, I leaned forward and set it on Jonas’s desk. He glanced down at it and then up at me, smiling sadly.

  “I’m guessing this is your resignation?”

  I nodded.

  “Have you spoken to Annalise?”

  “I haven’t been able to reach her.”

  “And yet you’re handing me this right now, anyway? What if you lose the job but still can’t get the girl back?”

  I stood. “That’s not an option.”

  Jonas opened his drawer and took out the envelope containing Annalise’s resignation. He extended it to me. “Top left drawer of her desk. Sitting right on top. I never found this.”

  I exchanged my letter for hers. “Thanks, Jonas.”

  “Hope you get the girl.”

  “You and me both, boss. You and me both.”

  ***

  I’d filled her voicemail. Now every time I called, it just went straight to a message saying the phone number I’d reached could no longer accept messages. I blew out a ragged breath and leaned my forehead against the steering wheel. I’d been sitting in front of her house since four-thirty. It was almost eight now, and there was still no sign of her. I grew more and more anxious by the minute. But eventually she’d have to come home.

  I waited what seemed like forever. Every time a flash of light started down the road, I’d grow impatient to see if it was her car. But each one passed right on by. Until finally a set of headlights in the rearview mirror slowed and pulled into the empty spot behind me. But I was disappointed again, finding a Toyota logo on an SUV. Not her.

  My shoulders slumped. A minute later, the headlights turned off, and I heard the sound of a door opening and closing. A man had gotten out of the SUV and was heading toward the door of Annalise’s building. At first I thought nothing of it. But then a dog barked, and the guy turned his head, giving me a glimpse of his profile. My heart started to pound. He looked a hell of a lot like Annalise’s stepfather, Matteo.

  Rolling down the passenger window, I leaned over and called his name. “Matteo?”

  The man turned. It took a few seconds for him to register who I was, but then he started toward me as I stepped out of the car. “Bennett?”

  I nodded. “Do you know where Annalise is?”

  “The hospital. Her mother, she stay with her. I just come to get some of her things.”

  “Hospital?” I felt sick. “What happened?”

  Matteo frowned. “You don’t know? She had a very bad car accident.”

  Chapter 48

  * * *

  Annalise

  My eyes fluttered open at the commotion. They felt so heavy. Just like my arms and legs.

  An alarm I’d been hearing off in the distance started to beep louder. A woman in blue walked up next to me and did something, and the annoying sound silenced. I heard her speak, but it sounded muffled, as if I was underwater and she wasn’t.

  “She needs her rest. If you two are going to upset her, I’m going to have security show you both to the door.”

  I heard a man’s voice mumble something, or maybe it was more than one man’s voice, I couldn’t be sure. If I could just kick my feet a little bit, I could probably reach the surface and hear better. I tried to kick, but couldn’t get enough momentum going. The woman in blue put her hands on my legs, stopping the little movement I’d managed to muster.

  “Shhh. You rest
, Miss Annalise. Don’t let these boys upset you. God gave this nurse a mouth and a lot of back to toss visitors out when necessary.”

  A nurse. She was a nurse.

  I tried to speak, but my mouth was covered. I lifted my arm to grab whatever was blocking it, but couldn’t get it higher than an inch or two off the bed. The nurse moved closer and brought her face close to mine.

  She had curly black hair, dark chocolate eyes, and lipstick on her front tooth when she smiled. “You’re in the hospital.” She stroked my hair. “There’s a mask over your mouth so you can breathe easier, and drugs are making you feel sleepy. Do you understand?”

  I nodded a little.

  She flashed her teeth again, and I stared at the lipstick. Someone should really tell her.

  “You have two visitors, Miss Annalise. Your parents, and your friends are here, too. They’re out in the waiting room. Do you want me to tell these boys to let you rest?”

  I slanted my eyes to the other side of the bed, and two faces leaned over.

  Bennett?

  Andrew?

  I looked back at the woman and shook my head.

  “How about we have them visit with you one at a time?”

  I nodded my head.

  She spoke to the men and then to me again.

  “Do you want Andrew to visit right now?”

  I moved my eyes to see his face, then looked back at the nurse and shook my head.

  She smiled. “Good. Because the other one looked like he might rip my head off if I made him leave.”

  A minute later, Bennett was at my side, his face right where the woman’s had been. He took my hand in his; it was so warm and held my fingers so tight.

  “Hey.” He leaned down and kissed my forehead. My eyes locked onto his. “There’s my beautiful girl. Are you in pain?”

  Pain? I didn’t think so. I couldn’t even feel my toes. I shook my head.

  “I spoke to your mom. She said you’re going to be fine. Do you remember the accident?”

  I shook my head.

  “You had a car accident. There was a storm and a lot of rain, and the merge to the highway made you hydroplane.”