Offed Stage Left

by Joanne Sydney Lessner

  Isobel searched his eyes for any hint of accusation, but his expression was sincere. He leaned in closer. “Even with no rehearsal, you’re going to be better than Arden.” He took her arm and led her onstage to the gazebo. She glanced over her shoulder at Sunil and Hugh, who nodded encouragingly.

  Ten minutes flew past, and Isobel found that putting her body through the motions with Chris calmed her. When the curtain rose again, Isobel and Chris were greeted by loud cheering and applause. They began at the top of the scene and got another big hand after the duet. Isobel glanced down at the pit, where Hugh was beaming at her. He blew her a kiss, which she acknowledged with a flutter of her eyelids. Before she knew it, they were up to the act one finale, and when the curtain came down for intermission, the cast flocked to congratulate her, any residual suspicion eclipsed by relief that the show was going on.

  Isobel returned to her dressing room and found her phone buzzing with a string of text messages from Delphi. She picked it up, scrolled through, and shrieked.

  “What is it?” Talia asked, alarmed.

  “My best friend is here! She came up from the city to surprise me.”

  Talia eyed her curiously. “You really didn’t know she was coming?”

  “What?” Isobel looked up. “No! I had no idea. She told me she couldn’t get off work, but now she says it’s a long story.” She scrolled further and gasped. “She’s sitting next to that theater columnist from the New York Post. The obnoxious one, you know who I mean.”

  “No, I don’t,” said Talia coolly. “I’m an opera singer.”

  “Yes, you do. Roman Fried.” Isobel stared at the ceiling. “I wonder what brought him up here?”

  “Hmmm.”

  “What?”

  “I just think it’s funny, that’s all.”

  A warning bell went off in Isobel’s brain. “What’s funny?”

  Talia looked squarely at her. “Arden gets sick, you’re totally ready to jump in, and your best friend and some theater critic from New York are here. Oh, and the Donnelly Group. With all the stuff that’s been going on, it starts to look a little fishy, you know?”

  “No, I don’t know.” Isobel felt her neck burn with anger. “I can’t believe you would suggest that I hurt Arden so I could, what…play a slightly less shitty part in a shitty show?”

  There was a knock on the door, and Thomas poked his head in, holding Arden’s second-act costume, an emerald green off-the-shoulder evening gown.

  “It’s going to be big on you, but I took it up a few inches so at least you won’t trip.” He looked from Isobel to Talia. “Did I interrupt something?”

  Isobel found her voice first. “No, it’s all right. Come in.”

  She started to unbutton her bodice but found her fingers were trembling.

  “Here, let me do that. You must be a bundle of nerves.”

  Talia let out a disgusted snort and pushed past Thomas out of the dressing room.

  “What’s up her ass?” Thomas asked.

  Isobel held out her arms and let Thomas’s quick fingers fly over the restricting buttons.

  “She thinks I engineered Arden fainting so I could go on for her.”

  Thomas pulled back and locked eyes with Isobel. “Did you?”

  “Why does everyone think I’m responsible for what happened to Arden, just because I’m doing the job I was hired for?”

  “You pulled the masking down on her,” Thomas reminded her.

  “It was an accident! Besides, I’m scared of heights. No way could I ever go up to the flies to mess with it, if I even knew how.”

  “And I heard someone put Ex-Lax in the coffee.”

  “Which Arden didn’t drink. And the problem with the orchestra parts didn’t affect her any more than the rest of us.”

  “If you didn’t do anything, then you have nothing to worry about,” Thomas placated her.

  She wriggled out of her bodice and turned so Thomas could undo her skirt. “I can’t believe anyone would think I would hurt Arden.”

  “Girls are jealous bitches. You don’t need me to tell you that.”

  “I hope Arden is going to be okay. Honestly,” Isobel said.

  He patted her shoulder. “Of course you do, honey.”

  Isobel stepped into the gown. Thomas pulled it up and fastened it.

  “It’s beautiful.”

  “Nothing but the best for the leading lady. Whoever she may be. Ready for act two?”

  Isobel exhaled. “Bring it.”

  Thomas pulled open the door, startling Felicity and Kelly, who were standing there about to knock, faces ashen.

  Isobel’s stomach dropped. “I was nervous! I promise it’ll get better the more I do it.”

  “You’ll have plenty of chances,” Felicity said in a tight voice. “Heather called from the hospital. Arden is dead.”

  ELEVEN

  IT TOOK EVERY OUNCE of Isobel’s concentration to get through the second act. She hadn’t put nearly as much preparation into it as the first, and Ezra had to throw her a few lines from the wings. But every time Isobel started to relax into the role, the image of Kelly’s stricken face and the tone of Felicity’s clipped announcement outside her dressing room door intruded, reminding her of the awful turn of events that made her both leading lady and prime suspect, should Arden’s death prove to be from anything other than natural causes.

  She also wasn’t sure who else knew yet, and she floated through the rest of the show in a surreal haze, hoping she would wake to find it was all a bizarre dream caused by too many pizza-flavored Goldfish before bed. On the other hand, Thomas had been with her when the news was delivered, which meant by the finale, everybody would know. But Isobel decided, as she watched Marissa overact her scream upon finding Sousa dead in his hotel room, that she wouldn’t believe Arden’s death was real until she heard it from someone else.

  “I’ve been waiting to tell you until you finished your last scene,” Sunil whispered in her ear, “but Thomas just told me…Arden is dead.”

  So much for that.

  Isobel clutched his hand. “Felicity told me at intermission. I was trying to put it out of my mind.”

  “She told you at intermission?” Sunil asked. “That’s terrible. It’s not like you didn’t have enough on your mind. She’s lucky it didn’t throw you off your game.”

  “It almost did. But in some ways it made me focus more. Of course I’ll probably totally fall apart as soon as the curtain comes down.”

  Sunil managed a wry smile. “Just the fact that you’re able to say that means you won’t. And besides, you still have to go out there and greet your adoring public. Come on.”

  She followed him onstage, reminding herself to take Arden’s position rather than her own for the “Stars and Stripes” finale.

  We loved you, but now you are gone.

  How we’ll miss you, dear John Philip Sousa!

  In your marches your legend lives on,

  That conclusion is now foregone.

  You may think that this is the end,

  Of this red, white, and blue lollapalooza.

  To this country, you’ve been a great friend—

  Raise a baton and carry on for JP Sousa!

  Chris bounded onstage from the wings and took Isobel’s hand, and together they led the cast in a company bow. As they came up, he leaned over and kissed her cheek. He lingered for a moment and whispered, “I wish you were playing Jennie for real.”

  “I am now,” Isobel said as they stepped back to make way for the curtain to come down.

  “What do you mean?”

  “Arden is dead.”

  The curtain went up to polite applause, and they stepped forward again. Isobel bowed, but Chris stayed upright. As soon as the curtain came down again, he wrenched his hand free and ran offstage left. Isobel took Arden’s spot in the wings stage right and watched as the ensemble came together and took their bow in a line. She tried to catch Chris’s eye across the stage, but he was pacing in a tight
circle, running his hand over his pomaded hair. Sunil went out without her, and then Talia took her bow, laying her hand across her heart with a level of false modesty rarely seen even at the Metropolitan Opera. Then Isobel stepped out for her curtain call.

  She was greeted by a thunderous ovation, and several people in the audience jumped to their feet. For a sublime moment, all her worries vanished, and she soaked up the adulation knowing she had delivered a better performance than anyone would expect from an understudy who’d had no rehearsal, especially given the unfortunate circumstances. Chris joined her and bowed mechanically, evidencing no enjoyment of the applause. She remembered to gesture to Hugh in the pit, and she blew him a kiss for good measure. Then one more company bow, and the final curtain came down.

  Everyone was hugging and congratulating each other. Sunil picked Isobel up and spun her around.

  “You sure showed me! I guess I’d better start studying up.”

  He set her down and met Chris’s stormy eyes.

  “Are you planning to get rid of me, too?” Chris spat.

  “What?”

  “Arden is dead. Am I next?”

  “God, no! I didn’t mean that at all.” Sunil held his arms out helplessly. “Nothing better happen to you, because I haven’t learned your part!”

  “Yet.” Chris stalked off.

  Isobel bit her lip. “I shouldn’t have been the one to tell him.”

  Suddenly, Felicity was there, with Jethro, Ezra, Kelly, and a tall, stooped balding man in a suit whom Isobel had never seen before.

  “May I have your attention.” Felicity raised her hands and voice simultaneously. “I’d like the entire company onstage, please.”

  The stage crowded with people. Isobel saw Hugh waving to her from the wings, but she had no path to him.

  “As you are all aware, Arden collapsed onstage tonight,” Felicity continued when everyone had assembled. “Paramedics took her to Albany Medical Center, but they were not able to revive her. I’m sorry to report that she has died.”

  Witnessing the shrieks and gasps of her fellow actors, Isobel realized that except for telling Sunil, Thomas had been the soul of discretion. She glanced apologetically at Chris, but his gaze remained fixed on the floor.

  “We don’t yet know the cause of death, but as soon as Arden’s family is notified and I have that information, I will tell you what I can. I want to introduce Magnus Carlsson, president of the board of directors of Livingston Stage, who would like to say a few words.

  The tall, balding man stepped forward and cleared his throat.

  “I realize this is an unspeakable tragedy and a shock for everyone,” he said, “and I want you all to know that we will provide whatever support you need to get through this difficult time.”

  “Which means what, exactly?” Sunil whispered to Isobel. “Counseling?”

  “But I also want to remind everybody of that old theatrical saw: the show must go on. Livingston Stage has invested a significant amount of time and money into this project, and we believe strongly in its future. Tonight’s performance was outstanding. You all pulled together, and Isobel Spice in particular came through. Let’s give her a round of applause.”

  As much as Isobel relished praise, this was the worst possible thing the interloper could have done. She looked down at her boots rather than face her fellow actors, knowing she would see only resentment and suspicion. After the awkward moment passed, she dared look up again. Chris was watching her, and when she caught his eye, he shook his head and turned away.

  “So we will forge ahead, honoring Arden’s memory with our humble offering to the theater gods, which, if tonight’s performance is any indication, will be received with affection and open arms. Thank you, all.”

  “And no more sacrifices, we hope,” Sunil said under his breath. “Who is this doofus?”

  “I don’t know, but I wish he hadn’t done that. The collective consciousness doesn’t need any more ammunition against me,” Isobel said.

  They made their way toward Hugh, who hung to the side to wait for them while the others passed. He swept Isobel into a fierce embrace.

  “What a night. Are you all right?”

  “I think so. It’s terrible about Arden. I don’t know what to say.”

  “I know. It’s unthinkable. But you were a champ.”

  “You were, too.” She kissed him. “Thanks for getting me through the show.”

  “Nonsense, it was entirely your doing. All I did was wave my arms like I always do.”

  “Hugh?” Kelly called. “Can you come here?”

  “Go on,” Isobel said. “We’ll find you after.”

  Hugh joined Kelly and Ezra, while Isobel and Sunil regarded each other in silence.

  “What do you really think happened to Arden?” Sunil asked.

  “I have no idea,” Isobel said. “I was watching from the wings, but I didn’t notice anything strange. She just collapsed.”

  “I wonder what it looked like from the house,” Sunil said. “If only there were someone we could ask.”

  Isobel gasped and grabbed his arm. “There is! Meet me in the lobby after you change. I have a little surprise for you.”

  TWELVE

  “YOU WERE AMAZING!” Delphi threw her arms around Isobel. “But oh my God, this is terrible.”

  “I know,” Isobel said. “Poor Arden.”

  Delphi released her. “I mean the show. It’s an absolute piece of shit.”

  For a moment, Delphi was afraid she’d said the wrong thing, but then Isobel’s expression changed.

  “I did warn you,” Isobel said.

  “Do you think Arden will recover?”

  Isobel’s eyes widened. “You haven’t heard? She’s dead.”

  “Well, aren’t you a sight for sore eyes!” Sunil caught Delphi in a strong hug.

  “What?” Delphi screeched.

  “And a sound for sore ears.” He thrust a knuckle into his ear. “Thanks for that.”

  Still reeling from Isobel’s bombshell, Delphi held him more tightly than she normally would have. When she pulled away, she saw surprise register on his face.

  “Isobel just told me about Arden,” she said, explaining the screech and the hug, both fairly out of character for her.

  “Did she tell you about the other stuff?” Sunil asked.

  “What other stuff?” Delphi groaned. “Why is there always ‘other stuff’?”

  “There’s time for that later,” Isobel said. “But what made you decide to come? I can’t tell you how much better I felt about everything when I saw your texts.”

  “Oh, well, I…I lost my job.”

  “What?” Isobel cried. “But I thought Carlo adored you!”

  “Um, yeah, that was the problem. I’ll tell you more later.” Delphi snuck a sideways glance at Sunil. Isobel, hoping to deter Carlo’s outrageous flirtations, had once told him Sunil was Delphi’s boyfriend. Even after Delphi reassured Carlo countless times, he never quite believed her, and the whole thing had remained a sore subject between her and Isobel. She really did not want to discuss the matter in front of Sunil.

  “Can I crash with you tonight?” Delphi asked.

  “There’s a couch in the living room, or we can throw some pillows on the floor of my room. How long are you staying?”

  “Hadn’t thought about it,” Delphi said. “This whole trip was a bit of an impulse purchase.”

  “There you are! I went upstairs, but—” Hugh stopped short. “Hail, hail, the gang’s all here! Hello, Delphi.”

  Delphi gave Hugh a nice long hug with no qualms. The more time she spent with Hugh, the more she liked him. She sometimes wondered whether Isobel fully appreciated the quality of the catch she’d landed.

  “I hate to interrupt this happy reunion, but Felicity asked me to fetch you, Isobel.”

  “Stay here, you two. I won’t be long.”

  Isobel returned to the theater through the main doors, Hugh’s arm slung protectively around her shoulders
. As soon as they were out of sight, Delphi whirled on Sunil.

  “I’m counting on you to tell me what’s going on around here. Other stuff. And…go.”

  Sunil tsked. “All business. No ‘It’s great to see you’ or even, God forbid, ‘You were really good in the show.’”

  Delphi bit her lip, mortified. “Sorry. There’s such a swirl of information, I can’t keep up. You were terrific.” She smiled mischievously. “I particularly liked your Pawnee chief.”

  “Argh, never mind. I’m going back to your original question.” He led Delphi over to one of the upholstered benches. “There’s been a series of pranks leading up to tonight. We think someone is trying to sabotage the show.”

  “I’d have thought the show was doing a fine job of that all by itself,” Delphi responded. “But go on. What happened?”

  “First some masking fell on Arden, and unfortunately, Isobel was moving it aside for her when it came down.”

  “Ouch.”

  “And then half the company got an incapacitating case of the runs during tech after drinking from the same pot of coffee in the green room. At least we’re pretty sure that’s what did it.”

  “Sousa’s revenge?”

  “Considering the mess we’re making of his life story, he’s well within his rights,” Sunil concurred. “Anyway, the first thing could have been accidental and the second coincidental. But not the third thing.”

  “What was that?”

  His tone grew more serious. “Someone tampered with the orchestra parts before the dress rehearsal. Adding new cuts, erasing old ones, something different in each part. It was a complete mess. Hugh had to spend the whole rehearsal fixing them, so tonight was our first time doing the whole show with the orchestra.”

  Delphi took this in. “Definitely not accidental. Though I have to give the person props for creativity.”

  “And now Arden. If her death wasn’t from natural causes, this all becomes sinister in a whole new way.”