Co-Ed

by Rachel Van Dyken

  Not this bitch!

  “How do you know him?” Alexa finally found words ten minutes later.

  “I don’t,” I said truthfully.

  She stopped walking. “They don’t just approach people, not in public at least. One time a girl tried talking to Finn in line at the Apple store, and he straight-up ignored her for twenty minutes. She tried again a day later, and his eyes glazed over as he said, ‘Who are you?’”

  Ouch, that had to have hurt. I winced. “That’s rough.”

  “Rough?” Alexa repeated. “She was devastated.”

  “How do they stay in business?” I wondered out loud.

  “I’m telling you, drugs!” she hissed. “Okay, I need to go to class. I’ll see you tonight!”

  I didn’t have the heart to tell her that I lived across the suite from them, or that we’d have to lock our door, just in case.

  Yeah, I was so going to have to buy a rape horn or something irritating. It was the only way to keep my head sane.

  And my heart safe.

  Chapter Four

  Knox

  “What are you two dipshits doing?” I was bored as fuck, going through our schedule for the next two weeks. Same girl, same girl, same girl, same guy, same grandma — the hell? I thought she died? I shook my head; it didn’t help with the pulsing or the boredom. Four more months and I was out of this place; four more months and I could focus on my internship with Wingman, Inc.

  They’d trusted me with this.

  And I was going to see it through.

  I busted my ass for that company, made an insane salary, and was being groomed all through college for a future job. I just had to suffer a little while longer.

  A text came through.

  Unknown: I’ll pay you five hundred dollars for a nude shot.

  Me: Lose this number. That’s not what this business is about.

  Unknown: A thousand.

  I groaned and tossed my phone onto the desk; I pressed my palms against my head in an effort to get the ache to go away.

  “Guys?” Did they leave?

  They were taking turns spying on God knows what in the shared living room. I finally got up and shoved them out of the way, pulled the door open, and scowled.

  There she was.

  The girl from last night.

  The one both guys wouldn’t shut up about.

  Apparently, she was walking, talking sex with wild hair, olive skin, and a banging body. And according to Leo, breasts that he wanted to die between.

  I wasn’t interested.

  I was actually surprised they were.

  They didn’t date. They did their damn jobs day in and day out, and when they wanted sex, they went off campus. We didn’t mix business with pleasure.

  Ever.

  Her light brown eyes locked with mine.

  I grunted.

  Then slammed the door not quite hard enough to bring it off the hinges.

  “What the hell, man?” Finn laughed. “You trying to scare her away?”

  “No,” I said through my gritted teeth. “I think that was all Leo this morning during shower time.”

  Leo just laughed. “You should have seen her strip. So fast, I’m surprised she didn’t chip a tooth against the tile and end up ass backwards with her feet in the air. So damn cute.” His face fell. “Sometimes I miss it, the innocent ones.”

  “They are all innocent,” Finn piped up. “Honestly, we’re the ones who ruin them.”

  “Shut the hell up!” Leo snapped. “And any girl who pays us to massage her while we brush her hair and talk about My Little Pony is hella innocent.”

  I shuddered. She was our regular. And she terrified me. One of us brushed her hair, one massaged, and one held the pony.

  Fucking. Weird.

  But she paid well, and that was our job. Wasn’t it?

  Always please.

  Never penetrate.

  Holy shit, what kind of hell hole am I in?

  I didn’t realize I was groaning out loud until Leo tossed me a pillow and said, “Just in case you need to get a good scream in.”

  I caught it midair then slammed it against the floor. “I don’t need to scream. I need this semester to be over.”

  Finn grinned stupidly. “I know what’s wrong.”

  “We’re paid escorts who don’t get to have sex?” I said out loud. “People think we’re selling drugs? Or how about the last dude that came up in here that thought we were going to offer a ménage?”

  “Hey, at least he was attractive.” Leo shrugged. “And people always to get the wrong idea about us. So what? We make bank, and for the most part every customer leaves happy, satisfied, and dreaming about the next time they can sign over hundreds of dollars to spend time in our company.”

  It wasn’t that it felt wrong.

  I was just tired of doing the grunt work.

  I was tired of pretending.

  “You need to get laid,” Leo said quietly. “Too much touching, not enough boinking.”

  “Say ‘boinking’ again, and I’m not speaking to you for a month,” I grumbled.

  Finn just shrugged and pointed. “What about new girl across the way? She’s beautiful. I think it’s been established that her breasts are fluffy pillows of ecstasy, and she’s funny — double bonus.”

  “Breasts and comedy? Gee, where do I sign up?” I said in a sarcastic voice.

  “The hell?” Finn shook his head. “Did you just say, ‘gee’?”

  I gave him the finger and stood.

  “And Leo has a point. Just get in and out, maybe twice. First time will be too quick anyway since it’s been a while—”

  I growled.

  “Then you’ll have that winning attitude on lockdown.”

  “Be honest. I’ve never had a winning attitude,” I whispered under my breath.

  They fell silent.

  Shit. I’d done it again.

  Mentioned what I swore we would never talk about.

  Any of us.

  We’d been friends since freshman year. I’d recruited them after the masterminds behind the Pacific Northwest’s biggest dating service recruited me, and the rest was history.

  Money had started piling in. Who knew how many broken hearts existed in our sad pathetic world? And let’s just say, lucrative was an understatement.

  The sound of the communal microwave went off as the smell of something burning filled the air. I was out of the room before anyone could stop me and stomping over to the microwave with loud, purposeful steps that probably sounded, to the people a floor below us, like an elephant was going for a run.

  I jerked the popcorn out of the microwave and cursed just as the girl — fine, I knew her name — just as Shawn ran out of her room and gasped.

  I dangled it in the space between us as my completely unamused expression stared down her embarrassed one, and I bet my soul, and hers, that Finn and Leo were watching the entire exchange.

  Hell, they were probably taking bets.

  I tilted my head. “This yours?”

  She hesitated, giving me time to take in her short, black sleep shorts and almost nonexistent white tank top. At least she was wearing a bra, though it just made the whole situation worse since it was pushing her tits together like they wanted to invite someone in for a good time. “Yes.”

  “Just, yes?”

  She frowned. “Yes, that’s my popcorn?”

  “This isn’t popcorn. It’s not even edible.” I gave the bag a shake. “Do you really think you should be in college if you can’t even work a microwave?”

  Her face fell then she scowled. “I refuse to be insulted by some guy who has longer hair than me and clearly has a scissor phobia.”

  Stunned, I just stared her down. “I’d be very careful what comes next out of that mouth of yours.”

  She grinned, stuck out a pink tongue that had my entire body tightening then sauntered over to me, grabbed the burnt popcorn, opened the damn bag, and said, “Thanks for your help. Next
time I’ll be sure to share.”

  It wasn’t as burnt as I’d thought.

  Was it edible? No.

  Was she? Hell, yes, and my body was already chiming in on that fact. Blood thundered through my veins, sending every ounce of strength south.

  I crossed my arms and leaned in. “Oh, I’m all about sharing.”

  “Clearly.” She eyed my door.

  I refused to turn around.

  “I bet you’re very giving…”

  “Care to find out?” I moved closer. What the hell was I doing? It was like my mouth had taken control of my body, and my body was cheering it on while my brain just rolled over and died.

  Her eyes fell to my lips then slowly she looked her fill, from my feet all the way back up. Her chest rose and fell. I knew that look. Her heart was racing, her thighs quivering. Ten seconds. I could get her off in ten seconds. Maybe six.

  “Nah.” She finally shrugged. “I think I’ll just stick to my popcorn and Netflix.”

  “Hurry the hell up!” Slater yelled from the room then opened the door, took in our exchange, and paled. “Shawn… back away from the man whore… slowly. If you walk too fast, they take it as a challenge and pounce.”

  “Bite me!” I snapped at him.

  Someone I used to call friend.

  Someone I didn’t want to see but had no choice to communicate with since we’d been wrongly placed in the same college suite in the same dorm.

  He flipped me off.

  I was too focused on Slater to notice that Shawn had actually listened to the dipshit and was already safely back in her room.

  The door clicked shut.

  I heard Leo’s low whistle first, followed by Finn’s slow clap. I turned and glared. I had no words. Maybe it was the pounding headache, but I’d never been turned down by a woman, man — human. They all wanted me, or something from me. So, I was about as angry as I was confused and in utter shock that she’d just turned around and walked away as if I wasn’t everyone’s perfect brand of drug.

  “Shit, you look more confused than Finn does in Human Anatomy,” Leo mused while Finn rolled his eyes. “Did she just… reject the great Knox Tate?”

  “Maybe she was busy,” Finn added.

  “Washing her hair?” Leo snorted with laughter while I wondered how much trouble I would get into if I pushed them out the three-story windows in our shared dorm room.

  “Forget it.” I stomped past them and went back to work, back to the texts, back to the schedule.

  Back to my own personal hell.

  Chapter Five

  Shawn

  I was eating burnt popcorn. Drinking lukewarm Diet Coke.

  And dreaming about the ice in the freezer that I refused to walk back to, especially if the tall one was standing there guarding it like a prison guard.

  I chomped harder on the popcorn and must have growled or something because Alexa started giving me a side-eye as if I was the problem, when everything wrong with the universe was living across the shared space.

  “Taking out your frustration on the popcorn?” she asked.

  I stopped chewing and stared at the TV. What were we even watching? I literally had to mentally backtrack to our conversation about Marvel versus DC before it registered that it was Thor in front of me.

  Which didn’t help the situation.

  Thor had long hair.

  Hot, rude guy had long hair.

  It was a serious problem.

  Made worse by the fact that he and Slater seemed to have some sort of beef that made my entire room smell like testosterone. I could actually feel his man-juices getting pissed off and swirly inside his body. He also kept punching his stuffed unicorn every few seconds.

  “And here I thought you guys were supposed to be cheering me up.” Alexa blew out an exasperated breath. “All men suck, burn, burn, burn…” She elbowed me and laughed while Slater stopped punching the unicorn long enough to stare at the two of us with heavy skepticism.

  “So…” I cleared my throat. “…you and the tall one? Used to be… friends?” I guessed.

  “Lovers?” Alexa just had to add.

  I tossed a piece of popcorn at her face while Slater groaned and moved to a sitting position.

  His six-pack was in full view. He clearly had something against clothing; he was in nothing but a pair of black jogger pants and a Nike beanie. Pieces of his caramel-colored hair were plastered against his forehead and tucked behind his ears, making him look younger.

  “How does, ‘I don’t want to talk about it’ sound?” He cracked his knuckles. “And do I really look gay? He wasn’t my lover.”

  “Ri-i-ght.” Alexa nodded. “Says the guy with enough face products to open up his own Sephora. I totally believe you, though.” She winked slowly.

  He gritted his teeth. “I like women—” He stopped then eyed her up and down. “—not that you would know if one hit you upside the head, but do you even own a brush?”

  She glared. “Why? Are you offering to give me your favorite horsehair one? I’ve heard it makes things really shiny.”

  “Shiny, my ass!” Slater ground out through his teeth.

  “Guys…” I stood, ready to separate them. “…play nice.”

  “I would if we had popcorn that wasn’t burnt — and ice, the crushed kind.” Alexa frowned into her cup. “Why are we trapped in the room again?”

  “Because…” I crossed my arms and swallowed hard then shared a knowing look with Slater. “…the tall one…” I left out the hot part. “…was offering to share… things…” I gulped. “…and we don’t do things like that.”

  “Good girls go bad…” Slater started to sing then hummed the rest.

  I grabbed his unicorn and tossed it at his face.

  He caught it just in time.

  “Fine. You want ice?” I jerked open the door and whispered in a low voice, “I’ll get the damn ice.”

  “You go girl.” Alexa whistled. “You get yours!”

  “Shhhh!” Slater cupped a hand over her mouth. “Do you want them to hear? They’ll think she wants some, actual some, not ice.”

  Alexa just shrugged. “Shouldn’t one of us be getting sex?”

  “Huh, woman has a point, but they don’t do sex, so… I guess nothing to worry about.”

  I frowned then turned back around and shut the door behind me. “What do they really do then? The moans we heard Friday meant sex, or what? Do they just control the energy field around a woman’s body?”

  Slater rolled his eyes. “All pleasure, no penetration. It’s their slogan.”

  I gasped. “What douchebags!”

  Alexa burst out laughing. “Ah, I feel better already… Who uses that as a slogan?”

  “They do.” Slater broke eye contact then scratched his head. “So where are we on the ice situation?”

  I wasn’t sure.

  About anything.

  Ice.

  Life.

  The universe’s obvious hatred of me for putting three guys across the living room who decided it would be fun to toy with my emotions and touch me and…

  Chapter Six

  Knox

  “She’s back,” Leo whispered.

  I pretended not to hear him.

  Finn threw a pencil at my face.

  I dodged it and added in another client for the following night — one of the normal ones who’d recently been dumped by her fiancé and just wanted to talk. I rubbed her feet, Leo gave a killer hand massage, and since Finn was a talker, he sat in front of her and said things like, “I understand, tell me more. All men should burn. You’re really pretty when you cry. Aw shit, did I say too much?”

  It used to feel good.

  Making them feel good.

  Now it just felt like I was lying through my ass every time someone paid us to make them feel better. We were untrained therapists with too much charm; it was a damn dangerous problem to have.

  “Ice, ice, baby…” Finn started singing then stood. “I think I’ll
go get some…”

  “Some.” Leo grinned. “You know what? I’m suddenly parched as well. Knox? Care to join us?”

  I grunted.

  And eventually caved by way of peer pressure and a shit ton of jealousy that they were going to be able to get close enough to smell her skin. What the hell was that? Lavender? I stood, praying to God she’d at least put on a baggy sweatshirt that hid her perfectly rounded tits.

  Leo was out first, followed by Finn. It was how these things worked. We always sent Leo in first because the last time we all approached a woman at the same time, we’d had to call the paramedics; it had been a panic attack, not a heart attack, but it had freaked us out enough to make sure we didn’t just intimidate the hell out of whoever we were supposed to be sucking up to.

  “Shower Girl…” Leo rubbed his hands together while I leaned against the farthest wall away from them. He towered over her, every muscle in his body tight. I didn’t miss the way she looked at his biceps like they were an ice cream cone, and he was offering her unlimited licks. He wore T-shirts for that very reason, and skinny jeans to show off his tight ass. Can’t make this shit up.

  I waited while she gulped and tried to sidestep him.

  It was amusing watching her inward struggle.

  And I felt like an ass for wanting to join in the teasing just to see how far I could push her before she screamed my name and crawled back for more. It had been a while since I’d developed any sort of interest in someone of the opposite sex who wasn’t part of my job.

  I would never admit it.

  But maybe they were right.

  “Hold up.” Leo reached out and grazed a finger down her arm as he cornered her. “You should moisturize after showering. It’s one of the rules of living in a dry environment.”

  “We live in Seattle.” She crossed her arms.

  Leo grinned. “I meant the dorms, but thanks for the geography lesson. I’ve always had a very serious teacher-student fantasy, and you just brought a sliver of that to life.” He leaned down until his face was inches from hers.

  Her breaths came in small gasps. Her eyes were wide.

  “I wouldn’t be a gentleman if I didn’t give you a proper thank you.”