The Last Man in London
Page 18
Chapter 23
“Wherein jealousy burns and things go awry, but hope remains in sight.”
It was yet another grand affair and Dinah wished she cared more. With regret, she remembered the first such party she had attended and how very frightened she’d been. Well, she was no longer afraid. She didn’t care now, what these people said of her or thought about her. Perhaps that was progress of a sort.
Tonight, she was the guest of the duke of Sherringham, which would no doubt set tongues wagging, but it was at least a large party of guests that the man had brought so she was not entirely singled out. She had danced with him once but refused a second dance as she always did. She never, ever showed a preference for any man or gave them the least bit of encouragement. Ridiculously enough, this only seemed to stoke the air of mystery they insisted she had and made them ever more persistent. She’d heard there was even a book kept at White’s with astonishing sums of money wagered on which man would finally break through her defences. If she’d cared a little more, she would have been furious, but as it was, she didn’t give a damn. There would be no winners here.
“Good evening, Miss Osborne.”
Dinah felt her heart stutter as the familiar voice sounded in her ear. Turning, she steeled herself to face the man who had stolen her heart some months ago. Yet the shock of seeing him was compounded because he looked very much like Joe had this morning.
“Good heavens!” she exclaimed, too astonished to feign polite indifference as she took in his appearance. He looked even more rakish than usual, as he was battered and bruised, and she felt astonished that he’d come out in public at all. Even more so that they had allowed in him to such a select event, but then that dark charm of his could work wonders, as she well knew. Joe had clearly worked him over well, though, and it solved the mystery of his assailant. “It was you,” she murmured, wishing Joe hadn’t interfered.
One rather arrogant eyebrow raised, those dark blue eyes glittering a little with emotion, though of what variety, she could not decipher. “What was me?” he replied, his tone cool. “I appear to have been accused of many things of late, so you’ll need to be a little more precise.”
Dinah stared at him, wondering at his animosity. She’d done everything he’d wanted. She’d set him free as he’d so obviously desired and kept away since. She’d not wept or clung to him or begged him to stay in the manner men of his stamp so despised. What more could she have done?
She sucked in a breath, determined to remain in control and keep her dignity intact. “I apologise, Lord Lancaster, I think perhaps Mr Kray has acted rather rashly. I assure you that whatever his motivation, he was quite mistaken, and that it was none of my doing.”
“Really?” he replied, his tone rather terse. “I was given the impression I was being soundly punished.”
Dinah snorted despite herself, remembering how battered Joe had looked. “Bearing in mind I saw Mr Kray this morning, it looked as though you did a fair amount of punishing yourself,” she muttered, glaring at him.
“That was self-defence!”
“No doubt,” she replied, shaking her head and fervently wishing to bang their two heads together herself. “Well, now you’ve both gotten it out of your systems, you’ll feel much better, I’m sure.”
“Oh, but I don’t.” The words were hard and frustrated and full of irritation, and Dinah gasped as Ben’s long fingers curled around her wrist, practically dragging her to the dance floor.
“What do you think you’re doing?” she hissed, staring around in alarm to see if people had noticed. “Unhand me this minute.”
“No,” he replied, the one word terse and succinct. “You’re going to dance with me.”
“I am not!” Dinah retorted, snatching her hand free of his grasp. The idea of dancing with him made her heart do the most peculiar little dance in her chest, but quite apart from that, she was damned if she’d be ordered about in such a high-handed manner.
“You refuse?” he said, looking ever more irritated.
“I do.” Dinah glared at him, denying the urge to stamp her foot with difficulty. Before he could act on the rather daunting look in his eyes, she turned and fled, threading her way through the sea of people and out of the ballroom. Glancing behind her, she saw no sign that Ben had followed, and didn’t know whether to be relieved or disappointed. She did know her nerves were all a jangle and that she needed a moment alone before she could face the crowd again. Hurrying through a dizzying layout of corridors and rooms, she pushed out of a door that appeared to lead outside and found herself upon a darkened terrace.
The night air was cold and made her skin prickle, but she sucked in a breath, grateful for the shock of it. It was simply the chill in the air that made her eyes water so. She would not cry. Oh no. She’d done quite enough of that and she wasn’t about to …
Her thoughts ground to a halt as she heard the door open again and she turned to see that Ben had followed her. The two of them stared at each other for a moment before Ben closed the door behind him with quiet deliberation.
“You shouldn’t be out here, all alone, Miss Osborne,” he said, a note to his voice that had all of her instincts prickling with alarm. “You never know what might happen, or who might follow you.”
Dinah snorted, furious with him all at once. What the devil did he want from her now? “Yes, I might be accosted by a rake and a libertine, for example,” she threw back at him.
“You might indeed,” he said, his tone mocking now, and Dinah could stand no more, she went to push past him, to make her escape, but he grabbed a hold of her, pulling her into his arms. Dinah gasped, shocked that he should behave so when he had turned his back on her when she’d offered herself to him, body and soul.
“What do you want from me, Ben?” she cried, struggling to push him away, to no avail.
“I want to know which of them you’ve chosen,” he demanded, his arms going around her too tightly to break free. “Who it was you wanted that was so much better than me.”
“What?” Dinah stared at him in shock, wondering what on earth he was on about.
“Have you accepted Sherringham, dammit?”
She jolted as though he’d slapped her, arrested by both the rather desperate tone of his voice and the fact he believed she would just hand herself over to the highest bidder.
“How dare you!” she said, trembling with anger and emotion now. “If you’re going to listen to gossip, you might at least get it right. I’ve turned him down three times now, and everyone else who’s offered, too, I might add. Not that it is any of your business.”
She fought again to get free of him but found herself hauled closer and kissed with utter ruthlessness. Dinah squealed, trying to turn her head away from his as she wrestled him in vain, and finally stamped on his foot with her heel.
Ben cursed, removing his mouth from hers but not letting her go. “Stop that, you little hell-cat. I’ll show you whose damn business this is.”
Dinah raised her hand to slap him, but he was ready this time and caught her by the wrist, forcing her back against the wall until she was pinned by both his body and the wrist he held above her head.
“Why are you doing this?” she demanded, bewildered by his actions. It seemed like he was out of his mind with jealousy, but why? Why now, after all these weeks? Was it just the idea of her being with a duke that was driving him to such lengths? “I offered you everything, and you left me,” she shouted at him, beyond enraged now, hot tears stinging her eyes as she fought not to let her emotions take her over completely. “You turned your back on me and didn’t come back. So why must you act so now?”
“I was coming back, dammit!” he raged, his anger searing her as he held her by the arms now. His eyes were almost black with fury as he glared at her. Dinah stared back at him and wondered if that was it. He’d assumed that she’d sit about waiting for him to make her his mistress and was only furious now she’d had a better offer.
“Really?” she s
aid, her voice trembling now. “Well, I have turned down dukes and viscounts, and I can’t imagine why you believe you are any different. I’ll not have you either!” She threw the words at him, a little astonished when he dropped her hand and stood back. He looked shocked and possibly rather hurt, but she was hurt, too, and too angry to decipher his feelings when her own were in turmoil. She hurried away from him, running to the door and yanked it open. Hesitating on the doorway, she looked back at him, as the tears could be held back no longer.
“I’ll be no man’s mistress, Ben. I’m no lady, but I’m worth more than that.”
She slammed the door shut and looked down as the key clattered to the floor. Snatching it up, she put it back in the door with trembling fingers and twisted it in the lock just as Ben reached it and turned the handle. He banged on the door, calling her name, but Dinah couldn’t listen to any more. He had insulted her enough for one night and she could not face any more of his anger, so she hurried away, leaving him trapped on the terrace.
***
By the time Ben made it back inside the ballroom, he was frantic. News that Dinah had long since left did not help in the least. Hope, at least, was burning a little brighter. He’d made an utter mess of things, again, but this time, perhaps he could salvage things. Seeing her swan in on Sherringham’s arm had made jealousy rage so much he’d not been the least bit conciliatory or found any of the words of apology he’d been planning on using. Instead, he’d been possessive and resentful and had enraged her. Dinah’s words had been angry, as well they might have been, but she’d said in no uncertain terms she’d refused to be anyone’s mistress. She didn’t want a viscount or even a duke, she’d said so herself. So perhaps she did really want to be with him … but as his wife.
“Are you all right, old man?”
Ben looked around as Tommy laid a hand on his arm. His eyes, as ever, were full of concern, and Ben gave a rather bewildered laugh.
“I don’t know, to be honest,” he said, as Tommy looked ever more anxious. “Not just yet, perhaps, but … I think I will be.”
“It’s Miss Osborne, isn’t it?” Tommy said, his voice low.
Ben nodded, giving his friend a rueful smile. “It has always been Miss Osborne,” he admitted.
He watched as Tommy frowned, the expression sitting ill with the profusion of cherubic gold curls that framed the young man’s face. “What I don’t understand, Ben,” Tommy said, as he looked up at Ben and met his eyes. “Is why you were unfaithful to her, when you clearly love her so much?”
Ben blinked, confused for a moment until he remembered that this was what everyone else thought he’d done. “I wasn’t, Tommy. There’s been no one else. It … it was just a ridiculous misunderstanding, but I can see why she thought I’d wronged her now.”
Whilst he’d been panicking about his feelings for her, Dinah had been waiting for him, expecting him to offer her something, even if it was just a carte blanche. When he’d failed to appear at all, and especially after leaving her at such a moment and in such a way, she’d assumed he’d wanted to end it. She’d done as she promised and set him free, but perhaps the cost of doing so had not been as slight as he’d imagined. Not if what Joe had implied was true.
The timing had been dreadful, but it was his own fault for not listening to his heart from the outset. He’d always assumed he didn’t give a damn for his family or the opinion of others, but it wasn’t entirely true. Giving it all up had given him pause. Now however, he knew his own mind, he knew what was important, who was important, and this time … he would get it right.
“Tommy,” he said, turning to his friend and grasping his arm. “I’m going to marry her.”
Tommy beamed at him and took his hand, shaking it with vigour. “Well, I say, that’s wonderful news, Ben, and about time, too.”
Ben laughed, knowing at least one of his friends would not cut him in the street if he made this work. “Thank you, Tommy, you’re a good friend. The best,” he added as Tommy flushed at his praise. “But do you think you could help me out with something?”
“Anything, Ben,” Tommy replied, a little startled. “If I can,” he added, looking doubtful.
“Haven’t you got a relative who’s a bishop or something?”
Tommy looked like he was racking his brain, which was not so surprising given the size of his extensive family, but he gave a slight nod. “Got more bishops than you can shake a stick at, Ben, truth be told,” he said with a touch of chagrin. “Which one did you want? It’s enough to give a fellow the pip, I can tell you, the way they prosy on at one. What the devil do you want with a bishop, anyway?”
“Because I’m going to do things properly, but I can’t wait for bloody months before I make Dinah my wife. So, I need a special licence and I need one now, that’s why,” Ben said, tugging at Tommy’s arm and practically towing him from the room. “And you’re going to get me one.”
Chapter 24
“Wherein ‘the nick of time’ becomes an appropriate phrase.”
Dinah had laid in bed as long as she’d dared without Joe thundering up the stairs and demanding if she was unwell. Nonetheless, it was late by the time she’d dressed, and Mary proclaimed herself satisfied with her hair. Dinah forced a smile to her lips and thanked the woman, doing her best to admire her work, which was admittedly very fine. Not that it mattered, no one would see it.
She had made a decision which was long overdue and would put an end to her public life and disappear. Joe had been trying to persuade her for weeks it would be a good thing for her to get away and start afresh somewhere new, and all at once it seemed like a good idea. The dashing Miss Diamond would be no more, and they would settle down to a respectable life, just like she had always intended. It sounded a little dull, but at least she would be safe from scenes like last night’s. She sucked in a breath and forced Ben’s face from her mind. Hoping and longing had brought her nothing but misery, and so she needed a clean break. A fresh start where no one knew who she was, and she could begin again.
She went down to breakfast, intending to discuss the idea with Joe, but didn’t get the response she’d been expecting.
“What you want to go an’ leave for?” he demanded, shaking his head. “Nah, treacle, let’s stay ‘ere. At least for a little while longer,” he added, frowning into his mug.
“But it was your idea!” Dinah exclaimed, frustrated now she was being thwarted the moment she’d agreed.
Joe glowered and shrugged, looking rather shifty. “Well, I changed me mind.”
“Why?” she demanded, as Joe appeared to be avoiding her eye.
“I dunno,” he said, sounding rather defensive now. “Only … well, you never know, and … I reckon we should stay put a little longer.”
Dinah rolled her eyes at him in frustration. “You’re not making the least bit of sense, Joe.” Joe shrugged but said nothing further. “What are you up to?”
She was answered with silence and found herself overcome by a rush of emotion. “I need to get away from him, Joe!” she said, her voice breaking a little. “And I know it was him you fought because I saw him last night!” She let out a little sob, scrabbling for the hanky she’d stuffed up her sleeve and blowing her nose with vigour. Oh, damn you, Dinah, stop being such a watering pot, she cursed herself, but to no avail.
“You spoke to ‘im?” Joe said, a curious look in his eyes. “What'd he say?”
With a disgusted snort, Dinah shook her head. “He was horrid. I’m well rid of him, Joe,” she said, sitting up a little straighter and wishing she could make herself believe it. “He had the temerity to ask if I was Sherringham’s mistress.” She stared at Joe, expecting him to leap to her defence, but his face grew thoughtful.
“I suppose you arrived on the bloody duke’s arm, did you?” he demanded, his tone rather accusing.
Dinah gaped at him. “Well, of course I did, as he was escorting me!”
“’E was escorting a whole lot of ladies an’ gents, from what I u
nderstood,” Joe added, shaking his head. “Is it any wonder Ben got the wrong idea when everyone knows the fellow is after you?”
“What?” Dinah blinked in shock. Why was Joe defending Ben? It made no sense. Especially after the two of them had beaten each other black and blue. She would never understand men if she lived to a hundred. “So it’s my fault he was rude to me?”
There was a dangerous note to her voice that a lesser man might have noted. Not Joe.
He shrugged, his face thoughtful. “Can’t ‘elp thinkin’ you might ‘ave acted a bit hasty-like. Breaking off the engagement, an’ in public, like you did.”
“Joe, just how hard did Ben hit you?” Dinah demanded, feeling quite at sea now. She held her hand up in front of his face. “How many fingers can you see?”
Joe pushed her hand away and she huffed as he rolled his eyes at her, but they could have no further conversation as there was a knock at the door. Mary was still upstairs, and Dinah felt she needed to escape the bizarre world she’d awoken to, so she answered it herself.
On opening the door, she rather wished she hadn’t bothered.
“Mr Grubber,” she said in disgust, shuddering as the revolting man smiled at her, if you could call it a smile. His thick lips stretched tight over yellowing teeth, a smug, leering expression in his eyes as he greeted her.
“Good morning, Miss Osborne,” he said, putting peculiar emphasis on the ‘miss’ part in a way that made Dinah’s skin prickle with alarm. “I wonder if I might come in for a moment?”
“No, Mr Grubber, you might not,” she replied, glaring at the odious man with revulsion. “Say whatever you want to and be on your way.”
“As you wish,” he said, looking over both her and her home with a strangely proprietorial air which made her increasingly ill at ease. “I’ll come in next time I visit. After all, I think we’re going to become very well acquainted, you and I.”