Until You: A Malsum Pass Novel

by Forrest, Kimberly

  At Susan’s wide eyed look of surprise Constance winked, “I’m not scared of him; though he should be running terrified away from me. I’m just dying to set my clippers to that mass of matting he calls hair and he knows it.” She laughed, gave a little bounce and a wave and headed off with her mug of cider.

  Susan shook her head. She needed to have a serious talk with Sebastian about his manners. But first, she needed to get to the store, her headache was getting worse.

  By the time she got back, Susan felt like she could barely make it up the stairs, everything hurt. She’d come back with an assortment of daytime and nighttime cold medicines, a bottle of ibuprofen, a tub of vapor rub as Constance had suggested, a box of tissues, four cans of soup, a box of crackers, a box of tea bags and a bottle of ginger ale. She had planned to heat up the soup first, but now her headache was pounding and her nose had started dripping; all she wanted to do was take some of the medicine and crawl back in bed.

  She scowled at the thought of Sebastian seeing her like this; she was not pretty when she was sick. How was she supposed to attract him when her nose would turn red and crusty, her eyes would be watery and red rimmed, and God forbid he witness one of her explosive sneezes? If she wasn’t careful to have tissue near to hand, anyone within a ten foot radius would need a hazmat suit.

  She sighed and pushed into her room to rip open the bag and find one of the nighttime medicines. Ah, you glorious magical elixir of sleep she thought if you make me better by morning I’ll kiss your little round bottom.

  Unfortunately when Susan woke the next morning to someone knocking on her door, her cold had not disappeared. Judging by her completely stuffed nostrils, the large wet mark on her pillow from drool, and the god awful taste in her mouth she’d gone from bad to worse.

  There was another knock and Sebastian asking “Bug? Are you all right?” Susan buried her head under her pillow. No, no, no, no, no… he’ll run away screaming if he saw her. She tried to tell him to go away but her voice came out as a barely audible croak; her scratchy throat had transitioned to laryngitis apparently.

  “I’m coming in, Bug.” He warned before she heard the door creak open. She wanted to refuse to pull her head out from under the pillow but it was getting rather hard to breath. She lifted a corner to try to tell him she was sick but no words came out – oh, not because of her throat this time but the pure shock of seeing Sebastian.

  Either yesterday or this morning (possibly even this afternoon since Susan had no idea what time it was); he had cut his hair and shaved off his beard. His thick dark hair was clipped in short heavy layers, while his strong jaw was now smooth of the hair that had previously given his face a round look. He was gorgeous – even more so then she remembered with the added maturity on his masculine features. At that moment she was glad she was laying down or she probably would have hit the floor.

  She brushed the back of her hand across her mouth. Good God, was she drooling? She groaned and pulled the pillow back down over her face. It wasn’t fair that he looked so amazing and she was an absolute wreck. She couldn’t even close her mouth since she couldn’t breathe without it open.

  “Constance told me you caught a cold.” He said. “I brought you some tea with honey.”

  His words had her lifting the pillow again. She had been so concentrated on gawking at his face she hadn’t noticed the steaming mug in his hand. She intended to tell him thank you and to set it down and leave so he didn’t get exposed to her germs but her voice failed her again. She squawked in dread when he approached the bed and put an arm under her to lever her up into a sitting position, pulled the pillow away from her face and pushed it behind her back before placing the warm mug in her hand.

  She took a sip and then another, the heat of the liquid and the honey helping to soothe her throat. She cleared it and then tried to speak a bit. “You look great,” she croaked and then took another sip.

  He shrugged, lifted his hand and flexed his fingers just above his sternum, grimaced and stuffed his hands in his pockets. “I thought about what you said yesterday, about pulling the stick out of my ass and decided you were right. I guess you could call this a first step to being more approachable.”

  “You did a great job with it.” She croaked out. Her voice seemed to be getting better with each sip of tea, even if it did sound nasally and congested.

  He laughed low. “If I had done it, it would have looked like I took a weed whacker to it. This was all Constance.” He said making a motion toward his face with a wave of his hand before returning it to his pocket.

  Susan hid her smile in her mug. So Constance had gotten her wish. She watched as Sebastian walked over to the dresser where she had piled her purchases the night before. He pulled out the daytime medicine and measured the dose in the small cup before he brought it over to her. He waited while she dutifully drank the medicine. Then he opened the box of tissues and set them within her easy reach. He put his hand on her forehead to check for fever and she nearly cringed thinking her skin was probably nasty greasy. When he removed his hand he mumbled “No fever, that’s good.” He stepped away from the bed and she grabbed a tissue and tried to blow her nose as quietly as possible. He went to the window to look outside. He looked like he wanted to say something, but wasn’t sure where to begin so she patiently waited and sipped at her tea.

  Still with his eyes on the view from the window he finally spoke. “I was so mad at them – at him. He betrayed me. I had to just get away from all of the memories, so I left.”

  Susan looked down at her lap, feeling guilty. Yes, he had had the right to know, but the way she had done it, with purely selfish motivation was inexcusable; she had hurt him. She had given him that pain. She was about to apologize when he continued.

  “I didn’t even pack a bag when I left. I just took off with the clothes on my back. I lived purely out in nature for a long time. If there was something I wanted to see, I just went. Sedona is beautiful, the Grand Canyon will take your breath away,” he paused. Yellowstone, Mount Rushmore, Redwood Forest,” another pause, “the Rocky Mountains to the Smokey Mountains and up the Appalachian Trail, I was the bear a lot more than I was a man during those first few years. I travelled all over the place with no real rhyme or reason, keeping away from cities and stealing clothes so I could jump trains to ride the rails when I couldn’t avoid it.” He tapped the heel of his boot against his other foot.

  “I had decided to head to Canada when I found this town.” He paused for a moment and then chuckled as he glanced at her. “Actually, they found me. I’d been caught in an old bear trap someone had abandoned or forgotten and had taken shelter in a shack that had pretty much caved in on itself long ago but some of the pack sniffed me out. They patched me up and let me stay until I was better. By the time my leg healed they told me it was bear season and I’d have to avoid shifting if I left. But they also said that if I wanted, I could stay with them for a time. Their territory is posted so I wouldn’t have to be quite so worried about shifting. The only thing they asked of me was that I help patrol the woods and keep it safe.” He shrugged and reached again for his chest. Susan wondered if he had an itch but then realized he was looking for his missing beard. It must have been a habit for him to stroke it or pull on it when he was speaking or thinking.

  Sebastian continued, “I thought it might be a good idea to take them up on their offer, at least temporarily. Before I knew it, years had gone by and I kind of got attached to the area. There’s a great stream for fishing near my cabin and lots of berry bushes. For the most part I’ve lived quietly and haven’t really wanted anything more…” He paused and looked at her, his dark eyes intense with an emotion she couldn’t quite recognize – it may have been anger, but she didn’t think so and then he continued and shocked the hell out of her when he said: “Until you.”

  Chapter Seven

  Sebastian sat there and watched her for a moment. How could she still be so pretty even when she had a bad cold? Her nose was red; her ha
ir was flat on one side from sleep and pushed up into a pretty good approximation of a birds nest on top. She was even breathing with her mouth open but she still looked good to him. He had had a good time yesterday with Bug and had hated to leave her, but he knew he needed to get home and into some dry clothes and think things over. The hug she had given him had been unexpectedly nice. She had smelled incredible and those breasts pressing against him had made his mouth go dry. It had been so long since a woman had touched him, much less a woman of his own kind, and his body had reacted instantly, he had had to pull away before she noticed and possibly became offended. Was she attracted to him or did she see him as a big brother type since she had known him as she was growing up? His thoughts certainly weren’t brotherly.

  When he had arrived at his cabin he had built up the fire in his fireplace and changed out of his wet clothes before looking around. He tried to view the place as Susan had seen it. The space was too small, with minimal furnishings or comforts. No woman would want to live here in these primitive conditions. Hell, her sister would have laughed in his face if he’d even hinted at such a thing. He would need to do something about that, so as soon as he had warmed up he had set out for the town offices to see Vahl. Tarvahl Pierce would be able to file a motion with the council to have a new residence built, or advise him if any of the available cabins on the outskirts were habitable.

  When he had told Vahl what he wanted, the older man had looked thoughtful as he rubbed his faded ginger beard. “It’s the wrong time of year to build anything, Sebastian, but we can certainly get some plans drawn up if you want something new. The felines are in the only other cabin that’s usable at the moment, so again, you’ll have to wait for the thaw if you want to repair one of the others.”

  Sebastian frowned but nodded. He couldn’t hide his disappointment. Once he made up his mind to do something, he didn’t like to wait.

  Vahl tapped his fingers on his desk and then cleared his throat. “You may want to go out to Tara’s place and talk to Coop.” He said, referring to Riley Cooper by his nickname. “I think he and Tara are planning on staying in her house since it’s bigger, so his place is sitting empty. I don’t know exactly what their plans are for the place, but it certainly wouldn’t hurt to ask.”

  Sebastian had thanked him and stood, but Vahl had forestalled him, “Hold on and let me give a call out there, they may be on the trails. If they’re home I’ll give you a ride. I’ll jump on any excuse to visit my baby girl.” The older man said with a smile.

  Once the call was made to confirm that they were indeed home, it had been a quick truck ride out to the large house that once belonged to L.J. Mason, Tara’s grandfather. Tara quickly ushered them in out of the cold; she had hugged her father and smiled warmly at Sebastian. “Riley’s in the kitchen making coffee if you want to sit in here by the fire,” she motioned to the couch facing the large stone fireplace. “It’s warmer in here.”

  When everyone was seated with mugs of coffee and the initial pleasantries out of the way, Vahl brought up what Sebastian was looking for. Riley’s mouth had cocked up on one side in cocky grin. “Finally got sick of trudging out in the snow in the middle of the night to take a piss, Bastian?” He chuckled.

  Sebastian had rubbed his hands on his thighs; not really comfortable divulging his plans when he hadn’t even gotten an agreement that Susan would stay. Hell, he wasn’t even sure exactly why he wanted her to stay. He just knew he wanted Bug to stick around and she was more likely to consider it if there was a comfortable place for her to live. But staying with him? Would she even agree to that? Was he really ready for that? Had he unknowingly become so desperate for companionship that he would jump on the first female bear he saw? No, that wasn’t it since he had run across other bear shifters through the years and none had pulled at him the way Bug did. Riley’s next words pulled him from his thoughts.

  “I don’t know if you’re aware, Bastian since you weren’t there the night we announced it, but Tara and I are expecting.” Riley had said with a proud smile.

  Sebastian was about to congratulate them both when Tara snorted. “He makes it sound like it was a planned announcement.” She chuckled and looked at Sebastian with a grin. “When I told him, he yelled so loud the whole town, not to mention everyone in The Stag that night heard him.”

  The Stag was the local bar that Tarvahl’s eldest son and Tara’s younger brother Conner owned. “Congratulations,” Sebastian said. It was happy news, but he had wondered where Riley was going with it.

  Riley cleared his throat. “Tara’s doctor, Doctor Bascomb doesn’t live near here. He’s agreed to make monthly trips down from Maine for her checkups, but once she hits her third trimester, he’s going to be staying until after the baby is born. I told him he could stay at my place.”

  Sebastian had tried to hide his disappointment but knew he failed.

  “I have no problem with you staying there until then. It’ll be spring by the time the doc will need my place, and something else may come available between now and then.”

  “Or we can make other arrangements for Doctor Bascomb.” Tara suggested, but Riley put a hand on her knee and said, “I want him close to you, sweetheart, and my place is closest.”

  Temporary comfort was better than what Sebastian had now. Plus, it would give him several months to convince Bug to stay and design something she would love. He would bet she’d enjoy something made especially for her. That thought had been disconcerting as it smacked of permanence and he mentally checked himself. One thing at a time; it may even be a good idea to actually take the lady out on a date before you’re building houses for her.

  He turned his attention back to Riley and the matter at hand, he smiled and nodded. “I can work with that if you can.”

  After that, they had all walked up the road to Riley’s A-frame cabin that was surrounded by woods. This cabin was nothing like Sebastian’s, this was practically a mansion compared to what he had become accustomed to. Everything was in golden shades of finished wood; the sunlight streaming in from the massive wall of windows gave it a soft glow. The furniture was rustic in appearance but comfortable, the kitchen was modern and loaded with appliances that Sebastian knew Susan would appreciate, and Riley’s place, unlike Sebastian’s actually had a bathroom. The loft bedroom with the huge bed was like a cozy hideaway tucked beneath the pitched beams and Sebastian imagined taking Susan to bed, cocooned away where no one would disturb them for days. The thought was incredibly pleasing.

  The back deck had two sturdy Adirondack chairs currently stacked and covered against the snow, as well as a hot tub that had invoked images of a naked and slippery Susan pressed against him in the bubbling water. He had had to quickly push those images away before everyone knew where his thoughts had gone.

  After the tour they had agreed that Vahl would run Sebastian out to his cabin to help pack up his few meager belongings and they would return here where they would all have dinner.

  It had been a nice evening, even if his contribution to the conversation had been a bit limited. There had been plenty of laughter to go around. He had just wished Susan had been there with him. He imagined she would enjoy spending an evening in just this way.

  He had wanted to cut his hair that night, once he was settled in at Riley’s. It was the first time he had really seen his reflection as a man in a long time. Usually if he saw himself it was from the surface of water as a bear or in the dim reflection of glass the rare times he went into town as a man. It was a shock to realize just how unkempt he looked. He didn’t own a hairbrush; he would have to buy one, and maybe some razors. The only grooming equipment he actually owned was a toothbrush and some nail clippers. He had found some shears in Riley’s bathroom and was about to take a chunk from his matted beard when an image of Constance Tully floated into his mind. On the rare occasions he had run into her, she had always looked pointedly at his hair before sliding a business card his way. With a sly look she would tap the card with one of her polis
hed nails and say, “You need to come see me.” Maybe he should take her up on that.

  He knew where Flora’s Hair Design, where Constance worked, was in town, but one glance at the clock had confirmed that they had long since closed. He debated once more about chopping his own hair, but then put the shears away. Constance was a trained professional; he would just go see her in the morning.

  Once he was reasonably sure Constance was at work the next morning he’d gone into town. As soon as he had pushed open the doors to the shop Constance had started bouncing up and down and squealing, reaching decibel levels he didn’t know any creature could reach. He had winced at the noise and contemplated walking right back out the door, but she grabbed his arm with another squeal and pulled him – with surprising strength – into her chair.

  “Why didn’t anyone tell me Christmas had come early?” She screeched before whipping a black cape around him and grabbing her clippers. The only thing she asked his opinion about was whether he wanted to keep some of his beard for the winter, but he’d simply shook his head, winced against her next happy squeal and then watched as piles of matted black hair had fallen from his head.

  He had to admit that Constance had done an amazing job. He’d never been one for vanity, in fact his mother had always told him and Christian that vanity was a deadly sin. Not that his mother had been overly religious, or that either of them had truly listened, but anytime she would see one of her boys spending too much time in front of the mirror she would sternly caution them about putting too much stock in appearances. So he had become rather used to not paying much attention to his reflection just so he wouldn’t have to hear the lectures anymore. But the man staring back at him right now wasn’t a complete stranger; rather it was the image of his father and he couldn’t look away. How had he never seen it? He had reached up to touch his jaw to assure himself that it was his face. It felt so odd – lighter, cooler, weirder…