An Unfinished Life

by Wasowski, Mary

  We boarded the plane and took our seats. We would be airborne in a few minutes, and then I would brace myself for one hell of a conversation with Zoey. She wanted answers, and deserved them, but I just got her back and didn’t want to risk losing her over someone from my past. She held my hand as we began our take-off. She was adorable with her eyes closed and one little hand squeezing my own.

  “You don’t like take-offs?”

  “No, I don’t. I always get really nervous, but once we level out, I’m fine.”

  “It’s okay, baby. I’ve got you.”

  “You certainly do, Agent Paulson, but did you bring the handcuffs?”

  That’s my sweet temptress. I was getting more lost in her beautiful eyes as I continued to stare at her, and thank God she made it. I don’t know how I got so lucky to meet Zoey when I did, but I would never question it again. She was here with me now, and if I had my way, she would be forever.

  “Well?” she asked. “You never answered my question: did you pack them?”

  “I never leave home without them,” I winked back at her.

  Once we were at cruising altitude, we unbuckled our seatbelts and moved over to the leather sofa. Janice went all out with the accommodations. She knew what I liked when I traveled. The jet had a private bedroom, but with Zoey just being released from the hospital, I wasn’t ready to introduce her to the mile-high club yet. We needed to talk first, and the conversation I needed to have with her could no longer wait.

  She sensed my apprehension but gave me room to breathe and waited until I was ready. I stretched my legs and invited Zoey to sit in between them with my arms around her, a perfect position for me to lay kisses down onto her head. If it became too much for her to hear, I would let her go to find safe haven in the bedroom. I never talked about my past, not ever, and it was very hard for me to find the words, but I started with the reason why we were going to Boston. I started with her.

  “Her name was Minela LaRocha, and she was to be my wife, but our love story ended the night she was gunned down and died in my arms.” I immediately felt Zoey shiver, but I held her so I could continue with my story. “She was beautiful, smart, tough, and a damn good cop. When we met, it was like oil and water. I was adamant about not wanting another partner, but she soon changed my mind. She challenged me to get to know her better, and at the end of the day, that’s all I wanted to do. Our working relationship eventually turned personal, and I was in love for the very first time in my life.”

  “She was his only daughter, the pride and joy of his life. She was one of five children, the first four all boys, and all cops. She defied her father’s wishes and joined the force. I met her when she transferred from Boston to New York. We were both detectives, and Duffy, who you met, warned me off from the very first day.”

  “Why would he do that?” she asked, turning to look up at me.

  “Duffy wasn’t being a jerk or anything, but he knew me better than most. He gave me her stats and experience, and I wasn’t really interested in all of that because I was stubborn and wanted to work alone. As I left his office, he told me not to fall in love with her, which of course, I scoffed at the notion. What was he, crazy? You don’t fall in love with the person who has your back on the streets! But after spending one afternoon with her, I was pretty much eating my words.”

  “I fell in love, and I fell hard. All I wanted was to have what my brother had with his wife. What my parents share and still have today after years of being together. It was time for me to man up and tell her how I felt, and I didn’t really have to do much convincing, because she felt the same way. We dove into the big pool of love, moved into a shoe box of an apartment, and were happy. Losing Minela made me lose parts of myself. I drove my family away and used my work as my refuge. I was just…dead…inside, and I didn’t really care.”

  I let out a deep sigh, and closed my eyes to fight back the tears, but it was too late. They were falling, and Zoey turned and held me close to her.

  “Shhh, it’s okay Jake. I’m here, and I love you.”

  I wanted to make love to this amazing woman holding me in her arms. Skin on skin was all I could think about. She could talk dirty to me all day long, but what I was craving most was intimacy with her. I needed her, and she needed me too. She moved off of me and extended her hand out for me to take.

  “When did you know that you wanted to be with me?” I asked her as we lay in bed wrapped up in each other, very naked.

  “There is something about you, Jake, that I can’t even articulate into words. I knew I had to have you, but you were so guarded with everyone around you. I don’t even believe I saw your teeth until you smiled at Tenley’s wedding. You were so hot in your suit, and I was fantasizing fucking you with you only wearing that blue tie that matched your eyes. I know you must be thinking I’m absolutely crazy with my wild thoughts, but guys have been doing it for years! Girls are entitled to some hot one night stands too.”

  “Is that all you wanted when we went back to my hotel room?”

  I hated to ask, but I wanted to know.

  “Yes, but I kind of had the feeling you did too. Am I wrong?”

  “No, you’re not, but then it was so much…”

  “More?”

  “Yeah, something like that. I tried to convince myself that it was a one-time thing, and we would go our separate ways, but then after I found your note, I wasn’t so convinced.”

  “That was fun. I had never done anything like that before, but something about you just excited me, and I wanted to see if what I was feeling was real. You know the rest of the story.”

  “Zoey, it can have a perfect ending if it’s me who you really want, not just the fantasy. I’m looking for more in my life. I want to get married, have a family. I want it all, and I’m asking you if you feel the same way?”

  She suddenly was quiet, too quiet, and I didn’t like it. I know I just dropped a lot of baggage from my past on her, but I needed her to communicate with me, not shut down every time I showed her my heart. I was chastising myself for pushing her. I understood that I came off strong, as patience was never one of my strong suits. I wanted her, it was that simple. I could work with some hesitation, knowing how much fun it would be to convince her to give us a chance.

  “Hey, are you still with me?” I finally asked.

  “I am, just deep in thought.”

  “Anything I can help you with?”

  “No, you’ve given me enough to think about, and I mean that in a good way. Jacob, why are you so sure about me?”

  Finally! She was talking, and now don’t fuck it up Paulson. Simply tell her without scaring the shit out of her. I shifted our bodies and pulled her right on top of me. I wanted to hold her face and look in her eyes when I told her my answer.

  “Zoey, I wasn’t looking for you when we met. I was not an easy man to be around. Most times I came off as cold and pretty much a dick. Just ask Jagger. I’m sure he won’t hold back on how we met.”

  She laughed and said, “I’ve heard about the pissing contest, go on.”

  “I won’t give you every detail about the women in my little black book, but one did exist, and it was filled with women I dated, had random hook-ups with, and some I called friends. But never one that I could actually say I was in love with, until Minela. She was my first love, and one I will never forget. Losing her in the manner I did, just broke me. I was walking, talking, breathing, but I wasn’t living. I gave up on ever finding love again, and then one day…there was you. You just took my breath away with your sassy mouth, pink streaks in your hair, and that gorgeous ass of yours that made my heart skip a beat or two. And after the night we shared, I was scared to death on how I was feeling. It was strong, Zoey, and I almost didn’t believe it. That’s why it was so easy to believe that it was a one-time thing and nothing more, but then you came to me, and I knew I was just fooling myself. You came at me with such a force, you knocked me on my ass, and then all I wanted was to mark you and make you mine.
”

  “You. Brought. Me. Back. To. Life. And I’ve never felt more alive than when I am with you. I don’t believe I can explain it any other way. This right here—you and me—just feels right. I haven’t had this in a very long time, and I want to just hold onto you with all my strength. You are not just a reason to forget my past. You, Zoey Steele, are my second chance.”

  “Thank you for telling me,” she said as she leaned in to kiss me.

  “So you don’t think I’m totally crazy?”

  “I totally think you are crazy, but if you want to be crazy in love with me, then that’s the best way to be.”

  “I want to make love to you, beautiful girl, but I just can’t…not here, and not before I tell you the reason why we are going to Boston.”

  “I’m listening.”

  “My meeting with Jack, wasn’t like anything I expected it to be. He shared some information with me about Minela’s murder and who was responsible for it. I didn’t want to believe it, but the proof was placed in my hands. I was so angry that I didn’t trust myself in the car with Jack, I wanted to just make him hurt for showing me the proof. I got out of the car and was raging inside, and that’s when I fell and hit my head on the ice. That’s why I was gone for so freaking long, because I was getting my head stitched up, and my heart torn out…again. The end of the nightmare I’ve been living is in Boston, and I have to face it once and for all, or all the dreams I am imagining with you will never happen if I don’t close the door to my past.”

  “Okay.”

  “Zoey, you must have questions, something to ask me.”

  “Jake, I see the conflict in your eyes. You are not that great at hiding your pain as well as you think you are. I see it, baby, and if I could take it away, I would, but that’s up to you. You do what you have to do, and when it’s over, I will be here waiting for you.”

  After our talk, we stayed in bed in each other’s arms, and just listening to Zoey’s heart made me feel complete. She was amazing, supportive, and so accepting of my past. I knew what I would be facing once I stepped off this plane and went to LaRocha with what I knew. After hearing Jack’s story, there was no way I could ever let this go, not even for Minela. She loved her father more than anything and would not want her family hurt, but I owed him nothing. He took her away from me, and I wanted him to tell me why.

  By the time we arrived at Boston Logan Airport, it was after midnight. We settled into our suite at the Ritz-Carlton. I drew a bath for Zoey, and then gave her a massage. She endured so much because of Marino, and now I had her flying cross-country to join me on my path of revenge toward LaRocha. After my personal attention to her sweet body, she was asleep before her head hit the pillow. I wanted nothing more than to crawl into bed with her, but I needed to call Duffy and prepare for tomorrow.

  “Wake up, beautiful girl.”

  I started kissing her on her neck, and then down her naked back. She shifted slightly, but she couldn’t fool me. She was awake and enjoying my morning wake-up call. When I finally reached her delectable mouth, she opened her eyes, and I swear I saw my reflection staring back at me. They were beautiful and sparkling with light.

  “God, I love you.”

  “How about loving on me for a while?” she sassily asked, knowing I knew she was naked underneath the sheet.

  “I wish I could, but I have business to take care of. The sooner I end this, the sooner I can come back for you, and we will begin the first day to the rest of our lives. How does that sound?”

  “It sounds perfect. Hurry back.”

  “I will, I promise.”

  And then I noticed her look slightly unsure. I lifted her chin with my finger to make her look at me.

  “Zoey, I can’t leave here until I know you are okay. What’s going on in your mind right now?”

  “I’m fine. It’s just the last time you left me in a hotel room…”

  She turned away and began to cry. The sight of her crying gutted me. I pulled her onto my lap, where she was straddling me.

  “I swear to you, baby, that I am coming back for you. You are perfectly safe here and have nothing to worry about.” She crushed her body to mine, and I could feel her slowly calming down. I needed to finish this with LaRocha and get Zoey out of this fucking city. This was the last place I wanted to be, but there was no turning back now.

  An hour later, I was sitting in an unmarked car in front of the LaRocha family home. This would be my first and last time I would ever lay eyes on this house.

  “One last time, Jake. Are you sure you want to do this?”

  “Duffy, I’ve never been surer in all of my life. You’ve seen the evidence. That motherfucker in there is responsible for his own daughter’s murder. He needs to say it, Duff, and I need to hear it.”

  “Jake, we will never be able to charge him for her murder or involvement in her murder. I just don’t see what good can come from this. This knowledge that you now have is from a former mob enforcer that we just cleared in a murder investigation. How the fuck can you even believe this to be true?”

  “I see the doubt. Duff, and you have the right to your opinion, but Jack had no reason to lie to me. Why would he? It serves no purpose. I’m not looking to bring him to the justice we have promised to serve to. You can join me in there and show him whatever you want, but I’m not a cop today. This is personal.”

  He sat there for a minute, rubbed his fingers through his balding hair, and then let out a deep sigh.

  “I’m with you, Jake. You do what you have to do, but know I will step in if I have to. You have suffered enough, and I’m not going to allow you to go down one more dark road, you hear me?”

  “I do, and thank you.”

  I took a deep breath before I knocked on the door to the brick home. This was an upscale neighborhood in Boston’s Beacon Hill. I looked down the street. All the homes were surrounded by snow-covered landscaping that probably came to life in the spring. Luxury cars were in the driveways, and I just shook my head at it all. No cop would ever be able to afford a home like this on their salary, but a no good, dirty one on the take easily could.

  “Jake? Are we doing this?” Duffy asked as he tapped me on my shoulder, bringing me back to the reason why I was here.

  “Yeah, we are.”

  I knocked hard a couple of times, and a housekeeper answered the door. She wouldn’t know me, and I chose to skip the pleasantries. I showed her my badge, and then Duffy followed suit. She opened the door wider and let us in. The house was disturbingly quiet. I asked if anyone else was in the home, and she said only Mr. LaRocha, who never left his study.

  His wife was in a private care facility after suffering a stroke that left her incapacitated. After losing her only daughter, she was never the same, slowly becoming a shell of the once full of life woman. Fucker! He lived in this pretentious home with no warmth left to it. This was what blood money buys.

  The housekeeper knocked on the study door, and he yelled out for her to go away. I told her to leave us. She turned and scurried off.

  I opened the door, and he shouted again, “What are you deaf? I told you to go away!”

  He remained in his chair, staring out the window, until he heard my voice. He turned around in shock. The last time we were together was the day we buried Minela.

  “Jacob?” He said my name as if he didn’t believe I was real and standing just a few feet away from him. “What…what are you doing here? We haven’t seen or heard from you since…”

  “Since…your daughter’s funeral? Where I watched my beautiful fiancée get lowered down into the cold earth.”

  “I’m not doing this with you, Jacob. I don’t know why you are here, but you need to get the hell out, right now,” he bellowed back at me.

  “I’m afraid I can’t do that, Joe.”

  “I have nothing to say to you, or your mute friend standing behind you.”

  “Well, I have a few things to say to you, and I am not leaving until I do. So shut the hell up, an
d don’t interrupt me.”

  Duffy took a few steps back and gave me the room I needed. As I looked around the room, my eyes found a picture of Minela in her Boston PD uniform. It looked like it was taken on her graduation day from the academy. She was surrounded by her brothers and parents. She looked so proud of her accomplishment.

  “So tell me, Joe, how much blood money paid for this house? The fancy cars? That fucking Rolex on your wrist? I know what you did, and I just want to know why? Why was the once-respected police chief of Boston in bed with the fucking mob? The same dirty business you owed nearly a million dollars to, and when you wouldn’t pay back your debts, they settled another way, right, Joe?”

  “Get out! Just leave me alone. How can you come into my home and spew lies about me? I loved her. She was my daughter!”

  He threw his glass and slammed his fists down to his desk.

  “A daughter that was sacrificed for your fucking gambling addiction! A daughter that was gunned down in the middle of the street, who died in my arms, you cold sonofabitch! I loved her. We were going to be married and would be today if you hadn’t been such a coward. You let her be killed, and then allowed me to believe that somehow it was my fault. How do you live with yourself knowing you are responsible for taking a life, a precious life who had everything to live for, but took the bullet that should have been for you?”

  “How do you live with yourself? You tell me why you did this! How could you?” Answer me, dammit! You can’t, can you? Because you are still a coward. You lost your daughter. Your wife is not your wife anymore. She’s nothing but an empty shell. Was it worth it? You get to sit here, day in and day out, drinking your scotch. You don’t get to feel sorry for yourself when she is rotting in the fucking ground because of you. You should be the one, not her.”

  He replied, “Don’t you think I would if I could? My beautiful girl…they took her from me.”