“Rough day. Decisions to make—hard decisions.”
“Anything I can help with?” Blake asked.
His dad’s genuine expression stopped him from an abrupt refusal. “I plan to move in May. A committee at the church has started looking for an interim replacement.”
Ann worried at the buttons on her dress. “No. You can’t mean it.”
“They’re ready. I’m ready.”
Blake’s brows angled downward in typical disapproving fashion. “Did something happen to precipitate this?”
Daniel couldn’t quite meet his dad’s eyes for fear that it would be obvious that he’d messed up and fallen in love with Lilly. “No, sir. When I crossed the last item off my list of goals, I realized it was time to commit to a start date at my new church.”
“You can’t leave,” Gran said. “I promised Talitha. We had it all worked out. You and Lilly.” She blinked at tears. “Perfect for each other.”
What? Shaking his head, he held up his hand to stop her. “I’m sorry, GranAnn, but you can’t play matchmaker. This is my life. My calling.”
“My work was my calling, too,” his dad said. “I’d grown up poor, so I was determined to make a decent living to give my family everything I never had. I was sure God wanted me to be the best provider I could.” He shook his head in disgust. “I let the drive to succeed rule my life.”
His dad had never admitted that. Never talked about being poor or about feeling driven to provide. Daniel had assumed his dad preferred work to family life, then later, that he needed to stay busy to deal with grief.
“Dad, why didn’t you ever tell me that?”
“Because I couldn’t see it. I thought all I was good at was providing. Had no clue how to relate to a hurting child. Now that I’ve had this time with you, God’s been showing me that I can be more than just a provider for my family. I want to be a part of your life.”
Daniel took two short breaths, trying to hold his emotions at bay. “I’d like that. I’m sorry that, soon, it’ll be from a distance.”
“Don’t do it, son. Don’t fall into the same trap I fell into, of assuming you know what’s best instead of trusting in God’s sovereign power.”
He stared into his dad’s eyes as he thought about all he would be giving up if he left.
Unable to eat a bite, he pushed away from the table. “I’ve already committed to going. If nothing else, the Foreman men are good at making a plan and following through.”
As he walked away, his grandmother grabbed his arm. “I’ve been praying about this. I’ve truly felt God leading me to help bring you and Lilly together.”
“Gran...”
“Don’t act too quickly. Please pray about Lilly, too.”
He steeled himself against the distress on her face. “I appreciate you caring about my happiness. But unless God gives me a strong direction otherwise, I’m going through with my plans.”
“I’m disappointed, son,” his dad said. Disappointed he wouldn’t get the chance for that father-son relationship? Or disappointed in Daniel himself?
Even with the protective wall he’d tried to slam in place, the words hurt.
* * *
Lilly tried her best to remain upbeat and hopeful. But Daniel had never called on Sunday. And he’d avoided coming to the office on Monday.
On the bright side, Jenna, who’d finally decided the church wasn’t out to break up her family, came that day to help with customers so Lilly could work with Belinda and the girls. She didn’t know for sure how many customers showed up, but it sounded like a good number. Business seemed to be picking up despite anything negative Vera shared around town.
Maybe that had something to do with the fact that each of the teen boys and girls considered it a matter of personal honor to win the shop at least four good customers.
Another positive was the huge donation of food and clothes the girls had brought that filled the back of Zaria’s SUV. As they’d transferred it to Lilly’s car, she was blown away by the abundance of items they’d collected at school and around their neighborhoods to go along with their scarves. Their excitement was contagious.
The girls drove away, all but Cricket, who stood out front waiting for Ricky to give her a ride home.
“You sure you don’t want me to run you by your house?” Lilly asked.
“No, I want to spend some time with Ricky.” She fidgeted, bit her lip. Then she let out an ear-piercing, happy squeal. “I can’t hold it in any longer. Ricky proposed!” She flashed her left fingers and wiggled them, a tiny diamond solitaire announcing their commitment to the world.
“What?” She grabbed Cricket’s hand, and thought the girl would break bones, her grip was so tight.
“He asked my mom and dad for my hand in marriage, all formallike. And they agreed! But only after we both graduate from high school. And we have to get good grades. And they’ll let him come to my house any time as long as we promise to wait until we’re married to...well, you know...” She sucked in a long, deep breath. “And we have to promise to finish college or technical school so they don’t have to support us forever.”
Lilly’s laughter bubbled out, along with the strong desire to squeal like Cricket. “So what did you say when he asked?”
“Well, duh! What do you think?” She nearly doubled over giggling, as much as she could bend with a baby in the way, anyway.
Lilly hugged the girl and held tight. Nice to see things looking up in a situation that nearly ended in tragedy.
“It won’t be easy,” Lilly felt compelled to say.
“Oh, I know. Believe me. We’re way too young to be starting a family, especially knowing our baby could have problems. But we’re willing to take the bad with the good, to make it work.”
Ricky came around the building then, pure happiness beaming on his face as he looked at his future wife. “Oh, man, you told her? I thought we were going to wait and tell everyone together.”
“It just popped out of me,” Cricket said.
He shook his head and laughed, then nodded toward his truck. “Come on, time to take you home to study.”
“Congratulations, Ricky,” Lilly said. She was smiling so big, it felt as if her eyes were squinted shut.
His Adam’s apple bobbed. “I owe you a lot. You helped me step up.”
“You’ll do a fine job.”
With a jerky motion, he threw his arms around her. The awkward hug only lasted a moment before he grabbed his fiancée’s hand and took off across the parking lot.
She swiped at tears as they drove off. Then she forced her emotions into check so she could make her deliveries.
She dropped the scarves and clothes at the clothes closet in Corinthia. Then she headed with the food to the new food pantry in Appleton.
There, in the back lot, sat Daniel’s car.
Her heart flittered, and her stomach seized into a nervous knot. Please give me the words, she prayed. And since he’d successfully avoided her the other day, preventing her from sharing her feelings, she added, And if it’s in Your will for me to have this talk with him, then please make him a captive audience.
A spark of hope made laughter bubble out of her for the second time that afternoon. She carried the first load inside and nearly chuckled at the way Daniel’s eyes widened when he saw her. The man did not want to have this conversation. He didn’t realize, though, she and Belinda had been praying for it since Sunday.
“Oh, hi, Lilly.”
“I brought the donations from the girls.”
“Oh...uh...great.” After a few awkward seconds, he seemed to come to his senses and hopped up. “I’ll help you.”
When they’d finished stacking the food on shelves, he stuffed his hands in his pockets and glanced around the room as if trying desperately not to look
at her.
Her heart stuttered when she realized Daniel was scared, plain and simple. Scared of what she would tell him. She nearly lost her courage. What if he outright rejected her admission? What if he didn’t feel the same way?
But then she remembered her prayers and the sense of peace she had about her decision to stay in Corinthia. Surely, God was leading her on this scary, new path.
She reached out and lightly touched his arm. “Daniel, I want—”
He jerked away as if she’d stung him. “I should go up front in case anyone else comes in.”
As if on cue, the front door creaked opened.
The relief in his expression sparked irritation, giving her the gumption she needed. “You’re going to have to talk to me at some point.”
“Let me help this person first.”
Instead of biding her time, she jumped in to pack up the food the guest requested. Which sped the process and left Daniel no choice but to listen to her once the man had left.
As soon as the door closed, she swallowed back her fear and stepped in front of him. “I was disappointed you ran from me on Sunday, as if trying to escape.”
“I’m sorry I never called.” He took a deep breath and stared at the ceiling. “Gran was upset I won’t change my mind and stay here permanently. My dad...well, we made some progress. But he basically thinks I’m running.”
“Why?”
“Says I’m afraid, that I’m making the same mistakes he made.” He checked his watch, stalked across the floor and flipped over the closed sign. “How can he all of a sudden claim to regret being away all the time when I was little? How can he act as if handing out advice to me now makes him the father I always needed but never had?” He clutched at the back of a chair, his knuckles white. “Sorry. Guess I’m still angry.”
His pain hurt her, a physical ache that made her want to reach out and hold him, comfort him. But touching would only complicate matters when they needed to talk.
“What happened after your mom died?”
He looked at her, his normally playful, sky-blue eyes now stormy, tormented. “He was a workaholic. Never home. Then after Mom died, he pretty much withdrew, swamped in his own grief.”
She could envision the eight-year-old version of Daniel, grieving, missing his mom, all alone without his father to depend on.
Daniel stared out a tiny window. Its frame had been painted so many times the wood looked rumpled and warped. “When I was really little, I didn’t understand what was going on. But once I got older, I tried everything to make him happy, to make him smile again. I practiced football in the heat of the summer until I’d throw up, working to be the best player on the team. I studied hard to get all A’s at school. To make the best score on my SAT. To date the prettiest girls. To get a football scholarship. To get accepted to Dad’s alma mater.”
She clenched her hands together as his words stabbed her like knife jabs. So much pain on his face. “You were a kid,” she said as if the words had been ripped out of her.
“Yeah, but I was his kid. And I wasn’t enough.”
Unable to stay away from him, she closed the distance. Wrapped her arms around his waist. “Daniel, I know what it’s like to not be enough. To have parents who were too wrapped up in their own problems to notice me. To have a fiancé who had to find happiness outside our relationship. You and I have been injured, but it doesn’t have to define us.”
He brushed back her hair from her face but didn’t speak, his eyes reflecting his turbulent thoughts.
Maybe what he thought was his calling wasn’t really a calling from God, but more a crutch to keeping him from working through his fears.
The thought made perfect sense and explained his actions. Hope blossomed. She had to tell him how she felt, to reassure him.
She put her hand on his cheek. “We can get past this, move on. To our future.”
His wall of defense slammed into place and was palpable.
“Daniel, don’t shut me out.”
“If we continue this conversation, it will only make my leaving more painful. And I am going to leave.” He pulled out of her arms, stalked to the back room and opened the door leading out to their cars. “You and I both know that no matter how much we care about each other, our lives will soon head in two directions.”
How could she ever let him know she loved him if he’d never listen? She rushed around him, shut the door and leaned against it, blocking the exit.
* * *
Panic hit Daniel full force. He had to get away from Lilly. She made him waver. Made him want. Made him long for things he couldn’t have.
He raked his fingers through his hair, mainly to keep from running them through the luxurious curls that spilled over her shoulders and practically called his name. “Please let me leave.”
“You’re going to hear me out.”
“No, I’m not. I’m going to—”
She placed her hand over his heart. He froze. By the time he came to his senses, she’d gripped his shirt and pulled him closer. “You’re going to hear me out before I lose my nerve.”
“Lilly, don’t. It’s already arranged. I’m moving to Valdosta.”
Her arms snaked around his waist, wrapping him in her warmth, in her soft flowery fragrance. “You see, that’s the problem.” She rose up on her toes and stared at his lips. “I don’t want you to leave. I want you to stay here, with me.”
His pulse pounded in his ears as he tried to back away. But his feet refused to budge, mired in his indecision. She stared into his eyes, though, inviting him without words to stay right where he was, in the circle of her arms. And right then, he wanted that. Wanted to feel secure and happy.
As he’d feared, he had no willpower to leave her. He wanted to stay here and love her. To make a life with her.
“I can’t fight this,” he whispered as he cupped her face and ran his thumbs over her cheeks. He backed her against the door, closing the space between them. When his lips finally met hers, she sighed and melted into him, as if she’d finally accomplished what she’d set out to do.
And he loved it. He was glad of it at this moment. Glad she’d forced him to face the truth.
He deepened the kiss, pouring all the love he’d been holding back, all the love he’d wanted to give but hadn’t allowed himself to. He scattered kisses on her cheeks, her temples. Along the soft curve of her jaw to just below her ear. Words of love formed on his lips and almost slipped out. “You’re so beautiful,” he whispered.
Her head fell back, and he trailed kisses to the hollow of her neck.
“I love you, Daniel.”
He plowed his hands into her hair and kissed her again, craving the feel of her soft lips, the taste of her.... But the words she’d spoken dragged him back to reality.
Too far. This has gone too far.
They couldn’t be together. Loving her was dangerous. At best, he’d uproot her over and over, making her unhappy. At worst, she’d end up resenting their life together and leave him.
He pulled away, trying to catch his breath. “This can’t happen again.”
“I’ve decided to stay in Corinthia. To make a life here.” Why wasn’t she as breathless as he was? She sounded calm, assured.
He tried to back away, but she tightened her arms around him.
“I feel God wants me here, and I think maybe He brought us together.” A heated blush stole across her cheeks.
He ran his finger over the pinkness, one last touch. “God’s calling me away. You’ve known that all along.”
“I’m learning to trust God’s plan for my life, to give up control.” She lifted to her toes again and kissed one corner of his mouth then the other. “I want you to trust me with your heart.”
Like someone injecting him with a dose of reality, ice wat
er ran through his veins.
The shock gave him the power to step away. “I’m sorry, Lilly. I care about you, and I’ve enjoyed working with you. But I can’t let romantic feelings keep me from my dream of helping people.”
She put her hands on his shoulders. “Look at how you’ve helped Ricky and Ian and Cricket.”
The warmth of her hands made him wish...just maybe...No. “I’m leaving no matter how badly I’d like to stay with you.”
“Don’t you see? God brought us together for a reason. To serve this church and this community together. Look what we’ve accomplished already.”
Her smile broke his heart. And he now had to break hers. “I’ve talked to the church leaders, and Belinda’s already looking for my replacement. I’ve committed to the church in South Georgia. I start in May.”
Her hands slid down his arms and fell to her sides. The hurt on her face made him sick at his stomach. He reached out....
She flinched. “What do you mean, you’ve committed?”
He opened the door, knowing full well she would leave and probably never speak to him again. “They’ve signed a lease for a place for the new church to meet. And I’ve given them my word that I’m coming.”
She sucked in a breath. Stared at him as if he was the lowlife she first thought him to be, back when she’d accused him of being like her dad. The way she would look at him every day of their lives if he selfishly asked her to marry him and be a part of his ministry.
“I thought you felt the same.” Her eyes pooled with tears.
He gritted his teeth until they hurt, knowing he had the words to ease her pain. But he locked them inside, looking into her eyes, wishing there was another way.
She looked away. “Have you considered asking me to go with you?”
The request sent a shock wave through his body. “And have you grow to hate me for uprooting you over and over? No. I’m sorry. So sorry.”
How was he going to pretend she didn’t love him? Worse yet, how was he going to pretend he didn’t love her more than he’d ever loved anyone before?
Some of the fight returned to her eyes, enough to carry her out the door. And out of his life.
Georgia Sweethearts Page 18
