Destroyed and Detained

by Danelle Helget

  “Yes!” I interrupted and stood up.

  Miss Kitty’s face was lit up with excitement as she quickly turned her face under the table and looked for more. There were three more pairs! Dang, they were a bit tight, but I didn’t care! We agreed that we each got two pairs. We stuck them into our bags and then tried to act normally. We decided we would not tell Tannya. We wanted to keep them and we weren’t sure how she’d take that. She was pretty focused on getting some good treasure for her booty entry.

  Tannya came and joined us, and we filled a bunch of plastic shopping bags with stuff, everything from household, to shoes, to clothes. I stuck a few shirts into my secret bag too. Before we walked away, Tannya looked around. “See, she won’t even notice. There’s still a ton of stuff here.”

  Miss Kitty winked at me. I smiled and felt an evil presence in my stomach. Must be my bad girl coming out. This was the first time I had stolen anything in my life.

  I popped the hatch to the Jeep and Tannya dropped her bags in first and headed to the passenger-side door. Miss Kitty and I rearranged our bags, each putting our secret bag behind a blanket I had back there. “Get them to me later,” Miss Kitty whispered. I nodded and winked at her, then skipped to my door.

  Just as I got back into the Jeep, Derek called.

  “Hello?”

  “Hey, sweetness, you behaving?” he asked. I swear sometimes he was the psychic.

  “Of course!”

  “Good, I knew you would be.”

  Ugh, now my good mood was gone and guilt was taking over. “I hate when you think I’m a better person than I am,” I told him.

  “Oh? Now I’m worried.”

  Silence.

  “Just kidding,” I said to break the silence. “So what are you doing? How’s work going?”

  “Work’s good.”

  “Well, that’s good. Why ya calling?”

  “Not sure, something just made me feel like I should check in on you.”

  “Ha, ha, what … are you my dad now? You’re silly. You should get back to work and go catch those bad guys. Nothing interesting going on here,” I told him.

  Miss Kitty and Tannya laughed out loud. I shot them looks as I turned the Jeep onto the road.

  “Where are you right now?”

  “I’m just out and about with Tannya and Miss Kitty.”

  “Uh huh. Well, tell them hi for me and stay out of trouble. I’ll talk to ya soon.”

  I disconnected and took a deep breath. He sounded annoyed. I would be too if he were as much work as I was.

  I drove back to the diner and dropped the girls off so that they could get their cars. Then we went back to my place. Before they arrived, I took the secret bags in the house. I wondered where she got the designer stuff. She must not have known the value of them if she was selling them so cheap at a garage sale. Although Tannya said she did sell some online, too. I walked back to my bedroom and dumped the stuff on my bed. I had three gorgeous shirts, and two new pairs of LOUIS VUITTONS!

  I did another happy dance then put the vanity pumps back on. Oh, gosh, they were so beautiful, and my feet never looked better. I could see why women loved them so much. I strutted down the hallway in them like I was on a cat walk. Back and forth up and down the hallway, adding dramatic turns and hair flips, and not smiling of course, just like the professionals.

  I thought I better get back to the Jeep. Tannya and Miss Kitty would be right behind me. I was wrapping up my last turn and heading into my room when I stepped wrong and twisted my ankle. CRAP! I dropped to the ground and grabbed my ankle. Oh, my gosh, it hurt. The sting was incredible. I tried to wiggle it right away and get it loose so it wouldn’t bruise and tighten up. I heard a car door and tried my best to get to my feet. I hobbled to my bedroom and threw the bags and the shoes into the closet just as I heard a knock at the door. I hobbled through the living room fighting back tears and opened the door to Tannya.

  “Hey girl, oh … what’s wrong?” she asked and noticed right away I was in pain.

  “I just twisted my ankle. It hurts so badly!” I told her and hopped to the couch.

  “Geez, how did you do that?” she asked and went to the kitchen.

  “I was running into the house to go to the bathroom and just tripped. I must have just stepped wrong on it.”

  She returned with ice wrapped in a towel and handed it to me. “Here, ice it.”

  There was another door knock, and I yelled for Miss Kitty to come in. Tannya gave her the update, and she came over and looked at my foot. “Wow, you’re kind of a mess lately.”

  “Thanks!”

  “Take some Tylenol or something, ’cause we need you! You can’t be out with an injury. Stitches and a sprained ankle won’t stop Sara Narra, right?”

  “I don’t know. This hurts really bad,” I whined.

  “Here, take these,” Miss Kitty said pulling two small pills from her purse and put them in my hand.

  I looked at the unlabeled pills and asked her what they were. “Never mind that. They won’t hurt you. They’ll relax you and help with the pain and inflammation. Trust me. Think of them as little happy pills.”

  I was in desperate need of pain relief, and the lil’ devil in me said to take them, so I did. While I waited for them to kick in, Tannya and Miss Kitty went out the Jeep and got the bags of soon-to-be-treasure. I sent Tannya out to the garage for old newspapers and Miss Kitty to the kitchen for beer. We clinked bottles. I made a toast, “To gold, and all the riches in the deep blue sea!” I was surprised by the words and enthusiasm. I didn’t know that was coming out of my mouth until it was said. Weird.

  We went out on the lawn and BAM! The cannon fired. “HOLY SHIT!” I yelled, and almost toppled over on my bad ankle. Tannya and Miss Kitty both screamed. It was much louder outside.

  “Boy, I sure hope Ocean’s Lie has a cannon!” Tannya said.

  “We should get one!” Miss Kitty said. “We should get a cannon for Ella Vashow!”

  “What? No, we don’t know the first thing—” I started.

  “We can learn! I bet there’s a You Tube on it,” Miss Kitty said.

  “We don’t have time! The pirates are coming tomorrow!” I protested, but, actually, I liked the idea.

  “Where there’s a will, there’s a way,” Miss Kitty said. “I have to go to the bathroom. I’ll be right back,” she said and excused herself.

  Tannya brought me a chair from the patio and laid the newspapers on the lawn. Then she grabbed a few bags of stuff and spread out some of the items on the paper.

  Miss Kitty finally joined us and grabbed the spray paint. They started shaking cans and spraying. We all felt a bit weird spray painting anything and everything gold. There were a few vases, some figurines, a couple small wood shelves, some old missmatched china, junk jewelry, old frying pans, a few picture frames, and then some soft items that needed to be material dyed. I started working on those. The girls brought me a five-gallon pail, the Rit dye, and the hose. I turned the water gold and threw in stuffed animals, some old throw pillows, a canvas bag, some old hats, and a couple blankets. When we were done, all of the items and half my yard was gold. Out of room on the newspaper, we’d just sprayed things in the grass. Fifty-six pieces, which was good because I didn’t know if the blankets would dry in time.

  Tannya’s phone rang and she answered it. She looked very excited and pointed to the phone while trying to talk calm and normal. She stepped away while she spoke.

  “Must be her pirate friends,” I said to Miss Kitty.

  “I bet they want her to join them tonight.”

  “Probably.”

  Miss Kitty went in and got us three more beers. It was getting cool and dark so we went inside and sat at the table, hoping the treasure would dry before the sun set all the way and the dew formed.

  “That was Captain Morgan,” Tannya eagerly told us. “He and First Mate Flying Dutchman and Long John want me to meet them tonight!”

  “Really! Where?” I asked with a grin
that again surprised me.

  “At Morning Glory at 7:00 p.m. I have to bring the fifty pieces of booty in a discrete container,” she told us. “And they said to come alone.”

  12

  We all looked at each other kind of panicked. “That’s in an hour!” I said and stood up. “The treasure won’t be dry by then!” Why was I so excited? I was practically screaming.

  Tannya and Miss Kitty both looked at me. “How’s the ankle?” Miss Kitty asked.

  “The pills kicked in, didn’t they?” Tannya said with a smile and looked at Miss Kitty.

  Miss Kitty smiled and winked back. I thought about it. It didn’t hurt that bad anymore. The ankle was still swollen and getting black and blue, but the pain was barely noticeable. And I had a ton of energy.

  “I feel great!” I told them, “but we have to dry the treasure.” They went outside and hauled the treasure in. I had the clothes dryer running on high with the soft stuff inside. Tannya had my hair drier, and Miss Kitty had a box fan. They had the hard items on the dining room table and were moving the fan and hair drier back and forth trying to speed up the process. Everything was still very tacky because the sun had gone down and the temps were in the low sixties.

  I ran through the house looking for boxes and finally found enough to fit all the treasure in. The blankets and the pillows stayed back because they were not dry yet, but Tannya had her fifty pieces. We packed the four boxes into her car and sent her on her way.

  We had her wired, of course, and we had the listening device with us. We followed her to Morning Glory in Miss Kitty’s Benz.

  “We definitely got our money’s worth out of this equipment,” Miss Kitty said.

  “Yes, we did!” I agreed. “We’re professionals at this. We come to conquer!” I said and threw up my hand at her for a high five. She shot me a look and turned her eyes back on the road.

  “Maybe next time one pill will be enough,” Miss Kitty said.

  We pulled onto Main Street and circled slowly as we watched Tannya park and walk in. A few cars were parked out front and one truck parked the long way on the street with a trailer on the back.

  We parked down a few spaces and turned the car off. After a few minutes, we could hear Tannya introduce herself. We quietly leaned over the speaker box.

  “Hi, I’m Tannya, you must be Captain Morgan.”

  “Yes, I am,” a gruff voice said. “Sit yerself down.” There was some rustling and then more voices.

  “I’m Flying Dutchman.”

  “And I’m Long John.”

  “It’s nice to meet you both. I’m so excited to be part of this. This will be so much fun! I read about this on the internet, and, boy, I wish I’d known about this years ago!” she told them.

  “That’s nice,” Captain Morgan’s voice said seriously with a pirate accent. “Did ye bring yar booty?”

  “Ha! Ha! Ha!” Tannya let out a belt of laughter. “Oh, wow, you even talk like pirates! Love the outfits too, by the way.”

  “Yer captain asked ye a question. Ye be doing right by him by answer’n him,” Flying Dutchman growled.

  “Oh, yes. Sorry. Yes, sir … er, yes, Captain. My booty, fifty pieces of gold is in my car in boxes. I didn’t know if you wanted it in here.”

  “No, we can get that later. Now here’s what we are gonna be doing, first thing. I need to know everything ye know about the ship that’s near yer friend’s property. Sara was her name?”

  There was a moment of silence.

  “Arg! Answer ye captain!” Flying Dutchman snapped again.

  “Ah … yes. But she doesn’t know much. She just woke up and it was there. She was very surprised.” Tannya sounded nervous now.

  “Did she mention seeing us?” Captain Morgan asked.

  “Yeah, did she ask about us?” Long John asked with energy in his voice. I could almost see his boyish grin.

  “Yes, she mentioned she saw three pirates, and they ran away, but that was all she said.”

  “Was she angry? Did she call the police?” Long John asked her.

  “No.”

  “Oh … good,” Long John said. I heard a smack. “Hey!” he whined.

  “Stay focused!” Flying Dutchman warned.

  “Do ye know the location of their treasure?” Captain asked her.

  “No, I don’t know anything.”

  “How about the real name of the Captain.”

  “No,” Tannya said again. “I’m new to all this. I just think it looks like fun to play pirates. I thought I’d join.”

  “Tell me about yar friend,” Captain Morgan demanded.

  “Like what?” Tannya asked him.

  “Arg, like how long she’s known about the ship, and who made it. Whose ship is it?”

  “She doesn’t know anything. She’s owned the house for less than a year. She doesn’t know the guy who built it. All she knows is he lives across the lake. She saw some trees cut down and that’s it.”

  “Does she know what he looks like?”

  There was a moment of silence. “No, she doesn’t. Why? What does any of this have to do with my friend?” Tannya asked.

  I looked at Miss Kitty. We both had confused looks.

  “Argh! Nothing. It’s just best to know all that we can to make a good attack.”

  Tannya sounded concerned. “This is all just role-playing, right? This is just a fun game for a day or so?”

  Flying Dutchman laughed. “Bloody hell! I love these scallywags, they think this is all just a game, something to do on a weekend because they’re bored. No, this ain’t for a day or two, some of us been doing this for years. Some LARPS are generations deep and been organized for years and years. What say you? A day or two? Arrr! Maybe it be best ye find a different crew that doesn’t care. We are here to—”

  “That’s enough!” Captain Morgan scolded. “She be learnin’ as she goes. She’ll be good to have around. We need more buccaneers anyways. I’ll be given the information she’ll need from now on. Ye settle in and shut yer trap.”

  Captain seemed angry at him. It didn’t seem like he was enjoying the LARP as much as Dutchman, or maybe he was tired of playing it … or he was a good actor and staying in character. I didn’t like either.

  “All right,” Captain continued. “Let me think for a moment.”

  There was an awkward silence and then he spoke again. “Tonight, in one hour, you’ll lead us out to yer friend’s house to show us where the ship was built. We’ll wait here, eat, and leave when it’s good and dark. I want to see the location of the ship owner’s home. I want to know if anyone else is living there with him.”

  “Do we have a ship?” Tannya asked.

  “Long John is going to launch it tomorrow at dawn,” Flying Dutchman said.

  “Is it big? How are you going to get it into the water?” Tannya asked.

  “Arg, commanding the ship is my problem, not yours. It’s big enough for now.”

  “Yeah, we only need it fer a short while, until we take over Poseidon’s Zebra Mussel anyway,” Long John said.

  “Oh, we’re taking the ship? I thought we were just stealing the treasure,” Tannya said.

  “They plan to sink the treasure, and none of us are certified scuba divers. We won’t be able to get to it, if we don’t get aboard,” Flying Dutchman told her.

  “If ye agree to be on our crew, then ye agree to do what you’re told and not repeat any of what’s made known to ye. This is a verbal, binding agreement,” Captain told her sternly.

  “Yeah we live by the pirate code!” Long John said.

  “Parley?” Tannya asked.

  “Aye, parley,” Captain answered.

  “Now let’s eat!”

  We listened in while they ate, but there wasn’t much more said. When the meal was over, we watched as they walked out the door. They were all decked out in pirate outfits and looked really out of place.

  “We be following ya to the lake. Ye need to be showing us where on the lake the ship was built. I
want to know the location of the owner’s residence,” Captain Morgan said.

  “Yes! Let’s follow them!” I yelled with excitement. Miss Kitty jumped.

  “Geez, you scared me!” she said with her hand on her chest.

  “Sorry, I scared myself a little too. What were the pills you gave me? I keep getting these bursts of excitement out of nowhere.”

  “Never mind about the pills. I don’t think we should follow. They’ll see us. It’s not like we can hide in traffic,” Miss Kitty said. “I think I should drop you off at home, and we should call it a night when Tannya gets back. I doubt they’re doing much more tonight.”

  We watched as Tannya went to her trunk and handed them each a box and then carried one herself over to the trailer parked on the street. They unlocked and opened the back and put the treasure in, then quickly closed and locked it again.

  When Tannya got in her car and started down the road, the pirates followed in the truck. I really wanted to see what pirates put in their trailer.

  I called Tannya’s cell. She answered. I told her we’d heard everything and for her to come to my house when she was done with them and let me know what happened, and not to tell them that Val lived there or that she was my aunt, to just keep playing dumb. She agreed and I disconnected.

  Miss Kitty dropped me off at home and turned down the invite to stay and wait for Tannya. “I need to get back to Smoochy Poo. I bet she’s lonely. Call me and let me know if anything else happens.”

  “Okay. Otherwise I’ll probably see you tomorrow,” I told her.

  “Oh, you will!” she said with a wink and left.

  Something was up with her. Not sure what, but it felt like she was hiding something. This made me nervous because she could be very resourceful.

  I hung my jacket and purse on the hook and then hobbled to my room to see my shoes again. I put one on and then tried the other but my ankle was still very swollen and it wouldn’t fit. I was so bummed. After a minute I took them off and kissed them and set them in the closet and closed the doors so they didn’t get dusty.

  After I limped into the kitchen, I drank a big glass of water to push the pills through faster. They were awesome for the pain. My ankle didn’t hurt at all anymore, but it was swollen and had limited range of motion. But the side effects made me feel bi-polar. One second I had energy and spirit, the next I could fall asleep, then a second later I was just so happy! I was trying to control it.