Destroyed and Detained

by Danelle Helget

  “I don’t know.” She let out a sigh. “He’s been kind of a jerk the last couple days. He’s constantly pacing and checking on things he’s already checked on and looking all around with his spyglass. He hasn’t been off the ship much in the last two days and hasn’t slept much, either. And every time I try to talk to him he’s rude and snappy.”

  “Did you try saying ‘game off,’” I asked with a giggle.

  “Yes,” she answered seriously. “He won’t go into ‘game off’ mode. I’ve been on the ship with him more and more these last two days and he’s very adamant about getting the treasure sunk. That’s what he’s working on right now. Then all of a sudden he was looking at a truck in your yard and told me to call you.”

  “Oh. Well the truck was just delivering something for my boat. So tell him not to worry about it. Do you think he’s scared to lose the LARP battle and that his treasure will be stolen before he sinks it?” I winked at Miss Kitty.

  “Probably, and all of a sudden he’s super protective of it. Up until yesterday I was helping to package it and tying the weights on, and now he snaps at me if I’m near it without him present. It’s like he doesn’t trust me all of a sudden. I mean really, I’m on his team! I love this dress up like a pirate and play games stuff! I haven’t had this much fun in a while. But it doesn’t seem fun for him anymore. He’s taking it way too seriously.”

  “Well, if he bothers you too much, come over to my house. You’re welcome here anytime,” I told her.

  “Thanks, hun. Before I let you go … you haven’t seen any more of the other pirate guys have you? Apparently there’s been some talk in town about ships and pirates. Captain’s very unhappy about that. He wants total secrecy about this.”

  “Well, I doubt he’s the only one who knows. Law enforcement has been out there, and Tannya works at the diner. She was with when we bailed you out. I think the secret’s out!”

  “I get that, but Captain’s in a mood and not happy. He also wanted me to ask what was up with the raft you own. Why was it on the lake this morning, and why do you have it? He thinks you might be tied in with another pirate LARP group that’s been stalking us.”

  “The raft belongs to Ocean’s Lie. It’s not mine and I don’t know anything about them except that they seem to be trespassing over here a lot.”

  “So you’re not on their team?”

  “No, I’m not on their team.” I half-lied. Even though Val was my aunt, all was fair in love and war, I told myself. I looked at Miss Kitty and she nodded and put her finger over her lips and smiled.

  “All right. Well, keep me posted if anything changes or you notice anything strange.”

  “Okay, thanks. Have fun!” I told her and disconnected.

  “It seems Captain Caesar’s upset. He’s getting nervous about his treasure,” I told Miss Kitty.

  “Wouldn’t it be fun if we got the treasure from both of them and won?!”

  “That’d be awesome!” I said with a smile. “We come from out of nowhere, knowing nothing about a LARP before three days ago, and suddenly we’re the highest-valued group! Just a few small-town girls, kicking ass and takin’ … gold!”

  We giggled. Then I heard a car door in the driveway. Pepper and Miss Kitty got up and looked out the window. “She’s here!” Miss Kitty said and opened the door.

  “Hey, girls!” Tannya said. She looked at me and tipped her head. “Oh, no, your ankle still hurting?”

  “Yeah it was, but it’s getting better by the second. The throbbing is gone and swelling’s down again,” I told her peeking under the ice pack. I took the ice pack off and returned it to the freezer.

  “So did I miss anything? What’s the surprise?” Tannya asked eagerly.

  “Well, one is right here,” Miss Kitty said kneeling down by the box on the floor. “The other two we’ll show you in a minute.”

  Tannya sat down on the floor by Miss Kitty and watched. I sat back down on the couch. Miss Kitty ripped the tape off the box and opened it up. She reached in and pulled out a black sweatshirt. It was a cute, fitted, front zip one. On the breast pocket area was a white skull and crossbones applique and the words “Ella Vashow” embroidered under it in bright pink thread. The bones were glittery.

  “AHH!”I screamed. “That is super cute!”

  “I love it! Do we all get one?” Tannya asked.

  Miss Kitty flipped it around and showed us the other side. In big letters across the back it said Candee Barre. She tossed it in her lap and grabbed another. That one said Sara Narra. She tossed it to me. The last one was a few sizes bigger and said Captain Tannya Tytass on it. Tannya grabbed it, stood up and put it on over the long sleeve shirt she had on. I pulled off my sweatshirt and pulled mine on, too. It fit perfectly.

  “Thank you so much! This is awesome!” Tannya said and gave Miss Kitty a hug.

  “Yeah, thanks a lot!” I told her. “You work fast!”

  “It wasn’t easy to get next day stuff, but if you offer to pay more, they seem to be able to get it done!” she told us and pulled her sweatshirt on. “One more thing,” she said, reaching inside the box again.

  “Here,” she said, passing us each a pink bandana. I looked it over. If I folded it correctly, it had a skull and crossbones on the front. We all went into the bathroom and folded them and tied them around our heads. Except mine was putting pressure on my stitches, so I had to take it right back off. I was super bummed about that, but Miss Kitty took it and tied it around my right bicep. It looked cool so I left it there.

  “All right, let’s get Tannya a spiked cider, and then we’ll show her the other two surprises,” Miss Kitty said and headed to the kitchen.

  “Woohoo! Spiked cider? Okay!”

  “Have you never had one?” Miss Kitty asked, shocked.

  “Apple cider, right?” Tannya asked.

  “Yes, but spiked with alcohol.”

  “No, ma’am. I told you before I ain’t never had much more than a beer and that martini that one time.”

  “This will be much better than that!” I assured her.

  Miss Kitty mixed her one up and handed it to her. Then she got our mugs from the living room and topped them off.

  I was feeling pretty good. Pain was gone, and I wasn’t crabby at all. We sat there and talked for a bit. Tannya was pretty pissed that she hadn’t heard from Ocean’s Lie yet.

  “I bet you won’t hear from them,” I said.

  “They have our treasure!” Tannya said.

  “Oh, yeah! They do!” Miss Kitty remembered. “We’ll have to get that back!”

  “Oh, it’s on!” Tannya said. “No one ignores Captain Tannya Tytass!” she said and threw her drink back. “Oh! Oh! Oh!” She had her head tipped back and cider still in her mouth. She covered her mouth with her hand and finally swallowed. “Bad idea, still hot!” she said panting.

  We laughed at her as she ran to the freezer door and hit the ice button. She caught an ice cube and stuck it in her mouth. “Mmmm.” She looked relieved. Until a second later when she looked scared. “HMMMM!” she mumbled pointing frantically at her closed lips.

  “What?” Miss Kitty said with worry on her face.

  “Her lips are frozen to the ice cube now!” I laughed. “Go to the sink and put your lips under the water.”

  She rushed over and did that and a few seconds later she was free and the ice cube was in the sink.

  “Oh, my God!” she screamed. “Owww! I’m not sure what was more painful!” She went to the bathroom. Miss Kitty and I tried to hide our laughter. “I’m not going to be able to eat or drink for a week!” she said, looking upset.

  “Well, let’s go outside and show you the surprises. That’ll make you feel better,” I said.

  “Oh, they’re outside?”

  Miss Kitty and I led her through the door and down the front steps. Then Miss Kitty covered her eyes and told her to walk forward. Slowly she did, and when they were in front of the pontoon Miss Kitty stopped her.

  “Surprise
!” she yelled and uncovered her eyes.

  Tannya looked at the letters on the boat and started clapping and screeching. “Oh, wow, that looks great! I love it!” Miss Kitty and I watched her face as she spotted the cannon. “What is that?” she said, pointing. “Is it real? Do we get to shoot it?”

  “Yes, it’s real,” I told her.

  “Yes, we’re going to shoot it right now! We waited for you to get here,” Miss Kitty said.

  “Oh, wow! This is so sweet,” she said, looking at the cannon and the pontoon.

  When we got to the end of the dock we each reached down and picked up a ball from the crate on the dock. They were heavy. We set them down on the floor of the boat next to the cannon. Miss Kitty sat down across from Tannya in the front, and I sat in the captain’s chair.

  “This is crazy,” I said. I meant it, but I was also feeling all in!

  “Crazy good!” Tannya said. “We need a plan!” she said and up went her fist again. I gave a huff of laughter.

  “I think we should boat out a ways and shoot towards the left side of your driveway. There’s plenty of room and even if it goes too far, there’s trees to stop it back there.

  We sat and looked at the property. “And if it goes too short it will just hit the water,” Tannya added.

  “Sounds good to me,” I said with a nod. I reached in the dry storage compartment and got the key out. After I lowered the motor into the water, I turned the key. She started right up. It was just a four-stroke, forty-horse so it was fairly quiet and pretty slow. “Tannya, can you untie us from the dock?”

  After Tannya pushed us off, I put it in gear and turned the boat to open water. We motored out towards the ship. The boat was lower in the water, and I could tell the weight was affecting the motor’s strength, but the floats still looked okay. Low, but okay. We didn’t want to get too close yet. As we motored around, we decided that as soon as we noticed the Ocean’s Lie crew, we would do what we could to get their treasure and then take off to the other ship and take theirs too.

  “What happens when we have everyone’s treasure?” Miss Kitty asked. “Does someone sound a bell or bring you an award or something?”

  We both looked to Tannya. “I’m not sure,” she admitted. “I think that everyone just kind of heads home and then you go on the computer and change the rankings and list how big your treasure is and you’re moved up. They list when the next battle is, and you can join in again if you want.”

  “Is today listed on the site?” I asked.

  Tannya shrugged, so Miss Kitty pulled out her smart phone. “It’s four o’clock already,” she announced and then searched for the answers. I stopped the boat and put the anchor down. “It’s not on the website,” Miss Kitty told us.

  “Huh, well good. Then we won’t have much competition if it’s just the three teams, and Ocean’s Lie is short a player. It’s four o’clock, they lost their chance with me.” Tannya said and looked mad. “You say you’re going to call, then you should call. At least have the decency to text!” She rolled her head around, angry.

  “That’s good, because for the record, this was your idea. You’re the captain, and we need orders to follow,” I told her.

  She straightened up in her seat and looked proud. “That’s right, I am the captain. My first order is that from now on we all are in ‘game on’ mode, and we have to use pirate voices.”

  “Aye, aye, Captain!” Miss Kitty said with a grin and a nod. She looked ready for fun. For a second I pictured her as a young child. I wondered if anyone ever played with her … if she ever got dirty, or maybe she was just the kid who stayed home and painted her nails. That was probably the case and why she was the way she was. I bet for the first time in her life she had friends, and just really wanted to play. It surprised me how different she seemed now compared to when I first met her. I liked her like this.

  “Shiver me timbers! Methinks this here is our spot, mateys. You scallywags ready the cannon,” she told us in her pirate voice.

  I burst out laughing. She shot a glance in my direction and snapped at me. “Ye best be doing what yer told, or you’ll be the first to walk the plank.” She said it with a stern pirate voice and very serious eyes. I waited a second for the just-kidding head shake or smile, but it never came. She wasn’t playing around. I looked at Miss Kitty, who was smiling and trying to hide it and look busy.

  “Sara, did you bring the paper with the directions on it?” she asked me.

  “Hey, it’s Sara Narra, now!” Tannya snapped again.

  “Sorry,” Miss Kitty looked surprised.

  “SORRY WHAT?”

  Miss Kitty looked at me for support and I just shrugged my shoulders. “Ah, sorry … Captain! Sorry, CAPTAIN TYTASS!” she said, turning her voice to pirate and saluting her.

  “Better!” Tannya said, then looked at me.

  “Ah, yes … ahem … Aye, they’re in me pocket,” I said in my best accent and handed the paper to Miss Kitty. She read it out loud.

  “‘One, cover the air vent to choke the barrel and suffocate any sparks from any previous firings. Failure to do this may result in the cannon firing when it’s not safe for it to do so.’ We don’t need to do that.”

  “Next it says, ‘insert a damp sponge rod into the barrel of the cannon to clear out any hot debris that may remain in the barrel from previous firings. This may seem like a waste of time, particularly in a real war situation, but it is another necessary safety measure.’”

  “Next!” Tannya said with authority.

  “All right … next, ‘ready a charge by removing the charge from its bag and placing it down the barrel of the cannon.’”

  “What say you?” Tannya shot her a confused look. “What’s a charge? And what’s a bag?”

  “That’s the gun powder for the cannon, Captain.” Miss Kitty opened the package and threw the contents into the cannon, then gave us a look and a shoulder shrug.

  “Arrr, looks good to me,” I said.

  Miss Kitty looked back at the paper. “‘Ram the charge down to the base of the cannon’s barrel using a ramrod.’” Tannya picked up the ramrod and tapped it in. Then she set the rod back down.

  Miss Kitty continued, “Insert a cannonball into the cannon.’”

  Tannya reached down and grabbed one of the balls and heaved it up and into the opening. It rolled down and banged at the bottom. We all walked over and looked in to the dark opening.

  “Okay?” Tannya said looking at Miss Kitty.

  “Umm … ‘remove cover from the air vent and carefully insert a priming wire (fuse). Be certain to insert the fuse deep enough to make contact with the charge, but not so deep that you can’t light it.’”

  I looked at the back end of the cannon, seeing a small circle with a cover. I popped the cover off and there was a small opening. I walked over to the seat near the rear of the pontoon and grabbed the scissors and fuse. I cut about a ten-inch section off. I slowly put it in the hole and fed it in until I felt resistance. At that point there was about three inches sticking out. I stepped back and looked up at them.

  Tannya was wide-eyed. I couldn’t tell if it was fear, or excitement. She looked over at Miss Kitty.

  Miss Kitty quickly put her face back in the paper. “‘Aim the cannon taking into account distance, trajectory, and wind speed.’” She paused and looked up. “There isn’t any wind.”

  I opened the front door on the pontoon, which barely cleared the cannon’s nose. I wasn’t sure if we could push it forward, but I suggested we get it to the front. We all pushed and were able to move it forward. I tipped the nose of it up a little. The boat was facing the left side of my driveway. All of our cars were in the driveway, but we were pointed far to the left of them. It should land past the bank of the water but before the trees.

  The front of the boat went down a little. So we all moved to the back to even the weight. I looked at Miss Kitty.

  “‘Light the fuse, and run away,’” she said, reading off the last point of the in
structions with a half-smile. With that she folded the paper and sat down.

  “Well, tighten your boot straps, wenches. We’re going to light her up.”

  I handed Tannya the lighter. “Go fer it, Captain. Light ’er up!”

  She lit the lighter and slowly moved it towards the cannon’s fuse. Miss Kitty and I sat in the back on the sundeck. We plugged our ears and held our breaths …

  “WAIT!” she yelled and pulled the lighter back.

  19

  “AYE! What is it?” Miss Kitty asked and let out a big breath. I, too, let my air out. My heart was pounding so hard it was shaking my vision.

  “Remind me, what do pirates say? Was it ‘fire in the hole,’ or ‘blast off,’ or just ‘fire’? Or do I count down? I can’t remember,” she said in her normal voice.

  I was just about to answer, when Miss Kitty started pointing at her rapidly and said, “Oh! Oh! She didn’t say ‘game off’! You have to say game off if you’re not going to talk like a pirate!” she tattled.

  “UH!” Tannya shot her a dirty look and then turned to me. “FINE, GAME OFF!” she snuffed.

  “ARRR!” I said in an effort to break up their quarrel. “I think it’s the captain who’s commanding the ship that chooses what to say before firing.”

  “Aye,” she said back with raised eyebrows. “Game on!” She leaned over again and lit the lighter. We again held our breaths and plugged our ears.

  “FIRE IN THE HOLE!” she yelled and lit the fuse. It sparkled quickly like a firework and made a crackling sound. Tannya bolted away from it and plopped down next to Miss Kitty and plugged her ears too. The fuse burned down and disappeared in the hole. We all shrank down and waited. A second later … BOOM!

  I opened my eyes and looked. The cannonball had shot WAY farther than I thought. It went past my property, above the tree tops and disappeared. The cannon itself had moved all the way back in the pontoon until it hit the little table by the back row of seats with a hard bang. All of our feet were up on this seat. Thank goodness we sat up on the sundeck and not on the seats. The pole that the table sat on was bent and the table now leaned down.