Taking It Slow

by Jordan Marie

  “Friends,” she says like we’re in agreement and she’s smiling large…

  I’m frowning.

  40

  Faith

  “Titan?” I squint at him through sleepy eyes and lean heavily on my front door frame. A smiling Titan is standing on my doorstep, wearing more jeans—these just as sexy—and a red cotton T-shirt. He’s holding a white bag and two cups and he looks… cheerful.

  “Hey, I thought I’d bring you breakfast.”

  “Breakfast?” I ask, wondering if I’m dreaming. I did dream about Titan last night and maybe I still am. I’m probably not awake at all. It’s not daylight and I’m not standing in front of Titan with morning breath, ratty bed hair and wearing pajamas.

  “Friends buy each other breakfast, don’t they?” he laughs and all hope fades. The Titan in my dreams would not be talking about being friends. He’d be getting busy doing all the things that make me ache—and continue to dream about him.

  “It’s early,” I complain. I look behind me at the clock. It’s barely seven thirty in the morning.

  “It is, but I know you had work today, so I wanted to catch you early. I actually meant to make it over here sooner, but I had to have a talk with your cousins.”

  “My cousins?” It’s then I notice he’s got a small cut on his lower lip. That’s it, but I frown. “Did you guys… fight?”

  “There wasn’t much of a fight. A few punches thrown, but nothing major.”

  “If that’s true, what happened to your lip?” I ask while reaching up to touch the spot I saw.

  “Your cousin Black hits like a girl,” he mumbles, moving in closer to me, one hand lazily resting against my back. His eyes hold me in place. I’m so caught up in them I can’t breathe. All that beauty and I’m the focus of all of it. I couldn’t look away if I tried.

  “I think you might be the only man to ever say that,” I tell him.

  “Do friends kiss, Faith?”

  “What?”

  “I want to kiss you. Do friends kiss?”

  “You do?”

  “Definitely,” he says bringing his face closer to mine. As he does, the contents of the bag he’s holding gets closer and I catch the smell of bacon and eggs. I try to swallow it down, but I can’t. I take off running because I can feel the bile rise in my stomach and I know what’s coming. “Faith!” Titan calls from behind me, but I ignore him. I don’t stop until I make it to the small guest bath in the hall. Then I dive toward the toilet.

  I don’t know if it’s a minute later or maybe five, I just know I’m puking my guts out and Titan comes in and I want to die. There are several ways in life that you don’t want a good looking man to find you. One of those high up on the list is puking. When I finish I feel a cool cloth hit my forehead and it’s then I notice Titan is holding my hair out of the way and pressing a cloth to me. I take it and move it down to my lips, feeling horrible.

  “Are you okay, Faith?” he asks, his voice quiet and gentle.

  “Eggs,” I manage to mutter.

  “Eggs?”

  “Zeus doesn’t like eggs,” I sigh.

  “We’re not naming our child Zeus,” he says, but I can hear the smile behind his words—even if I can’t see it.

  “Can you give me a few minutes alone? I need to…”

  “You’re sure you’re okay?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Okay. Then I’ll go get rid of the eggs.”

  “Much appreciated,” I tell him, still not turning around to see him. I’m too mortified. He helps me stand, giving me a squeeze from behind, and then leaving the small room. Once the door closes I sink down to the commode and sit before my legs give out. This was not how I wanted Titan to see me. I rub my stomach absently, vowing again to never drink tequila again.

  It takes some work, but I manage to make it back to my bedroom without Titan knowing. A few minutes later I emerge with my teeth brushed, and mouthwash taking away the stench from earlier. I’ve brushed my hair and put on clothes. I still feel nauseous, but at least I look human.

  “How are you feeling?” he asks anxiously as I round the corner to the kitchen. He’s sitting at the bar and it’s clear he’s worried.

  “Fine. I just need some coffee.”

  “But—”

  “It helps settle my stomach.”

  “Babe—”

  Not wife… babe… it isn’t bad, but it isn’t wife. For some reason my brain fixates on that, but I push it down.

  “It’s decaf, Titan. Relax and while you’re doing that, explain to me why you’re here again.”

  “I wanted to surprise you before work. I was afraid I wouldn’t make it. Aren’t you going to be late?”

  “Late? Oh… I don’t work today, Titan. I uh… have an appointment.”

  “An appointment?” he asks and I finish fixing my coffee because I know what he’s going to want and I’m not sure how I feel about it.

  “I have a doctor’s appointment today.”

  “About the baby?”

  “Yeah…”

  “I told you I wanted to go to those.”

  “Titan, it’s my first real appointment since I moved here. It’s not like they’ll do a lot. You’re more than welcome to come when they—”

  “I’m coming to this one,” he says obstinately and I sigh.

  “What if I said no?”

  “Then I’d follow you to the doctor appointment and stand outside the exam room,” he says, his face devoid of any trace of emotion, but deathly serious in a way you could see, hear and feel.

  “Fine. You can go, but I’m warning you right now, Big Daddy. You annoy me and I’ll make them escort you out, and you won’t be invited to any other appointments.”

  He shrugs and doesn’t bother hiding his grin. I want to scream, but I stifle that and turn back to my coffee, urging it to hurry and finish. I’ve got a feeling I’m going to need its magical strength to get me through today.

  41

  Titan

  Ida Sue might be growing on me. When she suggested I take Faith breakfast this morning, I didn’t readily agree. I didn’t want to push my luck too soon. She kept insisting though—to the point of almost pushing me out the door. She knew about the doctor appointment. I thought the old woman was insane—and I still think that—but I’m starting to understand she’s smart as a damn tack too. Crazy and smart is a combination any man should respect and be afraid of. Still, I definitely owe her one right now.

  “How are you feeling, Ms. Lucas?” the doctor asks, making notes in his file.

  “Good. A little tired, but not horrible,” Faith answers, and I hear the nervousness in her voice.

  “That’s to be expected,” the doctor says and he turns and grins at her. He’s entirely too pretty. I don’t like it. Doctors who deliver babies for a living are supposed to be old with kind faces, or… women. They aren’t supposed to look pretty. They aren’t supposed to be my age and if they are they don’t need to be the doctor that looks at Faith. “Everything else seems to be okay? According to our records you’re at your second month now, which is still rather early but you can notice a few changes.”

  “She got sick this morning,” I answer for her when it becomes clear that Faith isn’t going to bring it up. She huffs out a breath and gives me a mean look. I cross my arms at my chest and steadfastly ignore her.

  “Sick?”

  “The smell of eggs in the morning makes me sick. Titan didn’t realize it and thought he was surprising me for breakfast,” she explains with a sigh.

  “Is this something new? Because of the baby?” the doctor prods.

  “Yeah, it’s just certain things: eggs, ground beef, and, ugh, anything with rosemary in it.”

  “Those are quite specific. This child might be a handful,” the doctor laughs. I don’t like his laugh either. It’s entirely too personal. Like he’s sharing some inside joke with my wife… with Faith.

  “Just like her mother,” I add with a smile and if my voice sounds
territorial—it should.

  The doctor glances at me and our eyes lock and he gets my message. I can see it on his face.

  “Are you ready to hear the baby’s heartbeat?” he asks, and damn if my own heart doesn’t speed up. I’ve never been through this, didn’t really know what to expect, but I didn’t know I’d get to hear my child’s heart… my child’s heart… beating.

  “More than ready,” Faith says, smiling at the doctor, and I make a note that the first thing I’m going to insist on is finding a new doctor. An older one who has more experience… and a female one. Definitely a female.

  I watch as he lifts Faith’s shirt up. My gut tightens with dislike. I’ve never been possessive over a woman before in my life, but I’m definitely feeling that today with Faith. I won’t bother denying it. I move in closer to Faith. She looks at me, her face shocked, and watches me even closer. I try not to flinch under her heavy gaze. Maybe she can see what’s bothering me, though, because she grins.

  “Easy, Big Daddy,” she whispers and just like that, the worry is gone. I don’t know how I managed to get my ass tied in knots over Faith, but I think it’s clear I have. I just need to make sure she does the same. I reach over and take her hand in mine. Her smile falters, her gaze moves to our now joined hands and then slowly back to my face. I give her hand a gentle squeeze and her face goes sweet.

  I haven’t been paying attention. Not until the sound echoes in the room, but the doctor has an instrument of some kind on Faith’s stomach and it’s picking up the baby’s heartbeat. It’s fast… so fast my immediate reaction is something is wrong.

  “What’s wrong with him?” I ask before I can stop myself.

  “Not a thing. It’s a perfectly healthy heartbeat, one hundred and twenty beats per minute.”

  “One hundred and twenty? Is that normal?” Faith asks.

  “I promise it’s fine,” the doctor says and he pats her hand. I don’t stop the growl that bubbles out. Faith’s face jerks to me and her eyes get round as saucers. She gives me a look that’s meant to censure me, but I just shrug. If possible, her eyes get larger.

  She needs to get used to it… and apparently, so do I.

  42

  Faith

  “I can’t believe you growled at Dr. Brankins,” I laugh as Titan pulls his car into my driveway.

  “He was touching you,” Titan mutters.

  “He was trying to be reassuring!”

  “He was being annoying.”

  “You’re crazy,” I say with a sigh. He turns off his car and then moves so he’s looking right at me.

  “You need a woman doctor.”

  “You can’t be serious, Titan.”

  “I am serious and this guy was way too young. He can’t have delivered very many babies at all. You need someone who knows what they’re doing.”

  “Dr. Brankins delivered everyone of Kayla’s, CC’s and Petal’s babies. They love him.”

  “Is that supposed to make me feel better? Because so far I’m thinking all of your cousins are insane and your aunt is a walking poster child for straightjackets.”

  “That’s not nice, Titan,” I tell him, but it takes work to keep from laughing. I mean, he’s not completely wrong.

  “The only thing that quack doctor made sense about was I needed to watch over you more, and make note of things that bother you and watch for problems.”

  “Um… I don’t remember him saying that, Big Daddy.”

  “He clearly said it,” Titan argues.

  I get out of the car, because I’ve got a really bad feeling about this. Titan has a look in his eye that scares me and maybe excites me—which scares me more.

  “He did not say that, Titan.”

  “Babe, he did,” he argues. He puts his hand at my back and walks us up my sidewalk toward the front door.

  “When, Titan? When did he say that?”

  “You were in the restroom. He said you needed someone to watch over you and make sure you got enough rest and ate right.”

  “I don’t believe you,” I argue and I have no idea why his words are making me panic, but they are.

  “Can’t help that, babe. It’s true,” he says and when I look up at him, he’s grinning. I’m thinking that grin means bad things for me. “What’s this?” he asks and I hadn’t realized we were at the door already. He picks up a large white box. There’s a giant red bow on it.

  “I don’t know,” I answer. “Maybe Hope sent me something, or perhaps Charity got my letter about the baby and sent something.”

  “It has your name on it, but nothing else.” He flicks the gift tag on top of the box.

  “Bring it inside and I’ll open it there. I know I’m not that far along but I swear I have to pee again.”

  “The romance has really left our relationship, hasn’t it?” Titan jokes as I unlock the door.

  “I don’t think we have a relationship, remember? Divorced?”

  “Annulled… and we’re about to be parents together, so…”

  “Please don’t finish that sentence. I’m not sure I can handle much more today,” I laugh, only half kidding.

  He places the box on the table and I lift the top off and look down inside.

  I pull out an old worn Dallas Cowboys football jersey. At first I don’t realize what it is, and then it hits me. It’s Brad’s shirt. My ex-boyfriend, the creep who has been calling and the creep that hit me and knocked me on the ground because I had the nerve to tell him I didn’t want to go to a party with him.

  I used to sleep in this shirt every night—back when things were good. They hadn’t been good for a long time. They were bad long before he hit me. Any feelings I had for him were long gone way before he hit me. The hit just gave me the courage to finally leave. I drop the jersey on the table.

  “Dallas cowboys?” Titan asks, but I barely hear him.

  It feels like blood is rushing through me and I can hear my heart beating in my ears. That’s how much this reminder of my time with Brad bothers me. There are two other things in the box and I reach in and get those. One is a 5x7 picture in a silver frame. It’s a picture of Brad and me one week after we met. It was our first official date. He flew me to Hawaii and had a private dinner served for us on a beach. He pulled out all of the stops. I thought I’d finally found something good in my life… someone who cared about me. We’d been dancing on the water’s edge, barefoot, and I used my phone to take a selfie of us with the ocean and the sunset as our backdrop.

  I used to love that picture.

  “Faith?” Titan’s voice again, but still I can’t pay it attention.

  I look at the folded piece of paper which was inside and open it up, barely noticing my hand is shaking.

  Faith,

  We were so good together. I miss you, Sunshine. Come home to me. You’ll always be the only woman for me. We’ll start over.

  Brad.

  I drop the note on the table and run to the bathroom, feeling the bile rise through me just like this morning. I’m going to be sick again and this time the cause is much worse than just the smell of eggs.

  43

  Titan

  I should run after Faith, but something upset her and right now, with anger—and jealousy—firing through me, I don’t. I pick up the note she dropped and read it. I read it again and then I wad the bastard up in my hand. Then I take in the picture of a smiling Faith with a man I don’t know, but a man who was holding her close and doing it while smiling—not at the camera, but at her, and I don’t like that at all. Then I look at the faded jersey—obviously a man’s and obviously well worn. I like that and the fact a man sent it to her even less.

  I throw it all back in the box, because I don’t want to see it. I actually have to fight the urge to take it out and burn it. I do that barely, though I make a note to do it later if Faith doesn’t have an issue with it.

  But that’s the thing that’s bothering me the most.

  Is she upset because she has feelings for this… Brad? Or i
s she upset for a different reason? I finally control enough of my reaction—and I know most of it is unreasonable—to follow her into the master bathroom.

  I saw pictures of this place and floor plans before I agreed to my contract. So I know the layout. That said, walking into the master bedroom, it’s all different. In here, Faith has definitely put her stamp on the place. She’s painted the walls a calming gray which you would think would be washed out with her white furniture, but it’s not. It feels peaceful. Of course the yellow curtains and throw pillows on the bed covered in white, along with plush yellow rugs on the floor scream vibrant and happy, like Faith herself—or like the Faith I remember in Vegas…

  I walk into the bathroom and Faith is at the sink now, splashing water on her face. There’s a small cup and an open bottle of mouthwash there too. Clearly I took way too long looking at the shit Brad sent. I should have been in here, seeing to her.

  “You okay, Faith?”

  Her eyes come to mine in the mirror and I see the circles under them that makeup hid before. She’s not been sleeping. That much is clear. Another gut punch. I feel like I’m missing a huge piece to the puzzle, but one thing is crystal clear. Faith has not been taking care of herself. She needs someone to watch over her and clearly, I’ve been dragging my feet when I should have just taken control from the beginning. There’s a time to take things slow and I thought that was how to deal with Faith.

  I was wrong. I thought I was wrong after the doctor visit and now I know I was.

  “Titan… I—”

  “Who’s Brad?” I ask before she can finish.

  That troubled look moves through her face again and I can feel the tension from her body tighten.

  “A mistake,” she says softly, almost so softly I can’t hear.

  “Come here, Faith,” I order her, but I do it gently. She needs gentle from me right now and because of that I tap down any of the jealousy and anger I didn’t get a handle on before. Surprisingly, she walks to me. I take her into my arms and she buries her face into my chest. I feel a shudder go through her and I hold her tighter, letting my fingers drift through her hair. “Talk to me,” I tell her quietly.