Finger Lickin' Dead

by Riley Adams

  “And she sure was mad about Adam dating Evelyn,” said Lulu, nodding. “But wasn’t she more mad at Evelyn than Adam? It seems more likely that she’d shoot a big hole in Evelyn than Adam.”

  Sara said stoutly, “If we don’t buy into that scenario, though, then we’ve got to explore the idea that some of our friends might be murderers. And I really don’t want to go there.”

  Lulu rubbed at her temples. “It’s all making my head spin. Let’s talk about something else. Like—the girls. How are the twins doing now?”

  Sara smiled proudly and said, “They’re doing so much better than I thought they would, Lulu. Kids are so incredibly resilient. I’m not going to say they didn’t have nightmares last night—because they did. But I was amazed how well they’re handling this.”

  “What did the counselor say to them this morning?” asked Lulu. “I was busy with customers when y’all came in a little while ago.” Sara had taken the morning off and gone to talk to a pediatric counselor with the twins.

  “Oh, she was wonderful. Asked them what happened, let them talk it all out of their systems. And then she said all the right things to help them process it and make a little sense out of what happened. I think it helped a lot.”

  “Do you think I should even mention anything about the murder to them?” asked Lulu.

  “They’ll probably start talking to you about it, actually. That seems to be where they are in the process right now.”

  “How’re my babies doing?” asked Lulu, giving Ella Beth and Coco big hugs as they came out on the porch. She wasn’t really sure exactly how to handle such a traumatic experience, so she was relieved when Coco piped up.

  “Pretty good. We had a whole day off from school so we could talk to some lady who was a counselor.”

  “And the teachers didn’t even give us any make-up work!” said Ella Beth. “But I’ve had some bad dreams, so I guess it’s not really been too great.”

  Lulu nodded. “Well, I wish there was something I could do to make the bad dreams go right away. But I think that as time goes by, they won’t be quite so awful.” She squeezed both girls’ hands. “I do have something to put a smile on your face in the short term. I made y’all some apple pie and some home-churned ice cream to go on top.” The twins cheered and seemed to put the murder out of their minds as Lulu brought out two plates heaped with generous portions of hot apple pie and homemade vanilla ice cream.

  But after Coco, happy with her full tummy, left the porch to do homework, Ella Beth lingered. “Something on your mind, sweetie?” asked Lulu.

  Ella Beth nodded, her thin face serious. “I was watching this movie that was on in the office. And it had this guy who was just a regular guy but his friend got killed.”

  Lulu made a mental note to monitor what was on the television in the office more often.

  “And so he went on a hunt for the guy who killed his friend. He became a totally different person. Because he was ‘emotionally invested,’ he said.”

  “But, sweetie, you didn’t even know this man who died. He was a grown-up and honestly, he wasn’t even a very nice grown-up. So there is really no reason to feel close to him at all.”

  Ella Beth shook her head. “But the point is, Granny Lulu, that I’m emotionally invested. I’m the one who found him. I want to help find out who did him in.”

  “You didn’t mention your idea to your counselor, did you, sweetie? I don’t think she’d think this was a great way to handle your shock.”

  “Actually,” said Ella Beth, raising her pointed chin, “the counselor said we were supposed to work out our feelings in a healthy way. This sounds pretty healthy to me.”

  “Oh, honey. I think she probably meant that you should go to your mama’s workshop and throw some paint on a canvas. Or go outside and run around for a while—something like that.”

  “Finding the man’s killer means that everything is all tied up, though. Very neatly.”

  Lulu was about to quickly squash this idea, but then she looked closely into Ella Beth’s pinched face. The little girl had really been affected by finding the murdered man. Maybe, in some ways, just letting her think she was helping put the murderer away would help focus her energy in a positive direction. She obviously wasn’t just going to forget the murder and put it behind her. It wasn’t tidy.

  “Tell you what,” said Lulu. “Why don’t you plan on doing a little investigating. Just around Aunt Pat’s, Ella Beth. And you make sure you tell me everything you find out, okay? And—you’re not going to want to let people know that you’re nosing around in this—just to be on the safe side, sweetie. There’s obviously a really disturbed person out there.”

  Ella Beth drew back, offended. “Granny Lulu, I’m not dumb. Detectives are supposed to work undercover. And then I’ll report everything I find to you. Just like I did the last time when that food-television reporter was murdered.”

  Lulu had to admit that Ella Beth, despite being nine years old, had definitely helped her out with the last case she’d found herself involved in. Murder. Circling around Aunt Pat’s! What had the world come to?

  Chapter 9

  The next day the lunch rush was bigger than it had been the rest of the week. “I think folks have pushed that review out of their heads,” Lulu said to Ben as he grated huge blocks of extra-sharp cheese in the Aunt Pat’s kitchen.

  “I sure hope so. It’s just wrong that one person’s opinion could mess up our business for as long as it did. And it wasn’t even true! Adam was pigging out on red beans and rice at Aunt Pat’s every chance he got.” Ben looked steamed just thinking about it as he grated vigorously.

  “Well, there’s no need to get all fired up about it now, Ben. Adam’s not too likely to be writing any more stories in his current condition.”

  “Yeah. And I just can’t seem to summon up an ounce of sympathy for the guy, somehow.” Ben saw his mother’s worried face and said, “But I didn’t murder him, Mother. You know that’s not the way I’d go solving a problem or settling a score. I was set to expose him, though. I figured if I let everybody know who he was, then he couldn’t go around bashing people’s restaurants and putting them out of business—because they’d be on the lookout for him. He’d have no secrets.”

  “I think Oliver Hatley was beating you to it, sweetie. Derrick was saying that he had blog posts up with Adam’s picture and a big story about Eppie Currian’s real identity. He was even spreading the news on Twitter.”

  Ben hesitated. “I was doing more of a word-of-mouth campaign. There’s only one thing that worries me. And I don’t know if I’m overreacting or what. I mean, it probably doesn’t mean anything.” He started cracking a couple dozen eggs into a large bowl for the spicy corn muffins.

  Lulu put her hands on her hips and cocked her head to one side. “I knew you weren’t telling me everything. When are you going to learn that it’s never good to try to hide things from your mama?”

  Ben gave a small smile. “I guess you’re right. Anyway, I saw Holden Parsons at the grocery store late in the morning that day Adam was killed. I felt this real evangelical need to tell him Eppie Currian’s true identity. I figured Holden had just as much of a beef with Adam as I did. Hell, he probably had more of a beef with him—it was Adam’s fault that Holden lost his job as the paper’s restaurant critic.”

  Lulu nodded. “Right. I knew Holden was really torn up about that.”

  “And when I was thinking about it later, Holden didn’t look so hot while I was talking to him. He turned red, green, white—just about every color you can think of. But I was just so focused on telling him that I didn’t really even notice until later that he was looking sort of sick.”

  “Well, sure he looked sick, Ben. Holden had no idea you were going to throw that information at him. And it probably brought up a lot of unwelcome feelings.”

  Ben beat the eggs into some shortening. “True. Yes, that’s true, Mother. But then I noticed what he was holding in his hand—a can of baked bea
ns.”

  Lulu remembered that Holden’s body was inexplicably covered in baked beans. “Oh.”

  “The only reason I remember that is because I said something about it. ‘You should just head over to Aunt Pat’s for your baked beans fix’ or something like that.” He sighed. “And there Adam was—murdered and covered with a bunch of baked beans.”

  “So what are you going to do? Have you talked to Sara about this?”

  “I sure did. And she wants nothing more to do with this murder. Bad enough having our little girls discover the body. And the cops will probably end up talking to me about the whole thing anyway—I wasn’t exactly spreading a sunshine message about the guy. When they come to talk to me, I haven’t decided if I’m going to say anything to them about Holden. I mean, don’t you think they’ll probably find out on their own?”

  “Maybe. Although it’s not like those beans are all that distinctive. But they’ll probably be talking to Holden anyway, since he lost his job because of Adam. I guess they’re more likely to find out about him that way.” But Lulu sounded doubtful. “I usually think that honesty is the best policy.”

  “Me, too. But I think I’m going to hold off on being honest for a little while. I’m not lying. I’m just not offering up everything that I know.”

  The dining room was already full of customers for the lunch rush and the talking and laughing made the volume really loud in the room. But Lulu could still hear Ben’s wife, Sara, laughing up a storm as she cut up with some of the Graces, Big Ben, Morty, and Buddy. When Sara saw Lulu, she started getting up, “Guess I better help get some orders to the tables,” she said, smoothing down her apron. “We’ve got a real crowd today, thank God.”

  “Sweetie, I don’t think we need to do a thing but enjoy ourselves. I had two of the girls call and ask me if they could work today—that they needed more hours this week and wanted to make some extra money. I told them that was just fine . . . which ended up being a good thing since we’re packed. So let’s just have some fun and visit with our friends.”

  Sara’s large frame seemed to relax in her chair a little. “That sounds like a good plan, Lulu. It’s been a rough week. Some downtime would be great.”

  “Where are Flo and Evelyn?” asked Lulu. “They have docent duty at Graceland today?”

  Cherry shook her head and made a face. “No. Well, Flo’s meeting with one of her brides for work. But Evelyn? You’ll never guess where she is.

  Big Ben, Buddy, and Morty seemed to view Cherry’s statement as a personal challenge.

  “She’s buying a third house?” offered Big Ben.

  “She’s buying a fourth car?” guessed Buddy.

  “I got it!” said Morty, managing to snap his arthritic fingers. “She’s buying another pair of those fancy shoes that cost more than my car payments?”

  “Wrong, wrong, wrong!” sang out Peggy Sue. “She’s out with Ginger! You remember Ginger? The wronged woman from hell?”

  “I can’t hardly believe it!” said Lulu. “Why on God’s green earth would Evelyn deliberately want to spend time with that woman? The last time they were together, Ginger insulted Evelyn by telling her that Adam was only going out with her because of her money.”

  Flo nodded her carefully teased head. “Which ended up being absolutely true. So Evelyn felt like Ginger was trying to give her a friendly warning—one that she should have been heeding.”

  “But she wasn’t,” said Cherry crossly. “She was giving Evelyn a piece of her mind because she’d just been ditched.” She stabbed some baked beans with her fork.

  Buddy said in a thoughtful voice, “And I keep thinking that Ginger might have killed Adam. Think about it—usually it’s the wife or the ex-wife, right? She probably just got fed up with trying to reconcile with somebody who was out partying with other girls. And so she shot him cold.”

  Big Ben shook his head. “Maybe. But I got my own theory on the murderer.” He raised his eyebrows at Lulu and nodded. Obviously, thought Lulu, his money was still on Oliver. That scene at the restaurant had stuck in his mind.

  “Maybe,” said Cherry, taking a sip of sweet tea. But Cherry gave Lulu a look that meant she was still worried about Evelyn’s possible role in the murder.

  “Hush! Here she comes,” said Lulu, her head swimming with all the suspicions from her group of friends.

  Sure enough, in came Ginger and Evelyn, arm in arm as if they’d always been the best of friends. “Hi, girls!” said Evelyn breezily. “Y’all remember Ginger, don’t you?”

  “And how,” mumbled Cherry. Flo kicked her under the table and Cherry grunted.

  “Ginger and I have had a wonderful talk and really put all our petty little differences aside. And we found out that we have so much in common!”

  Lulu raised her eyebrows. “Isn’t that nice? What did you find that you had in common?”

  “Besides Adam?” said the sullen Cherry. She got another kick under the table from Flo.

  “Would you believe we’re both originally from Tupelo? And we both lost our moms in our twenties? And we both love to eat barbeque best of all!” said Evelyn, beaming.

  “That’s really wonderful,” said Lulu a little flatly. It was hard to garner any enthusiasm for someone who had been yelling at your friend the last time you’d seen her. And who could be a cold-blooded killer.

  “You’re practically twins,” said Cherry. She turned to Lulu and rolled her eyes.

  Ginger acted like they were all meeting each other for the first time. “You know I love the food here,” she said to Lulu. “This is one of my most favorite places to eat. It’s another great thing about hanging out with Evelyn—I have a chance to eat more Aunt Pat’s barbeque.” She gave a simpering smile and pulled up a chair to join the group.

  “The police finished their autopsies and everything,” said Ginger abruptly. “Adam’s funeral is going to be in a couple of days.”

  Everyone tried to look appropriately mournful. Big Ben muttered something about being sorry in his gruff voice.

  “Evelyn, would you come to the funeral with me? It would really mean a lot to me if you would.”

  Evelyn looked cross. “Ginger, you’re forgetting everything we talked about! The whole point was how scummy Adam was—how he did us both wrong! How we’re even glad that he’s gone . . . and coming to terms with the guilt from that realization!”

  Ginger pouted. “I don’t care what he was. I loved him! I’m going to love him until the day I die, and no one can stop me. In fact, I’m going to get to the bottom of this murder. I’m going to find out who did him in, believe me. Because he was going to get back together with me. Besides, I already have some ideas that I’m going to share with the police soon.”

  “But we were going to heal together, Ginger. Don’t you remember? It was going to be therapeutic for both of us.”

  Ginger shook her head emphatically, reddish gray curls bouncing. “No. I wanted to hang out with you because we could both reminisce about Adam. Share our memories and stuff like that. It’ll be almost as good as having him around.”

  Or better than having him around, thought Lulu. He really was a stinker.

  Evelyn got very quiet. “If that’s the way you feel, Ginger, I’d rather not discuss Adam around you. Because I’m not in that stage. You’re in some sort of denial phase . . . denial that he treated you like dirt. And I’m in the stage where I’m just trying to deal with the fact that I’m guilty of being happy he’s dead. I need to heal. But I’ll go to the funeral with you. I promise I’ll do that.”

  To Lulu’s relief, Ginger didn’t want to stay for lunch—she was going to get her hair done so she’d look nice for Adam’s visitation at the funeral home. The way Ginger was determined to keep Adam’s memory alive, Lulu wondered if she somehow thought she was getting dressed up to look nice for him. Lulu shivered.

  As Ginger walked out the door of Aunt Pat’s, Sara said, “Evelyn, honey, that woman is creeping me out. What are you doing hanging out with her wh
en you could be hanging out with us instead? We’re a whole lot more fun.”

  Peggy Sue said, “And she thinks you want to be her little mourning buddy or something. It’s just weird.”

  Evelyn said, “I know y’all think I’m nuts, but it’s part of my healing process. This has been a really traumatic time for me—going from feeling like I was the Queen of the Universe when I was with Adam, to getting cheated on and scammed out of money, to having Adam be murdered, and then to having the police peg me for a suspect. Hanging out with Ginger makes me realize that I’m emotionally healthier than I thought I was.”

  Cherry grinned. “Always nice to feel superior, isn’t it?” Evelyn said, “Will somebody go along with me and Ginger to Adam’s funeral? That wasn’t anything I’d planned on doing, but I want to be supportive of Ginger, and going to the funeral might help with closure.”

  Lulu wasn’t wild about going anywhere with Ginger, but she knew she wanted to be there for Evelyn. “I’ll go, honey,” said Lulu. “And I’ll get Ben to drive me.”

  Cherry said, “I’ll go, too. Oh, I don’t care a fig about Ginger, but I want to be there for you, Evelyn.”

  Buddy said, “Do y’all mind if I change the subject? Too much dwelling on death at my age gets a little depressing.”

  “Hear, hear,” said Morty. He pointed an arthritic finger at Peggy Sue, who paused while applying lipstick. “Weren’t you telling me something nice about your granddaughter and Derrick? I do love the young people.”

  “I’d like an update on that situation, too,” said Sara. “Derrick is one boy who definitely deserves a fun date.”

  Peggy Sue put the lipstick back in her purse and leaned forward. “Yes, honey, they are going out! And Peaches is just thrilled.”

  Lulu shifted a little uncomfortably on her wooden chair. “Have they talked, then? Did Peaches call him up?”

  “She’s giving him a buzz after school this afternoon.” Peggy Sue lifted up a plump arm to look at her wristwatch. “In a couple of hours, I guess. But Peaches is one determined little cuss, so I can go ahead and promise you that they’ll have a date. They’re going to go see this cute movie that just came out—An Evening in Heaven. It’s supposed to be a great date movie.” Peggy Sue gave a trilling laugh.