Not Safe For Work

by L. A. Witt

  Wrong. So wrong.

  Waiting in here for my ex to walk in with the man who’d strategically driven us apart? Fuck.

  And it could get much worse. All Rick had to do was tip his hand, and my job was toast. Even if I could sue the company, that didn’t help me with my cash flow between now and a judge’s decision. I was pretty sure my kids’ colleges wouldn’t accept “I’ll pay you as soon as I’m done suing my ex-employer” in lieu of tuition.

  But he wouldn’t tip his hand. I knew damn well he wouldn’t. That wasn’t the kind of man he was, because he wasn’t the kind of man anyone with half a brain would let slip between their fingers. Especially not over something as stupid as money.

  That realization—that my secret was safe with Rick even though he probably couldn’t stand the sight of me now—made my chest hurt. He was too good for that kind of vindictive shit. He was too good to let go of.

  What have I done?

  “Jon?” Marie asked quietly.

  I opened my eyes. She was on the opposite side of my table, watching me over her glasses. Her raised eyebrows asked if everything was all right. I nodded. Maybe she was convinced, maybe she wasn’t—her lips tightened, and she held my gaze for a moment like she might pursue the issue.

  “Marie, are you ready?” Mitchell asked.

  “Yes, sir.” She shot me one last glance and then followed him out of the room.

  As soon as they were gone, I released my breath.

  “What the fuck was that all about?” Bianca asked.

  I turned and realized everyone was staring at me. “What?”

  “That was kind of weird.” Teagan eyed me over her model. “I mean, if looks could kill, Mitchell would’ve been a dead man.”

  I swallowed. “And that’s new?”

  “Well, no.” She stood straighter. “But usually you glare at him like you want him to drop dead. This time it was more like you wanted him to go up in flames.”

  “Yeah,” Cal said. “Even Dawson looked like she was going to be all ‘Dude, McNeill, settle down.’”

  I waved a hand. “It’s nothing. Don’t worry about it.” I shifted my attention back to my work and picked up the drawing of the structure I was currently building. I looked it over and tried to focus on the lines, numbers and letters that must have made sense to me in some lifetime. None of it meant a thing to me now. Just a bunch of random symbols scattered on a page, all adding up to nothing.

  All around me, everyone was still and silent. No doubt exchanging puzzled glances. Maybe mouthing what the hell? and I don’t know at each other.

  But eventually, fingers started tapping on keys again. Mice started clicking. Gum started snapping. The banter started again—cautiously at first, and then with more enthusiasm.

  And I just concentrated on the model.

  Measure. Cut. Fit. Glue.

  * * * * *

  The day ground on, and if time had any inclination to heal this wound, it wasn’t in any great hurry. I’d have been more comfortable and less distracted with a cock cage on. Right then, I’d have sold my soul to have my cock and balls strapped into one of those diabolical devices if it meant I could stop feeling this particular burr under my skin. Having it pinch and tug every time I moved, pressing into sensitive skin until I could think of nothing except get it off, get it off, get it off, would’ve been a welcome alternative to this.

  The distant, hurried rhythm of high-heeled footsteps approaching on laminate reverberated up and down my spine.

  “Incoming,” Cal said.

  Scott turned the music down, and I ground my teeth, half expecting the usual ominous overture to pour through the speakers. When I shot him a warning look, he wisely left the music alone.

  The door opened, and my throat closed.

  Rick said nothing. Nor did anyone else in the room. Mice clicked, fingers clattered on keyboards, but no one spoke. They were probably all trying to look busy, hoping the boss wasn’t there to speak to them.

  My heart was ready to crash right through my rib cage. I tried to focus, but it was impossible with Rick in the room. Especially as he and Mitchell inched their way toward me.

  And then, there they were. Standing opposite me, both staring right at me and not the model they’d allegedly come to check.

  I met Rick’s gaze. He held it, but only for a second. Just long enough for me to see the palpable hurt in his eyes. We were on opposite sides of my modeling table, a scale replica of his next project between us, and it may as well have been the actual building for as far apart as we were.

  What did I do? What did—

  “Well.” Mitchell smiled broadly. “Looks like everything here is in order, yes?”

  “Yeah. Everything’s perfect.” Rick plastered on a smile that wouldn’t have fooled a blind man. “Shall we head up and take a look at that revised schematic for the library?”

  Mitchell eyed me but nodded. To Rick, he said, “All right. After you.”

  Along with Marie, they turned to go, and the heavy, painful, devastated feeling I’d been carrying all day suddenly exploded into heart-stopping panic.

  “Wait!”

  The word came out before I could stop it.

  As one, Rick and my two bosses turned around.

  The rest of the room fell silent. No one moved.

  I set my X-ACTO knife down and straightened. Quietly, I repeated, “Wait.” It was a stupid thing to say just then, because they were waiting, but it was the only word that would come out. The rest were still catching up, fighting their way to the front of my brain.

  Mitchell inclined his head. “Yes, Mr. McNeill?”

  “I—” I looked at Rick. His eyes, his lips, his brow—nothing offered a single clue as to what was going through his mind.

  “Jon?” Marie asked. “Is there something…?”

  “Yeah, I—” I squared my shoulders. “Mr. Mitchell, I’m sorry.” I gestured at Rick. “We split up.”

  A few feet away, Teagan’s breath hitched. Rick’s eyes widened. Marie grimaced. Mitchell looked like he was about to have heart failure. All around us, my crew was absolutely still and silent.

  I swallowed. “If you want to fire me for that, go right ahead.”

  Mitchell’s jaw dropped. He paled, glancing back and forth from me to Rick.

  Someone’s chair creaked. Someone whispered something. Subtle movement, the quiet sounds of my peers reading between lines. All that may as well have been a world away, though. For all I knew, the universe didn’t extend beyond the two people on either side of my desk.

  Mitchell took a breath like he was about to say something, but I spoke first.

  “Rick, I’m sorry. The way I handled this was—”

  “Mr. McNeill,” Mitchell broke in. “I think we should take this conversation to my office.”

  I ignored him. “I made a huge mistake. No amount of pride is worth letting you go. My job here was already fucked.”

  “Mr. McNeill!” Mitchell ground out. “This—”

  “Let him finish,” Marie said flatly.

  Mitchell shot her a look more venomous than the one I’d given him earlier.

  Rick’s gaze stayed fixed on me, though. “Go on.”

  I moistened my parched lips. “Walking away from you was the biggest mistake I’ve ever made. Even if I hadn’t been choosing this”—I gestured at my half-built model—“over you.”

  “You weren’t choosing your career,” he said, his tone unreadable. “You were choosing your kids.”

  I shook my head. “No, I wasn’t. I was choosing stability. As if I can’t have both. I can find other ways to provide for my kids. I can’t find another you. It took me this long to find you. What kind of idiot am I to think I can find—”

  “Gentlemen,” Mitchell broke in. “This is hardly appropriate here at—”

  “Neither is ordering me to continue keeping your client happy,” I snapped.

  No one spoke. No one breathed. My heart thumped in my chest—I was definitely fi
red now.

  I shifted my attention back to Rick. “Look at us. It’s been insane from the start. Every time we think it’s smooth sailing, something happens, and suddenly we can’t see each other, or one of us is…” I paused, not sure how much to divulge around this many people. “Nothing about us has been perfect except for you being perfect for me. We’ve been fucking up, tripping over our own feet, leaning on each other…” I shook my head. “It’s been a comedy of errors from day one. And I…I wouldn’t have it any other way. It’s like…we can bumble through and be completely okay with that, and it can be a complete clusterfuck, and then when we get it right…” I released a ragged breath. “When we get it right, it’s perfect. And even when we don’t, it still is.”

  Mitchell bristled beside Marie. She folded her arms, glaring at him as if to dare him to say anything.

  I steeled myself and met Rick’s gaze. “I’m scared out of my mind. I’ve got three kids in school, and I don’t know how I’m going to keep them there. I’ve got a roof I’m trying to keep over my head and Karen’s. But at the end of the day, even when I feel like I have to choose between all of that and you—” My voice caught.

  No one in the room made a sound. Even Silent Dave had stopped whatever he was doing, and I could almost hear the glue drying on the models.

  Stomach twisting and heart pounding, I finally managed to whisper, “The thing is, after you were gone, I realized it didn’t matter how many ultimatums anyone gave me, or…or any of that. The only thing that matters is that I love you.”

  Rick’s lips parted.

  Beside him, Mitchell made a strangled sound.

  And somewhere at the very fringe of my awareness, Calvin tumbled out of his chair.

  At any other moment, I’d have looked at him, laughed at his clumsiness and his cursing and crashing as he scrambled up off the floor, but not this time. Nothing existed except the man staring back at me with wide eyes.

  Rick stepped closer. “What did you say?”

  I gulped. “I said… I said I’m in love with you. I was stupid to let you go. And if this costs me my job, then…” I shook my head. “So be it. I love you.”

  He pushed out a breath, and after the longest moment of my life, the corners of his mouth rose. “I love you too.”

  Not giving a damn about where we were and who was here, I crossed the last shred of distance between us, and I kissed him. Full-on, both hands on his face, in front of God and everyone, I kissed him. He put his arms around me, and the weight of the world slipped off my shoulders.

  I broke the kiss and rested my forehead against his. “I love you, Rick.”

  Someone made a strangled sound, and only then did our surroundings—bystanders and all—come back into existence. I kissed him again anyway, pretending not to notice the whispered chorus of disbelief.

  “Holy. Fucking. Shit.”

  “Dude. Am I really—”

  “Would you two shut the fuck up?”

  “But…it’s…they…”

  “Come on, all of you. Early lunch. Now.”

  Teagan started to herd the drafters out of the room, but Rick put up a hand.

  “Actually, I think they deserve to hear this.” He turned to Mitchell, and I had never seen so much fear in the old man’s face, especially as Rick growled, “Would you care to explain to them the arrangement you made with Jon?”

  The old man’s mouth opened and closed like a fish out of water. He turned to Marie, but she offered nothing. He glanced at all of us.

  Teagan and I looked at each other. She mouthed holy shit. I kept a poker face, but nodded slightly. My sentiments exactly, T.

  As I turned back to the tense standoff, Rick folded his arms. “I’m waiting, Mr. Mitchell.”

  “I… Well, it…” Mitchell stammered, eyes flicking toward me. “Mr. Pierce, your company is a… Well, you’re valuable clients, and—”

  “And what about your employees?” Rick snapped. “Are you telling me they’re not valuable? Or at least not valuable enough to be granted a little bit of human fucking dignity by their employer?”

  Mitchell drew back. Color drained from his face.

  “I would never presume to tell someone how to run their business,” Rick snarled. “But, if you want to continue this business relationship, I would suggest that you and your partners make some substantial changes to how you treat your employees. All of them. We came to Mitchell & Forsythe because this firm is the best. No small part of that is because of them.” He made a sweeping gesture at the rest of my crew. “And if you expect them to kiss your ass, then you can kiss mine while I walk out the fucking door.”

  Everyone in the room inhaled sharply.

  He didn’t seem to notice and stepped closer to Mitchell, pointing sharply at the center of the man’s chest. “My company will not be dropping our contracts with your firm, but only because I will not be the reason all these people find themselves without a job. But if I don’t see any changes, or I hear so much as a rumor of something like this again, you will never see another Horizon Developing dime again, and their livelihoods”—he gestured at us again—“will be on your conscience, not mine. Am I clear?”

  Mitchell’s eyes could not possibly have gotten any wider, but they sure tried. Wordlessly, he nodded.

  “Good. Now let’s go sort out those contracts while these nice people get back to work.” He turned to me, and his expression softened a little. “I’ll see you this evening?”

  Relief rushed through me so quickly, it shook me right to the core. “Yeah.” I cleared my throat. “Absolutely.” I had no idea when or where or what he had in mind, but that could be settled later.

  He smiled, winked and headed out into the hall.

  Marie followed without so much as a glance at anyone.

  Mitchell looked around, eyeing the group of us warily as if he thought one of us might come at him. His gaze landed on me.

  My stomach knotted. He’d be well within his rights to fire me for that, or at least to rip me a new one now that Rick was out of earshot.

  “Well.” He muffled a cough and gestured at my model. “Keep…keep up the good work.”

  And then he was gone.

  As the door banged shut behind him, my chest tightened. I could feel everyone staring at me. The silence held on, as if no one knew quite what to say after something like that.

  It was—surprise, surprise—Cal who spoke first. “So, wait. You’re gay?”

  Teagan burst out laughing. “Really, Cal? That’s what you took away from all of that?”

  “Hey, I’m still processing all of it! But, I mean… Since when are you into dudes, McNeill?”

  I laughed. “What can I say, Cal?” I faced him, showing my palms. “I just couldn’t give my heart to another woman after your mom—”

  “Oh for fuck’s sake.” He dropped back into his chair. “Asshole.”

  “As always,” Teagan said, “you walked into that.”

  “Can we get back to the important subject here?” Bianca gestured at me. “How the hell did you hook up with him?”

  “And when did you really switch to dudes?” Scott asked. “You were banging—”

  “Shut up,” Cal muttered.

  “Not your mom.” Scott rolled his eyes. “You brought that redhead to the Christmas party last year.”

  “And what about all the bullshit you were preaching about the G-spot?” Bianca asked.

  I put up my hands again. “Okay, first of all, the G-spot is not bullshit, and the redhead I brought to the Christmas party would happily testify to that. And second, if you look up the word ‘bisexual’ in the dictionary, it might explain a few things.”

  “Okay, but…” Silent Dave said. “Why didn’t you tell us?”

  “Yeah.” Cal eyed me over his monitor. “You’ve really been into dudes and chicks all this time, but you never said anything to us?”

  I swallowed. “I… It wasn’t really something I advertised. I mean, you guys, you’re from a different gene
ration. Mine…wasn’t quite so open about stuff like that.”

  Bianca shook her head. “Wow. I can’t imagine being closeted for that long.”

  “No kidding,” Scott said. “Being in the closet all the way through the Ice Age must’ve been—”

  “Fuck you.” I rolled my eyes and chuckled.

  Cal leaned back in his chair, lacing his hands behind his head. “I don’t know what you were so worried about. I mean, I’m cool with it. In fact, I think you should bring him next time we all hang out.”

  “You… Really?”

  “Well, yeah.” Cal shrugged. “Dude’s loaded—he can buy the booze!”

  Everyone burst out laughing.

  “All right, all right,” I said. “Get back to work, you guys.”

  As Silent Dave put his headphones back on, and everyone else resumed chattering and working, Teagan came around her table. She hugged me gently. “That took some serious balls. What you said to Rick, I mean.”

  “No, it didn’t. It just needed to be done.” As she released me, I added, “I was going crazy without him.”

  “I know you were. I could tell. But you also stood up for all of us by doing that.”

  “I wish I could say that was why I did it.”

  She smiled. “Even if it was a side effect, it was a good one. And you got your man back.”

  “Thank God,” I breathed, my shoulders dropping. “Another day of that, and I—”

  “Don’t. You’ve got him. Don’t work yourself up over what might’ve happened.”

  “You know that’s about as effective as telling you not to put your coffee so close to your model, right?”

  “I know, but it was worth a try.” She patted my arm. “Now get back to work so you don’t get fired.”

  She returned to her table, and I was about to return to mine, but my phone buzzed on my desk.

  It was a text from Rick, and his five simple words ensured I wasn’t getting a goddamned thing done for the rest of the day:

  What’s the plan for tonight?

  Chapter Thirty-Four

  We didn’t make any plans beyond his place, ASAP. I didn’t bother stopping to pick up any toys or implements, and I didn’t spend the afternoon thinking of ways to tie him up and tease him and make him go crazy. What would happen when we stepped through that front door was anyone’s guess.