Wesley

by Leanne Davis

  “She was really watching you hugging me. She was jealous. Believe me, Wesley, I know what I am talking about. I know what girl-daggers look like and your girl Dani was trying to stab my heart out.”

  “That doesn’t sound like Dani at all.”

  “Well, I never met her, but she was pissed you were hugging me and going off alone with me. The hot guy glaring at us, that was who?”

  “Wyatt. Cop’s son. Hates me with a burning passion.”

  “What did you do to him?”

  “Showed up. That privileged ass is some kind of football star at college. His girlfriend is right there with his nice, married, and non-abusive parents. What the hell does he have to hate me for? I have nothing on him, but he still hates me. I should be the one to hate him because he’s come after me enough times.”

  “Maybe it has something to do with how his girlfriend looks at you.”

  “I swear to God, he never even notices her and me. But she doesn’t look at me like anything special. You saw him. Why would she choose me over him?”

  “Sex doesn’t make sense, Wesley. Who we want is never who makes the best sense. Look at me with Bobby. The fucker punched me in the eye!”

  I swing an arm around her neck, flinching. “I hate knowing that happened to you.”

  She shrugs under my arm. “It’s not the worst, huh?”

  “I know,” I say quietly.

  She nods. “Of course, you know. So, you’re saying I get to stay with the cop and his family? Well, why not? The house looks like a luxury resort. Show me the way.”

  I laugh at her gall. “No worries of imposing, huh?”

  She waves her hand around. “I take what I can get when I can get it. You know we have to.”

  “I know. We have to.” I wish sometimes that wasn’t how I understood the world. Though, I never thought about it too much, not until I lived here for a few weeks. And watched Dani. Tara. Ryder. Not Wyatt. He reminds me why I have to take what I can get when I can get it. Our starting points in life are so far apart that any failure by Wyatt would have to have been so epically stupid that he wasted his God-given athleticism, grades, and family support. He started one hundred miles ahead of me on the road of life, and I began my journey one hundred miles behind the starting point. We’re not even in the same race. Wyatt could afford to be nice, decent, kind, and forgiving to the world at large.

  I could not.

  I got eaten up and spat out by a world that received Wyatt with tenderness, concern, compassion, and love. Hell, just the daily nutrition he received compared to what I had to eat—well, fuck him for being such a jerk to me!

  Maybe it scares him to realize there are ugly things like poverty, foster care, abuse, and neglect because it infringes on his rosy view of the world and his privileged status in it. Still, he doesn’t have to be such a dick.

  Jacey loops her long arm through mine and tugs. “Well, then, come on. Let’s go tick off the privileged ass who’s being so mean to you.”

  I smile. I love that thought. I let her pull me, and we head up to the house, laughing over it still. Most of the crowd seems to have left. I enter the back door, walking through the laundry room and into the kitchen. Ryder and Tara work at cleaning up together. Of course, there’s Dani helping, too.

  Always the helpful, nice, respectful, perfectly behaved girl. I wonder if she ever gets tired of that image. Then I shake it off.

  Nah, she thrives on it. Exactly why we have nothing in common. Even if we might like each other’s company. Now that Jacey is here, I feel annoyed with Dani’s goodness. Couldn’t she break free of the perfection? The politeness? The Wyatt relationship?

  “Hello,” Tara greets us.

  “Jacey wanted to visit me. She had no idea I stopped traveling and was staying somewhere like this.”

  “No, I imagine not.” Tara directs her gaze to Jacey. “Are you a traveler, too?”

  “No. I just had a shitty boyfriend, and Wesley helped me out. I’m also nineteen so I’m long out of the system and have no warrants. Jacey Walker. You can look me up if you need proof.” Tara blinks in surprise at her confident answer and rapid purging of information. So opposite of me. Jacey is always in people’s faces with her information. But her feelings? I’m not sure even she knows what they are or could recognize them if she was asked to.

  “Okay then. So, Wesley is nineteen? We didn’t know for sure. Jacey Walker. Are you okay?”

  “I am now that I’m away from the asshole who did this.” She touches her eye.

  “Could she stay a day or two? Until she can make other arrangements? She assumed I was on the road and it would have been no big deal to hang with me for a while, you know? I don’t usually have to ask anyone.”

  “Of course.” Tara glances at Ryder. He strides forward with his hand out to shake. Completely non-threatening. I wonder why more officials or just regular adults couldn’t approach youth, who are already so distrustful and disillusioned, more like the way Ryder does. Open. Easy. As if he would gladly talk or interact with us, but it’s not necessary either.

  “Ryder Kincaid, nice to meet you, Jacey. So, you’re not a minor? I appreciate your honesty. And you’re welcome to stay here.”

  “I have a sleeping bag. I can use the couch.”

  “There’s a spare room next to the one Wesley occupies,” Tara adds with a smile.

  I smile back at her. “We weren’t going to ask you to share. And thank you.”

  “You’re welcome.”

  I lift my gaze and see Dani staring at us, watching the entire exchange. She’d been scrubbing off the counter with a wet dishcloth but is very still now because she is eavesdropping on us. She quickly looks at her hands when she realizes I’m watching her. She starts scrubbing harder at the already clean and cleared off counter. Was Jacey right? I can’t imagine someone like her going from the accomplished, together, privileged Wyatt… to me.

  But she was definitely listening intently and seemed angry at her dishcloth. Hmm. But knowing this, I don’t know what to do about her.

  Wyatt, however, rises from the couch. I wave at him. “Jacey Walker, Wyatt Kincaid and Dandria Dawson.”

  Jacey puts her hand up in a salute. “Hey.”

  “Hi.”

  “Hello, Jacey. You can call me Dani,” Dani says. Is there an edge to her voice? Did she just stiffen? I’m so confused by her reception of Jacey. I’ve never seen Dani be anything but sweet and kind and shy and bashful. Proper and perfect.

  Not cold, glaring and what? Intimidated. Maybe she’s worried about Jacey staying here with Wyatt. Jacey is gorgeous, if one wasn’t raised near her and only knew her as a ten-year-old kid. We don’t have any sexual spark between us. Then again, Wyatt and Dani knew each other at age ten and look at all the sex they’re having. I actually don’t know if they are, since they are discreet, but still.

  But, hell, if I can claim that with Dani and me. I mean, about not being attracted to her.

  “Something to eat, Jacey?” Jacey quickly takes the plate Tara offers and starts filling up her plate with leftovers. She only glances up when she realizes the Kincaids have all stopped what they were doing to stare at her. Not meaning to be rude, I’m sure. I’ve experienced them enough by now to know.

  I burst out laughing as Jacey looks around guiltily. “Sorry, is it okay? I haven’t eaten all day.”

  “Of course. Of course, honey. Eat all you want.”

  I knew that about Jacey and I identified with it. Take what you can get when you can get it. Jacey and I didn’t always have it or get it. Often. These people never suffered that reality. I wrap an affectionate arm around her shoulder to ease the tension. “She’s harmless, but she might eat you out of house and home.”

  She elbows me in the gut playfully. “Ha. I don’t have a fraction of Wesley’s appetite. I’m sure they’ve already realized that by now.”

  “I might have noticed. Feeding Wesley and Wyatt is like having a pack of starving, ravenous wolves. They start circling wh
en it’s meal time.”

  I scowl at being associated with Wyatt in any way. Jacey sits down to eat, and I stay near her. I admit it’s nice to feel like I can let all of my personality hang out. I can be me as I always have been. My type of person. Because never have the Kincaids or Dani been my type of people.

  Jacey finishes after we chat and laugh over shared jokes and catch up on everything since last we saw each other. I marvel at Jacey’s strength. She doesn’t cry or sniffle about Bobby. I’m sure she compartmentalizes it as being done and over and lets any hurt or pain that Bobby caused her go. Be gone. Out of her mind.

  The Kincaids wish us all good night. Dani and Wyatt sit in the living room on the couch together. I try not to notice. But every few minutes, my gaze wanders that way. Several times Jacey slaps my hand and strains her eyes at me, silently saying, “quit gawking” and I try to, realizing she’s right. It’s about then I see what a struggle it is for me not to gawk at her. Then Wyatt gets up and walks over to us. To my shock, he sprawls in a chair near us, at the kitchen breakfast table. He crosses his arms over his chest. Dani follows a few moments later, obviously surprised like me that Wyatt sits anywhere near me.

  “How do you two know each other?” Wyatt asks when Jacey gives him a raised eyebrow of “what?”

  “We were in foster care together. Met at a group home. He stopped a bitch from stealing my food. Remember Tansie? God, I hated her. Bigger and meaner than any grizzly bear.”

  I laugh. “You exaggerate. She was barely twelve.”

  “Well, she could have ripped me to pieces. She bullied the shit out of me and scared me into peeing my pants whenever she came near me. Big, old Wesley came and told her to knock it off or he’d knock out her teeth, girl or not. She quit bothering me after that.”

  “So, you were together all those years ago?” Dani asks, speaking to Jacey and avoiding my watchful reaction to her.

  “No. I left, and he got sent to another home. We’ve always kept in contact though. Can’t trust too many people in our world. I keep close to those that I can.” She reaches over and takes my fingers in hers to squeeze with a special look and smile. I steal a peek between my eyelids and notice Dani’s scowl as her gaze stays glued on our linked hands.

  She probably thinks we fuck. I realize it like a bolt of lightning and intuitive knowledge. Somehow, it makes me a little happy she believes that and is reacting to something specific. What? Jealousy? It’s too hard for me to believe Jacey has gotten that right so quickly. No! There’s Wyatt. Always Wyatt, her long-term boyfriend.

  Then, not shy or subtle, Jacey waves at Wyatt. “So, you’re some kind of big-assed football star, huh?”

  He glances at me, surprised that I described him that way? Perhaps. Then my oh-so-honest and embarrassing friend adds, “Good Lord, Wesley probably doesn’t know what a football looks like.” She snickers. Dani laughs and stops scowling at Jacey.

  “I’ll have you know I played it with QB1 here and held my own. And I know what a football looks like,” I mutter, giving her a dirty look.

  “QB1? Ha ha, listen to you now, stud. So what school, Wyatt?”

  “University of Northern Oregon.”

  “Hmm. Impressive. Big man on campus?” she’s teasing him but there is also something slightly mocking in Jacey’s tone, which I love. She can take a positive, popular thing about this guy and make it seem small and trite, which really, to Jacey and me, it is. We’ve spent our teens trying to dodge fists swinging from lots of different sources and he runs around and practices hitting people for fun and sport. Vastly different motives.

  “Big enough,” he answers, challenging her. Eyeing her up. “Not that you’ll ever know.”

  Dear God, was Wyatt just being friendly to Jacey? Or flirting with her? Dani doesn’t seem to notice or care. I can’t get a grip on these two. It took Jacey showing up to see sides of them I’ve never seen before: Wyatt is being friendly to someone who is poor, while Dani is annoyed at someone for no reason who doesn’t deserve it.

  Chapter 11

  DANI

  I stay away from the Kincaids for a few days. I work at the café and see Wesley. He gives me a few snippets of information that Jacey is still there. Then on Thursday, I swing into my boyfriend’s house. No cars are about. I knock, no one answers. I glance back when I hear noises clanging from the barn. Wesley? Most likely. I highly doubt it’s Jacey. No. Jacey has taken to walking or jogging down along the river. Wonderful, isn’t it? Wesley mentioned that in passing. Wyatt, too. Great. I assume she’s there now.

  I enter the barn. Wesley’s working with the tools near where I first pulled the pitchfork on him. He doesn’t seem to be aware of me. Kiddingly, I grab the same pitchfork and sneak up behind him before gently touching his ass with it. He jumps and turns immediately, already grabbing for the object, until he has my wrist in his hand. His breath is coming hard, and his eyes are wide with surprise, but flinty in their coldness.

  Immediately, I realize I shouldn’t have done that. He always seems to think people are coming after him. So, pretending isn’t funny but more like mocking him.

  I let the farm implement go. “I’m sorry! I just meant it as a joke… you know, because—”

  “You tried to stab me with it when we met.”

  “Well, yes.”

  He leans down to pick up the pitchfork and rests it against the wall. “It’s okay. I have fond memories of this weapon now.”

  “I shouldn’t have tried to come up behind you and scare you.”

  “No. Probably not. But I get the joke. It’s okay. Not your fault I might try to attack before I know better. Too many close calls in my life not to respond with an attack if something comes at me.” He gentles his hand on my wrist. Wincing, he glances down. “I hope I didn’t hurt you.”

  His hand rubs gently over my wrist and makes all my nerve endings stand on end. “No, no, of course not. I would have deserved it anyway.”

  “No. I’m the jumpy one.”

  “I’m the idiot who isn’t considerate.” Strangely, I slide my hand over his, where it rests on my wrist. He pauses, I’m sure I can feel his surprise. I stare at his face. His neck is bent, and his eyes are riveted on our joined hands. My throat grows dry. “Jacey would know better.”

  “Jacey?” he lifts his gaze to me now. I feel the heat in my face, glad he doesn’t see it.

  “Right. She understands you, where I don’t.”

  “Yeah, she does. But I wouldn’t say you don’t. You just don’t know me well enough to know how I react to certain things.”

  “Right, because I don’t even know your last name. She does.”

  “Yeah. She does.” He holds me, and I keep my hand on his. “Why are we talking about Jacey?”

  “She and you—”

  “Are friends. Very good friends. I consider her my sister.”

  “Sister?” My eyebrows jolt upwards.

  “Why would you care?”

  “I just thought—”

  “What, Dani? What did you think? Why are you out here? Why are you touching me?”

  I swallow hard at his direct questions and gaze at him. “I’m…”

  “You’re fucking Wyatt.” His tone is harsh, and I flinch at his words, mostly because of the truth in them. “Imagine how hard that is for me. You’re worried about thinking I might be with Jacey? But I know for a fact that you are with Wyatt. So, go back to him. Go to your guy. Enjoy it. Don’t ruin it for nothing.”

  “Nothing? We are nothing then?”

  “We are supposed to be nothing. Right? That’s how it’s supposed to be. Friends at the most.”

  I lick my lips. Sure. He’s right. I have no other claim to him. I don’t know… I don’t know…

  He stares at me. Whispering, he says, “Why are you out here?”

  “Do you want me out here?”

  He sucks in a breath, his massive chest expanding and contracting before he lets me go and turns away from me. “What I want has never become my reality.
So, nothing would make that any different now.”

  “That’s a riddle to me.”

  “You’re a riddle to me. What are you doing? What are we talking about and why? Why are we talking like this when we never have before? I don’t understand.”

  He’s right. He’s so right. I bite my lip, trying to hold in my words and tears and confusion. I shut my eyes. “I’m out here because I think… I just wanted to understand…” Jacey. I want to understand what Jacey is to him. Because that quickly and this easily I am burning up with jealousy over her. Rational? Oh, hell no! I have no right. No right to feel this way. To demand or want anything from Wesley. I’m totally in the wrong. About all of this. Yet it’s exactly what I feel.

  I step forward and touch his arm. He turns at my touch instantly as if he expects it, or maybe he is so startled by it, he reacts by flipping around. He stares at me and my heart jumps up into my eyes as I look back at him. I have to tilt my head backward when he steps right up into my personal space. I have to retreat further until I’m backed up against the barn wall. His eyes gleam with undisguised want and need, everything that isn’t friend-like in feelings.

  He leans down and down and down and all I have to do is… not! Do not kiss him. Do not stand there. Do not be there.

  But of course, I came looking for him and perhaps it was to do this. Maybe all along I was intending to make a pass at him. Even if I could not admit that to myself.

  His mouth touches mine. It’s soft at first. Our lips meet, pillowing each other and allowing just our lips to touch. His hands slide to my waist, and ever so softly, he holds me. He is bending down to touch my face as I raise up on my toes to get nearer to him. Then his hands slide up into my hair and he cups the back of my head, using his thumbs to rub behind my ears as his fingertips massage my scalp until it feels tingly and warm. Then we both melt and sink into the kiss. Our lips move together, softly at first and it seems like forever. Then our mouths move with more speed and urgency. His tongue sinks into my mouth and mine rushes to meet his. We tangle and taste each other, and his mouth grows hotter and more furious on mine as I moan into his throat. His hands are gentle and big as they hold my head and he places it where he wants it.