by Renee Ryan
Slapping her palm against her thigh, she jerked her chin at him. The building’s outdoor lighting gleamed in her eyes, making her look fiercely beautiful and yet painfully vulnerable. He wanted to yank her into his arms and hold her until she wasn’t frightened anymore. But that would defeat the purpose of his plan.
So he remained perfectly still and waited for her to break the silence.
“Don’t look so smug,” she warned. “I will get my way on this.”
“I’ll say the same to you.”
She shook her head at him. The building’s artificial light turned her dark waves into a rippling black waterfall of curls. She really was extraordinary. She took his breath away.
“So, here we are again. At a stalemate.” Her voice rang with such frustration, his chest ached with remorse. He hated being at odds with this woman, even if he was right and she was dead wrong.
“I’m not happy about this, either,” he said.
“Then give up. Accept defeat.”
“Not a chance.” Despite her arguments otherwise, he’d won this round. Hailey was having doubts, just as he planned.
Next order of business. Wolf needed to reveal the harsh realities of the Sandpit. In living color. The most accessible footage was on the Internet.
But how was he going to get the stubborn woman in front of a computer?
While he was contemplating various possibilities, she changed the subject on him. “How are you settling into life back in the States?”
“Slowly.” He wondered if he should tell her about his visit to Cottrell Field this morning but quickly decided against it. There was already too much tension between them. He didn’t want Clay in the middle, too. “I’m moving off post this weekend.”
“But…” Her eyebrows slammed together. “I didn’t realize you were living there.”
“Only temporarily. I’m moving to a town house in Savannah.” As soon as the words left his mouth he had his idea. “Would you help me shop for towels, kitchen-ware, you know, stuff like that? I could use a woman’s opinion.”
Especially if that woman was the green-eyed beauty staring at him now. He watched in fascination as Hailey transitioned right before his eyes from a woman of fierce resolve to one filled with age-old female secrets. The kind that hooked a man into all sorts of promises.
“Of course I’ll help you,” she all but purred. A slow grin spread across her face. “Under one condition.”
His blood pumped slow and thick through his veins. Oh, yeah. He’d give this woman anything she asked of him. “Anything.”
“I want a ride on your motorcycle.” She raised her hand to keep him from speaking over her. “Or no deal.”
He couldn’t resist a smile at the sight of all that fierce determination. “Done.”
Really, that had to be the easiest bargain he’d ever struck with another human being.
Saturday morning dawned clear, the blue sky completely cloudless. Hailey, however, had several other concerns on her mind that wiped out her joy over the gorgeous weather.
Frowning, she climbed out of Wolf’s car and jammed her fists on her hips. “It’s not that I don’t appreciate Stella.” She eyed the steel monster for a long moment, her annoyance melting into an odd sort of fondness. “In fact, the old girl’s starting to grow on me.”
“She does have her charm,” Wolf agreed, patting the roof of the car with a rather unhealthy dose of affection.
What is it with him and this car? And why did it matter to Hailey so much? She couldn’t possibly be jealous of a hunk of metal. Could she?
“Nevertheless,” she said, sharply ignoring the knot of unease twisting in her stomach. “I find it necessary to remind you that we had a deal. You promised me a ride on your motorcycle before we went shopping. And yet, here we are.”
She made a grand sweep of her hand, making sure the arc included not only the building but the entire parking lot.
Laughing softly, he swung his arm over her shoulder and tugged her against his warm, muscular body. “Come on, Hail, lighten up. You know we can’t cart around supplies on my bike.”
She answered with a very unladylike snort.
“Tell you what.” He drew her in a fraction closer to his chest. “You fulfill your end of the bargain and as soon as we’re done here I’ll fulfill mine.”
Instead of shoving him away—like she should, considering his arrogant tone—Hailey snuggled deeper inside Wolf’s embrace. She told herself this strange desire to be near him had nothing, nothing, to do with the sense of comfort and safety she felt in his arms. Nor was it because of the pleasant tingle running up her spine that came when she breathed in his masculine scent of leather, soap and spice.
No. The decision to cling to him was all about the cool breeze sweeping across the parking lot. Nothing more.
Then why did she feel so lost when he dropped his arm and headed toward the store’s entrance ahead of her?
“So, uh, Wolf.” Hailey trotted after him. “Remind me again why we’re shopping here and not on post.”
“Simple.” He pulled loose a shopping cart from the long stack, his gaze riveted on a colorful display of a popular sports drink. “More variety.”
“But everything’s so much more expensive here,” she said.
He went completely still at her remark. The only part of him moving was his blinking eyelashes. “Wolf?”
“I can afford this store,” he ground out through a clenched jaw.
Momentarily bemused by the sudden change in him, Hailey looked everywhere but at his irritated expression. How could she have predicted he’d be so touchy? Because Clay had been the same way when he’d first returned from Iraq. Seemingly inconsequential things had upset him, while others had not. There had been no predicting his reaction, not at first, not until he’d acclimated.
“Wolf, I’m sorry,” she began carefully. “I didn’t mean to imply that you couldn’t afford this store. I was only trying to be practical. I…” She sighed. “I apologize.”
He responded with a distant nod. “Okay.”
It wasn’t much of an acceptance. Probably because her apology hadn’t sounded sincere enough. “Really, Wolf. I’m sorry.”
“I know.” He pushed the cart out of the way of oncoming traffic. “Try to understand, Hailey. To me, shopping in any store is a luxury. After a year in the desert, I just want to cruise aisles full of so many choices my head spins. And this particular store is known for its variety.”
“Then what are we waiting for? Let’s get to it.”
They shopped for two full hours, wading up and down the aisles with no real plan. Understanding the situation better, Hailey allowed Wolf to push the cart at his pace. She also stood by patiently while he struggled over what seemed basic, straightforward decisions to her.
To him, they were dilemmas.
What color towels should he pick? Did he need four dinner plates or eight? Two skillets or one?
She could tell by the increasingly taut series of expressions on his face that each decision was getting harder for him to make.
They turned onto the small appliance aisle, and he stopped. He just stopped. Right there. In the middle of the aisle, and stood motionless, blinking rapidly, seemingly riveted by whatever he saw up ahead of him.
Desperation suddenly filled his gaze. And then…
His eyes went dead.
Hailey had lost him. Completely. And she wasn’t sure how to get him back.
An ugly void of nothing filled Wolf’s mind, followed by an intense rush of panic. Rage hovered so close to the edge of his control he didn’t know what to do with it.
His thoughts tumbled over one another so quickly he had to grip the shopping cart ruthlessly to keep his hands from shaking.
There were too many noises surrounding him, too many colors and too many people. So…many…people.
He was having sensory overload. He recognized the signs, yet he was too detached from himself to do anything about it.
He couldn’t make another decision. Not. One. More. But that wasn’t the main reason his mind had become a ball of chaotic fury.
It was the ridiculous argument he’d overheard. The one still going on behind him.
He breathed in a slow, careful breath, then let it out even slower. But nothing helped. His anger increased as the woman carried on, complaining about the low thread count in the bedsheets someone had handed her. On and on she went.
Didn’t she understand what a privilege it was to purchase a set of bedsheets in the first place? Didn’t she know how fortunate she was to have a bed at all, much less sheets and blankets? And yet she was still complaining.
Wolf had to get out of here. Before he said—or did—something he couldn’t take back.
“Wolf.” Hailey’s voice called to him from what seemed a great distance. He’d nearly forgotten she was here with him.
She placed a gentle hand on his arm. The soft touch instantly calmed him.
“Wolf, honey.” Her voice washed over him in soothing ripples. “Look at me.”
He rolled his gaze in her direction.
They stared at one another, both understanding that he was teetering on the edge.
“Why don’t you wait for me in the car?” she suggested softly.
He shook his head, unable to focus completely on what she was saying, but knowing he needed to do what she advised.
“Go on.” She nudged him with her hip. “I’ll finish up here.”
“I—”
“It’s all right.” She cupped his cheek tenderly. “Just go to the car. I’ve got this.”
He resisted the urge to close his eyes and lean into her hand. “I need air,” he admitted.
“Oh, Wolf, it’s okay.” She caressed his cheek. “It’s okay.”
Her kindness—he didn’t know what to do with it. Part of him wanted to embrace it, to fall into all that goodness and affection he saw in her eyes. Another part of him wanted to run because he couldn’t release the anger gnawing at him.
Lash out? Escape? Both viable options. Which meant he had a classic case of fight or flight.
Without another word he turned on his heel and started toward the front of the store. He halted after two steps.
His breathing wouldn’t stop its erratic rhythm, his head swam with too many angry images but at least he had the presence of mind to remember where he was, who he was with and what they were doing.
“Here.” He dug his wallet out of his back pocket and handed her a bunch of bills. “Use the cash to pay for my purchases.”
She took the money without question. “I’ll make this quick.”
“Okay.”
“Go on, Wolf. It’s all right.” Her eyes held such understanding, it made him feel stripped to the bone. He didn’t want anyone, not even Hailey, to see that deeply into his soul.
He stalked to the store’s entrance at a fast pace. His chest ached. His eyes burned. But he kept his mind blank and his senses shut down, refusing to look at people, or listen to any more of their conversations.
He’d never felt this before, this all-consuming fury.
But he’d never felt this alone before, either.
Not even in those early days after his father died of alcohol poisoning. Although Wolf had been saddened by the tragic passing, there had also been a sense of relief. His father had been set free from his pain. Wolf had turned to God after that, and had discovered that his faith could get him through the worst life tossed his way.
He had never wavered in his beliefs. Until his Humvee had hit the IED.
Wolf’s steps grew heavy, but he made it to Stella and planted his palm on the car’s hood. Breathing slowly, methodically, he lifted his eyes to heaven. Lord, I need Your help. I need…
What? What did he want from a God that had abandoned him on that Iraqi roadside?
As soon as the question materialized Wolf knew. He wanted his faith back. He wanted to believe again. He wanted God to prove to him he wasn’t here by mistake. That he still mattered.
And that maybe, just maybe, he was worthy of a woman like Hailey O’Brien.
Gulping for air, Wolf climbed into the car and sat behind the driver’s seat. He leaned on the steering wheel and cradled his head on his forearms.
Dear Lord, I…
He didn’t know what to pray for first, there were so many requests running through his mind. He knew he wanted to find a purpose beyond himself, something that meant he was more than just a guy who’d randomly survived an IED attack, while better men had died.
But, wait, he already had such a purpose. He already had a worthy goal.
At last, he knew what to pray. “Lord, I need Your help with Hailey. I need Your guidance. But if You remain silent, if You refuse Your assistance, I will stop her from her dangerous quest somehow. I will find a way.”
No matter the cost.
Chapter Nine
Hailey found Wolf sitting alone in his car. He leaned heavily on the steering wheel, with one foot resting on Stella’s floorboard and the other flat on the concrete. He hadn’t noticed Hailey yet, probably because he was looking straight ahead, his eyes glazed and unfocused.
All that masculine vulnerability radiating out of him took her breath away. Tears leaked out of her eyes. She brushed them away with a quick swipe. It was so easy to forget this big, charming man had just returned from a war zone where he’d lost four of his men, including his best friend.
Searching for the right words, Hailey wheeled the overflowing shopping cart out of the way of traffic and stopped next to him. “Wolf?”
He blinked once, twice, then swung around to face her.
The war of emotions raging in his gaze evened out at last and his expression cleared.
Wolf was back.
Heaving a sigh of relief, Hailey crouched down in front of him. “I was worried about you,” she whispered, afraid to say the words too loudly.
He placed his hands on her shoulders and something moved inside her, something good and permanent and terrifying. She was falling for this gorgeous, sad, courageous man, and she wasn’t sure what came next.
Wolf’s gaze softened. “Thank you, Hailey.”
“For…for what?”
“For knowing what to do back there. For getting me out of the store before something bad happened. No one has ever cared about me like that.” His blue eyes flickered with gratitude. “I owe you. I—”
He broke off, blinked. Blinked again. He had more to say. She saw it in the way the muscles jumped in his jaw, but then his gaze filled with a different sort of intent and he leaned forward.
Hailey’s stomach dropped to her toes at the same moment Wolf’s mouth pressed lightly against hers.
He was actually kissing her. Right there, in the middle of the busiest parking lot in Savannah. And…and…she was kissing him back. Rather enthusiastically, if she did say so herself.
Surprised at her behavior, Hailey lost her balance. Wolf caught her with a hand behind her back, the movement enough to break the kiss.
He smiled slowly and her stomach performed a perfect roll.
“Well,” he said, still grinning.
“Well,” she repeated.
“I didn’t plan that.”
“I…I know.” She angled her head slightly away. This good-looking, flawed soldier had too much power over her, enough to make her start building dreams of happily-ever-after around him.
Was that why he’d kissed her? Had it all been part of his plan? To distract her from her goal?
“This doesn’t change anything,” she said with only a hint of her usual conviction. “I’m still going to the Middle East.”
He knuckled a lock of her hair off her face. “I’d be disappointed if a simple kiss could change your mind that easily.”
Simple? Who was he kidding? There was nothing simple about that kiss, and they both knew it.
“Of course.” He twirled the errant strand around his finger. “I think it’s only fair to warn you that
I’m still going to do everything in my power to sway you to my way of thinking.”
“I’d be disappointed if a simple kiss could change your mind that easily,” she said, using his own words against him.
He laughed, a quick burst of humor. Finally, he looked like his old self again, enough that internal warning bells sounded the alarm in Hailey’s head. “We have a lot of bags to unload,” she reminded them both. “We should probably get to it.”
He looked over her shoulder and grimaced. “Right.” He helped her stand. “Come on. We’re burning daylight.”
Working in silence, they stashed the bags in the trunk. Ever the gentleman, Wolf helped Hailey into her seat before heading to his side of the car.
While he rounded the front end, she debated whether or not to bring up the incident in the store. Over the last week, she’d done considerable research about returning war veterans and their unique struggles. Wolf had some clear signs of battle fatigue, but not all of them.
According to one article, too many people pretended nothing was wrong. But silence was often the biggest detriment to a soldier’s healing. If Wolf was going to overcome whatever was bothering him, he had to talk about it.
Sorting through several different approaches to the conversation, Hailey waited until he shut the car door and turned to look at her. “Ready?”
She shook her head. “No. First, I’d like you to tell me what happened back there.”
“We, uh—” he looked quickly away “—kissed?” Yes. Oh, yes, they had. But that wasn’t what she meant. “Lovely as it was, I’m not talking about our kiss.”
“You thought it was…lovely?” He didn’t seem to know what to make of that.
“No, actually, I thought it was spectacular.”
“Yeah.” A very masculine grin spread across his lips. “It was.”
Refusing to let him sidetrack her—which, unfortunately, he was on the verge of doing—Hailey refocused the conversation. “I was talking about what happened in the store.”
