Uniformly Hot! Volume 1 from Harlequin: Letters from HomeBreaking the RulesComing Up for Air

by Rhonda Nelson

  Winnie gaped at her. “Let me make sure I understand this correctly. You’re happy being miserable?”

  “Yes. It’s how I’m supposed to feel right now.” She gestured to the self-help book on her end table. “According to everything I’ve read, this is how I’m supposed to feel at this stage and that makes me happy. Because, clearly, I’m normal.”

  Winnie snatched the book off the table and stalked to the trash can, where she determinedly threw it. “You’ve lost your freaking mind, you know that?” She jerked her head toward the bedroom. “Go get dressed. We’re going to do something.”

  Natalie looked at her suspiciously. “To do what?”

  “Doesn’t matter. Anything is better than watching you sit here and fester in a pool of your own snot and tears.” She grabbed her hands and yanked Natalie from the couch. “Come on. Move.” She sniffed delicately. “And bathe.”

  Ten minutes later, feeling marginally cleaner if not better, Natalie walked out of her bedroom. Winnie had tidied the living room and had stolen her copy of Love, Actually. She could see the DVD case poking out of the top of her friend’s purse.

  Winnie looked her over and nodded approvingly. “Better,” she said. “You still look like you’ve had an allergic reaction of some sort—”

  “That would be to heartbreak,” Natalie said. “I’m allergic to having my heart broken.”

  “—but you’ll do.”

  Do for what? But Winnie was right. She needed to get out of her house. She’d been holed up here since Levi had left, alternately squalling, puking, watching romantic comedies and working on the stag.

  She’d finished the piece, actually, and for some reason she’d had it in her head that completing the stag would give her some sort of insight, some sort of closure. That being done with the project would change her on the inside.

  It hadn’t.

  She was still broken.

  Though she was still working a bit on the doe, she’d moved the stag into her bedroom and placed it where it was the first thing she saw every morning when she woke up and the last thing she saw before going to sleep. In between, sometimes she’d dream of Levi and sometimes she wouldn’t, but she always awoke with the same lonely feeling in her chest, the same sad realization that, despite the fact that she’d known the rules going in, she was hopelessly, miserably in love with a man she couldn’t have.

  It was horrendously unfair.

  Winnie peered into her room and saw the stag. She let go a little sigh and her gaze softened. “It’s beautiful, Nat.”

  Natalie swallowed thickly. It was, she knew. Some of her very best work. “Thank you.”

  “Have you finished the doe?”

  “Still working on her.”

  Winnie made a low noise in her throat, as though there was some sort of hidden meaning there, but Natalie didn’t have the strength to pursue it. She blew out a breath, put out fresh water for Geraldine and looked at her friend. “So where are we going?”

  “You’ll see when we get there.”

  Whatever, Natalie thought.

  “I think I saw your dad’s truck parked over at Eloise Dawson’s house on the way here,” Winnie remarked.

  Despite her own misery, Natalie chuckled. “I’m sure you did. I’m relatively certain that he’s been spending the night over there.”

  Winnie chuckled. “Sounds like that trip to Uncle Milton’s stirred some things up for your father.”

  It sure as hell had, Natalie thought. She didn’t know exactly what had transpired, but it had been good for both of them. Her father had returned with a spring in his step and a new kind of aftershave and, most shocking of all, no longer insisted on going combing with her. That conversation had been an eye-opener, but she was so very thankful for the progress.

  Oh, and he’d sold the lot next door.

  It absolutely blew her mind, what little of it was not preoccupied with Levi.

  At any rate, other than being a wretched lump of human flesh pining away for her soldier, she had to admit things were looking up around Camp Rowland. As for the lot, when she’d asked who he’d sold it to, all her father had said was that she didn’t need to worry, that he was keeping it in the family. More than likely one of her cousins had finally worn him down, Natalie had concluded, and in the grand scheme of things, she just didn’t care. She was too busy trying to remember to breathe in and out all day.

  Winnie drove a short distance down the road and surprised Natalie by pulling into the McPherson driveway. “We’re here,” she announced as she shifted into Park.

  “What?” Natalie frowned and looked at her friend. “What are we doing here?”

  “Adam asked me to bring you by.”

  For reasons she couldn’t explain, Natalie felt betrayed. “You’re talking to him that much, are you?”

  A shadow moved over Winnie’s face, making Natalie instantly regret the petty question. “No,” she said. “But he did come round the bakery this morning and told me that he had something to show you. He said he’d called several times, but couldn’t get you to answer the phone.”

  She hadn’t been answering the phone for anybody. She didn’t want to talk about how awful and wretched she felt. It only served to make her more pathetic.

  “Sorry,” Natalie mumbled. “I thought the two of you were making some progress.”

  Winnie smiled sadly. “I did, too.”

  “Oh, Winnie. I’m such a self-absorbed friend.”

  Winnie gave her head a sanctimonious nod. “I forgive you. Now let’s go.”

  Winnie led the way around to the back of the house and they found Adam in the screened-in porch, reading a true-crime paperback.

  “I didn’t know you read,” Natalie said, more than a little surprised at his new pastime.

  Adam feigned outrage and jerked his head toward the boat. “I do. And I can write, too. It’s some of that fancy learnin’ I picked up in school.”

  Natalie looked out at the dock and Levi’s boat. She inhaled sharply when she saw the new name that had been stenciled onto the back.

  Second Helping.

  Adam grinned. “Levi told me that it would have a significant meaning for you.”

  New tears pricked her lids. “It does.”

  “He wanted me to show it to you.”

  She turned and shot him a grateful look over her shoulder. “Thank you.”

  He quirked a brow. “Want to share the inside joke?”

  Natalie managed a watery grin. “Nope. Just use your imagination.”

  And, dammit, she was going to have to use hers to figure out a way to make this work. They had to. The alternative wasn’t working for her at all. When Levi came home, Natalie promised herself, she’d have some sort of plan in place. Anything was better than this. Any arrangement was better than not having one at all, right?

  14

  Dear Levi,

  I saw the boat today. Love the new name. Would it be tacky of me to ask for a third helping? Fourth even? Though I’ve tried to “diet” I still find myself very hungry…

  Six weeks later…

  LEVI DROPPED his duffel bag on Natalie’s front porch and prepared to ring her doorbell. It had been two months since he’d last seen her, though he’d gotten dozens of letters from her during that time. Letters that had made him laugh, made him smile, made him miss her all the more. Letters that had made him hard, letters that had enflamed him.

  Despite the fact that he’d told himself that things wouldn’t work between them, that they were each too invested in their own lives, Levi couldn’t let it go. Couldn’t stop thinking about what his brother had told him. That a nontraditional relationship would be better than nothing at all.

  Initially, he’d rejected the idea out of hand. How could he ask her to live like that? To do things so very differently from their own parents? To live apart for long stretches of time, but still be essentially…together?

  Then again, how could he not?

  Because doing it the way they�
��d been doing it for the past two months had just about killed him. He could not—and didn’t want to—live without her.

  Natalie Rowland filled a void in his life that Levi had never been aware existed…until she wasn’t there anymore. She completed him. Made him more. Made him want to be better.

  More than anything, though, he just wanted to be with her. Whenever he could. Period. And as Adam had so insightfully pointed out, that was better than the nothing they had now.

  So no, this definitely wasn’t going to be a conventional relationship—they each had things that were too important to simply give up—but they could make it work. Or at least, he wanted to try.

  And there was one fantasy of hers that he’d never fulfilled, one of the very first she’d ever written to him. He’d committed it to memory, because he wanted to get it just right.

  Dear Levi,

  I dreamed about you again last night. I dreamed you were home and, more importantly, mine. I dreamed you wanted me, really wanted me, that you walked through my front door, our eyes locked, and a second later you were on me, taking me hard and fast against the door. You kissed me as though you needed my breath to breathe, you took my breasts into your mouth and suckled the peaks until I almost came. You slipped your wickedly talented fingers into my panties and I rubbed myself against you, satisfied…but not. Wanting more. Needing more. I’m hot and muddled now, remembering.

  That made two of them, Levi thought as he finally summoned the courage to ring her doorbell.

  He heard her approach, knew the exact instant her eye went to the peephole and discerned who was there.

  She opened the door, her face a mask of shock and hope and joy.

  Levi’s gaze locked with hers. He showed her everything he had—the frustration, the longing, the desire, the love. Bared it all, and knew when she recognized it because she gave a soft little gasp.

  He strode inside, purposely shut her door, then whirled her around and backed her up against it.

  Then he kissed her.

  Hard and deep, long and slow, he tangled his tongue around hers, giving her everything he had. Sweet Lord, how he loved her. She tasted so damned wonderful.

  She came alive in his arms, feeding at his mouth, running her hands through his hair. She kneaded his shoulders and rubbed herself against him, just as mindless, just as desperate as he was.

  Levi freed himself from his pants, lifted her up and pushed her sundress out of the way, then nudged her panties aside. A moment later he was in heaven. He was in her. And he could breathe again.

  “I need you,” he said, pushing in and out of her, flexing his hips as she welcomed him deep inside her hot little body. “We have to figure out a way to make this work.”

  Natalie whimpered against him, tightened her greedy feminine muscles around his shaft. “I agree. But could we finish this first? Because—” she gasped, “I want—I need—”

  “Me,” he finished for her, pistoning in and out of her. “You need me. You want me.”

  With a long slow howl, he levered in and out, frantically racing for release, for the absolute pleasure he’d only find with her. Her breath came in broken little puffs and he could feel her nearing climax, could feel it gathering in his own loins.

  A cry suddenly tore from her throat and she spasmed hard around him, an insistent grip and release that triggered his own release. He bucked hard and angled up, planting his feet firmly beneath them to keep from falling down as the orgasm washed through him, threatening to buckle his knees. He went weak, God help him, almost dizzy. With effort, he pulled away from her and righted her dress.

  Natalie kissed him tenderly, reverently, and her brown eyes glittered with unshed tears. “I thought we’d already established that I wanted you,” she said, her voice thick.

  Levi brushed a kiss over her temple and sighed heavily. “The thing is…what we haven’t fully established is that I’m in love with you.”

  Her eyes widened and she seemed to melt against him. “You’re right. I don’t think we’ve established that.”

  He pretended to think about it. “Right. Well, I’m here to correct that.” He cupped her jaw. “I’m in love with you, Nat, and I know the logistics are going to be a nightmare, but I was sort of hoping that a.) you loved me, too, and b.) you’d want to try and make this work.”

  A cautious smile faltered over her lips. “Make it work how?”

  He shook his head. “First things first. Do you love me?”

  She framed his face with her hands, the gesture so simple and heartfelt that a nebulous obstruction gathered in his throat. “You must not have gotten my latest letter.”

  He drew back and looked at her. “Oh?”

  “Yes, because if you had, you would know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I do love you. With every fiber in my being.”

  He rested his forehead against hers. “I like every fiber in your being.”

  She grinned softly. “You still didn’t answer my question.”

  “What question was that?”

  “How are we going to make it work? I’m here, you’re—” She gestured helplessly. “—wherever you are next.”

  “Germany.”

  Her eyes widened. “Germany? Really. Er…”

  “Here’s what I was thinking,” Levi said. “I was thinking that you could marry me and we would split time between here and, in the immediate future, Germany.”

  “Split time?”

  He squeezed her for emphasis. “We can make it work, Nat. I know that it won’t be an ordinary arrangement, but I can’t stand the idea of the alternative.” His gaze searched hers. “I love you. I want to be with you. The rest—” He shrugged. “—it doesn’t matter. All that matters is that you’re mine.”

  “You would be happy living like that?”

  “I’ll be happy with you,” he said. “We can have both, you see? It doesn’t have be either-or. We can have it all. My question is, can you live that way? Would you even want to?”

  Her coffee-colored eyes searched his, consideringly. “I’d have to be home in the summer. It’s the high season and—”

  He nodded succinctly. “Done. Home in the summer, whether I can come or not. But winter with me?” he asked cautiously, a hopeful element in his voice he refused to hide.

  She smiled, and happiness infused her wonderfully familiar face. “Of course. I’ll need you to keep me warm.”

  “You never answered my question,” he reminded her.

  A line emerged between her delicate brows. “What question?”

  “Will you marry me?”

  “Oh, Lord, yes,” she said, as though it were a foregone conclusion.

  His chest expanded almost painfully and the smile that slid over his lips had to make him look like an utter fool. But he was her fool. He glanced around her living room. “We’re going to need a bigger place.”

  “We are? For what?”

  “For all the children we’re going to have.”

  She laughed delightedly. “We’ll have to build up, then, because I’m out of room on this lot.”

  Levi chewed the inside of his cheek. “No you’re not.”

  She drew back and gave him a suspicious look. “What?”

  “I talked John into selling me the lot next door.” He looked up and pretended to think about it. “Actually, I called to talk to him about buying it, but when I asked him for your hand, he gave it to us as a wedding gift.”

  There was that melting look again. “You asked my dad for my hand?”

  “I did.”

  Natalie kissed him again. “You really are a hero, you know that?”

  He shrugged. “Hero, second helping…doesn’t matter so long as I’m yours.”

  Natalie threaded her fingers through his and gently tugged him toward her bedroom. “You definitely are. And I’m hungry.”

  Though he didn’t believe he could be distracted from her, Levi’s gaze landed on the stag. “You moved him into your room?”

  She smiled a
gain, just the faintest quirk of her lips. “I did. I wanted you in here with me.”

  “Me?” Levi asked, staring at the beautiful, hauntingly familiar work of art.

  “Yes, you. He’s my interpretation of you.”

  Touched beyond words, Levi looked down at her. “Natalie, I don’t know what to say. It’s…It’s remarkable. I’m honored. Thank you.” He frowned as a thought struck. “Where’s the doe?”

  “She’s still in the studio. I’m not done with her yet.”

  Oh, no, Levi thought. That wouldn’t do. He went to get her, then brought her back into the bedroom and carefully deposited her next to the stag. “You can’t separate them,” Levi told her. “It makes them miserable.”

  Natalie considered the two pieces side by side. “You know what? I was wrong. She is complete…now that she’s with you.”

  “I love you.”

  She smiled at him. “So you’ve said.”

  Levi picked her up and tossed her on the bed, then followed her down. “Some things bear repeating.”

  “Like second helpings?”

  He nuzzled her neck. “Definitely second helpings.”

  Epilogue

  One week later…

  Dear Adam,

  Just wanted to pen a quick note to let you know that we’re having a wonderful time. Levi was right. The pyramids are amazing. We’ve toured several tombs and taken a camel ride through the Valley of the Kings. Pretty damned fearless, your brother. Naturally, I find that infinitely appealing. Of course, I find virtually everything appealing about my new husband, so that shouldn’t come as any surprise.

  Though I wasn’t sure I would enjoy this travel thing, I have to admit I’m having the time of my life. I like breathing different air, too—or at least the same air that your brother is breathing. (Though naturally I miss Bethel Bay.)