Cohen

by Emilia Hartley

  “What the hell?” Nick exclaimed.

  “And why’s that?” Jo asked, a bit of defiance creeping into her voice.

  Tom bristled at her tone. “Because you’re—”

  “She’s what, Tom?” Nick interrupted, spinning his brother around to face him. “She’s what?” He watched as the reality of what he’d been about to say dawned on him, his eyes widening in shock.

  “What the hell is going on here?” Jo asked to neither brother in particular. Nick wasn’t really sure how to answer in a way that wouldn’t make her more confused.

  Tom’s fist clenched in a show of resolve, and he turned back to Jo. “He’s got other responsibilities,” he answered, scowling. “Responsibilities that he’s been putting on the back burner since you walked into the shop.”

  “I can take care of myself!” Nick shouted, finally losing his temper. “Holy hell, Tom, you’re my brother, not my father!”

  “Oh my Goodness, Nick, when did you get so fucking stupid?”

  “I care about her, you idiot,” Nick bit back.

  “You’ve only known her for two days!” Tom rebutted, throwing up his hands in disbelief.

  “It means something,” Nick said, being careful with his words.

  “It means nothing,” Tom shouted, shoving Nick hard. “You know the rules.”

  “Rules?” Jo mimicked faintly, wandering listlessly to the sofa. Nick wasn’t sure what was going through her head in that moment, unsure how she’d take his declaration for her. She sat heavily on the sofa, staring at the dead fireplace. “I don’t understand.”

  Nick’s anger blazed, his bear roaring for a battle. “Let’s take this outside, Tom.”

  Tom’s eyes flashed in response to the implied challenge, but before he could turn to leave, he stopped in his tracks, tilting his head to hear. A moment later, Nick caught a scent in the air, and silently cursed himself. They’d been so busy arguing that he hadn’t noticed sooner. His bear roared viciously, clawing and bucking within him painfully, and moment of dreadful certainty settled upon him.

  “We gotta go,” was all he said, taking a step toward the door. His bear protested loudly once more, and with a terrifying inevitability, the worst thing happened.

  The first bone cracked, starting Nick’s shift.

  Tom looked panicked next to Nick, but he couldn’t say much to his little brother. It took all his energy just to keep the change from accelerating faster than it already did. Tom’s gaze flitted from Nick, to Jo, then back to Nick. It was a struggle, but Nick managed a small, defeated shrug. He’d realized his bear’s intent much too late. It stayed quiet, allowing Nick to work himself up over the drama, and hit every shifter’s weakest point, and those were their easiest shift: anger. Nick had said they’d keep this secret from their mate. Clearly the bear had other ideas.

  It was much too late to worry about secrecy now. He was going to change, right here and right now, and Jo was going to witness the whole thing. He didn’t know whether to be utterly terrified or relieved. As a wave of excruciating pain washed over him, he decided that it wasn’t really important.

  He saw Tom turn to Jo with an apologetic look on his face. “I’m sorry, Jo,” his brother said. “This was never about you.” He saw the ripple of Tom’s own change beginning as he tossed the keys he’d been holding to her. As he watched his brother’s face contort in pain, Nick finally let go, granting his bear the freedom it had worked so hard to achieve.

  His change was painful as hell, but quick. His bear exploded from his body, clothes shredding and a chorus of muscles tearing and reknitting in a glorious display. He’d absently heard Jo’s noises of exclamation and fear behind him, but as bear instincts moved more and more to the forefront, the only thing on his mind was making sure the bears that were descending upon the cabin could get nowhere near her. He turned to Tom, who’d just completed his own change. Tom nodded once, signaling he was ready. Neither of them looked at Jo as they thundered outside, ready to defend themselves against Lucas yet again.

  For all of its build up, the Northern Wind didn’t put up much of a fight. Nick found himself mostly chasing shadows in the dimly lit forest, getting the drop on yet another new bear before it wriggled from his claws and ran away. A different bear roared in the distance, alerting however many had shown up that Tom was slinking around somewhere as well. After that, there was no trace of them in the area surrounding the cabin. It made sense; Tom wasn’t supposed to be at the cabin that morning. They’d likely be ill-equipped to deal with two alphas. If his assumption was correct, he’d count Tom’s unwanted visit as a small victory after all.

  Frustrated and unsatisfied, Nick reconvened with Tom at the edge of the forest.

  “They’re gone,” Tom said, turning to walk away. “I’m going back.”

  “Good idea.” He waited patiently as Tom slunk almost lazily into the trees, sitting on his haunches until the silhouette of his brother blended perfectly with the cover of the woods. He knew they were far from done with whatever Tom’s betrayal had done to their relationship, but for now, it would have to wait. As he neared the front of the cabin once more, he noticed with a heavy heart that his mate—who didn’t even know what a mate was, let alone that she was his—had barricaded herself in the cabin. He hobbled carefully up the steps, sniffing the empty plastic-covered holes where the peep windows once resided. She wasn’t anywhere downstairs. She was probably holed up in the bathroom again, terrified out of her mind. With a sad huff, he couldn’t blame her. He calmed himself, allowing Nick to change back easily enough, though it did little to take away from the pain.

  “Jo,” Nick gasped his chest heaving as he thumped on the door. “Jo, open up. Please.”

  He listened intently, picking up any sound he could use to indicate what she was doing. He heard her walk to the stairs, and the distant rummaging of her belongings. A wave of panic washed over him. Was she packing? Nick banged on the door, harder this time. He could tell she had something big blockading the door on the other side, the door barely rattled on its uneven frame

  “Please, Jo. Please let me in,” he pleaded. He could smell her and hear her as she returned downstairs into the sitting room. “I know this must be really weird for you, Jo, but I… this wasn’t something I’d ever meant for you to see. Please, let me explain.” She didn’t speak, but he heard the groan of the couch fabric as she sat down. He took that as an invitation to continue. He leaned his head sadly against the wood of the door. “Fine,” he said, softly. “I know you can hear me, Jo, so I’m going to explain anyway, even if you never speak to me again. Whether you accept me or not is entirely up to you.”

  “Tom and I,” Nick began, his words reaching her through the door. “Are what’s known as shifters. Bear shifters, obviously. And if you haven’t noticed it yet, I’d like to reintroduce us as the two bears that damaged your car.” He smiled at the memory. “Sorry about that, by the way. We really did mean you no harm. And when you pulled into the shop with your wrecked machine, I felt a guilt the likes of which I’d never known... I still do, if I’m being honest.

  “The bears you saw, the ones that attacked us,” Nick continued, getting back on topic. “They’re shifters too. For the longest while, they’d wanted nothing more than for us to join their pack and add to the power, but we kept refusing. Our pack was fine at two,” he added as an aside. “But Lucas, their pack leader, became increasingly more agitated by our independence, and recently he’s just been about causing pain.”

  Nick shrugged. “None of the Northern Wind Pack are known for their gentle kindness. They’re aggressive and hostile, trained to be bears first and people second to the point of spending hardly any time in their human skin at all. That pack is constantly pulling in every willing and available rogue with questionable morals and a lust for destruction.” He paused. “But even still, I used to think even Lucas had morals. Humans…” His voice trailed off.

  “Humans were always supposed to be safe outside of the perils of the
shifter world. I was naïve, foolish in thinking that no one would dare cause you pain because you weren’t a shifter, but I also hadn’t taken into account the exceptions a megalomaniac like Lucas would consider if it meant finally besting the two alphas that had eluded him for so many years…”

  He scoffed. “So there’s another thing I should apologize for. All of the fear and stress and confusion you must be feeling right now. I never wanted this. I never wanted you to see it. I was perfectly fine with just being around you. Nothing else mattered to me.

  “But my bear… he didn’t agree. He wanted you to see everything about us, to see us and love us for who we truly are. I was convinced it was impossible to love you and be with you without lying—humans and shifters were just destined to live different lives. We’ve been told that from childhood. But then I met you, and I started to second-guess everything I’d ever learned. The more I had to have you by my side, the more the thought of living without you was unbearable to imagine. Shifter or not, my bear chose you.

  “I chose you,” Nick breathed. “And I was hoping that, shifter or not, you’d still choose me, too.”

  There was a stretch of silence before he could smell the salt in the air, making his heart break. She was crying.

  “I’m not saying it’ll be easy,” he continued honestly, “but this wasn’t just some quick fling for me, Jo. There’s something about you that I need, something that my bear needs too. You make me… us happy. Beyond that, nothing else matters. I’ve never felt so strongly about another person the way I do about you, Jo.” He took a deep, shuddering breath. “I.-I’m really starting to fall for you.”

  Chapter Sixteen

  Jo sat petrified on the sitting room sofa, Nick’s words overwhelming her. She clapped her hands over her ears, unwilling to hear another word of his confession. Her mind wasn’t processing anything properly, unsure of what to think or feel. She could only hear her mind screaming for her to run.

  “Just go, Nick,” she shouted, unable to hear even if he responded. “Please, just go.”

  Even past her covered ears, she could hear the defiant thump as he banged his fist against the door in frustration. “I don’t want to go,” she’d barely heard him reply. “I want to see you.”

  She didn’t reply, the silence telling him more than she could with words.

  She reluctantly pulled her hands away from her ears, and finally, Nick sighed. “If you want me to go, then I will,” he said. “But please give us a chance to talk before leaving.”

  Jo waited until his footsteps faded completely before bursting into a fit of fresh tears. None of this made sense. Her body wracked with sobs as she finished packing in a rush. She didn’t care if she left anything behind, she just needed to leave.

  ***

  Nick burst through the shop door in a rage. He knew Tom probably sensed him approaching from a mile away, his anger radiating off of him in waves.

  “This is your fault!” he shouted into the empty office, knowing that wherever his brother was hiding, he’d hear him

  Tom swore quietly, finally peeking his head out of the shop exit. “I’m guessing things didn’t go well with Jo?” he said, face somber.

  “Cut the crap, Tom,” Nick snapped. “You don’t care. You never did. I know you’re secretly proud of yourself for pulling this stunt.”

  Tom raised his hands in a placating gesture. “What’s done is done. Neither of us meant for her to learn the truth today. I know that, and so do you.” He slowly lowered his hands. “But now that this has happened, even you have to admit that we’re all safer the further she is from us, Nick. Now’s the time for self-preserv—”

  Nick was on him in and instant, snatching him up by the collar of his shirt. “Self-preservation my ass. You’ve wanted her gone from the moment you laid eyes on her!”

  “And you didn’t!” Tom shot back, finally getting angry. “Don’t you see how that’s a problem, Nick? She’s human!”

  “She’s my mate!” Nick roared, shoving Tom backward hard enough to knock into a case of tools on the nearby worktable. It crashed to the shop floor, echoing harshly in the bad acoustics of the garage, and though they both flinched at the cacophony grating against their keen hearing, Nick didn’t care. His breathing was ragged, his mind racing and panicked.

  Tom’s expression was pale, his mouth floundering in speechlessness. “You… Nick, she can’t. You even said—”

  “I didn’t know at the time,” Nick spat, shaking his head. “It just seemed so impossible then.”

  “That’s because it is impossible, Nick,” Tom replied. “You’ve made a mistake.”

  Nick closed his eyes, breathing out slowly. If he was going to convince Tom that he was telling the truth, he could let his rage get the better of him. With a surge of warmth, he found that thinking of Jo did the trick nicely.

  He thought of her smile and her wit, her boldness, and how kind she could be when she wanted to. Her confidence when she knew she was right balanced amazingly with her to ability to shoulder more than most people. His bear calmed immediately as images of Jo flooded his mind, and when he opened his eyes again, he was completely at ease.

  He leveled a gaze at Tom, holding up his hands gently to show he meant no harm. “You see this?” he asked. “This is what thoughts of Jo do for my bear. Only a moment ago he was ready to tear your head off, and now he’s completely relaxed.” He lowered his hands. “Do you understand now? It doesn’t matter if you think it’s possible, or if I think it’s possible. The bear has chosen.” He squared his shoulders. “And so have I.”

  Tom ran a weary hand over his face, a look of confusion mottling his features. “This makes no sense, Nick. It’s not natural.”

  “Yes, I know, and I’m trying to work through things in my own way, but the only thing that feels right when I say it out loud is that Jo is my mate. I can’t deny it anymore. And now she’s seen me turn into a bear, and she’s terrified of me.” He ran a frustrated hand through his hair, physically distraught at the thought of losing her. “She barricaded herself in the cabin and wouldn’t even speak to me.”

  Tom took a slow step forward. “Well, can you really blame her, Nick? She’s only ever seen the worse of us,” he said. “If what you’re saying is true, she probably doesn’t even know it yet. The mate pairing concept isn’t one known to humans. I’m sure she just needs more time.”

  “What if there isn’t any more time?” Nick shouted, voice ragged. “She told me to leave and I walked away to the smell of her tears in the back of my throat. How can you possibly think I have more time?”

  A pained look crossed Tom’s face, flinching at Nick’s words. “I’m sorry. I-I didn’t know.”

  “Of course you didn’t,” Nick sighed mournfully. “How could you possibly understand?”

  Nick wanted to believe him, that Jo would think things over in solitude and realize he was worth all the extra baggage, but even the bear within shifted uneasily at the odds. You don’t reinforce doors to keep out someone you love.

  The sound of a car approached in the distance, and something urged Nick to check outside. Fallowing his bear’s instinct, he left out the front door, listening intently as the sound of the car as it grew closer. Suddenly, his heart listed in hope as the sight of Jo’s car drove down the road toward the shop… then rocketing past him towards town limits.

  “No!” Nick shouted, sprinting after her. “Jo! Please!” His bear roared in distress, demanding a change so that he could travel on foot faster. Our mate is leaving! Running as fast as he could, Nick waved frantically, the panic igniting in full force when Jo responded by revving the engine harder and speeding out of reach. There was no hope of catching her, even as his bear. He cried out a painful roar. His heart shattering as he watched his one true love flee for her life in fear of him.

  ***

  Jo drove the full day’s trip to San Francisco in one go, checking into a nice hotel for the remaining two nights until her meeting.

  “Woul
d you like to schedule meals to be delivered directly to your room?” the nice receptionist asked as she processed Jo’s Liberty Art company card.

  “Oh, that sounds lovely,” she agreed, listing her preferred times for breakfast and dinner. She was done with ratty motels. If Brian was going to force her to drive to all her meetings, she was going to lodge in style to make up for it. Thanking the receptionist, she grabbed her keycard and headed up to her room.

  Jo flopped lazily onto the plush bed with an exhausted sigh. She wanted to curl into a ball of sadness and cry, but she’d expended all of her tears and more during the trip. A memory flashed in the forefront of her mind, Nick’s pained expression in her rearview mirror as he screamed and chased after her. Her stomach churned as she remembered pressing the accelerator to leave him behind, and she almost thought she might get sick.

  Now that he’d had time to stew, the pain and panic had long since died away. The second half of the car ride was numbing, where she’d felt almost nothing at all. As she’d entered San Francisco city limits, she remembered joking with him about living in a fancy mansion here, one day, and slowly, her feeling and emotions had started trickling back.

  She wished they wouldn’t.

  Where she had once felt fear, she now felt ridiculous and weak, regret and embarrassment, and worst of all, she felt like she’d made the biggest mistake of her life. Nick provided her with the exciting possibility of something new and spontaneous, and, true to her boring, do-only-enough-to-get-by self, she panicked at the thought of the unknown and ran. Like a coward.

  Something sharp twisted in her stomach, and she doubled over with a groan, allowing the grief to take her. As she lay curled in bed, her cell phone rang.

  Springing up, her heart jumped in her chest. Was it Nick? Had he called?