The Missionary's Purpose

by Kat Brookes

  Mama Tully stood and crossed the dining room to the old hutch she kept her good silverware in. She withdrew a couple of pieces and came back to the table. “I’m not sure if you’d be interested in using these, but they could be your something old.”

  Lila gasped. “These were yours? From your wedding?”

  “Yes,” Mama Tully replied with a wistful smile.

  “They’re beautiful,” Addy said as she admired the set, noting the tiny, stemmed rosebud on the handle of each piece. Would she ever find herself making plans for her own wedding? Jake’s handsome face shoved its way front and center in her mind, making Addy blink. Why did he always have to invade her thoughts? Especially this particular one. Jake didn’t even want her friendship. He’d certainly never marry her.

  “They are,” Lila agreed, running her finger over the slightly raised flower. Then she lifted her gaze to Mama Tully, tears shimmering in her eyes. “I would be honored to use these to cut my wedding cake.”

  “And your anniversary cake,” Addy said, feeling her own throat constricting with emotion. To make matters worse, all this talk of wedding cakes and flowers and looking forward to all the special memories to come made Addy realize how empty her own life was. At least in the romantic sense. It had never been something she’d invested her time into. Her career, and, more importantly, doing whatever it took to remain financially stable, had been her number one priority. She’d gone on a few dinner dates over the years, but none that made her want to pursue a more serious relationship. None that had her dreaming of white picket fences and babies. Maybe she wasn’t cut out for the whole happily-ever-after thing. Not like Lila was.

  An image of Jake, smiling at her as they rode around the orchard in the ATV, pushed forward in her thoughts. And then came the memory of how that day had ended. She’d tried calling Jake, but he’d let both her calls go to voicemail, which he hadn’t returned. No surprise there.

  “Addy?” Lila said. “I was hoping that keeping you busy today with all this,” her friend said, motioning to the projects they had been working on for her and Mason’s big day, “might help to distract you from what happened between you and Jake yesterday.”

  “It did,” Addy said with a nod, moisture suddenly blurring her vision. “A little.”

  “Oh, sweetie,” Mama Tully said with an empathetic smile. Reaching out, she gave Addy’s hand a gentle squeeze. “Storms blow in and storms blow out.”

  “And then the sun will shine again,” Lila assured her with a tender smile.

  Addy wished she had their faith. But storms could also leave a path of destruction behind. In her case, it had been a wide swath of emotional wreckage. “Not in this case,” she replied with a sigh. She looked to Lila, seeing worry where there should have only been happiness written on her face. “I’m sorry my situation is putting such a damper on our afternoon. This is supposed to be a happy time for you.”

  “Addy, I’m going to be marrying the man I love this coming spring. Nothing could ever put a damper on my happiness. It’s yours that I’m worried about. Your life is in turmoil because of me.”

  “You didn’t fire me,” Addy said lightly.

  “I’m talking about your relationship with Jake. I’ve tried talking to him, reminding him that I made you keep your promise not to tell anyone about Finn.”

  Mama Tully nodded in agreement.

  “I appreciate your trying to talk to Jake. And don’t worry about me. I’ll figure it out,” Addy assured them. “I always do.” She glanced down at her watch, checking the time. The Perfect Peach would be closing in a couple of hours. She had hoped that Jake might have a change of heart, that he would finally return her calls, but it was clear that his mind was set. There could be no more putting things off. She had to tell his momma that she wouldn’t be able to help her out with Jake any longer. “Would you mind if I stepped away for a little bit?” Addy asked Lila.

  “Are you okay?”

  “I’ve been better,” she answered honestly. “I’ve been stalling giving Jake’s momma a call, hoping he might... It doesn’t matter what I had hoped. His mind is clearly made up, and I need to tell Mrs. Landers that I won’t be coming by tomorrow to spend time with her son. Or any time after that, either. But it’s something I think I need to do in person instead. I thought that if I went over now I might be able to catch her at The Perfect Peach before it closes.”

  Lila nodded.

  Addy glanced around. “I hate to leave in the middle of everything.”

  “We don’t mind, sweetie,” Mama Tully said.

  “I’m sure we’ll still be knee-deep in wedding planning when you get back,” Lila agreed.

  “Thank you.” Addy stood from the table.

  “Send Constance my regards,” Mama Tully said with a warm smile as Addy crossed the room.

  “I will,” she replied and, with a wave of farewell, left the room.

  * * *

  After walking over to the Landerses’ place, hoping the fresh air and sunshine might do her some good, Addy felt her emotions still being pulled in every direction. She stepped from the orchard path and then turned to head toward the market, but then stopped. Something on the front porch of the old house drew her attention that way. There, seated in his wheelchair near the porch’s edge, was Jake, watching her. Her heart gave a wild flutter at the sight of him, something that had been happening with more frequency, despite knowing his reaction would be far different than hers.

  Their gazes met and locked, and Addy stood for several drawn-out seconds, wondering what to do. Did she walk over and say hello now that he had seen her there? Or should she simply wave and be on her way, giving him what he wanted? Her out of his life.

  The choice was made for her when Mason stepped outside, oblivious to her presence, and said something to Jake. His brother pulled his gaze from hers and nodded in response to whatever Mason had said. Then he was gone, Mason pushing him into the house and beyond her sight.

  Addy remained where she was, wishing she were inside with Jake, sharing laughter as they had during their oh-so-brief truce. “Oh, Jake,” she moaned softly. There’d been something in that brief moment of connection they’d shared moments before that fanned those dying embers of hope in her heart.

  Realizing how foolish she must look standing there gazing yearningly at Jake’s house, Addy turned away. She didn’t want people thinking she was pining away for Jake Landers, a man who now only tolerated her presence. As she crossed the yard to the peach market, she found herself wondering if those assumptions might be more right than she cared to admit. The store lights were still on. She could see them through the oversize windows. That meant either Mrs. Landers or Violet was still inside. Possibly both. Addy stepped up onto the low porch and reached for the door.

  A short melody played overhead as she stepped inside, signaling someone’s arrival. In this case, Addy’s.

  “I’ll be with you in just a moment,” a warm, welcoming voice called out from the back of the market.

  Mrs. Landers. Addy moved in that direction, working her way between shelves of peach butter and packaged soups. “No rush,” she hollered back. “It’s just Addy.”

  A second later, Jake’s momma poked her head around a display of candles a short distance away. “Well, hello,” she greeted. “Come on around. I was just picking up glass. I broke a candle.”

  Addy hurried around the display stand to help.

  “Well, this is an unexpected surprise,” Mrs. Landers said as she grabbed for a nearby broom and dustpan.

  Addy carried the pieces she’d collected over to a garbage can and then walked back over to join Mrs. Landers. “I probably should have called first.”

  “Nonsense. Stop by anytime. You just missed Violet,” she told Addy. “She had a couple of floral arrangements she had to deliver to the funeral home for Mrs. Benson.” Attaching the empty dustpan to the handle of
the broom, she placed it up against the can and the wall and then turned back around to face Addy.

  Addy said regretfully, “I’m afraid my being here isn’t as nice a visit as you think.”

  Mrs. Landers stopped what she was doing to look up at Addy. “Does this have something to do with my son?”

  She nodded. “Jake asked me not to come back again.”

  “Oh no,” the other woman said with a worried frown. “I thought things were going well between the two of you. Jake’s been so much more like his old self. Except,” she said contemplatively, “now that I think about it, he was a bit off today. I put it up to his being worn out from your big outing yesterday. I understand you two went for a ride in the ATV.”

  “We did. But we came across Finn when we were out,” she explained. “Jake promised he’d be seeing more of Finn now that he was healing up and getting out of the house. I playfully told Jake he was stuck with me, because Finn was going to be counting on me to get Jake over to see him and I have never let that little boy down. It was a reminder to your son that I had let Finn down by keeping his family from him. He told me it was something he just couldn’t get past.”

  “Nonsense,” Mrs. Landers said. “I’ll talk to my son.”

  “Please don’t,” Addy pleaded. “I don’t want him to feel like I’m making his family side against him. All I can do now is respect Jake’s wishes and stay out of his life. I’m so sorry to let you down. I know you were counting on my helping out with Jake.”

  “No, I’m the one who’s sorry, honey,” she said with a deepening frown. “I knew how close the two of you were and thought that maybe if... Well, let’s just say I was a meddling momma who, no matter how unintentional, caused you undue hurt.”

  “And I’m so grateful you gave me the chance to mend things with Jake. Even if it didn’t work out the way I’d hoped it would.”

  “You’ve persevered through the hardest of times,” Mrs. Landers told her. “You’ll get through this, too. Just stay strong, honey. In the meantime, I’ll send a prayer Heavenward asking the Lord to help Jake find it in his heart to finally forgive you.”

  “I appreciate that. It’s so hard.”

  “Sweetie, you and Lila were both young girls forced to make adult decisions neither of you were fully prepared for at the time. There is no changing the past. But you do have the ability to change the direction of your future. Some days that might take a little extra patience. And others a good bit of prayer.”

  Addy’s vision blurred with tears. “I should have pushed Lila harder to tell Mason about Finn. But I didn’t want her to take off and try to make a go of things on her own, like my momma did. At least Momma and I had a car to live in. Lila left Sweet Springs with next to nothing.”

  Empathy shaped Mrs. Landers’s features. “I had no idea you and your momma went through that.”

  “Very few people know about the life we lived,” Addy admitted, preferring to keep it that way. She’d said more than she’d meant to, but it was important to her that Jake’s momma understood more clearly why everything had happened the way it had.

  “I can’t even begin to imagine what that must have been like for you.” Mrs. Landers shook her head.

  “I had always thought of myself as strong. Unbreakable. But I finally realized I needed help to deal with my past, and Momma saw that I got it.”

  “Sweetie, everyone has their breaking point,” Mrs. Landers said softly. “I reached mine about six months after Calvin died. I’d spent the first few months after losing him in a state of numbness. Then when feeling finally began to return, it washed over me in the form of fear, along with a good bit of anger at the Lord for taking my husband from me, from our family.”

  “How did you get past your anger with God? Momma still blames Him for the kind of life we lived during those early years.”

  Jake’s momma stepped over to the candle display. “While I wanted to direct my anger at the Lord, deep down I knew that I should have been thanking Him for giving me so many wonderful years with Calvin. For giving him and me a family to carry on the love we shared.” She turned away, busying herself with straightening several peach-scented candles. “I spent hours baring my soul to the good Lord, and to Reverend Hutchins, who had taken over at the church after Calvin’s passing. It helped to talk to someone outside my family. It kept the conversation as I worked through things less emotionally driven. And it kept my grief from burdening my children. They were suffering enough as it was. So who am I to judge anyone for keeping secrets?”

  “That’s why you forgave me so easily,” Addy said in understanding. If only she still had her faith to cling to. Then maybe getting through this heartache with Jake wouldn’t be quite as hard. Nor would dealing with her past at those times when the memories reared their ugly heads.

  “It was a part of it,” Mrs. Landers admitted. “But the biggest reason I chose to forgive you was because of my faith.”

  Addy sighed, a deep sadness pulling at her. “I wish my momma had the same deep connection to her faith that you and your family have.”

  “It’s a personal choice everyone has to make on their own,” Mrs. Landers replied with a kind smile. “True faith can’t be forced. Even Jake, who has always been so close to God, has taken a step back since coming home. But I have faith he’ll find his way back and start attending church with us again soon.”

  She had no idea Jake had pulled away from his church. He’d always been so committed to it.

  The market door opened, the melody playing overhead signaling the arrival of a customer, bringing an end to their conversation.

  “Welcome to The Perfect Peach,” Jake’s momma called out as she and Addy made their way to the front of the store. “Are you looking for anything special?”

  “A cookie,” came a giggled reply.

  “Finn?” Addy said as they rounded a six-foot-tall shelving unit that held homemade peach pies, already boxed and ready to go out the door.

  “Hi, Aunt Addy! Hi, Gramma Landers!”

  Addy looked past him to the closed door, watching for Lila. When the door remained closed, she asked, “Where’s your momma?”

  “She went to the house to find Daddy and say hello to Uncle Jake,” Finn explained. “We’re going over to the new house today to work. I get to help.”

  “Of course you do,” Addy said. “Your daddy’s a smart man. He knows where to find good help.”

  “Wanna come see Uncle Jake with me?” Finn asked, his question directed at Addy.

  “Oh, I...uh...” She struggled to find an excuse that wouldn’t have Finn asking questions, wishing she didn’t have to. Wishing Jake welcomed time spent with her as much as she did him.

  “I believe your aunt Addy was just on her way home to do some baking,” Mrs. Landers spoke up, no doubt understanding Addy’s dilemma.

  “Chocolate peanut butter banana nut bread,” Addy suddenly announced.

  Finn’s eyes widened. “I love peanut butter!”

  “And chocolate,” Mrs. Landers chimed in.

  “And bananas,” Addy added, laughing softly. “I’ll be sure to have you sample it for me after dinner tonight. You can let me know if it’s good enough to go in my cookbook or not.”

  Finn’s head bobbed up and down. “I’ll do it.” If only Jake had the same amount of enthusiasm when it came to her cooking for him. When it came to her in any regard. She prayed that would change before she had to go back to Atlanta.

  * * *

  “I didn’t mean to put an end to your solitude on the porch,” Mason said apologetically, his gaze fixed on Jake. “I know you wanted some time out there alone.”

  “I changed my mind,” Jake replied, accepting the glass Lila was handing him with an appreciative nod. The moment he’d seen Addy emerge from the orchard’s tree line, his heart had thudded against his chest. Life suddenly surging through that a
chingly numb organ. Something it seemed to only do around her. Under different circumstances, he and Addy might have someday found themselves planning a life together, just as his brother was doing with Lila. All he’d had to do was convince her that her being older made no difference when it came to matters of the heart. That a long-distance relationship could work if both of the people involved wanted it to. That being Mason’s younger brother didn’t mean the boy she’d known hadn’t grown up into a man who wanted a family of his own.

  Although she’d been a fair distance away when he’d caught sight of her, he’d have known Addy anywhere. Not just by her height. Addy had always been on the tall side, probably somewhere near five feet nine inches if he had to venture a guess. It was more the strength in the way she carried herself that made her stand out in a crowd. Chin high, shoulders back, as if she were always on a mission to get something done. Then there was that beautiful, dark, shiny hair of hers. He’d liked it long, but the more modern, sophisticated cut suited her, too. It drew one’s attention to those thickly lashed silvery-blue eyes.

  “And a giant dinosaur chased me through the orchard the other day.”

  Blinking, Jake looked to Lila. “Excuse me?”

  She giggled. “Actually, it was a squirrel. And I suppose I was the one doing the following, since it scampered right past me, heading down the path before finally cutting off and disappearing into the trees.”

  Jake blinked again, trying to recall how dinosaurs and squirrels had come into their conversation.

  Mason chuckled. “Since you have the look of complete bewilderment on your face, I’ll fill you in. Lila was telling you about the porch swing we found for our new house and how she can’t wait to spend time on it, soaking up the quiet, comfortable solitude as you’d been outside doing.” He glanced Lila’s way. “Keep in mind the swing’s a two-seater for a reason.”

  She smiled up at him. “I’m more than willing to share my solitude with you.”