Coalescent

by Stephen Baxter

  That was why I'd always liked talking to Vivian. I didn't know anybody else who would make such observations.

  She was a solid-framed woman who wore business suits that were crumpled enough to show she didn't take herself too seriously. She looked healthy; I knew she used a gym, and as a mother of two small daughters her home life must be active enough. Her hair was close-cropped over a broad face, with a small flattish nose and pale brown eyes. She had no cheeks, no chin, and would never have been called beautiful save by a lover, but in the frankness and humor of her gaze I had always known I was in the presence of a solid, grounded personality. To put it another way she was one of the few human beings to have slipped through Hyf's recruitment filter.

  I said, "My father never had a cell phone. Didn't need one, he said, even though I tried to give him one for emergencies. You know, in case he fell... Didn't have a computer, either. Enjoyed his DVD, though."

  "He wasn't a Luddite like you, then," she said.

  "No. He was just selective."

  She sloshed her wine around her glass. "My parents died a few years back. Ten years ago, actually."

  "How?"

  "Car accident. It was a mess to sort out, as they'd gone together. Their wills were out of date... Well. I think I know how your sister feels. I wanted to just run from the whole thing. But oddly, it wasn't such a bad time in the end. People come together, you know."

  I tapped my thumbnail against the bottle's foil label. "You're not counseling me, are you, Viv?"

  "No. Just telling you how I felt."

  "But it was different. You were younger. I feel — shit, I suddenly feel old. It's as if now he's gone, the lid is off my generation, antiquity-wise. Do you know what I mean?"

  She laughed. "So what do you want to do?"

  I snorted. "What can I do? I'm trapped."

  "By what?"

  "By my routine. The choices I've made, good or bad, that have landed me here. By the way I've slowed down." I slapped my belly. "By this. The way I get out of breath, and ache in the mornings. Even the way I get pissed on a couple of bottles of beer at lunchtime. I'm trapped by myself."

  "There are always choices, George." She put her glass down on the table and leaned toward me, rumpled, kindly, earnest. "I wasn't counseling you before, but I am now. I think you need to reconnect. I went back to face what had happened to Mum and Dad."

  "I did go back."

  "Well, I think you need more. Take some time off. I bet you're owed some vacation. And you wouldn't be missed for a while," she said dryly. "Maybe you ought to talk to — uh—"

  "Linda?" My ex-wife. We'd divorced before I'd come to work for Hyf; Vivian had never met her. "Don't think so."

  "She's going to know you better than anybody else. Or go see your sister in Texas."

  "Florida."

  "Wherever. Spoil your nephews a little." She snapped her fingers. "Why don't you follow up this business of your missing sister?" I'd told her about that. "A little mystery to solve to occupy that analytical brain of yours — and nice deep family connections to soothe your heart..."

  I felt uncomfortable. "There's probably nothing. Maybe she was adopted."

  "Why would that have happened?"

  "Or maybe she died," I said brutally. "And they wanted to spare me."

  "Well, even if so," she said gently, "you surely want to know."

  "I wouldn't know where to start."

  "Ask your sister in Florida," she said. "She's, what, ten years older? She ought to know something. And if this kid was three or four in the photo, maybe she'll have been to school somewhere. A prep school maybe."

  "But which one?"

  "I'd start with the one your older sister went to. Du-uh." She rattled her fingernails on the table. "Come on, George, snap out of it; get that brain working again."

  "But it's all a mess, Viv. Christ, families. They all lied to me throughout my life. Even Gina!"

  "Unresolved issues," she said. "So resolve them. Reconnect with the past." There was an edge to her voice now. You've had as much sympathy from the world as you're going to get, George; stop whining.

  "You know, that's pretty much what Peter said. That I should 'reclaim the past.' "

  She frowned. "Who's Peter?"

  At that moment I found myself looking at the TV carrying the news channel. The pretty newsreader had gone, but the image of the Kuiper Anomaly remained. And there, beside it, was a chunky, high-browed face, talking rapidly. It was Peter McLachlan.

  I pointed. "Him," I said.

  Chapter 5

  Regina, her hand firmly clasped by Cartumandua, was allowed to attend the anointing of her father's body.

  Jovian touched the dead man's eyes, formally closing them. Jovian was her uncle, her father's brother, from Durnovaria. He was a big, doleful man, a bronze worker, with big hands scarred by splashes of liquid metal, and he wore a Phrygian cap, just as her father had done. As the body was washed and anointed, Jovian stood over it, singing a soft Latin lament. The air was filled with powerful scents, like very strong perfume. But Regina knew that somebody had already cleaned up her father's body, for there was not a trace of all the blood she had seen before.

  When the cleansing was done, Marcus was dressed in his toga. It took several men to lift him as the woolen sheet was draped over him, for his body was stiff, his limbs like bits of wood.

  After that the funerary procession formed up. Eight men carried Marcus on a kind of litter. Musicians went before him. They played double pipes and a cornu, a kind of curved trumpet with a sweet, sad voice. Everybody else, including Regina, had to follow on behind. Lit up by candles and lanterns, the procession filed out of the grounds of the villa and over a hardened track through the fields.

  As they walked, Regina glimpsed her mother for the first time that day. With her hair coiffed and her dress immaculate, Julia looked as elegant as ever, but she kept her face hidden behind scented cloth. Regina wanted to run to her, but Carta kept a firm hold of her hand.

  They came to the mausoleum. This was a little stone building, like a temple. There were only three tombstones here, marking the deaths of Regina's grandfather and grandmother, her father's parents — and one small, poignant plate that marked the infant death of a little girl, born to Marcus and Julia some years before Regina's own birth, taken by a coughing sickness in her first month. She had been the "sweetest child," according to her stone. Regina wondered if any toys had been put in the ground for her to play with in the afterlife.

  A coffin had already been placed in the ground, ready for Marcus. It was a lead box, its walls elaborately molded with scallops, an oceanic motif to symbolize the crossing to the afterlife.

  Carta murmured soothing nonsense words. But Regina didn't feel distressed. This little scene, the lanterns and musicians and mourners gathered around a hole in the ground, was too strange to be upsetting. And besides, the awkward thing on the litter didn't seem to have any connection to her father.

  Jovian placed a coin, a whole solidus, in his brother's mouth, payment for the ferryman. Then the body was lowered, a little clumsily, into the coffin. Marcus was wearing his best shoes, Regina noticed. Well, you couldn't go into the afterlife without shoes. Under Aetius's orders, Marcus was placed facedown.

  One by one the mourners came up and dropped tokens into the coffin. There were remembrances of Marcus's life, like farming tools, and even a handful of tesserae from an unfinished mosaic; and there were objects to ease the passage to the afterlife, a vial of wine, a haunch of pork, some candles, a little bell to ward off evil.

  Regina got a little upset now, for she had brought nothing to give her father. "Nobody told me!" she hissed to Carta, only to be admonished for making a noise.

  She pulled away from Carta and looked around the mausoleum. In grassy corners she found some mayweed, poppy, and knapweed. The petals were closed and heavy with dew, for it was night. Still, she picked the wildflowers and dropped them into the grave. Perhaps they would open in the afterlife,
where it was surely light all the time.

  A load of chalk, pale in the starlight, was dumped into the coffin, to preserve the body. Finally the coffin lid was lowered and the heaps of earth beside the open grave briskly returned. The soil smelled damp and rich. A simple tombstone was placed over the fresh earth — smaller than her grandfather's, for, as she had been told, such things were very expensive nowadays. She bent to read its inscription, but the writing was fine and in Latin, and it was too dark.

  At the end of the burial, the mourners departed for the funerary banquet back at the villa. Regina looked for her mother. She couldn't see her.

  But Aetius was here. He got to his haunches and faced Regina. He had something in his hand that he hid from her; she wondered if it was a toy, a present. But his broad face was dark.

  "Little one, you have to understand what has happened here. Do you know why your father died?"

  "I saw the blood."

  "Yes. You saw the blood. Regina, Marcus followed a goddess called Cybele."

  "Cybele and Atys. Yes."

  "It's a strange business. On Cybele's birthday you drench yourself in the blood of sacrificed bulls, and dance yourself into a frenzy." His hard soldier's face told her what he thought of such foolishness. "But the most significant thing the priests of Cybele do is castration." He had to explain what that meant. "They do it to themselves. They have special forceps that stanch the blood flow. It is an act of remembrance of Atys, who castrated himself as punishment for a moment of unfaithfulness."

  She tried to work all this out. "My father—"

  "He castrated himself. Just like Atys. But he didn't have any priests' forceps," Aetius said grimly.

  "Why did he do that? Was he unfaithful?"

  "Yes, he was." Aetius kept his eyes on Regina's face.

  Regina was aware of the stiffness of Cartumandua beside her, and she knew there was much she did not yet understand.

  "But he didn't mean to kill himself."

  Aetius cupped Regina's face. "No. He wouldn't have left you behind, little one. And anyhow he probably thought that even if he did die he would be resurrected, just like Atys... Well. Your father even now is finding out the truth of that. And I suspect he may not be sorry to be gone. At least he won't have to face recalcitrant farmers anymore. It was all getting a little difficult for him..."

  "Grandfather?"

  It was as if he had forgotten she was there. "Whether he meant it or not, he is gone. And you, little Regina, are the most important person in the family."

  "I am?"

  "Yes. Because you are the future. Here — you must take these." Now he opened his hand, and, to Regina's shock and surprise, he showed her the matres, the three little goddesses from the lararium, the family shrine. They were figures of women in heavy hooded cloaks, crudely carved, little bigger than Aetius's thumb. Aetius shook his head. "I remember when my own father brought these back — they are just trinkets, really, produced in their thousands by the artisans along the Rhine — but they became precious to us. The family is the center of everything for all good Romans, you know. And now you must take care of our gods, our family. Give me your hand now."

  As she opened her palm to take the goddesses, Regina couldn't keep from flinching. She thought the matres might burn her flesh, or freeze it, or crumble her bones. But they were just like lumps of rock, like pebbles, warm from Aetius's grasp. She closed her fingers over them. "I'll keep them safe for my mother."

  "Yes," Aetius said. He stood up. "Now you must go with Carta and pack up your things. Your clothes — everything you want to take. We're going on a journey, you and I."

  "Is Mother coming?"

  "It will be exciting," he said. "Fun." He forced a smile, but his face was hard.

  "Should I take my toys?"

  He rested his hand on her head. "Some. Yes. Of course."

  "Grandfather—"

  "Yes?"

  "Why did you make those men put my father facedown in the coffin?"

  But he wouldn't reply, saying only, "Be ready first thing tomorrow — both of you."

  Excited, clutching the goddesses, Regina tugged at Carta's hand, and they began to make their way back to the villa.

  It was only much later that Regina learned that laying a corpse facedown in a coffin was a way of ensuring that the dead would not return to the world of the living.

  • • •

  The next day, not long after dawn, Aetius sacrificed a small chicken. Seeking omens for the journey, he inspected its entrails briskly, muttered a prayer, then buried the carcass in the ground. He cleaned his hands of blood by rubbing them in the dirt.

  A sturdy-looking cart drew up in the villa's courtyard.

  Of course Regina was only half packed, even with Carta's help. When Aetius saw the number of boxes and trunks that lay open around her room, he growled and began to pull out clothes and toys. "Only take what you need, child! You are so spoiled — you would never make a soldier."

  She ran around picking up precious garments and games and bits of cheap jewelry. "I don't want to be a soldier! And I need this and this—"

  Aetius sighed and rolled his eyes. But he argued until he had reduced her to just four big wooden trunks, and, in the final heated stages, allowed her a few more luxuries. A beefy male slave called Macco hauled the boxes out to the cart.

  Carta helped her dress in her best outdoor outfit. It was a smart woolen tunic, woven in one piece with long sleeves and a slit for her neck. She wore it over a fine wool undertunic, with a belt tied around her waist.

  Aetius stood before her stiffly, clenching and unclenching a fist. Then he knelt to adjust her belt. "Beautiful, beautiful," he said gruffly. "You look like a princess."

  "Look at the colors," Regina said, pointing. "The yellow is nettle dye, the orange is onion skins, and the red is madder. It's all fixed with salt so it will never fade."

  "Not ever? Not in a thousand years?"

  "Never."

  He grunted. He straightened and glanced up. "Cartumandua! Are you ready?"

  Carta was wearing a tunic of her own, of plain bleached wool, and she carried a small valise.

  Regina asked, "Is Carta coming, too?"

  "Yes, Carta is coming."

  "And Mother — shall I go and find her?"

  But Aetius grabbed her arm. "Your mother isn't coming with us today."

  "She'll come later."

  "Yes, she'll come later." He clapped his hands. "And the sun is already halfway across the sky and I hoped to be a speck on the horizon by now. Hurry, now, before the day fades altogether..."

  Regina ran outside and clambered onto the carriage. It was a simple open frame, but it had big wooden wheels with iron rims and complicated hubs. She was going to ride in front, with Aetius, so she could see everywhere she went. Cartumandua would be in the back, with Macco, the burly slave, and the lashed-down boxes.

  Regina noticed Macco strapping a knife to his waist, under his tunic. She snapped, "Put that down, Macco, right now. Nobody is allowed to carry weapons except the soldiers. The Emperor says so."

  Macco had a heavy shaven head, and broad shoulders his loose tunic couldn't conceal. He was a silent, gloomy man — Julia had always called him "dull" and ignored him — and now he glanced up at Aetius.

  "What's this? Wearing weapons? Quite right, Regina. But I am a commander in the army, and if I say it's all right for Macco to have a knife, the Emperor isn't going to mind."

  Regina pulled a face. "But he's a slave."

  "He's a slave who would lay down his life for yours, which is why I've chosen him to come with us. Now hush your prattling."

  She flinched, but subsided.

  So it was in a stiff silence that the little party finally set off. Aetius sat beside Regina, a mighty pillar of muscle, his face as rigid as an actor's mask. Regina looked back once, hoping to see her mother, but nobody came to wave them off.

  That minor disappointment soon faded, as did her sulk over being ticked off in front
of Macco, because the ride, at the beginning at least, was fun. It was another fine day. The sky was cloudless, a pale blue dome, and the horses trotted comfortably along, snorting and ducking their heads, the musky stink of their sweat wafting back to Regina.

  Soon they reached the broad main road, heading east. The road cut as straight as an arrow across the green countryside. It was built by and for walking soldiers, and was uneven, and the ride was bumpy. But Regina didn't care; she was too excited. She bounced in her seat, until Aetius, horse switch in hand, told her to stop.

  Aetius tried to explain that they would travel east, all the way to Londinium, and then cut north.

  "When will we see Londinium?"

  "Not for a few days. It's a long way."

  Her eyes widened. "Will we ride through the night? Will we sleep in the cart?"

  "Don't be silly. There are places to stay on the way."

  "But where—"

  "Never mind your prattle."

  They encountered little traffic. There were a very few carriages, pulled by horses, donkeys, or bullocks, a few horse riders — but most of the traffic was people on foot. Many pedestrians carried heavy loads, bundled in boxes or cloth, on their heads or shoulders. Aetius pointed to one rider in a bright green uniform whose horse trotted at a bright clip, quickly overtaking the carriage. Aetius said he was from the Imperial Post, the cursus publicus. Along the roadside there were many small stations with stables and water troughs, places where a post rider could change his horse.

  Sometimes the people walking along the road would peer at the carriage with an intensity that frightened Regina. At such times Macco was always alert, gazing back with his blank, hard face, the hilt of a weapon showing at his waist. Regina would stare into the faces of the people, hoping to glimpse her mother.

  They passed one girl who couldn't have been much older than Regina herself. Walking with a group of adults, she was bowed down under a great bundle strapped to her back. She had heavy-looking black leather boots on her feet; they dwarfed her thin, dirty legs.