Little Beginnings

by Iris Blobel

  “Isn’t that reason enough?”

  “Yes, it is, but I believe he needs to be part of that decision. It’s not something you can simply dump on him.”

  Jeri saw the sense in it, but it wasn’t something she felt comfortable about. The whole situation made her uncomfortable and every night she’d looked at herself in the mirror, she cursed herself for being in that position.

  “It hurts so much when you get rejected because Mother Nature screwed with you.” She wiped a tear from her face. “I’m not going through this again.”

  “Do you think Ely would drop you like that?”

  Choking back a chuckle, Jeri’s reply came with a tone of voice she instantly regretted. “Chris didn’t drop me like that. It was me. Well…it was the situation, but seeing him now so happy with all his children, it’s obvious it was the right decision.” She sighed, searched for a tissue in her handbag before turning back to her cousin. “I’m sorry Georgia. I know you mean well, but it’s…it’s been a sore point in my life.”

  Georgia placed her arm around Jeri’s shoulder. “But this time, you won’t be alone.”

  Jeri blew her nose, looked around, and took in the scenery. People hiking along the paths, children swimming in the pool, tourists in the chairlift overhead, and the patrons in the café behind her. She loved the atmosphere.

  “You know,” she finally said, “I never thought I’d fall in love again.”

  Georgia looked around. “You’re in love?”

  She shrugged. “Snuck up on me. Like in the movies. Always thought it’d be nonsense, but apparently—”

  Jeri didn’t finish the sentence. By the smile on her cousin’s face, she had an idea she understood.

  “You know this is even more so a reason to talk to him about it.”

  “You’re not letting this go, are you?”

  “No. I can’t explain why, especially as I hardly know Chris, but my gut feeling tells me to give it another try. You two were young. There was the pressure of society to have children. I’m sure you’d be able to deal with it from a completely different perspective nowadays.”

  Jeri sighed and nodded, possibly more out of giving up than agreeing. The immature thought of, If I say yes, she will stop, popped into her mind to get out of the conversation.

  “How about we head back to the hotel room and get ready for the dinner?”

  Georgia nodded. “But I will not give up on this topic.”

  The women packed up and made their way back to the hotel where they got ready for dinner out, followed by the musical.

  The musical was stunning, and both Jeri and Georgia even had some tears towards the end. To top it off, they also enjoyed a delicious dinner. Jeri was grateful to Georgia for taking her to see it.

  Later that night, when she was all tucked into bed, she was tempted to give Ely a call, but in the end she’d decided not to, because sleep was knocking at her door.

  * * *

  Ely hadn’t heard from Jeri since her departure to Launceston the previous week. Aware that this was more a casual friendship than a relationship, he still wondered about her silence. Even though they didn’t see each other each week, they at least talked on the phone every couple of days.

  It was Friday night, he’d skipped his football training and bought some fish and chips instead on his way to Jeri’s. Grabbing the food, he took a long breath, and walked towards the door.

  It took Jeri a bit to answer the door, apparently busy in the back of the house with paying invoices.

  “What a nice surprise,” she said as she opened the door. “C’mon in.”

  “I’m glad to see you’re still alive,” he said and stepped closer. He placed a kiss on her cheek and asked, “What you’ve been up to?”

  “Why shouldn’t I be alive?”

  “Haven’t heard from you all week.”

  Jeri went into the kitchen to retrieve plates and tomato sauce, while Ely walked into the lounge room to place the dinner on the table. Unwrapping the fish and chips, he asked, “How was Launceston?”

  “Lovely,” she replied as she joined him in the lounge room. “Just the break I needed.”

  He met her gaze. “You needed a break?”

  She sat and helped herself to some chips and a piece of fish when she was about to do the same for him.

  “Nah, I’ll have mine straight off the Chinese porcelain,” he said as he pointed to the paper it was wrapped in.

  “You’re such a man.”

  He laughed. “I most certainly hope so.”

  They ate in silence for a while before he asked, “Sweetheart, what’s bothering you?”

  Her brows shot up when she looked at him. “What do you mean?”

  Crossing his arms, he leaned back. “I’ve known you now for a bit less than half a year. you’re great company.” With a wink he added, “A great kisser, testy when you’re stressed, and you hide when something big is occupying your mind.”

  She gave a little soft laugh. “Hiding?”

  “All week.”

  “I wasn’t hiding, just busy.”

  “You’re not testy.”

  She pushed her plate away and was about to stand up when he grabbed her wrist.

  “I’m not having sex with you.”

  “I’m not asking you to have sex with me. I’m asking you what’s bothering you.”

  When he saw a tear escaping her eye, he knew this was going to be big. He took another chip for the sake of keeping his hand busy. Focusing, he tried hard to calm himself.

  “Honey, we knew this was coming, didn’t we?”

  Ely stayed quiet, because he didn’t know.

  “I love spending time with you,” she whispered. “But we have to stop seeing each other.”

  He sighed. “Would you care to tell me why?”

  Jeri wiped her face with the back of her hand, and he was glad to see that she was so comfortable around him that she didn’t care about the messed up make-up.

  “I’m truly sorry for having been so selfish. I told you from the very beginning that you shouldn’t waste your time on me.”

  “Please don’t tell me it’s about the children again.”

  Nodding, she stood and grabbed a box of tissues from the shelf behind her. Not returning to the table, she explained, “The reason why my marriage failed was my inability to have children.” She let out a small sigh. “I told you, you deserve a woman who can give you all the children you want. I’ve seen you with your little nephew. You love him.”

  “I deserve a woman I love; a woman I want to be with.”

  He got up and with only a few steps stood right in front of her. Not touching her, he studied her face, tried to understand the pain she felt in order to build that wall she had. “I’m talking love when it comes to the woman I deserve.” He reached for her hand and was surprised she let him. Caressing her knuckles with his thumb, he said, “I think we both know that this between us has moved well and truly past a friendship.”

  Jeri pulled away her hand and stepped over to the window. Hardly audible, she replied, “I can’t. I’m truly sorry, Ely, but I can’t.”

  He turned and followed her gaze outside. It had started to rain and the raindrops hit the window only to slide down in gloomy patterns on the windowpane. In the silence of the room, it sounded like a massive hail storm compared to a small shower.

  “You need to give us a try, Jeri,” he whispered.

  Shaking her head, she said, “It wouldn’t work. You like me now, what about in five years, when—”

  Closing the space between them, he said, “Marriage is about two people loving each other. Having a child is an added bonus, but not the knot that keeps the couple together.” He wiped a tear from her cheek with his thumb. “I know you’ve been hurt and I know whatever I say to you now are just words, but please believe me, I wouldn’t leave you—”

  “It wasn’t Chris’ fault,” she interrupted. “I placed too much attention on Mother Nature’s cruel trick on me. Ever
y time we tried and failed, we drifted further apart. Now he has children with his wife and he’s happy, so I don’t feel guilty about leaving.”

  “This was what? Ten years ago?”

  “Ely,” she almost screamed. “I cannot have children. Ten years. Twenty years. What’s the difference?”

  He didn’t respond, but took her hand and pulled her into a hug. They stood there for a while, as he started to comprehend the highs and lows, the rollercoaster of emotions she must’ve gone through while trying to have a baby. A pain, more hurt than anything he’d ever imagined. Deep inside, he tried to answer the question. Could I live with Jeri for the rest of my life without having children? He envisaged them both together and even though no one could predict the future, or the love of a couple for each other, knowing the joy his nephew brought his sister, and himself as an uncle, he was certain, that a life with Jeri was enough for him. Watching the rain, he thought back to Tina and his marriage proposal. He’d thought she was the one, but had been so wrong. What made him think Jeri was the right one?

  The difference was in the details. The way she made him laugh, she was honest, she kissed like a goddess, she was determined and a fighter, and when he had her in his arms, it was like he was truly at home.

  He’d never experienced that kind of feeling with Tina. He hadn’t known anything like this existed and would’ve laughed at anybody who told him so.

  “Research has done big things over the years. It would be worth it to check it out again.”

  “I can’t go through this again.”

  “This time you would go through this with me. I’m behind you all the way. There won’t be a single meter you have to walk alone.”

  “And in the end, we’ll grow apart because it won’t happen.”

  “Where’s your positive thinking, sweetheart? You’re such a fighter—”

  “Ely.” She leaned back and met his gaze. “Why do you insist so much on this?”

  The question surprised him, and he fell silent for a moment.

  “You know the answer to that,” he said after a while.

  “You don’t know me, though,” she whispered.

  “Oh baby, I do. I do know you.” Ely placed his finger under her chin and lifted her head up to meet her gaze. “I’m not good at this stuff. I’m no romantic, but there’s that feeling inside me… Good grief, I tell you it’s what women probably would quite possibly call butterflies.” He shook his head as he let out a long sigh. “Every time I touch you. Every time I see you. This doesn’t come out of the blue. I’ve thought about it. For Pete’s sake, of course I have.” Cupping her face, he stroked her lower lip with his thumb before he brushed his lips softly against hers. Briefly, but it was all his body needed to be on full alert. “I learnt from my mistake when I proposed to a girl years ago.”

  She leaned back. “You’ve proposed before?”

  He shrugged. “I did. I thought it was the thing to do. We were in a routine, I thought that was love.” With a chuckle he added. “Now I’m grateful she said no.”

  “Why? She didn’t love you?”

  “As I said, I don’t think we knew love. We were stuck in a rut. Her words were, 'Why change what works perfectly well?'" He shook his head. “It was time to get out.” And with a big sigh he added, “Quite a hit to the good old ego, I tell you.”

  She laughed. “You poor boy.”

  Ely brushed her lips with his again. “If you give us a try, I won’t leave because you cannot have children. I want to grow old with you. With or without little juniors. You’re the one.”

  “And you know that from the few times we’ve met? It’s insane.”

  He shook his head. “Why? I want to be with you because from the moment I saw you in that kitchen crying because of the no-show—”

  “You felt pity?”

  “You don’t like pity.” He grinned. “No, it wasn’t pity. It was something in the pit of my stomach that told me you’re someone very special. Someone worth fighting for.” Reaching for her hands, he raised them to his mouth and softly kissed each fingertip. “I’ll even master a magic wand to make your life a happy and fulfilled one.”

  She snorted, but then grew serious. “Are you proposing?”

  Ely cleared his throat. “Well,” He paused as he took a deep breath. “I want to get this right this time, so bear with me.”

  “You’d better hurry, because I’m—”

  With a laugh, he said, “Did I mention I like it that you’re so bossy and love to be in charge?”

  She snorted again.

  “I love you, Jeri.”

  “I am closer to forty than I am to thirty,” she countered with one of her brows raised teasingly.

  “Ouch.”

  “I am quite a sight when I wake up in the morning.”

  A wide smile spread across his face. “Something I still have to discover.” He moved her hands to his chest and then cupped her face. “Yes or no, sweetheart?”

  Tilting her head to the ceiling, she let out a small sigh. “Ely, how can I answer this in yes or no? I failed with my first marriage.”

  “You learn from your mistakes and move on.”

  She met his gaze. “You know, you can have me without any binding contracts.”

  “I like binding contracts. I want to let you know you can boss me around till the end of our days. I like a bit of tradition.” With his thumb stroking her jaw, he said against her lips, “I love you, Jeri. I know we have something really good here.”

  “Yes,” she whispered. “Yes. For heaven’s sake. I love you, too. Deeply, madly, truly.”

  “You’re going to sing for me as well?”

  She gave him a soft laugh, and he leaned in, kissed her temple, her jaw, and brushed the tip of her nose with his lips before he kissed her, letting her know just how much he loved and would love her.

  About the Author

  Iris Blobel was born and raised in Germany and only immigrated to Australia in the late 1990s. Having had the travel bug most of her life, Iris spent quite some time living in Scotland, London as well as Canada where she met her husband. Her love for putting her stories onto paper has only emerged recently, but now her laptop is a constant companion.

  Iris resides west of Melbourne with her husband and her two beautiful daughters.

  Next to her job at a private school, she also presents a German Program at the local Community Radio.

  Iris loves to hear from her readers!

  @_iris_b

  irisblobel

  www.iris-b.blogspot.com