The Saga of Tanya The Evil, Vol. 8: In Omnia Paratus

by Carlo Zen

  “…I find that extremely hard to believe. We’re at war!” she yells, so shaken as to be visibly upset.

  To Tanya, a pacifist, peace has a value that can’t be exchanged for anything else. Human capital is the hardest thing to rebuild.

  “We’re sitting here feeding logs of human lives into the fires of war like idiots!”

  If the economists at the World Bank saw the way we’re carelessly gouging into the educated working population, they’d faint for sure. This is just like Ebola and AIDS. If you let something go unchecked because the cure is expensive, society will eventually pay an even greater price.

  No matter if it’s bitter or costly, if there’s a prescription for a cure, it must be accepted.

  “After hemorrhaging precious human lives, they can’t even make the call to cut our losses? I don’t think that’s how intelligent people would act.”

  Peace is an investment that generally pays reliable dividends.

  Ah, but perhaps start-up costs are high. Still, it’s certainly wiser than carrying on with an enterprise that’s constantly bleeding out into the red.

  In response to Tanya’s shriek-like rumination, Zettour wears a vague, dry smile. There’s no refutation, no persuasion, no denial, just a mute silence.

  I would prefer if he said something.

  If a logical General Staff officer was joking, there was still a possibility. But having no words carries a significance that…

  If there isn’t anything you can say, silence is correct.

  It’s the limit of words or perhaps of reason.

  “…After putting us in the red with all this waste, the rear is trying to escape our unproductive reality?”

  Still mute, Zettour takes out a cigar and abruptly cuts it. Then he strikes a match, and the way he slowly begins to puff at it makes him look, at a glance, like he would on any normal day.

  “Maybe the romanticists looking for honor and prestige out of war have finally died off. But the desire for revenge and gains that match the sacrifices we’ve made are a whole other issue. Public opinion is birthing a chimera-like hodgepodge of a monster.”

  “It should be mowed down with sweeping machine gun fire. Iron and blood will fix it.”

  Physical laws demolish silly talk.

  No matter how strong your belief, the world will never move exactly as you predict. Perhaps it’s an inconvenient truth for guys like Being X, but the world just does its thing. Interventions don’t just work because you want them to.

  “If everyone and their mother thought the way you do, that would be convenient. But we’ve got to accept that we’re the hopelessly tiny minority.”

  “Like the majority that believed in the geocentric model and the minority that believed in the heliocentric theory, sir? I feel like a trailblazer who’ll teach dimwits some truths about reality. In order to win, we’ll need to reform our awareness.”

  “Colonel von Degurechaff. As a practical problem, your opinion is worth considering… I should accept that we need to overcome our internal challenges.”

  Though she was the one who said it, Tanya finds herself bewildered by the bad feeling that has beset her.

  “A soldier achieving victory in domestic affairs? Is there a chance you can seize the initiative?”

  “Problematically, I’ve only ever worked as a faithful military bureaucrat. Regardless of how I fare within the military organization, I know nothing of how to make things happen in politics. I’m an inexperienced amateur without a single trick up my sleeve.”

  “So you’re going to start now?”

  “It’s time to study, Colonel. Let’s learn some nasty tricks. For starters, I want you to be one of my accomplices.”

  Tanya flinches slightly.

  I don’t like that word.

  “An ‘accomplice,’ sir?”

  “…Yes.”

  “I can’t help but feel bewildered.”

  This is an invitation that the normative, modern citizen of good sense and abundant law-abiding spirit, Tanya von Degurechaff, has a very hard time replying to with a nod of acceptance.

  Crime is not my style.

  Laws, yes, are merely for hitting people with. That is, they’re a useful blade, but that doesn’t mean they should be your own death sentence like some sword of Damocles. When you consider that trusting in the law is what secures the market’s reputation, then breaking a law on purpose is unacceptable.

  If there’s one thing ten thousand people in modern society agree should be taboo, it’s “breaking the law.”

  “…You’re one of our most experienced frontline commanders. And you have the right abilities for a staff officer. I hardly think you don’t understand our situation.”

  “General, with all due respect, it’s precisely because I understand that I hesitate.”

  The Imperial Army General Staff has been an exacting boss. The quotas they impose are brutal, and they don’t give your feelings one iota of consideration when deciding where to send you next.

  But that’s the fate of anyone stuck in a normal job.

  You have to go where you’re sent and do what you’re told—anything goes, as long as it’s a lawful order.

  But that’s based on the premise that the higher-ups understand the way things ought to be.

  Any member of society who has to cover for a nincompoop manager on top of doing their own work would want to throw up their hands. But when you find out the leadership has abandoned reason during a war, are you willing to consider illegal countermeasures?

  To Tanya’s sensible nerves, that’s intolerable.

  “Forgive me, sir, but please keep the gap between our ranks in mind.”

  “Hmm?”

  “I’m merely a member of a military organization whose duty is to obey lawful orders.”

  Even if it’s for work, I’m not about to cross during a red light.

  Tanya reveres the life of a law-abiding citizen; it’s not as if she’s interested in deviating from the norm, and she definitely doesn’t want to get dragged into being someone’s accomplice and made a bona fide gangster.

  Laws are for getting other people to break, not for breaking yourself.

  She understands that Zettour, this important man, is implying all sorts of things between his words, but once you touch that guilty business, that’s your life. Everyone knows that someone who gets their hands dirty is tainted forever.

  Well, or maybe it works a bit differently from how the Nikkei corporations did it.

  Maybe personnel doctrine in the Reich is kinder toward underground business… In other words, could it be set up so you can be ordered to ignore the law as necessary?

  To Tanya, a proudly justice-loving individual, that makes the world a very sad place.

  “General, allow me to say once again: I’m nothing but a soldier bound by lawful service. No matter what the intention, any deviation from legal norms would mean betrayal of the imperial family and the fatherland.”

  Of course, that applies only to the letter of the law, not its spirit. Anything not written down is nonexistent.

  “Very good. Incidentally, your duty is to defend the Empire, is it not?”

  “It is, General.”

  Her nominal duty…

  To Tanya, it’s simply to devote herself to what her work is according to the contract. Perhaps it should be called a stipulation against side jobs, but pursuing anything besides imperial victory would be a contradiction of the idea of a contract.

  “Then sorry, but I have an order for you. Colonel von Degurechaff, find the way to do that which you deem ‘best.’”

  “If that’s your ‘order,’ sir…”

  “Good. Well, yes. I’ll just give the order.”

  Wondering what the command will be, Tanya is frightened, but Zettour smiles to relax her.

  “It’s an all-new initiative. A new way out. It’s unorthodox, but it might be a soldier’s greatest ambition.”

  “I’d appreciate if you’d tell me what it
is.”

  “Sure.” Zettour nods benevolently. “Are you fond of preventative surgical measures, Colonel?”

  In this context…

  In this conversation…

  Preventative measures.

  Surgical?

  In this ever-so-pregnant string of words, Tanya discovers the source of the dangerous vibe she has been getting from Zettour since the start.

  For a high-ranking officer to come out and say this openly sure is a sight.

  “…Not to be insolent, but I’m an imperial soldier.”

  Official stances are wonderful.

  Official stances are safe.

  Thus, Tanya resorts to the model answer that Magic Lieutenant Colonel Tanya von Degurechaff is supposed to give. Emphasizing that she is a soldier and will fulfill her duty as an officer while simultaneously declaring her firm refusal to deviate.

  She’s so desperate that Zettour cracks a smile.

  “Fantastic. If you had answered with anything else, I would have had to shoot you. If you understand that much, then I have faith that you’ll be able to take the appropriate surgical measure.”

  “…What in the world are you planning to do?”

  She doesn’t want to ask, but the risk of not knowing is greater.

  “In order to give our undivided attention to the east, we need to win our war in the west.”

  “You mean the western air war?”

  She realizes that’s wishful thinking, but it’s a hope she can’t give up on so easily.

  “A little more toward the east than that.”

  Ahhh, damn it all. She sees what he means. So it’s come to that?

  East of west could only mean the beautiful place Tanya has been wanting to return to so badly: the dear homeland. As a rule, falling back to the rear is a happy thing; however…this particular instance makes her hesitate.

  “Rejoice, Colonel. It’s a peaceful type of war. We’ll have a grand time back home.”

  “If that’s an order, then of course I’ll do what little is in my power.”

  Tanya repeats that she’s a soldier, a member of an organization. Implicitly informing your boss of your position is essential for self-preservation. Although I’m not sure how effective it will be here.

  After all, the man staring her in the face, Zettour, is a specialist in military administration. If a pro at formalities gets serious, they’ll find a way to do whatever is needed.

  “Great.”

  “Yes, sir.”

  “Let this be a golden era for the Reich… Even if it’s a twilight, we’ve got to show them that the sun will rise again. I’m counting on you, Colonel.”

  “We shall…make this a golden era for the Reich.”

  “Good! Very good! Let us steel our resolve. We don’t seem to have much of a choice.”

  “…Yes, let’s prepare ourselves just in case.” Tanya murmurs a reply.

  I’m sure this order will be awful. I’m sure it’ll be justified as necessary, but it’s terribly upsetting to be forced to go along with it.

  Still, if running isn’t an option, then there’s no choice—Tanya needs to be ready no matter what comes next.

  (The Saga of Tanya the Evil, Volume 8: In Omnia Paratus, fin)

  Afterword

  Are there any heroes out there who bought the books in one fell swoop after seeing the anime? I’ve heard rumors that I only half believe, but in any case, please mind the difference between bravery and recklessness.

  Nice to meet you, hello, or perhaps long time no see. This is Carlo Zen (@sonzaix).

  Soon the manga will pass the novels in terms of number of volumes. How in the world did this happen?

  When I consider the reason, I feel it must be that working on the anime took up some time, but if I think about it harder, I also get the feeling I’m just slower these days. Thus, I truly appreciate you comrades who always wait patiently for new volumes.

  Perhaps this is wisdom of the crowd, but in the sense that many people have discovered various ways to enjoy The Saga of Tanya the Evil, I think we can say that the anime has achieved favorable results. I am indebted to the anime staff, as I relied on them a great deal. Now I simply have to carry on the extremely easy work of releasing more volumes at a constant pace.

  Strangely, my only worry is that I don’t seem to be staying on schedule; in that sense, manuscripts are kind of like summer vacation homework. That said, I vow to do my summer homework according to a plan.

  I have the feeling I made the same vow every year of elementary, middle, and high school, but looking at it another way, that means I’ve held fast to the idea all these years, so I hope you’ll acknowledge my tenacious integrity, if nothing else.

  It’s thanks to all of you that a guy like me can continue writing and making books. I really owe the designers at Tsubakiya Design, the proofreaders at Tokyo Publisher Service Center, my editors Fujita and Tamai, and illustrator Shinotsuki.

  And thank you as always to you, the readers who stick with me. I hope to keep seeing you around.

  June 2017 Carlo Zen

  1 King of Arms I’ll explain this! Strangely, there are three Kings of Arms. As for what they do: They decide who gets a coat of arms! They participate in ceremonies! Positions in the College of Arms are honorary, but there is an official salary. Specifically, the top king gets £49.07, and the other two get £20.25. And that’s annually, by the way. Whatever expenses aren’t covered, you’ll have to earn on your own somehow!

  2 the infantry manual All officers are required to memorize this manual approved by top dogs who think they know better—that is, important people with education.

  3 plank of Carneades A thought experiment about what is acceptable in times of emergency evacuation—e.g., the question of whether it’s permissible to shove another person off to ensure you’re the one who’s rescued if only one person can live.

  4 kill ratio How many of theirs we can kill during the time one of ours is killed.

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