Murder is a Monkey's Game

by Ruby Loren

  I made myself maintain a sense of calm, knowing that any other reaction would merely make Adele panic further. “I'm sure you’re right and it’s nothing to do with the pills, but all the same, you should take Jolie to the vet today. Let’s not panic too soon, all right? We'll take her in and find out what’s wrong. I'm sure it will be fine,” I said, crossing my fingers when I said it.

  Adele nodded, a tear sliding down her smooth cheek. “Okay, you’re right. Jeez, I should have done this earlier. I’m just so scared she’s going to die and it’s all my fault.”

  “I'm sure that won’t happen," I repeated, praying I was right.

  “Come with me, Madi. Please!” she said, grabbing my hand. “If it’s really bad, I… I’d just be so grateful if you were there with me. I told Justin I was too sick to work today but really I just wanted to stay home and check on Jolie. I hoped she'd get better, but she seems even more listless today. She’s not even walking around anymore. She just sits in her basket whining.”

  “All right, we’ll get her to the vet," I said and then frowned. "Is there a vet around here?”

  “Yes, because of the zoo, they have quite a good business, although they run the practice on their own. The doctor works in the same building," she said.

  I noticed that her hands were still clasping and unclasping but less frantically than they had been.

  “Let’s go pick up Jolie,” I said, summoning up what I hoped was a reassuring smile.

  * * *

  I was forced to agree with what Adele had said about the vet running a successful business. When we arrived with Jolie and asked for an appointment, we were told that the wait was around an hour. I’d checked the clock on the wall and had realised I was going to be late for my appointment with the agent. I bit the inside of my cheek and made a decision. There was no telling how long we’d be hanging around for. I pulled out my phone and quickly fired off an apology email, citing an animal emergency and asking if the agent would be kind enough to postpone our appointment.

  To be honest, I wasn’t convinced I’d hear from them again, but perhaps it was for the best. I hadn’t been sure about this whole business from the start. My comic was only ever meant to be a hobby.

  We sat down in the waiting room with Jolie, who tried to fit beneath the seats and then gave up. She whined and looked at us piteously.

  “Did, uh, the vet tell you to cut down on her food?” I said, surprised that Jolie had managed to get as large as she was in the hands of two trained zookeepers.

  Adele sighed and threw up her hands. “We’ve tried everything! She just has a knack for getting into food. The neighbours once left a pie on their outside table to cool. Not anymore,” she said, grimly.

  We both looked at the dog.

  “You know, she doesn’t seem that sick to me, just unhappy. If she did swallow the pills, I think they were probably still in the bottle. That would certainly be enough to make her unhappy,” I said, reminded of Mr Limey, the snake, who I'd looked after at Snidely Safari and Wildlife Park. He’d had a solid item stuck in his tail but had fortunately lived to tell the tale… as had I.

  I looked around the waiting room and recognised a few of the villagers, who seemed to be sniffling and clutching tissues to their faces. I resisted the urge to immediately disinfect my hands. Adele had already told me that the vet and the doctor shared the same building, but I couldn’t help wondering if visitors to the vet returned the next day to see the doctor, after catching whatever bug was currently incubating in the waiting room.

  My eyes skated across several fluffy animals, from rabbits to guinea pigs and then - slightly more unusual - a pig wearing a collar and leash. I was still marvelling at that when I saw a familiar suit out of the corner of eye. I turned in time to see Mr Flannigan rise up from where he must have been seated around the corner of the waiting room and walk across to the reception desk.

  “How long until I can see the doctor? I’m not a patient. This is a criminal investigation,” he hissed. It was clear that he didn’t want to be overheard but the room had hushed as soon as he'd started talking, so we all picked up every single word.

  The receptionist stopped typing on the computer and fixed him with a glare that would have made most people retreat. The agent just gritted his teeth and stared back.

  “I’ve already told you the waiting time. Saturday morning surgeries are busy. Perhaps you could come back another day?”

  “No, I can’t! The whole point of this is to resolve the situation quickly. You are being unhelpful, Madame. Have you at least asked the doctor if he could just spare a couple of minutes between appointments?”

  I winced at his tone of voice. He was going entirely the wrong way about it if he wanted to hurry things along. You never antagonised the gatekeeper. I wouldn’t be surprised if his wait had just doubled.

  “I never disturb the doctor while he's working. It is my job to run the waiting room and I am merely abiding by what is fair. You may wait, or you may come back another time," she told him and deliberately looked back at the computer screen.

  Mr Flannigan's face was redder than I remembered when he turned round and saw me sitting with Adele. To my annoyance, he walked over and sat in the empty seat next to me.

  “You didn’t mention that you and your friends witnessed Monsieur Devereux’s death,” he said, accusingly.

  “You didn’t ask, so I assumed you already knew. Anyway, we didn’t see his death. He was already dead when he fell… unless you know otherwise?” I probed, overstating the facts a little.

  Mr Flannigan’s face closed down but I took from his grumpiness that I was correct.

  “Well, I need to interview you all. There are some questions you must answer. Will this afternoon do?”

  I shook my head. “I have the weekend off. You should come by the zoo on Monday. All three of us will be back at work then, although you’ll probably have to ask the manager if it’s okay," I added, secretly pleased to be making things a bit difficult for the man. I hoped it would teach him to use a little more common courtesy, but I had a feeling that ship had sailed a long time ago.

  He sighed, openly and rudely, merely affirming the judgement I’d already made. I opened my mouth to ask him about Lowell and then thought better of it. If Ms Borel hadn't chosen to say anything to him, there was probably a good reason for it.

  “I can’t believe this is taking so long,” he muttered. When I made no comment, he looked at me for several seconds without speaking. I studiously ignored him and instead reached down to pat the miserable Jolie.

  “What are you here for?” he asked.

  I felt like rolling my eyes at the social faux pas. Was this man really so out of touch, or did he just trade on being impolite?

  “I’m helping Adele with her dog, Jolie,” I said, as shortly as I could. “Did you get the information you wanted from Madame Devereux?” I asked, equally rudely.

  He shrugged. “The old man never told her much of anything.”

  I nodded and unzipped my bag, pointedly taking out my laptop and opening it in order to do some pretend work. Anything to escape this conversation.

  “Still working on your day off?” Flannigan said, looking over my shoulder at the review document for L’airelle Zoological Park, which had been the first thing to come up.

  “Just making good use of time spent waiting around,” I said, forcing myself to read the document.

  Next to me, the government agent slumped back in his seat. “Are you sure you two couldn't get the other one and talk to me after this?”

  I shook my head without even looking at him.

  Fortunately, Adele’s name was called and I didn’t have to start the argument all over again.

  “I’ll see you on Monday,” Flannigan called after us.

  I waved a hand behind me, which he could take however he wanted to.

  Adele shot me a wide-eyed look once we were safely inside the vet’s office. I returned it and added a relieved grin.

&nbs
p; “Madame Nice, what can I do for you today?” The vet asked with a kindly smile.

  I immediately decided I liked Monsieur Lupin, the vet. Everything from his half-moon glasses, to the smile lines around his mouth and eyes, hinted that he was a nice person.

  “It’s Justin’s dog… Jolie. I think she may have eaten some pills of mine. I left the whole bottle on the counter and then they were just gone - bottle and all! Jolie’s been acting strangely and you know what she’s like around food,” Adele blustered and then stopped.

  “Okay now, let’s not worry ourselves too soon, shall we?” the vet said placatingly. “Let’s try to get her up on the counter.”

  Seeing that Adele was still wringing her hands over the potential fate of her husband’s dog, I moved forwards to assist the vet in hefting Jolie onto the examination table. Once there, the dog let out a long and pitiful whine.

  “There, there, I'm sure it’s nothing to worry about,” the vet said to the black dog, patting her on the head. “She never liked coming here at the best of times, even when treats were on offer,” he confided with me.

  “I can see she’s put on weight again, although perhaps there could be bloating if she did eat those pills, but you said they were in the bottle…” He squinted his eyes and started to examine the Labrador, looking into her eyes and mouth. “Hmmm, yes, I see," he said, cryptically.

  He got out a stethoscope and began moving it up and down Jolie’s body, tapping it every now and then.

  “How are your tigers, Adele? I heard they may have had an unexpected dietary supplement the other day.” The vet raised a bushy eyebrow.

  “Justin got them to come away by bribing them with food, so I don’t think they got much," Adele said with a thin smile.

  I realised that this vet had a rather dark sense of humour.

  He chuckled. “Well, I’m just glad you haven’t brought them in with indigestion. Every time I go up to the zoo I’m amazed when I come back with all of my limbs still attached. I've no doubt that my luck will run out one day.”

  He started to hum a little tune as he lifted Jolie’s tail and then, to the dog’s distaste, popped in a thermometer and took her temperature.

  “How is she?” Adele asked, anxiety winning out.

  “Oh, she’s fine," the vet cheerfully informed her.

  “There's nothing wrong?” Adele frowned. “But her behaviour…"

  “Yes, it’s quite characteristic. I think Jolie here was just trying to get your attention. There's nothing wrong with her - she’s just pregnant.”

  Adele’s face turned white. “Pregnant?”

  “Yes! I can see from your face that it must have not been intentional. Not to worry, these things happen, although I recommend you get her spayed after she’s had this litter. You have another dog, don’t you?”

  “Yes, but he came to us already neutered,” Adele said. “You’re sure it’s nothing to do with the pills?”

  The vet shook his head. “No, I heard several little heartbeats when I listened to her tummy. She and the litter seem healthy to me. I reckon you’ll be meeting them yourself in a day or so.” He smiled fondly at the forlorn dog. “You must have got loose and met Mr Right, eh?”

  “But, she's never got loose!” Adele cut in, visibly distressed. “Since she started stealing the neighbours’ food, Justin shored up all of the fences around the garden. This doesn’t make any sense.”

  The vet shot her a rueful smile. “Well, something happened, or we’re looking at a miraculous birth.” He looked down at the dog, who to me seemed to look back very guiltily indeed. “You’d better talk to your husband. Perhaps he knows how it happened. Call me if there are any complications or the pups don’t appear within the week.” He rubbed his bearded chin thoughtfully. “You'd better take her off that strict diet I gave you. It’s no wonder she’s unhappy. She’s probably very hungry indeed. Sorry old girl,” he said, rubbing the dog’s head. “How about a treat to make it up to you?” He pulled a twisted chew out of a glass jar and Jolie's tail started to wag for the first time since we’d arrived at the vets. “There, I knew that would make it all better. Now, don’t forget to bring the puppies in for a checkup and to get their jabs. If you think you’ll have trouble finding homes for them, I’d be happy to put the word out once we know how many we have on our hands. And what they look like,” he added, throwing Jolie a curious look. “It’s rather exciting, isn’t it? Only time will tell.”

  He cheerfully waved us out of the room, leaving Adele and me at reception to pay the vet’s bill. My new colleague handed over her bank card without a word.

  “It’s good that Jolie is all right, isn’t it?” I said once we were outside. Adele hadn’t said a word since we’d left the vet’s office.

  “Good? I’m going to kill her! How could she be so irresponsible! Running off and getting pregnant!” she ranted, but I thought I saw the beginnings of a smile there. She sighed. “I don’t know how I’m going to tell Justin. I know I said in the vets that she hadn’t got out, but there was this one time… She ran out of the front door when I had a day off and Justin was doing extra time at work. I found her with a whole roast turkey in her mouth. Luckily, I never found out who it had belonged to, but perhaps that wasn't the only thing she got up to during her taste of freedom.”

  "At least she’s in good health. Poor dog, I bet you cut her food down even more when you saw her putting on a paunch,” I said, shooting Jolie a sympathetic look.

  “We did,” Adele admitted, patting the dog on the head. “Oh, how irresponsible for two zookeepers to have an accidental dog pregnancy. We’re meant to be the guiding lights in animal welfare!”

  I gave her a reassuring smile. “Accidents do happen. Don’t worry, I’m sure there’ll be lots of people in the village and at the zoo who'll want one of her pups. Well, unless the father was something really odd,” I amended, thinking of the strange Rottweiler, West Highland Terrier cross I’d once seen on the internet. Despite it being a rather implausible breeding mixup, homes had been found for all of the puppies. “Just get her fixed after she’s given birth. I’m sure Justin will forgive you,” I added.

  “Nothing to be done now. I’m sure it will work out in the end. We’d better get you home then and start making preparations for the new arrivals,” she said to Jolie, ruffling her ears.

  The dog still had a forlorn air about her, but that was probably just because being this pregnant was no fun. Still, it’ll make a great addition to the storyline for my comic! I thought.

  I reflexively reached down to pat my laptop, only to discover I wasn’t carrying the bag any more. I thought back to taking it out in order to dissuade the agent from talking to me and then recalled hastily packing it away again… and not picking it up.

  “One sec, Adele. I left my laptop case inside. Are you and Jolie okay to wait?” I asked.

  She nodded and waved a hand. “I've got all the time in the world now I know my husband’s dog isn’t at death’s door because of me. I do wonder where my pills went. Perhaps Justin knows.” Her cheeks turned a little pink. “I didn’t actually ask him. I was so sure Jolie had got into them I didn't dare bring it up, but perhaps he just moved them somewhere else.”

  “I’m glad this mystery had a happy ending,” I told her, before I disappeared back inside the surgery.

  The waiting room had emptied a lot since we’d been in there and it was with some relief that I noticed Mr Flannigan must have finally been admitted to see the doctor. My laptop case was right where I’d left it, next to my chair, and I picked it up.

  I was about to exit the building for a second time when I overheard a conversation. The doctor’s office was on the way out and he’d left his door open a crack. I hadn’t intended to eavesdrop, but Mr Flannigan's clipped British accent stood out a mile in the rural French village.

  I glanced around, but no one was looking my way. I pretended to notice my shoelace was undone and bent to retie it.

  “I’m with the British governmen
t. You are authorised to share medical records and opinions with me,” I heard Mr Flannigan say, and by the tone of his voice, it wasn’t the first time he'd said it. He was evidently having a hard time persuading the local doctor that it was okay to talk about one of his past patients. “His widow’s already told me he liked a drink or two. I just want to know what your opinion was.”

  I heard the sound of papers being shuffled and then the doctor spoke. “Monsieur Devereux certainly had a reputation for drinking to excess. He never came to me about it, but as he was getting older, I did warn him of the dangers for a man of his age. Now, I only feel authorised to share Monsieur Devereux’s records - and his alone - with you, but I will say I’m not at all sorry he's gone… if you catch my meaning.”

  I realised the consultation was coming to an end and hastily stopped pretending to tie my shoelace. I walked out into the bright sunshine and rejoined Adele. Together, we got Jolie back into the car - admittedly being a little more careful than we had when we’d been rushing her to the vet in what we’d both thought could be a life or death situation.

  On the brief drive back to Adele’s house, I considered what I’d heard. Pascal Devereux had liked to drink and it sounded like he hadn’t been particularly pleasant when he’d been liquored up. The doctor had definitely hinted that he’d got violent on occasion. I wondered if there were other people in the village who’d known that little secret and might have finally decided to put a stop to the behaviour… permanently.

  “Madi, would you like to come in for tea? I’d love to say thank you for coming with me to the vet,” Adele said when we pulled up outside her house.

  I glanced at my phone screen and realised it was already half past one. It wasn’t long until Lowell’s promised feast would be ready.

  “Lowell’s cooking dinner at home and I should really be getting back,” I said, wondering if I’d regret turning down the opportunity for what would no doubt have been more substantial fare than just a cup of tea.

  “I see,” Adele said with a curious look. “Is cooking one of his talents?”