Murder is a Monkey's Game

by Ruby Loren

  “I was actually looking for Adele. Have you seen her?” Nathan asked, just as the zoo’s insect specialist walked over.

  “Hey, Nathan, how’s it going? You still seeing Sage? I’m amazed she hasn’t thrown you off the side of a mountain yet,” the newcomer said, flashing a set of uneven teeth at me.

  I raised an eyebrow at the unusual comment.

  “Sage helps run the paragliding school with her dad,” Nathan said, for my benefit. “In answer to your question, Julian, I’m still seeing her. So you can keep dreaming,” he added with a grin. It was meant to be cocky but it somehow didn’t suit Nathan, whom I had down in my books as a slightly sensitive young man.

  “I don’t know how someone with a face like yours gets to be so lucky,” the other guy joked. “See you around!”

  I was left alone again with Nathan.

  I suddenly remembered he’d asked a question before Julian had come along. “Adele’s at home. Her dog is giving birth,” I explained.

  “Wow! That’s great. I wonder if she’ll let me have one?”

  “Probably! I know she’s going to be looking for homes for them but - fair warning - we also have no idea what the dogs will be like. Jolie’s a Labrador but the father remains a mystery. The only thing we know for sure is that it wasn’t Matti.”

  Nathan nodded. “I’m sure they’ll be just great. Just like Adele. She's great too, isn’t she?”

  A couple of things slotted into place for me when I saw the misty look that came into Nathan's eyes. To be fair to Adele, although she was past the first flush of youth, she was still a very attractive woman. One who had inadvertently put young Nathan under her spell.

  “She is great. Her husband is nice as well. Do you know Justin?” I said, wondering if I was being horrendously unsubtle.

  Nathan nodded a little hesitantly. “Yeah, he seems like a good guy. Anyway, I’d better be getting on before Constantine catches me,” he said, with a twinkle in his eye.

  “I’ll see you around,” I said and watched him walk away. I wondered if I should mention his little crush to Adele, but I was sure she already knew. Nathan wasn’t nearly as subtle as he thought he was. I just hoped he gave as much attention to his actual girlfriend, although if he were looking at other women…

  I smiled and shook my head. He was in his early twenties and clearly trying his luck. He’d probably get knocked down for it at some point and then he’d learn.

  I returned to my new duties of caring for the big cats and the rest of the day passed without any further accidental declarations of love or shouting matches.

  * * *

  “Did you have a good day?” I asked Lowell when I arrived back at the cottage.

  “Yeah, it was great. I’m working my way through the local mountain walks. It’s tough, but I think I'm already a bit more in shape. This is turning out to be a really great holiday,” he said, walking over and wrapping his arms around my lower back before giving me a kiss.

  I smiled up at him and raised an eyebrow. “Despite the mysterious murder?”

  “Yes. For once, I haven't been dragged into the whole mess. It’s a relief,” he said.

  I noticed a slight flicker in his eyes and suddenly remembered there was something I'd wanted to ask him for a while. “Have you seen the other agent around? The female one?”

  She’d been missing when Mr Flannigan had conducted his incredibly rude interview.

  “We did bump into each other in town a couple of days ago. She asked what I was up to and I asked her the same. That was it, really.”

  “You didn’t happen to discuss the case, or why, exactly, they’re both in town?” I queried.

  “It didn't come up,” Lowell said and reached past me, picking a bottle up from the counter. “I bought us some wine from a local vineyard I stumbled upon. Isn't that great?”

  I decided to let the sudden change of subject slide. “Did you taste some first, or did you let them sell you a bottle of vinegar?”

  Lowell threw the wine bottle a doubtful look. “I guess we’ll find out.”

  "Before we do that, can we walk over to Adele’s house? Jolie started to give birth earlier and I haven’t heard an update since then," I said.

  We grabbed a bottle of wine (one that wasn’t so risky) and walked across the village towards the house. The night was still and quiet, and in the peaceful surroundings, I really did find it hard to believe that a murderer could possibly live close by. All the same, a killer lived beneath one of the rooftops and no one had a clue who they were.

  My pensive mood ended when we reached the house and rang the doorbell. It was Luna who answered. She saw my anxious face and smiled.

  “Come in! It’s all fine. She’s done so well! Come and see the puppies.”

  We walked into the building and followed Luna through to the open plan kitchen and dining room area. Adele looked up and smiled from her place on a tartan rug. Next to her, Jolie lay on her side, looking tired but happy, with her tongue lolling out. Justin nodded to me from behind the kitchen counter, and I could just make out a little bundle of cloth in his hands.

  “I’m just rubbing this one to make sure his breathing’s okay. Although we thought Jolie started having contractions this morning, she didn’t actually give birth until later in the day. This little chap was the last one out, but I think he’ll be just fine,” he said. He lifted the towel up and I walked forwards to take a look at the little puppy.

  Despite being the runt of the litter, he looked like a pretty big puppy to me.

  “Look at the size of those paws,” I said, reaching down to lift one of his white feet. The rest of his body was a curious mix of black and white. “He’s a harlequin,” I observed, surprised by the unusual colouring.

  “Four of them are. The other two are nearly all black and then there’s an almost white one, too,” Adele said, gesturing to the row of puppies.

  “Seven puppies,” I breathed and then grinned. “The size of them, too! Well done, Jolie.”

  Adele laughed. “I know! The poor old girl. That’s what she gets for sneaking out and flirting with Madame Louve’s Great Dane.”

  “Great Dane?” I repeated and realised it made sense. I had never seen puppies this big before.

  “Are you going to tell the owner?” I asked.

  Adele, Justin, and Luna all gave me 'are you mad?’ looks.

  “No! Madame Louve doesn’t even let that poor dog sniff either of ours. Can you imagine if she found out what had gone on?” Adele let out a very un-Adele-like giggle.

  “Not to mention the sort of fee she’d charge us for using him as a sire,” Justin added with a shake of his head. “We’re not going to hide the puppies’ breed, it would be unfair on their new families. We’ll tell them the father is a Great Dane, so to expect big dogs when they grow up. We just won't say which Great Dane.”

  “Won’t everyone figure it out?” I said, thinking about the way word spread like wildfire through the small village.

  “Oh, sure. No doubt Madame Louve will know the truth by tomorrow, but she won’t ever want to admit that her precious pedigree dog had contact with someone as rough and ready as our Jolie. We think her pride will mean that we’re safe,” Justin said.

  “Come and see Georgette. She’s my one,” Luna said, pulling me over to the pups. “Isn’t she beautiful?” She pointed to the nearly white one, who wriggled around a bit and then flopped onto her back, revealing an unusual black splat on her chest.

  “She's adorable. They’re all lovely,” I said.

  To my surprise, I found my face was being washed. I turned to face the tall, tan culprit. “Matti!” I said, somewhat surprised.

  Adele stood up and ruffled the Dogue De Bordeaux’s ears. “He started creating a fuss, so Luna brought him over. It’s almost as though he knew something was happening with Jolie. He’s been a dear with the puppies, and Jolie is the most laid back mum I’ve ever seen.”

  "Well, congratulations!” I said. “I didn’t have any d
oggie treats, but here’s something for the both of you,” I said, handing over the wine we’d brought with us.

  “Have you eaten yet? We should all celebrate,” Adele said.

  “We’d love to,” Lowell replied, before I could say anything different. Thoughts of getting more work done on my comic flew out of the window. I chided myself for being so selfish. It was nice to spend time with friends.

  Adele opened the fridge and swore. “This week's flown by. We’ve all been so worried about Jolie that we forgot to get the shopping,” Adele said with a smile.

  “Oh, don’t you worry about that. I’ve got plenty at my place. I’ll go bring some over,” Luna said, standing up.

  “I can bring some things, too,” I said, eager to get in on the charming village tradition of sharing food.

  “The shop’s still open right? I’ll grab some other bits," Lowell contributed. I smiled gratefully at him.

  “You guys are the best. We’ll see you back here soon then!” Adele said and we all went off on our separate missions.

  The rest of the evening was spent in good spirits, as we tucked into the strange but tasty assortment of food and snacks we’d rustled up and toasted Jolie’s achievement.

  I only wished the good times could last forever. Little did I know, they would end as soon as the next morning.

  * * *

  “Morning, is Jolie still okay?” I greeted Adele when I walked into the tiki hut the next day.

  She blinked blearily at me. I took a moment to rub some more sleep from my eyes. Our celebrations had gone on a little late, considering that we all had work the next day. I was currently envying Lowell, who was still tucked up in bed.

  “She's fine. Justin and I are going to pop back home on our breaks and check in on her. We’re taking the puppies to the vet just as soon as they’re old enough to be moved, so he can look them over. We think they’re all healthy though, even the little one.”

  I thought about the size my kitten Lucky had been when I’d rescued him. Now, you’d never know he was the runt of the litter. “I’m sure the little one will soon catch up,” I told her.

  “Boy, did we get carried away last night!” Luna said, walking into the hut, looking just as worse for wear as the rest of us.

  “How exactly did you get carried away?” A serious voice asked.

  We all turned to find that Detective Prideaux was stood in the doorway. Detective Girard hovered apologetically by his side.

  “Adele’s dog gave birth. We all went round and had a bit of a celebration,” I explained. “Do you have some more questions about what we saw?”

  “No,” the detective said, walking into the hut and looking disdainfully at the all but empty chocolate box. “I’m here because last night Madame Duval was stabbed so badly, it is uncertain if she’ll survive her injuries. She was found in Angoux outside her house in the early hours of this morning.”

  “Constantine,” Adele said, making me realise exactly who the police were referring to and exactly why the detective was currently examining each of us, as though we were potentially deranged killers.

  “We’re all sorry to hear the news, Detective. Is there anything we can do?” I said, knowing that courtesy was not going to save me from suspicion this time.

  “Madame Fleur and Madame Amos, you’ve both had grievances with Madame Duval. Isn’t that correct?” Prideaux enquired.

  “I had a difference of opinion with Constantine yesterday, but we both agreed to take the matter to Monsieur Quebec. It was solved,” I told him.

  “What about you, Madame Fleur?”

  “I just told her what I thought of her always walking around pretending she’s better than everyone. That’s all. It’s not a crime,” Luna said, showing pluckiness at entirely the wrong moment, in my opinion.

  “I was right there when it happened. There was never any violent intention whatsoever. You can’t possibly be implying that we had anything to do with this horrible crime!” I protested.

  Detective Prideaux didn’t meet my gaze. “We are just…”

  “Furthering our inquiries,” I mimicked, frustration getting the better of me.

  “Where were you last night?” he asked.

  Relief washed over me. “We were all at Adele and Justin’s house for the whole evening,” I said, triumphantly.

  “What time were you there?”

  “From about six in the evening to midnight,” I said, suddenly anxious as to when the attack had occurred. If it was after midnight, I would have Lowell to give me an alibi, but Luna wouldn’t have anyone.

  “Were you together for the whole evening? Were there any times when you weren’t in each others’ company?” the detective pressed.

  I felt my heart drop what felt like a million miles. “Lowell, Luna, and I all went to get some food but we were only gone for about…. half an hour?” I guessed.

  The detective nodded, looking grimmer by the second.

  It had been the wrong answer to give.

  Angoux was only a ten minute drive away. It was therefore plausible that one of us could have popped over and stabbed poor Constantine before returning to the dinner party, laden with food. I remembered the impressive spread Luna had managed to rustle up and somehow doubted anyone would have the time to do both - not that I was even contemplating it for a second. It was ludicrous that we were under suspicion.

  “I’d like both of you to come to the station for further questioning. Some facts need to be established. Make your way there as soon as you have informed your employer,” Detective Prideaux said. He swept out of the tiki hut before we could say another word. Detective Girard threw us all another apologetic look before scampering out after him. I thought she was the one I pitied most of all in this situation.

  I shrugged at Luna when we were alone with Adele again. “I guess we’d better get going. For what it’s worth, I know you didn’t stab her.”

  I waited patiently.

  Nothing happened.

  “That was your cue to say you know I didn’t do it either,” I told Luna.

  “Oh! Yeah, of course. I don’t see how anyone would believe that you’d be able to stab Constantine,” Luna said, looking me up and down a little too much.

  I sighed.

  We were both excused by Monsieur Quebec. I noticed he seemed to be getting steadily more exasperated. The poor man was having to excuse people from work left, right, and centre. It was a miracle the place was still running.

  “I’ll come down to the station after my break to make sure they let you go again,” Adele reassured us both.

  I took a moment to pen a text message to Lowell, letting him know where I was going and to come and spring me if I wasn't home in time for tea. I hoped it wouldn’t come to that. A spell of incarceration in a French prison probably wouldn’t help my employment prospects.

  * * *

  Stepping inside the police station was like stepping into a 70’s cop show. There was oiled teak wood everywhere and a haze of cigarette smoke that I was certain defied EU workplace regulations. But then, Britain had always been the only country to take the rules to heart.

  “We’re here for questioning,” I informed the woman at the reception desk, feeling faintly ridiculous.

  “Oh no,” Luna muttered, when a gendarme I estimated to be in his thirties approached us. He had fair hair that sat on his head in a fluffy haze and a pleasantly soft face, which lent him a babyish look.

  “It’s my ex,” Luna just managed to hiss before he arrived within earshot.

  I kept my raised eyebrows to myself. I couldn’t even begin to imagine the complications of breaking up with someone who lived in the same little village as you did and having to bump into them forever more. It was bad enough when that happened to work colleagues, but you could always leave the job. Moving house was a bit more drastic.

  “Luna, please come with me,” the gendarme said, completely ignoring me.

  “Is someone going to see me?” I asked.

&
nbsp; The man looked blankly back.

  “I’m Madigan Amos,” I prompted.

  “Someone will come,” he said, in the vague way of a man who has no clue about what is really going on, but is loathe to admit it.

  Instead of waiting in the middle of the surprisingly well-staffed room, I decided to follow Luna and the gendarme.

  The next room was comprised of cubicles formed from padded boards, presumably intended to afford those inside some privacy. The gendarme sat Luna down and then disappeared, allowing me ample time to sneak over to her.

  “This is a nightmare!” Luna whispered to me. “I used to date Enzo Argent last year. He then cheated on me with another woman, knocked her up, and had to marry her,” she confided.

  “Wow, a shotgun wedding in the heart of France,” I said, unable to stop myself grinning at the unusual setting for such a thing.

  “It was quite a scandal, but hush… his wife is a few cubicles down behind you. She’s already looked over here once.” Luna glanced that way and then ducked her head again. “Oh no, now she’ll think I’m talking about her! I don’t want anything to do with this. The word is that they’re about to get a divorce. Quick! He’s coming back,” she fast-whispered, and I slid around the corner of the cubicle and managed to get back into the main room without Enzo spotting me.

  “There you are,” Detective Girard said, making me jump. “Come on, I’ll make this quick.”

  I noticed she looked over at officer Argent’s cubicle and shook her head in disgust. After what I'd just learnt about the man in a very short space of time, I couldn’t blame her. There were usually two sides to a story but a man who'd cheated on Luna and was now trying to use her to antagonise his soon to be ex-wife - the very woman he’d cheated on her with - didn't sound like a decent person to me.