Desire of the Soul

by Alana Topakian

Letting Go

  I woke in my body again, the memories of before still ingrained in my head. What had I just done? Did I actually just Time Travel? Or was that just nothing more than a dream, caused by my overactive imagination and stress?

  Kallisto wasn’t in the room and my hands were unbound, giving me the freedom to look at the damage done. 

  An immediate mistake, because when I saw my black and charred wrists I threw up. When everything in my stomach was gone, I realized they no longer hurt, and had instead started to tingle. Duke had taught me that tingling meant healing, and so I had a small glimmer of hope for my wrists. 

  But I had to stop thinking of myself, and focus on Kallisto. Before I wouldn’t have cared if she died, hell that was the very least that she deserved, but I knew now that what she became was my fault. If I had actually traveled through Time, then I also basically convinced Kallisto to let go, and let her body turn into a vampire. So I had to get her back to herself, but how was I supposed to do that?

  My thoughts were cut off as Duke crowded my brain, his voice lifting my spirits immediately. ’Tam, I’m almost there. I don’t know what she did to you, but please Tammy...please stay with me. Don’t go all right? I could hear you screaming in my head, and...and I felt the same pain you did. It was terrible... please Tammy... please be okay.’

  I sat down on the bed, getting up from the dirt floor I’d passed out on. I didn’t have enough energy to send Duke a message back, the trip to the past and getting my wrists almost burned off, seemed to have zapped me of almost all of my energy. Even if I did have energy though, I didn’t have enough time, because Kallisto appeared from thin air as her apparent usual. 

  “Hello dear, how are you and your charred wrists?” she asked, her voice light and uncaring. I could smell the overpowering scent of blood on her and felt my canines grow longer. Kallisto’s smell of death had lessened to a more bearable smell, most likely because of how she had eaten from someone of life. I had to force myself to still, and not jump her to steal the already stolen blood that ran through her veins. I really needed to eat, and soon, but first I had to bring Kallisto back to her body.

  An idea formed in my head, a plan using the information I just learned from the past. Would it work though? I really hoped I hadn’t misjudged Kallisto’s human form, I really hoped she loved her family as much as it looked like. 

  “I am actually wonderful, thank you for asking. You know, I once heard this phrase from a person. It was a simple phrase in Latin actually, and damn if it didn’t just remind me of you. Verum dic tibi ipsi. It means-” 

  “Be true to yourself without hesitation,” Kallisto whispered, her eyes filling up with bright red tears. “My-my mother used to say that to me.” Her eyes were starting to show a hint of ocean blue, and I felt my heart lift with excitement. Was this actually going to work? Was that all it took? Could I save Kallisto with just a simple phrase?

  Of course, my plan went tumbling down when there was a commotion outside the room. Duke. Kallisto’s eyes lost their ocean blue, and turned a bright and hideous red. She was at me in a blur, grabbing me by my dirt-covered clothes. “You told him! You alerted him to my presence!” she yelled, her fangs sliding out. 

  I pushed her away, feeling the Red build up in my body. “Don’t touch me,” I snarled and pounced on Kallisto. She was older, and therefore stronger, but I had one thing on my side. Duke, who had yet to appear heroically in front of my locked doors. I needed him to say the words, the ones that would pull Kallisto’s soul back into her body. As I fought, pink tears slid down my cheeks. Kallisto would get Duke without a doubt, and I would just be another memory.

  My thoughts distracted me, and so when Kallisto bit into me I hadn’t been ready. I felt pain as the poison of her bite zipped through my veins. I screamed, lashing out with all my strength. Kallisto, surprised, flew to the wall. There was a crack as she hit it and I twitched, the sound startling me.

  Her bite had fueled the Red in me though, so when I ran to her and bit into her wrist, I felt no guilt. The blood slid down my throat healing the burns caused by the acid, taking away the venom of the bite, and taking back my blood. After a couple minutes I dropped her to the ground. Kallisto opened her eyes slowly, and they were glazed and bloodshot as if she was high. 

  “Go to sleep,” I commanded, watching with wonder as she listened without hesitation. I felt the strength her blood had supplied me with roar throughout my body, and used it to force the door open. It slammed right into Duke, who had apparently been trying to unlock the door.

  “Tammy! You’re-you’re okay!” he stuttered, his voice filled with relief. Duke pulled me into him, hugging me tight to him.

  I wanted so badly to stay in his arms, knowing that this would be the last time I would be in them, but I couldn’t. I stepped out of his embrace, quickly wiping away the tears that had begun to fall once again. Weird how when I was a human I never cried, but since I had become an Amatores all I’ve been doing is crying. 

  “I’m sorry...but we have to do this. I-I tried, but I think it’s up to you now,” I whispered, and walked back into the cold room. 

  Kallisto was sleeping, her body unmoving, and Duke ran to her as I knew he would. He sunk by her side, his eyes going wide in horror as he looked at first her then me. 

  I felt a sharp tear at my heart, but ignored it and focused on Kallisto. “Say the words to her Duke. You know what they are, they’ve been ingrained in your head for years now, for centuries. Say the words to her that you said right as she laid in your arms, right after you poisoned her with your bite.”

  “You mean you were there? You saw?” he asked, his voice quiet. I nodded, and he breathed in a deep, shuddering breath. “Please my dear Kallisto, come back... Odi et amo. Quare id faciam, fortasse requiris? Nescio, sed fieri sentio et excrucior.” His words were like smoke, sliding out of his mouth in a sweet whisper and into Kallisto’s body, waking her from her sleep.

  “Duke.” She murmured, her eyes slowly opening. Instead of being bright red though, they were a clear ocean blue and all traces of coldness were gone.

  Duke’s face lit up, and he stared at Kallisto like she was a goddess come to Earth. 

  I couldn’t take it anymore though, seeing him with her, and so I left without a word. I ran, the speed I was going drying the tears on my face before they could even fall, and didn’t stop until I was home again.

  A car was parked in my driveway, a silver Acura SUV, and I felt my heart expand. The car belonged to my parents, who had probably been wondering where I was this late at night. 

  When I walked inside, both my parents grabbed me in a hug. “We were so worried! We got home and you weren’t home and-Tammy what happened to you? You look…amazing!” my mom gushed, her eyes twinkling. 

  I smiled, ignoring the sound of their heart beating and just trying to be normal for now. “I’m sorry, I just was with…with a friend,” I answered back, and hugged her again. 

  My dad just stood there studying me, until my mom looked at him sharply. “Your dad and I have many stories to tell you!” she exclaimed, and my dad said nothing, just stared at me with his cold eyes. 

  Hours later, the sun just rising, I was lying in bed with a smile. I may not have Duke, but at least for now my parents were home again. And I planned not to get out of bed until Monday, when I had to go to school. All this action tonight had left me completely drained of energy. 

  It took me almost a minute before I lulled myself into a deep, coma like sleep.