Defending Hearts

by Shannon Stacey

  They talked for a while longer, covering a little bit of everything, until Gretchen noticed the server was going around the room with the coffeepot again.

  “Do we want another refill?” She rarely said no to more coffee, but they’d both already had quite a bit.

  “I don’t know. What time is Ida supposed to be home today?”

  “She said it wouldn’t be until late, probably even after dark. They’ll be at the craft show most of the day, and they’ll want to have supper before they hit the road.”

  “So we could feasibly go back to bed for a couple of hours if we don’t spend all day in town.”

  Gretchen grinned and put her folded-up napkin in her empty mug to signal that she was done. “I think I’ve had enough coffee.”

  —

  Because they’d gotten distracted the night before and Ida was due home anytime, Alex volunteered to help Gretchen clean the kitchen. After spending the bulk of the afternoon in his bed, they’d thrown a quick meal together before helping each other shower.

  But the clock was ticking on their alone time and Ida wasn’t going to be impressed to come home to two meals’ worth of dirty dishes sitting in the sink. She was laid-back about many things, but dishes in the sink was not one of them.

  “You really don’t have to help, you know,” Gretchen said. “There aren’t that many.”

  “Then we’ll be done that much faster. I’ll wash and you dry.”

  “You always wash.”

  “I hate drying and putting away. And you hate washing, so why are you complaining?”

  “I wasn’t complaining. Just an observation.” She took the first mug he washed out of the drainer and ran the towel over it. “Speaking of observations, you’ve spent a lot of time digging into people’s lives since you got here. Even mine, actually, since I never talk about my parents but ended up telling you all about them. You have this great ability to get people to open up to you, but you don’t say much about yourself.”

  “People don’t really ask. And if they did ask, it wouldn’t require digging. I’m pretty much an open book.” He thought about what she’d said for a second. “And I’ve told you things. I don’t think anybody else in Stewart Mills knows I gained so much weight after football that I was extremely unhealthy and have to watch my diet. Not even Chase.”

  “I know you were married once. You never really talk about that.”

  His divorce wasn’t something he was ashamed of, but it wasn’t something he was really proud of, either. “Do most people just go around talking about their ex-spouses? Failed marriages don’t usually make for great dinner conversation.”

  “Maybe not, but, like I said, you know more about me than I usually tell people. So you and your ex-wife didn’t have kids?”

  He looked at her, a little hurt she didn’t give him more credit than that. “No kids. If I had children, they would definitely have come up in conversation. And I should point out you haven’t told me about your romantic past, either, so it’s not like I’m being secretive. It’s just not something people randomly talk about.”

  “I’ve dated. I have yet to meet a man I want to keep who doesn’t mind the idea of living on a farm. So we spend some time together and then, when it’s run its course, we move on, and that’s my relationship history in a nutshell. See? Not worth talking about.”

  It bothered him that she was so casual about it, though it took him a moment to realize why. Their relationship fit that pattern, too, so it was only a matter of time before he became somebody not worth talking about to Gretchen. It hurt him a little to think that someday she’d be as nonchalant about him as she was about the other men in her past.

  “Did you meet your wife at college?” she asked.

  “No. I met my ex-wife at a gallery showing of my work in Philadelphia. She’s a lawyer and she stopped in with some coworkers because she liked a photo I’d taken in Hawaii and wanted to know which island it was.”

  “So you already traveled a lot when you started dating her? It seems like it would be different if you’d started your career after you got together, but she knew what she was signing up for.”

  He nodded. “She knew, but I guess she thought I would cut back when we got married. I never said that to her, but I think she built a new life for us in her head and didn’t share it with me, so I never had the chance to agree or disagree.”

  “Did she ever travel with you? I mean, not when you went somewhere dangerous, but if you were doing photos for travel magazines or whatever.”

  He washed the last plate and pulled the plug before rinsing the soap away and setting it in the drainer. “She did once, when I was going to the Caribbean and she had some vacation time to burn. But she had her own career, and following me around the world wasn’t going to help her climb the law firm’s ladder.”

  Gretchen put the last dish in the cabinet and hung the towel through its loop. “How long did you plan to do the long-distance thing?”

  He shrugged. “I don’t know. We lived in Philly, which isn’t hard to get flights in and out of, so I was probably home more often once we got married than I had been in the past. I probably would have cut back when it was time to start a family, but that wasn’t something in the cards for her until she felt secure in her career.”

  “Well.” She gave him a small smile. “I’m sorry it didn’t work out.”

  “I guess if it had worked out, being here with you would be a whole lot more awkward.”

  “True. Hey, we finished just in time.”

  He heard the car a few seconds before its headlights splashed through the living room windows, and he hoped the momentary disappointment he felt didn’t show on his face. As much as he liked Ida and Cocoa, he’d really enjoyed having some alone time with Gretchen.

  By the time they got outside, Cocoa had already been set free and she ran to greet them. Once she’d received some affection and a high five from each of them, she set out to sniff every blade of grass in the yard to make sure nothing had changed.

  Alex carried in Ida’s bag while the women chatted, then made another trip for Cocoa’s bag and the leftover food Ida had brought for her. There was also a large bag of yarn with Ida’s name written on it, so he grabbed that, too.

  “I had the most wonderful time,” Ida said when her friends had gone and they were all inside. “So did Cocoa. She was so funny playing with those golden retrievers. I wish they lived closer so the dogs could have playdates.”

  Alex looked at Cocoa, who had immediately gone to her pillow in the corner and collapsed on it as though Ida had made her walk every square inch of the city. “She definitely burned off some energy.”

  “It’s good to get out once in a while,” Ida said. “But I think we’re both glad to be home.”

  “I’m glad you had a good time, Gram. Was it crowded?”

  “It was very crowded, but I met a lot of nice people. I gave out a lot of those business cards we printed up, with the picture of the sweater set on the back, and I got two orders before I even left.”

  “That’s great, Ida. As the holidays get closer, you might actually have to turn people away.”

  “I hope not. I knit pretty fast, but I don’t want to sacrifice quality. I’ll just see how it goes.”

  She looked excited and hopeful, but he could also see how tired she was. She’d probably stayed up too late, talking with her friends, and then topped it off with a long walk around the convention center today. Gretchen looked tired, too, but for an entirely different reason.

  Alex leaned back against the couch and let the two women talk. His mind returned to the conversation with Gretchen about his marriage to Laura, wondering what had prompted the question.

  She’d seemed particularly interested in how he thought his profession had been a factor, but maybe that was his imagination. Her comments about her relationship history had
made it clear she didn’t have any problem with enjoying him for now, and then putting him out of her mind.

  It stung a little, but it also eased his mind. He’d enjoyed having sex with Gretchen even more than he’d anticipated, and he already wanted to do it again. Even if being disposable bugged him on some level, knowing she didn’t have a habit of romanticizing things actually made it easier, because he didn’t have to worry about any hurt feelings when it was time for him to leave.

  “It’s going to be nice to sleep in my own bed tonight,” Ida announced, pushing up out of her rocking chair. “I think I’m going to let Cocoa out one last time and then go upstairs.”

  “I’ll carry your bag up and put it outside your door,” Alex told her.

  After he did that, he went back downstairs just in time to say good night to Ida and Cocoa. And then to Gretchen, who announced she was turning in a little early, too. He told them he’d lock up and watched them all go up the stairs, smiling at the way they talked right up until they parted ways at their bedrooms.

  He went through the house, locking both doors and turning lights off, and then went upstairs to a bed that felt a lot more cold and lonely than it had just two nights before.

  —

  On Monday, Gretchen had to run into town to pick up a prescription for Gram at the pharmacy. The doctor had been impressed with her lower blood pressure, so he was making a few adjustments to her medications.

  Since she was already in town, she decided to pop over to the high school and see Jen. She’d be in her office, as would most of the staff as they geared up for the start of the school year.

  The secretary told Gretchen to go ahead back to Jen’s office, where she found the door to the guidance office standing open. Jen had her head bent over a document and was rubbing her temple as she read.

  “School hasn’t even started yet and you have a headache?”

  Jen looked up, then dropped her hands to the desk. “You have no idea. The kids start a week from tomorrow, but I swear there are new rules and new paperwork every year. I could literally move into this office and work twenty-four hours a day and still never be done.”

  Even though Jen was one of the very lucky members of the administration who had a window in the ancient brick school, it sounded like Gretchen’s worst nightmare. “Hopefully the fall will be a little easier than the spring was since you can hold playing football over their heads again.”

  “Some of them. Others? It’s all I can do to keep some of them coming to school on a regular basis, and I know they’re going to drop out as soon as they find jobs. Sometimes I think it’s time to move to a big city and get a job at some giant high school.”

  “I think you’d have even more stuff on your desk. It would just be a different kind of stuff. And it doesn’t matter how many kids there are. You’ll care about all of them.”

  “True.” Jen sighed and leaned back in her chair. “Sit down. Tell me what you’re up to.”

  “I had to pick up something for Gram, so I thought I’d pop in and say hi. See what’s going on besides back-to-school craziness.”

  Jen shrugged. “This time of year, it’s mostly just about work. What’s happening out on the farm?”

  “Work.” She smiled. “A little bit of playing.”

  “Really? So this taking-in-a-boarder thing is really working out for you.”

  Gretchen laughed. “I’d like to think it wouldn’t have worked out the same way with just any random stranger. But I’m enjoying having Alex around. For now.”

  “For now. That’s what Kelly said, too.”

  The situations were entirely different, but Gretchen didn’t bother pointing that out. Everybody could think whatever they wanted to. “Speaking of Kelly, was Chase home this weekend?”

  “It took her an hour and a half to answer my text on Saturday, so I’m guessing he was.” Jen picked up a pen and started doodling in the margins of a notepad. “Alex and Chase stay in touch now, don’t they?”

  “Yeah. Maybe not a lot, but I know they had lunch together a while back. And Alex mentioned a text from him about something.”

  “That’s good. That they reconnected while they were here in town for Eagles Fest, I mean. Do you know if he stays in touch with any of the others?”

  Like Sam Leavitt? “I don’t really know.”

  “I was just curious.” She was doodling so hard, Gretchen was surprised she didn’t rip the paper.

  “You know you can talk about him, Jen. To Kelly and me, I mean.”

  “I don’t want to talk about him.” She sighed and tossed the pen down. “When we . . . that night, it was an unplanned, heat-of-the-moment kind of thing, and when you’re not planning to have sex, precautions aren’t always taken.”

  When Jen paused, Gretchen assumed she was supposed to say something awesomely supportive and knowledgeable, but all she had was “Oh, no.”

  “I got very lucky,” Jen continued. “I got a phone call from my doctor last week with the last follow-up. I tested negative for anything and everything that can be tested for.”

  Relief made Gretchen sag against the back of the chair. “Oh, I’m so glad.”

  “I guess if I was going to have stupid, reckless sex one time in my life, I picked the right time of the month and the right guy. Clean and never to be seen again.”

  “Yeah. Don’t do that again, because that might be like winning the unprotected-sex lottery. You don’t want to tempt fate too much.”

  “I know.” Jen looked at her and smiled almost reluctantly. “It was so very freaking hot, though. That’s the part that really pisses me off.”

  “Very-freaking-hot sex pisses you off?”

  “Yes, it does. I’ve had good sex before. I’m not really shy about making sure it’s good for me. But Sam . . . It’s so unfair that he rolls into town, sets the sex bar incredibly high for the rest of my life, and then rolls back out again.”

  Gretchen sighed. “So now your qualifications are handsome, intelligent, financially secure and better in bed than Sam Leavitt?”

  “Yeah. So the good news is that I’ll never make you wear an ugly bridesmaid dress.”

  “You need to take those expectations down a notch. Or maybe you can come live at the farm and we can grow old together.”

  “You really don’t think you and Alex will go anywhere?”

  “Alex is going to go lots of places, but without me. That’s just the way it is.”

  Jen gave her a sad look. “I wish it was different, because he seems like a really great guy.”

  “He is a really great guy. Just not the right guy for me.” When Jen’s phone buzzed indicating she had an incoming call, Gretchen jumped at the chance to get away from this conversation. “I’ll let you get that. If you see Kelly, tell her I said hi.”

  Jen waved with one hand while she picked up the receiver with the other. Gretchen made her way through the maze of offices to the exit and breathed in the warm fresh air. Being cooped up in that school all day had been torture for her as a kid, and she didn’t like being in the building any more as an adult.

  After picking up Gram’s medicine, she decided to run into the market for a few things. And more grapes. She didn’t think she’d ever seen anybody go through as many grapes as he did, and now he had her and Gram hooked on them, too. If this pumpkin thing ever went south, maybe she’d turn the field into a vineyard and grow her own damn grapes.

  12

  Gretchen finished brushing the last of the three horses with a relieved sigh. She’d taken them each for a short ride, just for a change of scenery, and the switching of the saddle each time wasn’t fun for her back.

  “You won’t be with me much longer, guys,” she said as she secured the stall. Cinnamon snorted and tossed her head, so Gretchen moved down to her stall to give her a nose rub. “I know you like being with the kids. Soon, doll. I promi
se.”

  “Do they ever come ride them?” Alex asked from behind her, and Gretchen spun around.

  “Don’t sneak up on me like that.”

  “Sorry. I just assumed you heard me.”

  “No, I didn’t. And they haven’t been up very much this summer. To be honest, I don’t know why they don’t just leave the horses down south. They used to come up a lot more often, but the older the kids get, the busier their lives seem to be. Did you need something?”

  “Nope.” He stepped closer to her, his intent suddenly clear in his eyes. “Just visiting.”

  “I was going to check the pumpkins next. Make sure the rain we had last night was enough for them.”

  “Have you ever had sex in the hayloft?”

  Well, that certainly got her attention. “Is this some kind of farm girl fantasy of yours?”

  He hooked a finger in the front of her jeans and tugged her forward. “Must be one of those weird proclivities your grandmother was worried about.”

  “Okay, but despite what it might look like in movies, hay is not actually very soft.”

  “So what you’re saying is that I need to smuggle a blanket out of the house.”

  “A blanket would be nice, yes.”

  “I’ll be right back.”

  Gretchen stared after him, unable to believe he was actually going in to get a blanket. It was almost the middle of the day, for goodness’ sake. And how was he going to explain trying to smuggle out a blanket? He couldn’t really shove it down his pants.

  Sure she’d seen the last of Alex for a while, she finished up cleaning up and was just about to leave the barn when he stepped back inside and pulled the door closed behind him.

  Under one arm was a folded-up quilt, and dangling from his other hand was a wicker basket.

  “You have to be kidding me.”

  He grinned. “I can be enterprising when I need to be. I told Ida the light was perfect to get some shots of you out in the field and I wanted to walk, but then I very sadly realized it was too close to lunchtime.”