The Nanny's Plan

by Donna Clayton

  She raised her lids and lifted her gaze to his, her heart pounding, her blood slogging through her veins.

  “Tell me—” He was so close, she felt his warm breath against her cheek as he spoke. “Have you ever had anything more luscious than forbidden fruit?”

  Her breath left her in a sigh, and she thought she’d faint dead away from the weight of the wanton carnality that washed through her body.

  As if trapped in a hazy dream, she released her shielding hold on her forearms and splayed her palms on his chest. Then she lifted her face, rose on her toes and captured his mouth with hers.

  In that very instant, Amy learned something astounding.

  There really was nothing in the entire universe that tasted as sweet as the forbidden fruit that was his kiss.

  When she pulled away from him, their lips parted with a soft, wet smack that made her grin. The scent of him floated around her like a sheer veil. The heat emanating from the solid mass of him made her feel cozy.

  But then she blinked, and the fogginess that had warped her thinking began to clear. Her inhalation was shaky. She knew that the passion that had confined her had made her weak; however, she was also shocked that she hadn’t fought it harder.

  Attempting to step back, she felt the handle of the refrigerator door press into her back. She edged her face from him.

  “Pierce—”

  “I know, I know.”

  Something in his voice had her lifting her gaze to his. Emotion swam in his eyes. Remnants of need, disbelief, even remorse.

  She took another breath, this one deeper, stronger.

  He said, “I know we weren’t supposed to let that happen.” He cleared his throat. The chuckle he emitted didn’t seem to hold any humor, and the tension in his handsome face didn’t ease. “I guess I should apologize. Although, if I did, it wouldn’t be all that sincere. But I think you’re well aware of that.”

  She searched his gaze, uncertain of what he expected her to say to that remark.

  “So I think the thing to do—” he picked up the dessert plates that he’d placed on the counter “—is to try to act as if it hadn’t happened at all.”

  He turned then and walked away from her.

  In the solitude of the kitchen she was bombarded by a mass of confusing emotions. Common sense was telling her he was right, yet at the same time her body and her heart were bellowing to be heard. She suspected—heck, she knew as surely as she knew her own name—that Pierce was experiencing the very same desires she was.

  Just how long could the two of them continue to ignore these logic-crushing physical urges? And these irrational emotions?

  The night was muggy; however, the wispy breeze blowing across the bay was just enough to allow Amy to enjoy the quiet. Translucent clouds scudded high overhead, diffusing the moonlight into a ghostly glow.

  Okay, so she was hiding. At least she wasn’t kidding herself. With the boys settled in their sleeping bags on the living-room floor, their favorite movies loaded into the DVD player, an abundance of snacks set about for their enjoyment, Amy had grown panicky about how she would spend the hours before her own bedtime.

  Not wanting a repeat of the sweltering moments she’d spent with Pierce in the kitchen at dinner, she’d brought a paperback out to the shore and had settled on the grass to read. However, the spectacular sunset had been awe inspiring, and she’d set the book aside. The heavens had turned a thousand different shades of mauve before slowly growing inky.

  And still she sat hugging her knees to her chest as she stared out across the black expanse of water.

  The calmness in her spirit had been purposely instilled. Chaos hovered at the very edges of her consciousness, but she held it at bay.

  How was she going to survive four more weeks under the same roof with Pierce when the attraction between them absolutely refused to go away? It also refused to be disregarded.

  She’d survived this long, and she would endure her remaining weeks here with the boys. Here with Pierce. The thought had barely registered in her brain when doubt heaped itself onto her shoulders like shovels of hot coals.

  Footsteps brushing though the thick grass behind her had her twisting toward the house.

  “There you are.” Pierce carried two tall glasses. “I brought you some iced tea,” he told her. He stopped just a foot from where she sat. “Mind if I join you?”

  She did mind.

  “Of course not.” To answer any other way would have gone against all the good manners her father had instilled in her.

  He handed her one of the glasses and then squatted down onto the grass beside her. Condensation had formed on the outside of the tumbler, cold and wet against her fingers.

  “It’s hot out here.”

  Was that accusation she heard in his observation? Surely he was letting her know that he realized she was suffering the heat in order to hide from him.

  But that was silly. How could he know? Hopefully, her self-consciousness had her imagining things.

  Amy tried not to sound too defensive when she told him, “There’s a breeze that kicks up every so often.” Luckily, at that instant a light, humid waft of air swept across her cheek. “See? It’s not all that bad.”

  She cast him a sidelong glance and saw that his mouth had twisted wryly. Tipping up her glass, she took a swallow. The cold, refreshing tea almost made her moan aloud.

  “You’ve been hiding.”

  She nearly choked. Her whole body flamed with humiliation. He’d hit the nail right on the head. And worse yet, she’d been sitting out here feeling sticky and damp, all the while trying to convince herself it was a nice summer evening. Well, she didn’t have to ‘fess up entirely.

  He turned his head toward her, his sexy green eyes demanding an answer.

  A small groan issued from the back of her throat, then she confessed with a small, silent nod.

  “There’s no need, you know. I told you I’d ignore it.”

  She sat perfectly still.

  Then he looked out at the horizon, where the soft night met the inky sea. He muttered, “But it sure is determined not to be ignored.”

  She knew perfectly well what he said was true.

  “In fact, it seems to be growing stronger with each passing day.”

  Hadn’t she just come to that same conclusion herself?

  Silence settled around them like the night.

  Finally he nestled his glass of tea on the neatly trimmed lawn. “I’ve really enjoyed having you here. I think you know that.” Potent emotion condensed his tone when he added, “I like you, Amy. A lot.”

  Panic had her heart puttering a staccato beat.

  “You truly are an amazing woman. You’re beautiful and—”

  Skepticism elicited a most unladylike grunt from her that cut the rest of his thought short. She sensed that he teetered on the edge of being offended by her reaction.

  “I’m serious. You’re a striking woman, Amy. You thought that rouge and fancy face paint, those tailored clothes, were what made you enticing to me.”

  If the moment hadn’t been so serious, she’d have smiled at his description of eye shadow and foundation, brow pencil and lipstick: the tools that helped her look professional.

  “The attraction that I’ve felt for you,” he continued, “only increased when you stopped wearing all that…stuff. We discovered that already. Talked about it, too.”

  She had hoped that her transformation would block the allure that vibrated between them. But she had quickly seen that she’d been sadly mistaken. He’d wanted her anyway.

  And even though she’d fought it tooth and nail, the attraction she’d felt for him had never waned, but had grown and bloomed like a wild vine.

  “You should know that the fascination I’ve found in you has much more substance to it than mere physical attraction. That part of the discovery we’ve never discussed. We haven’t had the guts to talk about—to identify—what this thing between us really is.”

  Her s
pine straightened at his proclamation, every nerve on red alert. First, she couldn’t believe he’d find her in the least fascinating, and second, he was telling her his emotions ran deeper than the physical level.

  Unnerved by what he’d revealed, she pointed out, “But we shouldn’t be talking about this. Not since we’ve decided to ignore it.”

  He frowned. “But I need you to know that you’ve taught me things about myself.”

  She felt her eyes widen, but she succeeded in suppressing the magnitude of her surprise.

  “I believe you’re right that I’m not so much like my father.” He smoothed his fingers over his lower jaw. “I do love my work. It excites me and I thrive on it. But all the while that Benjamin and Jeremiah have been here my thoughts have kept turning to the boys at odd moments during the day. I wonder what they’re doing. What they’re getting into. What they’re discovering. And I can’t wait to see them each evening to hear all about their experiences. And I suspect that you were also correct when you said that I would only feel these things to a higher degree for children of my own.”

  His gaze latched onto hers. “I think about you, too, Amy. Throughout the day I—I wonder…I—” He pressed his lips together to cease his halting speech. His corded neck rippled in what was clearly a nervous swallow. “I can’t wait to be with you each evening to hear all about your day.” His tongue smoothed over his lips. “By dinnertime, the urge to leave the lab is so strong I just can’t fight it. My father never experienced these kinds of amazing feelings for my mom or for my sister or for me. He couldn’t have, you see, because if he had, he would never have been able to ignore them.”

  Warmth pumped through her body…through her soul. She liked the fact that she’d made him see he’d been mistaken about himself. She liked the fact that he now recognized he was kind and caring and concerned about his nephews. She also liked to hear that he wondered about her through his days in the lab, that he couldn’t wait to see her each evening. She shouldn’t like it, but she did.

  “Amy, I know you’ve built some big dreams for yourself.”

  He paused long enough to inhale what she surmised was a bracing breath, the apprehension in it making her heart trip in her chest.

  “But,” he continued, “do you think there might be some way for us to explore—” he waved his hand back and forth in the space between them “—this?”

  At that moment she felt as if he’d reached right into her chest and stolen her heart. The cavity behind her ribs was empty, yet she still lived and breathed. Love truly was a miracle.

  She blanched as the realization hit her with mind-numbing force.

  She loved him.

  “We might be good together,” he continued, his voice as soft as the bay breeze. “I have my work, of course. But there could be plenty of time for traveling. I go to Europe several times a year.

  “You’re a very smart woman, Amy. It’s one of the reasons I feel so attracted to you. You’re intelligent enough to figure out a way to…fit me into your future.”

  His choice of words sent her thoughts whirling into total chaos.

  He toyed with the rim of the tumbler he’d set in the grass and she was grateful that this sudden bout of apparent timidity on his part diverted his attention. It gave her time to reign in her raucous reaction to what he’d said.

  She wasn’t a smart woman. No one had ever described her as such, and no one ever would. Everyone back in her hometown of Lebo had looked down on her because of her choices. The Oblate Sisters, especially, had voiced such disappointment in her. If Pierce knew the truth—she felt her blood freeze—he’d look down on her, too.

  He lifted his gaze to hers. “We’re both intelligent people. We ought to be able to work this out.”

  Panic bubbled up like thick green goo boiling over the rim of a caldron. It gathered in her throat, threatened to scorch her esophagus like hot acid. She bit back the raging turmoil with a jerky swallow, but she knew the look she leveled on him was stone-cold.

  His green eyes shadowed with bewilderment, with hurt, even with a small flare of anger. “You’re looking at me as if I just made the most loathsome suggestion you’ve ever heard.”

  Chapter Ten

  Perception is everything.

  Amy realized how proficient she’d become at pulling the wool over Pierce’s eyes. He had no idea that she was none of the things he believed her to be. She’d succeeded in putting such a glorified slant on her story that Pierce would probably be blind to the honest truth even if she were to spell it all out for him in simple terms. Which she had no intention of doing. Ever. She couldn’t begin to contemplate the humiliation of revealing her reality.

  But now she was in deep trouble. The poor man was considering getting himself involved with a total fake. He needed to be saved from his own poor judgment.

  Portraying herself as a woman who was smart and witty and capable for a couple of months was one thing. But she could never uphold that persona—continue to sustain the perception—forever. That would be an impossible task. For anyone, let alone a know-nothing from Nowhere, U.S.A.

  “Pierce—”

  When she heard the magnitude of emotion in her tone, she clamped her mouth shut. She must retain control of herself. But she had to admit she’d never felt such conflicting feelings in all her life.

  Like warm honey, pure pleasure had rushed through her when she realized that he wanted her on more than just a physical level. She’d refused to even consider that what was between them was more complex than mere physical attraction, but he’d actually voiced it. And that had filled her with joy. However, her beautiful bliss hadn’t been able to withstand the dread that had all too quickly bubbled up from deep inside her, gritty and thought-clogging as mud.

  He perceived her forthcoming rejection—that much showed in his wounded gaze. Amy realized she’d revealed more when she’d spoken his name than she’d imagined. It grieved her to know she’d be hurting him, but as far as she could see it couldn’t be helped. A small amount of time feeling rebuffed would be much better than making the mistake of his life.

  That’s what he’d be doing if she were to agree to what he was suggesting. By denying him, she’d be rescuing him. And he wasn’t even aware of it.

  Fire sparked in his eyes. His anguish manifested itself as anger. Good, she thought. Dealing with his ire would be easier than dealing with his hurt feelings.

  “I can’t believe you’re going to reject the chance to explore what’s between us, Amy.”

  She’d love to delve into every vibe, every urge, every spark that flashed when the two of them were together. But she wouldn’t put herself in a position of having it all only to lose it once he discovered the truth.

  Facing the embarrassment of her past wasn’t an option in her mind—she respected him too much, and wanted him to continue to respect her—so she’d have to lie as she’d never lied before. She didn’t want to hurt him any more than she already had. But neither did she want to cope with the mortification that total honesty would bring.

  “That’s exactly what I’m going to do.” She could feel the muscles in her body grow tight. “You know I have things I want to do. I’m not going to ruin all that for a few heated kisses.”

  “Is that all it meant to you?”

  Disgust shadowed his handsome features like storm clouds, and she had to force herself not to flinch. Then she saw it again. Her words had hurt him, and Amy felt the icy vise of her concocted lies crushing her heart.

  “I won’t let you sit there and tell me that what we’ve felt—this thing that has ensnared us from the very beginning—is as frivolous as that.”

  She didn’t dare respond. Not until she thoroughly thought through what she wanted to say, at least.

  “I’ve learned things from you,” he said. “Things I could never have learned from anyone else.”

  The breath she’d been holding left her body soundlessly. She could only stare.

  “You made me see the truth a
bout myself, Amy. You opened up my views. Made me rethink my plans for the future. Because of you, I’ve decided that I will make a good husband. A good and loving father.”

  You will! You will! But she didn’t shout out that she agreed with him, didn’t dare show the delight his change of heart gave her.

  “Please don’t tell me that this has been a one-way street,” he said. “Please don’t say that you haven’t been touched, changed, by our time together these past weeks.”

  Annoyance tinged his tone, but she detected a heavy underpinning of entreaty.

  “Of course I’ve—” Panic cut her confession to the quick. Resolve stiffened her spine. “Look, Pierce…does any of this really matter? I’m going to be leaving here—”

  “Hell, yes, it matters!” Fiery anger flamed in his green eyes once more. “I refuse to believe I’m the only one who’s been enlightened. You were adamant that you never wanted a husband, that you never wanted children. You only came here to care for my nephews because your father asked you to. Because you’d been grounded by the airlines. But I’ve seen you with Benjamin and Jeremiah. You’ve enjoyed yourself with them. More than you expected to. They’ve stirred something in you. I’ve witnessed it.

  “And I refuse to let you deny that you have feelings for me. I saw the look in your eyes when I stroked your skin, Amy. When I kissed your lips, I felt your body come alive. When I touch you…something amazing happens.”

  She realized that her teeth were clenched tight. So were her fists. If she didn’t put some space between them, she was going to crack like a delicate robin’s egg. He would know all her secrets…and she’d be left with nothing more than his shock and his disdain.

  Pressing her fingers against the ground, she sprang to her feet. Somewhere in the haze of her panic she felt her sandal come into contact with the nearby glass, heard the sound of ice and liquid spilling on the ground.

  “I told you.” She spit out the words. “I have plans for my life. I have goals and aspirations. I explained it all to you. In clear, understandable language. I didn’t want to get involved, I said. I’m not interested in a relationship, I said.