Kinard Mythology Anthology

by Kinard Middle School

  “Cleaning Room” Myth

  By Paesh

 

  In the most appealing place in Colorado, there lived a family.

  Now this family had a mother, and her name was Fairytopiabulldog. Her children named Maile and Lexi did not want to clean their room. So Fairytopiabulldog was telling them to clean their room, and they refused to. So Fairytopiabulldog told Maile and Lexi this story.

  “Once upon a time, there dwelled two girls. Now these girls did not want to clean their room. There were clothes on the floor, their beds were not made, and all of their drawers were not closed. Now there was one corner in their room that had a hulking cardinal beanbag. Later when they were working on their homework on the giant beanbag, they felt something move. Little did they know that the beanbag was a classified passageway to tunnels that the previous owner of the house dug. Soon, the beanbag was submerging the girls in, like quicksand. They were soon tumbling down a tunnel that had four different paths to choose from. The girls looked around, wondering where they were. They chose the second tunnel to take. At the end of this tunnel, it led to a little door. The door had a lock on it, they wanted to get through the door, but they had no key. Luckily, one of the sisters knew how to pick a lock with a bobby pin. As she picked the lock, the other sister smelled something like her mother’s famous cupcakes. Later when they got through the door, they entered something like their kitchen. But the kitchen was very big. They heard giant footsteps come from the other room. The steps were very loud and obnoxious. The person who entered the kitchen was their own father! Now as the girls   started to think, they remembered a sign that said that anyone who comes down these tunnels, will shrink. They were as small as ants! They thought that being small was an amazing experience! They watched as the door as the secret tunnel closed shut. They were walking around their kitchen, when their bloodhound dog, Masey, came and licked them off the floor, and brought them outside and onto the grass. The grass was wet, and very long, so they did not know where they were and how to get back to their house. So they just started walking back to their house where they thought where it was. Then they came across a giant creature coming closer and closer to them. Soon they were face to face with the creature. They observed the creature and tried to figure out what kind of creature it was. Then they realized that they were very close to a tarantula! They turned around and just kept running until they were tired. They then came upon a black thing. It was blacktop on a street. They did not know that it was blacktop, because they thought that it was something else-much safer than a road. So, they tried to cross the road. Many cars zoomed across the road, and one car was going way too fast, and ran over the girls.” Maile and Lexi were terrified because of the myth Fairytopiabulldog told them, so to prevent the “accident” that might happen, they decided to clean their rooms.

  The Origin of Dogball

  By Ethan Cronin

  It is night time in Pittsburgh Pennsylvania, and the dog Steelers sweet going down in to their panting mouth are about to win the super bowl.  With just one minute left in the game, all they need is a touchdown. The dog Steelers throw the ball and what is this a dark cloud catches the ball.

  All the dogs say, “WHAT THE! What was that dark cloud?”

  Only three brave dogs volunteer to go get the ball there names were cinder the third bravest, Crosby the second bravest, and Ethan the bravest out of them all.

  All of the dogs are shocked by Hades arrival with 30sec left in the game.  They don't know why he arrived. This is a giant surprise to all of the brave dogs except Crosby, Cinder, and Ethan. All of the dogs are surprised that those three dogs are going to get the ball. These three dogs are the bravest dogs out of them all.

  All of the doges say, “thank you” to all three dogs. All the dogs are thankful that those dogs are going to get the ball to finish the amazing game.

  The three dogs start to go to see hades a mean dog with the ball.

  The three dogs finally see Mt. Olympus and the three dogs nicely ask Zeus the god of lightning at the same time where hades is.

  Zeus says, “Ok I’ll tell you if you let me be in the last play on your team.”

  Crosby says, “Ok you can play in our last play.

  Zeus a nicer god says, “Yay”

  All the dogs also ask if Zeus could led the way.

  Zeus says, “Ok ill lead you the way”

  This time all of the dogs yelled yay they are all happy that Zeus would led the way.

  On the way the dogs, and Zeus they are singing a good song. Zeus and the three dogs make it to the underworld where Zeus knocks on the door.

  Hades the god of the underworld angry voice yells, “I got it.”

  Hades opens the door and asks, “What do you want.”

  Zeus says, “We want the ball for dogball so we can finish the big game.”

  Hades ask Zeus, “Why do you care about the game?”

  Zeus says, “Because I am going to play in the huge game.”

  Crosby says, “I have an idea how we can get Hades to give us the ball.”

  Zeus Asks, “How do we do that?”

  Crosby says, “We can let him play with us in the game too.”

  Hades overheard and says yes.

  The dogs grin and started on their way home. On the way home, the dogs meet many weird creatures like a matador the dogs make it to Pittsburgh and it was a month. All of the dogs are practicing. When the dogs see Hades a changed dog, Zeus, Cinder, Crosby, and Ethan, the rest of the dogs cheer for the three brave dogs arrival.  

  All of the dogs ask, “What was the dark blob that stole the ball.”

  Hades says, “That was me but I gave the ball back”

  The game has 30secs left in the game and Hades and Zeus play in the last play. Zeus is QB and on the last play Zeus throws a touchdown to Hades and he learned a very valuable  lesson that he should think of others not just him, and kindness as in sharing and getting friends and be nice to them so he could learn how to be grateful.

  Zeus’ Birthday

  By Elise Daly

  Once upon a time there were gods and goddess named Zeus, Hera, and Hermes. Zeus was the ruler of the gods and goddesses.  Hera was the queen of Olympus and Zeus’ wife. Hermes was the messenger god of Olympus.

  They lived in Olympus were all other gods and goddess lived. This happened a long time ago.

  One day, Hera and Hermes found out that Zeus’s birthday was coming up, so they decided to plan a wonderful surprise birthday party for Zeus. Zeus got suspicious and confronted Hera.

  “What’s going on right now?” Zeus demanded.

  “Nothing,” Hera said, “I have to go to a women’s only meeting in town, bye.”

  Zeus got jealous and angry because he thought Hera and Hermes loved each other, so Zeus went to see Hermes.

  “Why is Hera always with you?” Zeus hollered in a booming voice.

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about?” Hermes nervously mumbled.

  Zeus, who knew Hermes was lying, became infuriated and his face turned bright red like the flame of a candle.

  Later on, Hera told Hermes to send invitations to all gods and goddess because Hermes could fly super-fast.  

  “I don’t know if this party is such a good idea after all,”  Hermes declared,  “Zeus thinks we are dating behind his back and he was really, really furious!”

  “Oh don’t be silly,” Hera reassured Hermes, “Everything is going to work out perfectly and Zeus will be so surprised!”

  “Ok, I will send out the invitations immediately!” Hermes shouted.

  One hour later, Hermes returned after successfully delivering invitations.

  “Good, now I have a list of cake ingredient for you to pick up at the store.” Hera said.

  “No problem,” Hermes said.

  When Hermes came back from the store, Hera started baking a big, delightful cake. The cake was bigger than a car!

  “Done! I hope the cake tastes goo
d,” Hera said.

  “What flavor is it?” Hermes asked.

  “Chocolate,” Hera replied back.

  Several hours later, Hera and Hermes finished decorating Zeus’ house. All the gods and goddess started coming with presents in their hands. While they were waiting for Zeus to come, Hera was nervous because she thought Zeus would be mad at her for not informing him about the surprise party.

  “Everyone hide! Zeus is coming!” Hermes screamed.

  Zeus stomped into his house and everyone surprised him. At first, Zeus was scared.  Then, he became infuriated when he saw Hermes, and he threw his lightning bolt causing the cake to catch on flaming fire. Everyone started freaking out and screaming.

  “Oops,” Zeus said calmly.

  “Everyone calm down!” Hera said.  “Zeus, what are you thinking?  Well this is definitely one happy birthday surprise!”

  There was one god at the party named Aeolus and he was the god of wind. Luckily for the other guests, Aeolus blew out the fire on the cake, saving them all from imminent death. All of the gods and goddesses began cheering for him.

  “Thank you for saving our house.” Hera said.

  “Make a wish.” Aeolus said to Zeus.

  “I wish I would have known the truth.” Zeus announced. “I guess I’m not big into surprises.”

  All was forgiven and the party continued on well into the evening hours. Hera was able to save the cake even though some of it was burnt. Zeus and all other gods and goddess laughed and celebrated as they ate delicious, burnt chocolate cake. They were having a pleasant time.  In fact, the party was so memorable, that it was talked about for hundreds of years to come.  Everyone wanted to have candles to blow out on their birthday cake so they could remember the fun of Zeus’ 100th birthday! And so, this is how the tradition of people blowing out candles and making wishes began.  What will you do on your 100th birthday?

  The Reason We Now Have Knowledge

  By Cecilia

  Long ago, in a small village in ancient Rome, when every person alive and breathing did not have any knowledge, there lived Mary-Anne. Mary-Anne had fair skin, and beautiful, luscious, brown hair. She was a healthy girl, did all her chores, and always obeyed the rules. She spent her time drawing what she thought the rest of the world looked like, because she didn’t know for sure. She desired to know what was out there, what other people had not discovered yet.

  She lived in a decently big house packed with 25 strangers she had never even met. Lucky for Mary-Anne, half of them would bake bread, cheese, and garlic, making the house smell like a Christmas with your family. All the food was nice, but most of the people living in her broccoli greenhouse were children under six years old, which at night was horrid to try and snooze in.

  One day, the god Hades, of the underworld, saw Mary-Anne with her beautiful hair and gorgeous skin, and instantly idolized her. Mary-Anne didn’t imagine a thing, for she had only overheard of legends about interfering gods and goddesses. But each and every day Hades’ love for Mary-Anne grew stronger and stronger, until one day he couldn’t manipulate the pain of not having her anymore.

  “Apollo, my dearest friend,” said Hades, “will you be as kind as to get someone for me, please?”

  Apollo, god of light and truth, thought for a second. “Who am I to get you? Does and will this person belong in the underworld?”

  “Well,” answered Hades, “I need you to bring the finest mortal to my dwelling, Mary-Anne” Hades sighed deeply knowing that Apollo could not ever diligently bring Mary-Anne to the underworld, or he would betray Zeus the almighty. To his surprise, Apollo had an answer Hades didn’t expect.

  “I’ll attain her. But on one condition. She needs to be able to solve one of my riddles. If she gets it right, she is too great to be with you. However, if she gets the question wrong, she will go down below with you.”

  “Anything,” replied Hades, “she gives me the light to my dark and gloomy underworld. Go and set up a door and guard it. When she comes, you can ask her your question. I will lure her to the door by noon tomorrow.” It was settled. Mary-Anne would finally come to Hades.

  The next day, Mary-Anne was completing her chore of getting the water from the stream. She was nearing the stream when suddenly she mysteriously felt an urge to go off the path. Little did she know this was the aggravating work of Hades. She knew she couldn’t disobey her dear mother, but the urge was stronger and stronger every minute. Back when she was little, she used to love playing in the forest all day. So she set the pails down, and threw her oats and nuts in a trail behind her so she wouldn’t get lost in the forest.

  It seemed as if she was walking forever, and her trail was long behind her by now, for she had ran out of nuts about half an hour ago. Finally after what seemed like a century, she saw the end of the trees. The yearning to keep going was so strong, she didn’t stop and rethink it for a second. She thought she heard the sound of a sweet and softly sung lullaby, but knew it was just her imagination. But it kept getting louder, and she had to follow it.

  “Maybe I’m just hungry,” she said, “I should go back now anyways. Even though she wanted to turn around and go, her body wouldn’t let her, and she didn’t know the way back anyways. But as she kept walking, slow and steady, following her instinct, she caught a glimpse of a big, beautiful door. She looked again, and yes, it was still there.

  “Oh my,” she said. Without a second look back she started running. Running towards the big, bright, beautiful, bountiful door only a little ways away.

  She wanted to know what was behind the door. A secret garden, or a gateway to the promised land, maybe? After about five minutes of running and pondering what was behind it, she was at the door. She had not, however, become conscious of the terrible events that would take place in the future... She was about to go through it, when suddenly she heard a voice.

  “Stop!” said Apollo, holding his muscular hand out. “You mustn't go through that door until you’ve answered a question.” Mary-Anne was transfixed by the sparkle in Apollo’s eye, she never knew these gods existed. “If you answer the question correctly,” he continued, “you will go through the door and be with me. However, if you answer incorrectly, you will go down to the underworld to be with the god Hades”

  “Is that why you, a tremendous god, is coming down to the mortal dwelling?” Of course she had to get the question right, for Apollo was incredible.

  “Yes,” he answered, “are you prepared for the question?”

  “I believe I am,” replied Mary-Anne,” tell me what this oh-so-great question is, and I will answer it with all my vast knowledge.” She knew she would probably not be able to answer the challenging question, because she never had any learning, but she said she did anyway.

  “Alright,” Apollo said, “you go through the woods and see two doors. One of the doors leads to a happy afterlife in heaven, but the other door leads to a slow, painful death. Two guards are in front of each of these doors. But, one of these guards is an honest man while the other guard is a liar. What one question can you ask both the guards in order to go through the right door?” Mary-Anne had no clue what the answer could possibly be. All the answers she thought of seemed crazily wrong in her head.

  “How long do I have to answer this?” she said.

  “As long as you’re standing in front of me.” Apollo replied. Mary-Anne thought long and hard, and finally, she came up with a clever answer.

  “I think,” Mary-Anne was talking slow and detailed, her hands fiercely itching her leg, and her voice quivering, “That you would ask the question, what door I should go through. The truth teller would say one door, and the liar would say anoth- WAIT! That isn’t right!”

  “Your answer is final,” he replied, “the correct response is to ask, if I want to go through the right door, what door the other man would say to go to. The truth teller would say that the liar would go through one door, and the liar would say that the truth teller would say the same door, because he is l
ying. Then you go through the opposite door.” Before Mary-Anne could say anything back to Apollo, the ground started to tremble. It became louder and stronger every awful second she stood.

  Then, to the horror of her eyes, a massive crack in the Earth began to form, like a piece of old, dry wood, and she swore she could make out a terrifying whisper.

  “Come to me Mary-Anne,” said the voice, harsh and graveled, “come and be happy with me, down under here, with the rest of us.” With the rest of us? What was this voice saying? Was this the underworld with Hades that Apollo had told her about? She started to scream so loud, so deafening, knocking out all other sounds besides her own fear. The ground sunk deeper into the Earth’s interior, getting hot and steamy, almost to the point where all she could see was gray smoke from her boiling sweat.

  Then Mary-Anne was quickly falling into the deep pit of never-ending blackness. It seemed like forever until she finally saw something. This something wasn’t a human being, or an animal. It was a deformed blob of….Hades. Hades came closer, then eventually so close Mary-Anne could smell his rotting breath.

  “We will certainly live happy together,” said Hades, “so you better get used to it down here.

  “But. But,” stammered Mary-Anne, “I can’t!” Oh how she wish someone would save her right now. “At least grant me one wish,” she said.

  “Oh and what would that be?” Hades replied.

  “I… I want to make a school,” Mary-Anne said, shaking, “so other kids don’t have to stand you. And your awful breath” Hades looked shocked. But he agreed, out of love.

  “Alright,” he replied, “I’ll make a school in order for you to stay with me. But that’s it.”

  And so, Mary-Anne still lives with horrible Hades in the underworld, despising every day, and we still go to school so we don’t have to meet the awful Hades when we answer any tough questions.

  Myth of Chocolate

  By Georgia Ewer

  Once upon a, not very long, time ago there were two boys named Robert and Johnny were walking along and were very depressed about their day. They lived in a town named Mcland. Robert was a short person that was bullied a lot. He had sandy hair while he had blue eyes. Johnny however, was the complete opposite of Robert he was tall even for the adults and stood up for Robert a lot. Johnny had black hair and brown eyes. They both despised wheat, but they did not want to offend Demeter, the Greek goddess of harvest, so they lived with it. But, Johnny finally could not take anymore and told all his friends and family and he found out everyone, was exhausted of it and eventually they all decided to go on strike and then Zeus got involved.

  Up on Mt. Olympus Zeus had to persuade Demeter to make some new food.

  “Demeter I have something to tell you that is very crucial.” Zeus said.

  “What is it Zeus?” Demeter gradually said.

  “The townspeople,” Zeus unwaveringly said, “are on strike, because they want something else to eat. Other than your crops.”

  “What. Did. You. Just. Say?” Demeter said clenching her fists.

  “I give them food and they think it’s too good for them!” She squealed.

  Demeter looked at Zeus with an icy stare and whispered ever so quietly, “Who. Is responsible for this. This….. Outrage.”

  Zeus shifted on foot to foot uncomfortably and said “A boy named Johnny commenced it. But!” he said rapidly before she could go. “Don’t reach any hasty conclusions. He is still a boy and you shouldn’t punish him for a childish action.”

  Demeter stared Zeus straight in the eye and said, “Oh I don’t think anything here is hasty. And it does not matter who did this. All I know is that it was not childish of him and he will be punished.”

  And with that finally word she departed and went to Earth to find the boy named Johnny who had disgraced her. Back on Earth in Johnny and Roberts’s village it was a dreadful day because all the villagers had decided to not swallow any crops and everyone was starving.

  Robert and Johnny were eager to find out what the new food would be because they were sure their scheme would work. “What do you think the new food will be Johnny?” Said Robert.

  “I don’t know but I hope it’s better than our food right now. As long as it’s better than this I will be happy.” Johnny cheerfully said.

  Then it just happened that Demeter found them both right then and heard them talking.

  “So the boys just want something else eh? Well I’ll give them something else to eat.” Demeter said to herself.

  Then suddenly Johnny started turning into something else!

  “Johnny? Johnny! You are turning into……. a……… sugar plant?” Robert said in mystery.

  “Hey why are you so tall all of a sudden? Hey! Why am I smaller than you? I used to be taller! Wait a minute………….. Did you say I was a,” Johnny says as he looks at himself, “sugar plant!”

  Demeter laughed at Johnny. She appeared out of nowhere and said while laughing, “This is what you get for saying my crops are boring!”

  To Robert, Demeter seemed like an old lady at first but had transformed into a laughing goddess.

  “Oh no!” he thought, “How was he ever going to turn Johnny back into a human?” But then he had a sudden idea.

  “You’re Demeter, right? So you're mad about us not enjoying your plants, so why don’t you create something new? You could make anything possible because you are so powerful!”

  “Well, yes I could create more magnificent food, but my food is already wonderful!” Demeter said to herself more than Robert.

  But Robert heard her and used it to his advantage. He quickly thought of an idea to turn Johnny back into a person and get a new food to eat.

  “Oh well. Maybe you aren't as awesome as they all say you are.” Robert said barely containing his grin.

  “What! You dare challenge my skill?” Demeter said containing her anger.

  “Well… I guess you can turn people into plants,” Robert gestured to Johnny, “but, I now know why you don’t want to make a new food now.” he paused for effect, “You don’t have the power to.” He said with a grin.

  “You think I am feeble? OH. I will show you powerful!” Then suddenly after howling that she started whirling light all around them. BOOM! All around them was snow. Robert looked all around him for Johnny and Demeter. Finally, he spotted Johnny. He was a human again! Then there was Demeter looking like she usually does but, wait she is holding something. It was dark brown with letters engraved on the top of the chocolate.

  “Ah ha! Voila, we have ourselves a brand-new food and you said I did not have the power. HA! It is called Chocolate, it is wonderful and no one is going to get over it goodness!”  Demeter said proudly.

  “Let us be the judge of that.” Robert and Johnny said, Johnny also ecstatic to be a human again was excited to finally see what it tasted like. Demeter held it out for them to see and broke a piece off of this “Chocolate” that was so called “delicious” Robert thought. They took it from her and slowly raised to their mouths to taste. Then the dropped it inside their mouths and bite into the chocolate. It was like everything you have ever imagined in one food combined together that tastes wonderful with all of its flavors. Their words failed them as they ate the most heavenly food ever eaten. It melted into their mouths and turned into a gooey substance.

  “Wow! This is incredible!” Johnny and Robert said simultaneously.

  “What did you expect from the most marvelous god?” Demeter said.

  So, this was how chocolate was created in the very beginning.