She shuffled away, putting a little distance between them. “It’s probably—”
At the same time, he said, “The time is—”
They both chuckled softly and he waved for her to speak first.
She couldn’t hold his gaze and stared at the insignia hanging off the side of his open uniform. Yeah right. She was staring at his chest. His oh-so-broad chest. Yup, time to go. “It’s late. We should go to bed.”
Her own words registered in her brain two seconds later. She stopped before she corrected herself, not sure she didn’t mean going to bed together. Holding her breath, she decided to let the captain determine what she meant and go from there.
He gave a single nod and withdrew his tail before waving her toward the doorway. “I was going to say the same. You need rest, for I’m sure the doctors will work you hard tomorrow after missing today.”
“Probably most definitely.” She gave a nervous chuckle and preceded him out of the observatory and followed him back to his suite. She hoped he didn’t notice how stiff she was walking.
When they got to his suite, she vaguely remembered mumbling a goodbye before rushing—while not appearing to rush, she hoped—to her room. She closed the door and leaned on it with a sigh, hanging her head.
How was she supposed to act around Captain Kader now that she’d determined he was flirting?
But to what end? Did khartarns date? No way he wanted to do the happily ever after bit with her. Plus, she’d been on that rollercoaster once already. That was one time too many.
So what was this? Notching his belt, maybe? That made sense. She was new and exotic and alien. If Captain Kirk had taught her anything, it was that banging strange alien chicks was the only reason to go into space. And it didn’t upset her to think that this might be the impetus for Captain Kader’s attention.
There was no reason they couldn’t have fun together. Assuaging curiosity had its appeal. Plus, it would prepare her for living on Home World. Better to find out now if she was physically compatible with the locals, or if she would be doomed to going solo for the rest of her life.
Her thoughts were going in too many directions to follow. Dinner tonight with Captain Kader was right out. She couldn’t be sure she wouldn’t jump over the table and park herself on his lap minus both their clothes. That thought led to the realization that she was beyond horny.
She rushed to the shower to mask the sound, and hopefully the scent, of her having solo time while thinking about Captain Kader in just his boxer briefs with water cascading down his chest.
Chapter 9
What had he been thinking? Kader couldn’t believe the idiotic blunder he’d pulled the previous night. He’d openly declared his protection of Semeera in front of another as if he was seeking to mate her instead of simply copulate.
Why?
Too much had happened in rapid succession and that cemented his downfall. His blood had been rushing through his veins after pushing himself in the pool. The dull ache of long neglected muscles told the tale of how hard he’d exerted himself to impress Semeera. Three times in a row. He would have continued, no matter the pain, to keep that expression of awed wonder on her face.
There had also been lust. Unmistakable. And those in the gym had scented it just as he had, causing her embarrassment when she’d realized what their pointed attention had meant. Attention that’d had him wanting to rip his claws through each of the males who had moved closer to get a better taste of her spicy-sweet scent of arousal.
He should have guided her back to her room as she wished. The rules of courtship dictated he granted her requests without deviation. But he hadn’t wanted her to hide. Instead, he’d used her preoccupation with her embarrassment to lead her to the observatory, sure the sight would cheer her.
And it had. Distractingly so. He’d beheld nothing as beautiful as Semeera’s cute face lit up with the wonder of seeing so many stars. No, not cute. That word belonged to children and small animals. A female such as Semeera deserved to be called stunning. Her every action, every word rendered him incapable of doing anything except giving her his undivided attention.
He thought his confession had pleased her. She’d acted pleased and hadn’t objected to his tail touching her body. Though not khartarn, Semeera had to know such contact was seen as intimate—highly intimate. He’d had to fight against releasing his musk, knowing it wouldn’t work on her but instinct urging him forward.
Even if it wouldn’t work, he hadn’t wanted her to smell it and ask why he was giving it off. Her sense of smell may not be as acute as his, but scenting musk didn’t need high acuity. That reaction, however, was at issue.
Musk was for mating. Couples used it to mark each other each time they came together, subtly changing their scents so others knew they were in a committed relationship. Mating could never happen with Semeera. Would never happen. His interest in her was mere curiosity. He wanted a purely copulation-based relationship to curb the desire that had only grown when she moved into his suite.
Every evening since she started residing with him, he’d had to take himself in hand first, just so he could sit across the table from her at dinner. And again afterward, to sate the renewed lust her nearness triggered.
And every evening she chipped away a little more at his warrior’s control. That explained why he had confessed himself to her last night. He’d told her things no other being knew. Things he hadn’t even admitted to himself. But laying himself bare had brought her closer to him.
He’d thought.
So why then had she hidden from him last evening, taking dinner in her room and refusing to speak to him when he inquired after her mood? Could he have been mistaken in thinking her desire matched his? Or possibly what he perceived as lust was merely friendship for her people?
He ran through everything they’d said to each other in the observatory. The bulk of the conversation had come from him. All of Semeera’s replies had been… comforting. Sympathetic. Words one would use with a friend to convey support. Even the way she’d held his arm could be seen as a gesture of friendship, not sexual interest.
And the scent of her lust… Maybe he’d made a mistake, like on the day they’d met. He’d mistakenly seen requests for copulation in her round pupils and hunger noises. The scent he assumed was desire could be something else entirely.
What if humans used a scent similar to lust to attract a protector? Semeera marveled at his strength and was impressed when he displayed it. She’d clung to him in the elevator for safety—something he’d enjoyed, which was why he’d taken her the roundabout way while walking to entice her into using the elevator again. On more than one occasion she’d said how safe she felt with him, which had been a point of pride until now.
Nothing in her manner had spoken of desire for sex. Not in a way that couldn’t be interpreted as something else.
Kader growled his frustration as he left his ready room, stormed through the bridge, and boarded the elevator, headed to the infirmary. He’d been an idiot not to explain his intent, instead hiding it behind a flowery confession that was unlike him. Blunt and straightforward was how he approached life. There could be no confusion then.
With a khartarn female, he would have declared his courtship the moment it started. He’d been too uncertain of spooking Semeera to afford her the same courtesy. She was not so skittish. He knew that now. She would either accept his courtship or not. At least then, he would know how to proceed.
Kader used the short distance between the elevator and the infirmary to bring his chaotic emotions under control and reassert his usual stoic calm. He entered the room and immediately looked to the bed where Semeera usually sat.
She wasn’t there.
“Captain Kader,” Quagid said with cool acknowledgement.
“Where is Artist Sssemeera?”
“Not here. She came briefly this morning to retrieve a concoction Doctor Gyan had made for her and to inform us she wouldn’t be present today. Again.” Blatant
censure coated Quagid’s words.
Kader left the infirmary quickly, not interested in teaching Quagid his place when more important matters concerned him.
Semeera had skipped visiting the infirmary. Had his blunder made her withdraw?
The question spooked him enough that he ran the rest of the way to his suite. He ignored the guard he startled with his hasty arrival and went to Semeera’s room. Reining in his unease, he knocked as softly as he could.
“Come in, Captain Kader.” Her voice sounded normal, if a bit muffled.
Kader entered her room and found her sitting at the vanity he’d bought for her.
Semeera had a towel draped over her shoulders, another across her lap, still another on the floor behind her, catching the drips from her wet hair as she twisted one of the rope-like strands. Her gentle smile surprised him.
She wasn’t upset or angry.
“I’m doing my hair.”
He cocked his head to the side as he watched her dab a clear liquid close to her scalp and then smooth down the hairs of one strand before twisting it. “Is this how your hair becomes rope?”
“Yup. You can watch if you want. Just don’t tell Doctor Gyan. I don’t want him pouting at me.” She chuckled. “I told him I would show him how I did my hair if he got me holding gel.” She pointed to the small jar of clear gel she was dabbing on her hair. “But then I didn’t feel like subjecting myself to an audience, so I grabbed it and ran.”
“Doctor Quagid said as much.”
“Is that why you’re here? Did he tell on me?”
“No, I… worried last evening upset you more than I realized, causing you to forego visiting the infirmary in favor of seclusion.”
“Oh.” Semeera lowered her hands and her shoulders sagged.
“Artist Sssemeera—”
“Captain Kader—”
They both stopped and Kader waved her to go first.
After a deep breath, she swiveled on her stool so she faced him. “I need to apologize about yesterday.”
What? Apologize? She’d done nothing wrong.
He didn’t voice his confusion, standing in his regular silence until she finished speaking.
“I spent the evening listening to books about khartarn culture.” She huffed and rolled her eyes. “Khartarn relationships, I mean. I didn’t realize I was committing a major breach of etiquette by continually touching you the way I was. Grabbing your arm.”
Kader forced himself to say nothing and not to emote in any way.
“There’s really no excuse. I should have listened to that book first when you gave me all the cultural information for acclimation. I don’t know why I thought anything else was more important than interpersonal relationships when I’m staying in your guest room.” She bowed her head, making her hair fall forward so droplets of water rained close to his feet. “Forgiveness. I didn’t mean to cause you discomfort or give the wrong impression.”
The strain in her voice and the tension in her shoulders ended Kader’s intention to declare himself. He said in a measured tone, “You have no need to apologize, Artist Sssemeera. I understood when I offered you a room that we would have misunderstandings. I hold none against you.”
She stiffened.
Why had he said it like that? As if she’d committed more faults than the one she apologized for now? She hadn’t. He had. The anger he felt now was with himself, not her. He’d read her cues wrong. Again!
Kader backed up a step. “Now that I’m assured you are well, I must return to my duties.” He turned to the door only to stop himself and turn back. “I have a task that will last through dinner. Forgiveness for not eating with you this night.”
“Sure. No problem. Just make sure to eat.”
“I will. Have a good rest of day, Artist Sssemeera.” He nodded to her and continued on.
“Oh, wait. Captain Kader?”
He returned but stamped down the hopeful feeling that she’d changed her mind. “Yes?”
“I have that list for the supplies I need to create the picture you wanted. Or rather the guard has it. She wrote it down for me.”
“I shall retrieve it from her and have them delivered with the next transport arrival.”
“Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.” He nodded to her again and left, quicker this time.
Outside his suite, he stopped only long enough to instruct the guard to send Semeera’s list to his tablet and then continued on. But his destination wasn’t the bridge.
He went to the hangar.
“Captain on deck!”
He ignored the saluting crewmen to stalk to his fighter.
“Captain, the time hasn’t re—”
Kader rounded on the male who spoke, letting out a rumbling hiss and slamming his tail so hard he broke a floor panel.
The male and several others backed up quickly, wide-eyed and frightened.
He boarded his fighter, slammed the cockpit shut, and sat there. Brooding. Pouting. Once again, he was doing those things no warrior ever should. Knowing that, he became even angrier because he couldn’t stop himself.
His courtship had ended. His curiosity was not assuaged. His body still yearned for a release it would never receive. Not with Semeera. And the thought of expending his lust with another made his mind rebel.
He wanted Semeera. He needed Semeera. She belonged to him.
A possessive beast clawed at his insides, raging to be set free to claim what was his. Kader fought against the instinct. Semeera wasn’t khartarn. She couldn’t be his. Not like that. Not as a mate.
The beast wasn’t listening. Didn’t care.
Kader strapped on his harness as a physical way of holding the beast at bay. Something was wrong with him. Whatever this urge, it had quickly gone past his simply wanting sexual release.
Semeera twisted five more locs before she slammed her hands down on the vanity, making the contents on the top rattle. “Fuck!”
Why hadn’t she listened to that damn book on the first fucking day!? Why!?
She’d genuinely thought she and Captain Kader had a thing going and wanted it to happen. But he had only been responding to her perceived interest, which he never would have known about if she hadn’t spent yesterday wearing her lust like a cheap perfume. Not that she could smell it. But obviously Captain Kader and several others had.
Semeera tackled her hair, needing the distraction from her own stupidity and the fact that Captain Kader was now avoiding her.
He’d tried to hide that fact behind some sudden task that would keep him busy through dinner, but she knew better. He must have forgotten telling her he had next to nothing to do on this ship except to be there. There was no duty. There was just him wanting to be some place she wasn’t.
And what did that say about her that he would abandon his own suite rather than just shutting himself in his room to get away from her?
Maybe instead of waiting for him to kick her out, she should just move herself back into the infirmary. Doctor Gyan would love that. He would also ask why. A question she didn’t want to answer, let alone think about.
Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.
She kept up the litany of self-abuse for the next hour while she finished her hair. After drying it, exhaustion set in. She’d had a restless night. Personal time in the shower had lasted way longer than she’d expected, with her climaxing over and over yet still wanting to climax some more.
Her legs had been wobbly and her fingers sore when she finally felt sated enough to do anything else. An urge like that had never hit her before, and she hoped it never did again. It must have been from too much excitement and from being overwhelmed by the stars. Not to mention the dry spell that had lasted for months, thanks to her divorce.
And when Captain Kader had knocked on her door to let her know dinner was there, she’d rushed out, grabbed her plate, gave some crap excuse about being tired, and ran for it while hoping he didn’t catch the scent of her shower fun time. Hiding had led to r
esearch that had led to her current predicament. If she hadn’t listened to that book, she could have continued playing the blissful ignorance card and gotten some sweet alien lizardman loving.
“You’re an idiot, Semeera. You know that, right?”
She gave in to the nap that wanted her to take it. A few hours later, she did more ill-advised studying on khartarn relationships while waiting for dinnertime to roll around.
True to his word, Captain Kader didn’t show. And the single serving on the delivery tray said he’d also let the cook know he wouldn’t have his meal at home.
Semeera tried not to be insulted about that. She’d told him to be sure to eat. He couldn’t eat if his food was in the same suite he was avoiding.
Her gaze strayed to the closed door of his room. Curiosity got her up out of her chair and through his door.
“Seriously?”
She’d hoped his ready room was an exception, not the rule. Captain Kader’s bedroom had the bare essentials. Not a single decorative anything. His bed was even made with military corners—sharp tucked edges. Just seeing that made her want to mess it up.
The thought ran around her head, gained speed, and then burst forth in a giggle as she launched herself at the pristine mattress. She landed with a bounce and more giggling, rolling on his bed, and hoping he smelled her when he got back.
In fact, she should masturbate on his bed. Grind on his pillow. Make damn sure he couldn’t help but smell her. It would serve him right. Where the hell did he get off getting her all hot and bothered and then acting like it was nothing but a misunderstanding they should pretend hadn’t happened?
She’d hoped her apology would lead to some no-harm-no-foul solution where they kept going forward with the mutual scratching of itches. Nope. Not Captain Kader. He hit the brakes and reversed so hard there should have been skid marks on the floor.
And why did she get the feeling she’d fucked up by speaking first? Captain Kader had sought her out for a reason and had appeared a little flustered when he came into her room. It would be just her luck if her need to set things straight had been the reason they were all out of whack now.
Alien Mate Experiment Page 11
