Grizzly Secret (Arcadian Bears Book 3)

by Becca Jameson

  It wasn’t until they’d come together three times that they finally spoke out loud. Not that it was necessary. They were so in tune with each other that every thought leaked into the other’s head as they made love. As Nature intended. He shuddered, considering how much more powerful that connection would be after they bound themselves together.

  Alton smiled, leaning his forehead against the palm of his hand.

  Damn, she was hot. He knew she worked out several times a week. And it showed. She had the finest body he’d ever set eyes on. All lean muscles, long legs, and strong biceps.

  His mouth watered. He gripped the pen so hard it snapped out of his hand and went flying across his office.

  Of course, when he wasn’t at work, he also spent most of his time working out. What else was there to do when the person you wanted to be with was off limits?

  And the number of hours the two of them worked was equally ridiculous. Jos was totally not a morning person, but he knew she stayed later than nearly everyone. She accomplished more in the dark. Always had. Even at U of C, she would stay up late doing homework or a project.

  The desire to bind together was constantly at the surface. It was an inexplicable pull that no shifter could deny. And yet, they had. For far too long.

  And it was time to figure out his shit and claim his woman before they both needed to be institutionalized for insanity.

  Chapter Six

  Joselyn burst into the clearing high in the mountains at a pace that would put most grizzlies to shame. When she spotted Alton in his bear form next to the entrance to their small cave, she stopped moving.

  His natural unshifted form was gorgeous. Thick dark fur. Huge brown eyes. He cocked his head, making her smile inside.

  She inched closer, trying not to appear too eager, though she had no idea why she bothered. When they were nose to nose, in silent agreement, without having exchanged thoughts, they leaned back and shifted to their human form. It took only seconds to stretch out their bodies, elongate, rise onto two legs, and will themselves to take the shape of humans.

  “Fuck it’s cold out here,” Alton said as he tugged his coat open and reached to pull Joselyn against the warmth of his chest.

  Immediately she calmed. It soothed her to be in his arms. The stress and insanity of the rest of her life evaporated the moment he wrapped his arms around her.

  When his lips landed on the top of her head as he inhaled her scent entirely into his lungs, she lifted her face. She needed those lips on hers in a kiss. He claimed her mouth instantly while backing them up into the small cave. She may have put up a fight against this joining for many years, but now that she’d been with him intimately, she couldn’t help the total surrender.

  How high was the cost? She didn’t know yet, but it was time she made a decision about what she was willing to pay for a future that included Alton.

  They had accidentally found this spot one day a few months ago. It wasn’t a deep cave, but it was enough to keep them out of the rain or snow and break the wind.

  They kept a weather-proof plastic box in the corner, and as soon as they reached it, Alton broke the kiss to reach down and pull it open. Two seconds later he had a thick blanket in his hands and was wrapping it around their bodies.

  She shivered from the cold and the excitement of having him in her space.

  He shrugged out of his coat and dropped it to the ground before dragging her closer.

  “You’re gonna freeze,” she said as she tucked herself in the perfect circle of his arms, the blanket wrapped around them both.

  “I’m going to do a lot worse than freeze if we don’t have sex tonight, baby.”

  She sucked in a sharp breath, her nipples tingling at the suggestion. Sex had not been on her radar in this weather. But he had a point. If they didn’t at least come together for a quickie, she might lose her mind. As it was, her sanity was holding itself together by a thin tether that threatened to snap most days.

  She set her hands on his chest and nodded. “You’re right.” There was no way they could even hold a conversation until they’d fucked. As usual. A thrill ran through her body at the idea of literally fucking fast and hard against the cold stone of the cave.

  Alton spun them around until her back was against the wall. His hands shook against her as he reached for the hem of her sweater. She batted him away. “You do you. I’ll do me.” The urgency, always present in their couplings, was right on the surface. There was no time for foreplay.

  As soon as she had her clothes off, leaving nothing but her socks, Alton wrapped the blanket around them both, pressed her back to the stone wall again, and cupped her face. “You know what I can’t wait to do some day?”

  “What?” she breathed.

  “Peel your clothes off slowly, layer by layer. I want to watch you unravel while I take my time bringing you to a slow orgasm before entering you.”

  She shivered as his words hit her hard. His breath was warm against her face, but his words cut like ice. Pursing her lips, she set her forehead against his chest and wrapped her arms around his middle. For a moment, they stood there. One being. Combined. Not noticing the cold.

  Alton broke the fleeting, precious union when his cock throbbed against her torso. He moaned as he reached down to cup her sex and stroke his fingers through her folds. “Jesus, baby. You’re so wet.”

  “Mmm,” was all she could respond with as she wrapped her fingers around his cock and stroked it from base to tip.

  That was all the foreplay they had time for before Alton hoisted her off the ground and lowered her onto his length.

  She screamed when he filled her. Tight. So tight. She gritted her teeth to avoid coming before he had a chance to thrust at least twice.

  “Wrap your legs around me.”

  She did as he told her, grabbing his shoulders while he pressed her into the cold stone behind her. The cold didn’t matter. Not for the next few minutes. She couldn’t even feel it.

  Alton held her up under her butt and bent his knees slightly to pull out and then thrust back into her.

  She gasped, releasing the breath she’d been holding as her first orgasm washed through her body, shaking her to the core. Every jolt made her flinch in his grasp. The most amazing feeling in the world washed over her. And still, she wanted more.

  Again he thrust. His face was strained. She knew he was close. He’d been close before she arrived. When they went this long without having sex, he couldn’t stop his orgasm from ramming through him like a tidal wave.

  With a sharp intake of breath, he came, and when he did, she followed right behind him, her second orgasm drawn from her body from the pressure of the base of his cock against her clit.

  They remained in that position, breathing heavily, for as long as they could stand until the cold got to them. She wanted to tell him how much she enjoyed what they’d just done. She wanted him to know how aroused she’d gotten when she realized he intended to fuck her standing up in the cave. She wanted to say so many things, but her mouth wouldn’t move. Would he think she was weird or something for finding this situation so hot?

  Alton met her gaze. His expression was more serious than usual as he lifted her off his cock and set her feet on the ground. He didn’t mention the steaming hot way he’d just taken her hard and fast. “Get dressed, Jos, before we both freeze.”

  She scrambled to put her clothes back on while he did the same. Something wasn’t right. Something was most assuredly wrong. As if she had a sixth sense, she knew her world was about to tip a little on its axis. Was he feeling remorse for taking her so roughly? God, she hoped not.

  As soon as she was tucked back into her coat, Alton hauled her into his embrace, wrapping them in the blanket once again. This time he leaned against the wall, his feet spread, giving her the space to burrow against his warmth. At least he wasn’t pulling away.

  He didn’t meet her gaze. Instead, he threaded his fingers through her hair and tucked her head against his chest. He i
nhaled her scent audibly for several breaths before he spoke. “I can’t do this anymore, Jos.” They had this conversation often. Tonight he sounded more serious than usual.

  She stiffened. “I know. You’re right. We need to figure something else out.”

  He said nothing. Was he telling her they needed to break up?

  She panicked for a moment before he flattened his palm against her back and soothed her through the layers. “Shhh, baby. Don’t freak out. I just mean we need to end this insanity. I want you in my bed. Every night. Where it’s warm and cozy. I don’t want to hide anymore.”

  She nodded against him. Thank God. “I’d love that. You have a plan?”

  “Nope. Just stating the obvious.” He glanced away, his brows furrowed, lips pursed. Nervous tension crawled up her spine again.

  She had to be imagining it. Why did he seem to be hiding something from her?

  She held him tighter, those ever-present pesky tears leaking. Shaking her weird doubts from her mind, she held her tongue. Silent as usual. She spent most of her life suffering in a silent prison of her choosing. Locked away in a world that had played a horrific joke on them by drawing them together like magnets when they both knew what sort of damage it would do to their respective families if anyone ever found out. So they fought against nature with all they had.

  Except it was time to do something. Now. Was it possible? After all, their parents were in communication now. And a few siblings. Crazy events of the last few months had drawn their immediate families together. Why not her and Alton too?

  If only she didn’t have pack obligations pulling her in a different direction. No matter how many times she tried to convince herself that her mom and dad and even her siblings would support her, the same could not be said of the rest of the pack.

  She knew for a fact most of her cousins were not on board with the idea of reconciliation yet and certainly none of the older generation. Most of them were hell-bent on maintaining that the entire Tarben pack was a bunch of conniving idiots.

  She knew World War III would break out the moment anyone found out about her relationship with the enemy. The same was true of his pack. Making the conscious choice to start that war was difficult. Accepting the repercussions might be even worse.

  There was a possibility one or both of them could lose their jobs and their families. They could be forced to leave Silvertip. They both knew it. They were on a challenging path toward that fate, but shit was happening at work she felt obligated to see through to completion before she lowered the boom.

  It would seem, based on the stilted conversations she had with Alton about their respective breweries, that he was in a similar predicament even though she couldn’t imagine how that was possible. Her brewery was about to launch a product that would set them apart from the competition. What the hell was he working on?

  The reality was her job was stressful, and working for the competitor of your life partner was even more stressful. As long as they met briefly, snatching stolen moments in the night, they had no time or reason to discuss work. But if they completed the binding and outed themselves, everything would change.

  Alton rubbed his hands up and down Joselyn’s arms. “You’re thinking so hard.” He kissed the top of her head again. The weirdness that had surrounded him for a moment was gone. Maybe she’d imagined it.

  “Mmm. Always.”

  He chuckled as he grabbed her biceps to lean back far enough to meet her gaze. “What should I expect? It’s dark. Nighttime is your friend. As soon as the sun goes down, Joselyn Arthur’s brain goes into hyperdrive.”

  She smiled back. He was right. No denying the truth. She might struggle to get up in the morning, but thank God the days were short in Alberta, Canada, at this time of year because her best work was often accomplished spread over the kitchen table at her parents’ home when most people were sleeping.

  He closed his eyes and squeezed her closer. “I’ve been doing some digging. Do you know what the original disagreement was between our families?”

  She winced. “Yeah. Originally, land and water, but I’ve heard a child died somehow. And then something worse happened in retaliation.”

  “Yeah. That’s what I found out. It seems both families were claiming homesteads along the river and then diverting the water to their own land. Before there were any national ordinances against this activity, the river would at times run lower. At some point, I think my pack claimed a homestead on the west side of the river and your pack went ballistic, insisting we stay on the east.”

  She nodded, tipping her face up and setting her chin on his chest to watch him as he spoke. He knew more about the history than she did.

  “I imagine every household spent lots of time pissing and moaning about the other pack so often that their children grew up in this hatred.”

  “Do you know what the last straw was? Did a child really die?”

  He nodded. “Yeah. At least that’s the legend passed down from one generation to the next. It was over a hundred years ago, but apparently after the land dispute, two fathers were out hunting with their young sons. They encountered each other and began arguing.

  “The seven-year-old boys had been raised to hate each other and imitated the standoff, pulling their knives out. The problem is they were too young to understand the consequences, and one of them stabbed the other fatally.”

  She gasped. Her heart ached for that boy’s family. “Let me guess. An Arthur stabbed a Tarben.”

  He rubbed her biceps. “That’s the lore. Later that night the father of the dead child—one of my ancestors—went to the Arthur home and rained bullets on the one-room cabin. The mother was shot and killed. The feud was solidified and remains today, in some ways stronger than ever.”

  “God that’s awful.”

  “Not as awful as still holding on to that grudge to this day and forcing friends and lovers to remain in hiding.” He set his forehead against hers, his voice serious.

  She swallowed. For long seconds they stared at each other.

  Finally, Alton frowned. “You look tired, babe. Are you sleeping?”

  She tipped her head to one side. “Are you?”

  He sighed. “Good point.”

  She slept only a few hours a night, and most nights she woke up before the sun, gasping for breath. That same damn nightmare that began to plague her years ago would not let go of her.

  Never once did she remember what the dream was about. Not a single detail. She just knew that it yanked her awake every time, sweating and scared out of her mind. She also found herself momentarily disoriented, thrashing about in search of something.

  That part wasn’t a mystery. She was searching for Alton, needing to assure herself he was still there. Alive. Breathing. Warm. Hers.

  Except he never was. She had woken up in his arms only a handful of times in the last four months.

  The universe was cruel.

  “I should move out of my parents’ house,” she stated for the hundredth time.

  “Why? You have the perfect set up. All of your siblings have moved out. You have your own wing of the house with more rooms than you need, and your rent is free.” He grinned.

  She rolled her eyes. “You just like knowing where I am.”

  He tapped her nose. “I like knowing you’re safe. There’s a difference.”

  “I’m twenty-four years old. Billions of women my age live on their own without fearing for their lives every day, Alton.”

  “None of those women are my woman, baby.” He kissed her lips gently, reverently. “I worry about you.”

  She licked her lips, tasting him, craving more.

  “And if you don’t start sleeping, I’m going to worry even more. Why don’t you change your schedule so you aren’t rushing around in the morning? Sleep later. Go in at noon. Work second shift hours or at least half of first and then second.” He smiled broadly. “I know you work fifteen hours a day.”

  “Pot meet kettle.”

  N
ow he laughed. “Okay, you have me there. But I’m just trying to keep my mind off you. What else would I do with my time? It’s easier to pretend I’m a workaholic who can’t leave the office than confront my family members about getting a life. I’m pretty sure most of them think I’m gay.”

  She giggled. “Good. Let them think that.”

  “You know the world is seriously fucked up if a man has to pretend to be gay to keep his true relationship a secret.”

  “There’s nothing wrong with being gay,” she teased, biting her lip.

  “I didn’t say there was. But I happen to be heterosexual, which makes it comical when my cousins give me a weird double glance all the time. One of them even confronted me last month when he pointed out a hot chick he was ogling and noticed I never even glanced.”

  Her entire body warmed. “You didn’t glance?”

  He frowned. “Why would I? The sexiest woman alive is already mine.”

  Yeah, she loved this man more than life itself. Which made it that much harder to be without him on a regular basis. Stolen moments and quick fucks were not going to cut it any longer.

  But her job… And her family… Fuck.

  Alton flinched when that word stabbed through her brain. He kissed her forehead again and held her closer. “We will figure this out. We have no other options.”

  They stood there, holding each other close, swaying together for a long time. Words weren’t necessary. They could talk on the phone later if they had something to say. For now, Joselyn needed to be in his arms, feeling his heartbeat next to hers, his breath wafting across her face, his cock—hard again—pressing into her belly. She gripped the back of his shirt in her fists, trying desperately to ignore the cold.

  It was time to go. Her nose was stiff. Her breath came out in cloudy puffs. And her parents would wonder why she was gone so long. They were already suspicious and concerned about these evening runs she took.