‘Don‘t forget we also have something else to plan.’ Holly‘s eyes glint.
‘Oh?’ I glance warily at her.
‘Hen night.’ Holly grins.
‘Hmm. I remember yours, Holly.’ I raise my eyebrows. ‘And a game of truth or dare that lead to a certain chalet girl called Flora doing very naughty things.’
Amelia cackles. ‘That was hilarious. I still can’t believe she accepted the dare to kiss the sexiest man in the bar. Holly, you must get Tash involved in planning our hen night.’
I really should have kept my stupid mouth shut. Although it turned out okay for Flora, dares aren’t my idea of fun.
‘So, we’ve got the chalet-girl workforce at your disposal. Let’s work out what needs doing.’
The following week I’m sitting at the large dining table in Chalet Repos with piles of pine cones in front of me. Beth and I have the job of painting them white, blue and silver. Lucy and Rebecca are making snowflake-themed wedding-favour bags and Tash and Holly are working on the tiny ski placeholders, having sourced what they need on the Internet. Emily is spraying tree branches white, to be used to construct table centrepieces and Amelia … Well Amelia is sipping a cappuccino and ‘supervising’, checking one of her innumerable lists.
I take a deep breath and steel myself to bring up a difficult subject. It’s been bothering me since Valentine’s Day.
‘Beth, there’s something I want to talk to you about.’ I put another duck-egg- blue pine cone onto old newspaper to dry and don’t meet her eye.
‘What’s that?’ She adds another pine cone to the pile.
‘I understand you ran into someone called Thomas this season.’ I try to keep my tone as gentle as possible. I don’t want to scare her off.
‘Yes, you could say that,’ Beth replies cautiously.
‘I wanted to say I’m sorry.’ I stare down at my hands, they’re speckled with duck-egg-blue paint. Then I force myself to face her.
‘I don’t understand.’ Her forehead creases. ‘Why are you sorry? How on earth can Thomas being a prick be your fault?’
‘Um, well … I had my own run in with him a few years back,’ I mumble.
‘So?’ She chews her lip.
‘I feel like I should have warned you,’ I admit. ‘I’ve been feeling really bad about it.’
‘But how could you have known?’ Beth asks.
‘I don’t know. I just feel like I ought to stop him. I …’ I take another deep breath. ‘He, er, gave me an STD. It led to an infection that scarred my ovaries and left me infertile.’
The words come out in a rush and my cheeks burn. I hate talking about this, but maybe I should’ve talked more openly about it in order to warn other girls like Beth.
‘Oh God, I’m sorry, Sophie.’ Beth looks appalled. ‘I had no idea.’
‘He refused to use protection and I’ve been … afraid he might’ve done the same with you.’ My cheeks burn even hotter, turning me into a human furnace.
‘Oh, no.’ She shakes her head. ‘I mean he tried to but I was really bolshy about it and stormed out of the flat. He tried to force me to go through with it, but I threatened to call the police and he backed off.’
If only I’d had Beth’s confidence back then, but I’d been so insecure and too flattered by the attention. Besides I’d been on the pill, so pregnancy wasn’t an issue. That’s the thought I’d comforted myself with as I’d tried to push worries about STDs to the back of my mind.
Oh the irony.
‘I wish I had been. More bolshy, I mean.’ My words are barely audible, but at this exact moment there’s a break in the conversation and everyone is listening.
‘Are you talking about that slimy bastard Thomas?’ Tash asks, eyes hardening.
‘Yes,’ I say flatly. I’ve kept quiet for far too long. It’s best to bring it out in the open if I can help someone else not to make the same stupid mistake.
‘We should do something about him.’ Tash’s mouth compresses into a hard line.
‘Like what?’ Holly stops what she’s doing and picks a grumbling Maddie up out of her car seat.
‘Lynch mob?’ Tash suggests. ‘Or waterboarding?’
‘Please don‘t tell Luc his name.’ I bite my lip and look around the table. I don‘t think I‘ll be able to keep it from him now. Too many people know. ‘Luc is gutted about not being able to have a family and with his father ill and dying I wouldn‘t put it past Luc to track Thomas down.’ I glance anxiously around. ‘He‘s not a violent man normally but I have a feeling he might try to defend my honour.’
‘He adores you, that treasure hunt and the love poem show it.’ Rebecca says. ‘Don‘t worry, we‘ll keep Luc out of it if it‘s going to stress you too much.’
‘So what can we do, if physical violence is definitely off the table?’ Tash has a gleam in her eye I don‘t like the look of.
I can just imagine her accidentally letting a ski pole whack Thomas between the legs. The thought is surprisingly cheering.
‘It‘s off the table.’ Holly says firmly, unbuttoning her top to feed Maddie. ‘Let‘s think about this. What do we want to achieve?’
‘To stop him treating other girls like crap.’ Beth says. ‘And stop him infecting them if he‘s still a carrier of whatever he gave to Sophie.’
‘Yes.’ A firm resolve rises up in me. Even if this leads to Luc finding out it‘s too important to keep quiet about. Women should know. What if Beth had gone through with it and been left infertile too? ‘How though?’
‘We‘d have to be careful, legally speaking, not to commit slander or defamation,’ Rebecca adds. Given her dad‘s a High Court judge I suppose she knows what she‘s talking about.
‘Maybe a YouTube video? Women talking about their experiences. Or Facebook. We could get enough shares going around the Verbier crowd to get it widely spread,’ Beth suggests.
‘Or we get someone like Matt or Jake to talk to him and record it. Thomas is always bragging about girls. He could probably give us enough to hang him with, metaphorically speaking, of course.’ Tash grins at Holly. ‘That way we wouldn‘t have to say a thing, Thomas could do all the talking.’
‘I know Dan would be up for helping with that,’ Beth says quietly. ‘He used to be a barrister back in England, so he‘d be a good choice to make sure we don‘t cross any legal lines.’
‘Okay, let‘s do that, then. Okay with you, Sophie?’ Holly says, still cradling a feeding Maddie.
‘Yes, I think it‘s better Thomas gives us the material to damn himself with. I don‘t fancy spilling my guts on Facebook if I don‘t have to.’ I take a deep breath in.
‘Okay, then, leave it to us.’ Holly smiles. ‘Think of it as another wedding present, Sophie.’
‘A toaster would‘ve done,’ I say. ‘Only joking. Thanks, this really means a lot.’
Chapter 23
SOPHIE
Not long after our pine-cone painting session Luc suggests getting out of Verbier for a drive one afternoon.
‘So, where are you taking me?’ I turn to glance at Luc in the driver’s seat. Max is in the back of the car on his blanket, one ear quirked forwards, as though he’s waiting for Luc’s answer too.
‘I thought it was time to get a friend for Max. You’ve always said you’d like another dog and I think Max would enjoy the canine company.’ He turns to look at me. When our eyes meet I get the feeling he sees everything, that there’s nothing I can hide from him. I need someone or something else to nurture.
‘Are we going to the same rescue place you got Max from?’
‘Yes, they’ve got quite a few dogs I think could be a suitable match for us, but the choice is up to you. And Max, of course. We need to introduce him to the dogs on neutral ground to make sure they’ll get on.’
I look back at Max again, both his ears are pricked forward now. I swear he understands far more of our vocabulary than dogs are supposed to, according to scientists, that is. He’s certainly picked up that where we are goin
g will involve him.
I stare out at the view as we’re nearing the valley floor, the snow is patchy down here. It’s only down in the valley I get a sense of just how breathtakingly huge the mountains are.
It’s on the tip of my tongue to ask why we’re doing this now, but I hesitate. Never ask a question you don’t want the answer to. Some things are better left unsaid. Like pulling at a loose thread I can’t help it, though, even if it risks unravelling too much.
‘Won’t people think we’re getting another dog because we can’t have children?’ I stare down at my hands and pick at a loose bit of nail.
‘Do you really care what people think?’
‘Um, a little,’ I admit. ‘But not that much, I suppose. So, what made you think about doing it now?’
‘You’ve got a lot of love to give,’ he says quietly. ‘And I’m sure there’s a dog waiting you could make the world of difference to. You do that all the time, by the way – make a difference in people’s lives. It’s just so natural for you, you barely realise you’re doing it.’
We pull up at the rescue charity carpark. Luc smiles, a smile that tugs at my heart and soothes away my stress. I’m not alone. I’ll never be alone while I’m married to Luc. He sees a better me than I recognise. I want to be that best version of me.
I’m not sure if I actually believed things might really be okay with Luc until now. I’ve been waiting for the rug to be yanked out from beneath me, expecting that one day Luc would wake up and realise he’d made a huge mistake the day he chose to send me that very first Valentine’s clue at the start of our relationship. Once out of the car Luc links hands with me, threading his fingers through mine.
‘I think I might have mentioned that I love you.’ He squeezes my hand.
‘You have, the poem was lovely. The others were really impressed. If you ever change your mind you won’t be short of offers.’ I grin up at him.
‘I’m happy with the choice I’ve made.’ Luc leads me towards the office. ‘Now we’ve got another one to make. We’ll look at a few of the dogs and then try a meet with Max.’
Because of our tiny flat, we decide to look only at the smaller dogs. We then narrow it down further to dogs who are good with other dogs.
Luc eyes up a larger terrier mix, a scruffy doormat of a dog a little bigger than Max, but I can’t help being drawn to a little Yorkshire terrier who walks with a strange, shuffling limp. When he runs it looks like he’s skipping.
Luc talks to the member of staff on reception duty. Her speech is so rapid I struggle to pick up what she’s saying.
Luc turns back to me and translates. ‘He was found tied to a lamp post with really bad injuries to his front leg. The vet has put a metal plate in it and it’s healed nicely now, so he’s ready to be rehomed.’
‘Did someone injure him on purpose and then abandon him?’
The idea is overwhelming. I don’t understand the mentality of anyone who deliberately hurts animals. It’s inconceivable. I crouch down and extend my hand for the Yorkshire terrier to sniff. He backs away at first, so I stay still and wait for him to come forward.
‘What’s wrong with people, Luc? I don’t understand how they can be so cruel.’ I frown.
He rests a hand on my shoulder. ‘I know you don’t, it’s just one of the reasons I love you. You want him, don’t you?’
I nod my head and produce one of Max’s liver treats for the Yorkshire terrier, who tentatively takes it and then licks my finger with a tiny, darting tongue.
‘Et i’ll est bien avec les autres chiens?’ Luc asks, while I tentatively stroke the sandy fur of the little dog.
‘Oui.’ The lady nods.
Luc goes to fetch Max and the Yorkshire terrier has a lead put on him.
On a nearby patch of land they meet and after a brief mutual sniffing session they walk alongside each other quite happily.
‘She says we can take him home today if we want.’ Luc crouches down to let the terrier sniff him. ‘I was home-checked when I adopted Max, so they don’t need to do it again.’
‘Can we?’
‘Of course. Maybe you should take him on your lap for the journey home, though. He seems fine with Max but I don‘t want to shut them in the back of the car together until they know each other better.
I settle in the seat with the terrier on my lap, knotting his lead to my seatbelt. It‘ll have to do until I can get him a car harness.
‘What shall we call him?’ Luc asks.
I think for a minute, staring down at the tiny dog nestled in my lap, taking it all in his stride. He is at least half the size of Max.
‘Pipsqueak.’ I smile down at the terrier and stroke his back. ‘He‘s such a cute, funny little thing.’
‘Pipsqueak?’ Luc raises his eyebrows, his accent makes the word sound odd. ‘I don‘t think I know the word. What does it mean?’
‘It‘s hard to explain. It means small, but in a nice way. We can call him Pip for short.’
‘Pip.’ Luc nods. ‘Yes, I like it. I think he‘s taken to you already. Look how he‘s cuddling into you.’
‘And I like him already.’ I stare into the little dog‘s soulful brown eyes. ‘In fact, I think I‘m falling in love. How is it possible to love so quickly?’
‘I don‘t know, I think it‘s very possible,’ Luc replies slowly. ‘I fell in love with you the first time I saw you reading a book on your Kindle in the bar. You had such a sweet smile on your face and this amazing light in your eyes. I thought I‘d give anything to be the one making you smile like that.’
‘Really? You never told me that.’ I continue to stroke Pipsqueak, my fingers tracing lightly over the ridge of the metal plate beneath the skin on his right leg. I still can‘t conceive how anyone could break a little dog‘s leg on purpose and then leave him in pain.
‘You‘re okay now, sweetheart.’ I murmur. ‘I‘ve got you. You‘re safe and you‘re going to be so loved.’
‘You‘ve got a lot of love to give, Sophie.’ Luc turns briefly to look at me. ‘Just because we might not have children doesn‘t mean that the love we would‘ve given them has nowhere to go. You give love wherever it‘s needed. To your friends, to animals in need … You‘ve helped so many people. You love Holly and Tash and you‘ll be a great godmother to Maddie.’
‘I know, but I still feel this big hole inside me.’
‘A hole?’
‘An emptiness, ‘ I struggle to put it into words. ‘A loss, a sadness that I don‘t think will ever go away, not completely.’
‘Maybe not, and I‘m not trying to say it‘s okay, just that the love you wanted to give, that nurturing instinct … Well, you can still give it. You do still give it.’
‘I suppose.’ I look down at Pipsqueak. I‘ve been so afraid to love Maddie, would it be safe to try or will it hurt too much?
‘We‘ll be okay, Sophie, it‘ll be okay. My mother says life takes unexpected turns, like a mountain stream twisting and turning its way down to the river. We plan out what we want, what we think is best and then get pulled in quite another direction. Fighting the current doesn‘t change our direction, it just makes us exhausted.’
‘We have a lot, don‘t we, Luc?’ I look up. ‘We live in an amazing part of the world. We have great friends, a business, a home, two dogs and we‘re healthy. Maybe we should focus on what we have rather than what we don‘t have.’
Luc briefly takes one hand off the wheel and reaches for my hand. He intertwines my fingers on top of Pipsqueak‘s fur. ‘We do have a lot and we have our own little family. Fifty per cent of it happens to be canine, that‘s all.’
‘I am so glad we persuaded Holly to organise the hen night.’ Amelia steps forward to press the buzzer on the intercom at the Appartements Belle Neige.
‘Me too.’ I pull off my gloves and brush the snow from them before putting them in my pockets. Holly knows public humiliation isn‘t my idea of a good time. ‘Do you really think Tash didn‘t manage to worm her way into the planning, tho
ugh?’
‘I hope not. I told Holly I‘m doing a serious detox before the wedding.’ Amelia‘s mouth compresses into a hard line. She looks immaculate, as always, her highlighted blonde hair tied back in a high, swishy ponytail.
‘Really, you think Tash will let you get away with not drinking on your hen night?’ I laugh.
‘Do you think I‘d let Tash intimidate me?’ Amelia‘s tone is frosty.
‘Hmm, no comment.’ I raise my eyebrows and my mouth twitches, but I manage to suppress my smile. I‘m pretty impressed they‘ve managed this long without either of them murdering the other.
The door buzzes open and we traipse inside. Amelia and I were told we had to be the last to arrive so the others could set everything up.
A home spa and cocktail party is my ideal hen night. The last place I want to go on my night off is another bar.
The door to Holly‘s apartment is ajar and we let ourselves in.
There are candles and tea lights everywhere and an aroma steamer is piping the scent of orange blossom throughout the chalet apartment. Calm lounge music is playing via the iPod dock.
‘The place looks amazing. Thanks so much for doing this.’ I hug Holly tight. ‘Is Maddie asleep?’
‘Yes, she‘s sleeping much better now. Thank God. I was beginning to understand why they use sleep deprivation for torture.’ Holly laughs.
‘There are going to be healthy snacks and drinks, right?’ Amelia glances suspiciously at the bottles of alcohol. ‘Remember, I‘m doing a detox.’
‘Of course. All the cocktail recipes we picked have fruit in them, and there are always the fruit liqueurs.’ Tash tries to look innocent and fails.
‘We have lots of healthy face masks ready, they should help with the detox.’ Holly steps in. ‘You can have a virgin cocktail if you want, Amelia.’
‘And I have some games planned for later including a Mr and Mrs quiz we got Matt and Luc to fill out beforehand.’ Tash has a glint in her eye that tells me participation won‘t be optional.
Oh joy.
Chalet Girls Page 23
