Mistress Spy

by Mingle, Pamela

  Robbie had gone outside, and Lettice, signaling to her son, departed as well.

  Maddy reached out a hand to Daniel. To her astonishment, he batted it away. “Daniel!” Nicholas said, before turning to her. “He is much saddened by your leaving.”

  “I understand. No need to explain.” She looked at the small boy who meant so much to her. She had filled a void in his life, and he had loved her absolutely. Maddy didn’t blame him for feeling angry with her—he must believe she was abandoning him. Helpless to say anything that would make things less hurtful, in the end all she could say was, “Pray forgive me, Daniel.” She wanted to hold him close and tell him she loved him, but that would not help. And she doubted he would permit it. Nicholas lowered him to the ground, and he ran off to find his companion.

  That left Maddy alone with Nicholas. He looked at her, and his eyes seemed to hold a great sorrow, barely contained. “You’re sure this is what you want, Maddy?”

  She nodded, not looking at him. If she looked at him, she would cry. Did he not know if he asked her to stay, she would? Did he truly believe she wished to leave him and Daniel? But if he would say nothing, neither could she.

  He lifted her hand and held it to his cheek. “Fare thee well, then, sweeting.” He bent his head toward her. She moved closer to him, anticipating one last kiss. Indeed, yearning for it.

  “Maddy, we must be on our way.” Robbie stood in the doorway watching them.

  She nodded. “As you say.”

  Nicholas accompanied them outside. The day was overcast, and no doubt rain would give them a good soaking before they were too long on the road. Robbie climbed onto the wagon bench, astute enough to give them a moment.

  “Farewell, Nicholas. And thank you.”

  “God keep you, Maddy. I will hold you in my heart.”

  He helped her climb up to the bench, beside her brother, and handed Useless up. Robbie clucked to the horse, and they were off. Maddy did not turn around. If she glimpsed Nicholas one more time, she might be tempted to leap down and run to him.

  …

  Nicholas cursed himself for a fool. Letting her go had been the most difficult thing he’d ever done. But how could he do otherwise? After observing Maddy’s reunion with her brother—he could not entreat her to stay with him. Didn’t she deserve some time to work things out with Robert? Given all that she’d related to him about her brother, the action he’d taken to save his skin would not have sat well with Maddy. Perhaps they could heal the rift between them in the coming days.

  A wiser man than Robert might have taken a different approach with his sister, however. Judging from Maddy’s look and demeanor, she had resented his abrupt manner of informing her she was leaving with him, rather than asking if she wanted to. Or if she was ready.

  Nicholas did not wish to be separated from her. Not for any length of time. Their days together in Brampton had been idyllic. After their lovemaking, he’d felt himself drowning in her, and everything in his life had seemed slightly off-kilter since she’d left. Ever since the night they first dined together at the castle and he had glimpsed her in the soft glow of candlelight, Nicholas had known she was a rare beauty. But she possessed an inner radiance that surpassed anything physical. Maddy could be strong and stubborn, yet she was the kindest person he knew. She could not forgive herself for her perceived sins, yet she was forgiving of everybody else. She had advocated for Lady Dacre, even though the woman had stood by, silent, while her stepson planned to kill Maddy. Nicholas suspected that only a few days would pass before she absolved her brother of his sins and they were as close as they had ever been.

  She had given herself to Nicholas without hesitation. She was the woman he wanted by his side for the rest of his life.

  But to his frustration, he remained uncertain as to his own status with Maddy. They’d had next to no time alone together. Had she forgiven him for foolishly placing duty above his love for her? Duty was only part of it. In truth, his worst fear had been hurting her, and then losing her because of it.

  Nicholas planned to visit as soon as he could without intruding on the siblings’ reconciliation. And in the meantime, he intended to petition the Council of the North to regain the Vernon lands and property.

  For the present, he must summon every bit of restraint he possessed to soothe his visceral longing for her.

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  Maddy spent her days at the home of Kat’s parents sewing and mending children’s apparel, entertaining her niece and nephews, tending the herb, vegetable, and flower gardens, and doing whatever else they required of her. As before, she was perhaps one step up from a servant. She did not mind as much, though. Kat’s mother and father managed to be civil, no doubt at Kat’s urging. And keeping occupied every waking hour prevented her from thinking overmuch of Nicholas.

  On the way to Rickerby from Brampton, Robbie had conveyed, in a stilted manner, his sorrow over her recent troubles. After that, they had spoken little. Although she wanted to confront him about what he’d done to save his neck, it wasn’t the right time. Not so soon after they’d been reunited.

  From all appearances, Robbie was no longer the irresponsible ne’er-do-well he’d been in the past. He rose at dawn and worked all day with the animals, in the fields, or in the carpenter’s shop, under the direction of Kat’s father. Maddy would have expected him to chafe at such a lack of independence, but he seemed to have made his peace with it. Perhaps he was as hopeful as she that they would someday regain what was rightfully theirs. Soon she must write to Nicholas about how to make an appeal for their land and property.

  Some evenings Robbie spent in the local alehouse, but she believed it was with Kat’s blessing. Maddy maintained a distance between herself and her brother. What he had done was repugnant to her, and she didn’t know if she could ever forgive him.

  One morning when she and the little ones were picking fruit in the orchard, Robbie came by to do some pruning and cleaning up. They’d had a ferocious storm a few nights before, which had cracked branches and scattered damsons and quinces across the ground like billiard balls on the baize.

  Nearing them, her brother said, “Children, pick up the fruit and put it in the basket.” Maddy had noticed that they were quite obedient to him, and now they began to do as he instructed with no argument.

  Apparently, he had something to say to her. She lowered herself to a stump Robbie motioned toward. He’d made no effort to engage her thus far, but maybe he was as uncomfortable with the awkwardness between them as she was. “We must talk of what happened, Madeleine, if we are ever to be true brother and sister again.”

  Maddy nodded in agreement. “What have you to say for yourself?”

  “You are angry with me about what I did to save my life.” It was not a question.

  She gazed steadily at him. “How could you? You, of all people, had no right to judge anybody!”

  “Would you rather I had died that day?”

  “Of course not. But you could have run off, concealed yourself somewhere before the queen’s men had a chance to track you down. Many did.”

  “Make no mistake, I had planned to do exactly that. But in the end, there wasn’t time. When the opportunity arose, I had no choice but to seize it.”

  “You should have considered the consequences before you cast your lot with Northumberland. Then you would not have had to make such a choice.”

  “Aye, hindsight is always sharper, is it not? Rumors were circulating about the way a man’s life might be spared. I found a wastrel, a criminal who was willing, for coin, to take my place. He wished to bestow the money on his family. He said he had no hope of redemption in this life, and mayhap sacrificing himself for me would give him hope for the next.”

  “Poor, pathetic creature!”

  “Aye.”

  Leaning over, Maddy rested her head in her hands. When she felt his hand on her arm, she looked up and was shocked to see his eyes glossy with tears.

  “Do you think I do n
ot suffer for what I did? I am mortally ashamed, Maddy. I am working hard to gain God’s forgiveness, and that of my family. Pray, give me a chance. Without your forgiveness, I don’t think I can carry on.”

  “Mine? Why?”

  “Because you have always been my guardian angel. When I was a lad, it was you who protected me, saved me from Father’s punishment in scrape after scrape. And I disappointed you over and over again. When I married Kat, I beat down my wild impulses, especially after the children came. But the chance to do something exciting—dangerous, even—called to me. I was a fool, in every respect.”

  Maddy felt a hard shell around her heart begin to break apart. “If you were a fool, then so was I. Do you think it showed good sense to run off and join Leonard Dacre’s raid? It was a reckless, senseless act. It led to all the troubles that followed.”

  His next words surprised her. “I am in awe of you for what you did. But you were hurt by it. For that, I blame myself. And Kat feels responsible, too, for not telling you I was alive. You would never have put yourself in such peril had you known the truth.”

  “It was entirely my decision.”

  Robbie scowled. “And Ryder. Turning you into his spy. If it weren’t for the fact we likely need his help to get our land back, I’d challenge him to a duel.”

  Maddy grabbed his hands. “Oh, no, Robbie, you misjudge him. He has been forced to work for his father, but he wants free of it. Nicholas is a good man, believe me.”

  He smiled. “So that is the way the wind blows, eh?”

  A blush stole over her face. “I doubt anything will come of it, brother. You need not concern yourself, or tease me about it, come to that.”

  Maddy rose, and he did, too. “Perhaps it is time to stop blaming each other—and ourselves,” she said. “If you require my forgiveness, you have it. And I will pray for you, Robbie.”

  He embraced her and kissed her cheek. They watched his children for a moment before he called to them. They lugged the basket over, proud to show him how much fruit they had gathered.

  …

  Nicholas made it a priority to help Maddy regain the Vernon land and property. From the time he’d first questioned her at the castle, she’d made it clear it was the only thing she truly desired. And he wanted her happiness above all else. The day after he’d said farewell to Maddy, he petitioned the Council of the North to appear before them to plead her case.

  The Council usually met in York. But they had administrative business in Carlisle and summoned Nicholas there instead, to the Guildhall. That saved him a long, costly journey. His father agreed to accompany him.

  “Are you uneasy about this, Nick?”

  “I suppose I am,” he admitted. “For Madeleine’s sake.”

  “I believe you may set your mind at rest. This is simply a necessary formality.”

  “I hope you are right.”

  His father frowned. “You are aware, of course, that because she is a female, the land will be given not to her, but to her brother.”

  “Aye. I mislike it, but it is the best outcome I can hope for.”

  Surprising him, his father said, “I do believe you love that lass.” The man was actually smiling.

  With every fibre of my being. But does she love me?

  No need to share his deepest feelings with his father. They’d never had that kind of relationship. So Nicholas simply nodded in agreement and smiled back.

  The Earl of Sussex was still the president of the council. When Nicholas was called, he described in detail the work Maddy had done at Lanercost and how she had been instrumental in ending the conspiracy to abduct Mary Stewart. He was less voluble on the topic of Robert Vernon, but he described him as “reformed” and “regretful of his actions.”

  In the end, Sussex, looking stern of visage and sounding the same, said, “It appears that Mistress Vernon successfully carried out a difficult assignment beneficial to the queen. Her brother also has…paid his debt. We will confer and give you our decision within a fortnight.”

  “I am most grateful, my lord.” Nicholas did not see how Sussex could advise the Council to deny the petition, given that he himself may have been involved in the plot.

  Now he would bide his time until they handed down their decision.

  …

  Maddy’s tasks kept her occupied from dawn to dusk, rarely allowing her the luxury of a wandering mind. Yet there were quiet moments, especially in the evenings, when she and Kat sat with their work. It was then that clary sage eyes and curling dark hair made their way into her thoughts, at times causing her to pause, her needle stilled, staring at nothing. Nicholas had once told his father that if he did not allow him to deal with Maddy on his own terms, he would take Daniel and leave. But hadn’t he said he lacked the wherewithal to do so? How did matters stand with him now? Of one thing she was certain. He wanted to end his involvement with the queen and her doings.

  Nicholas Ryder’s affairs are none of your concern, Madeleine.

  She did not dare to believe in a future with him. Recently, Robert and Kat had introduced her to a yeoman at a village entertainment. Wealthier than most, he was a widower with two children. They hadn’t said so outright, but she would have had to be witless not to see what her brother and his wife wished. To turn over responsibility for her to somebody else. The man was nice enough, with a pleasing countenance. But he did not stir her blood.

  Some weeks after she’d last seen Nicholas, Maddy and Kat were preparing to make a call on one of the tenants whose children were ailing. Together they had readied a basket of meat pies, fruit, bread, and cheese. Maddy tucked in a few balls for the boys and a cloth doll for the girl. Kat had gone to fetch her basket of remedies, and Maddy was waiting for her outside, playing with Useless. Glancing up at the sound of a horse approaching, she could not make out who it was at first. But it wasn’t long before she recognized Nicholas. She did not know why he’d come, but the mere sight of him made her heart leap.

  He dismounted and strode toward her, his smile wide. “Good morrow, Maddy,” he said. “Is your brother about?”

  “I’ll send one of the children to find him,” she said. “Come inside, pray, and take some refreshment.”

  “I shall wait here.”

  She nodded and hurried in. Martha was sewing with her grandmother, but Edward and Andrew, Maddy was informed, were in the back garden playing soldier. She sent them in search of their father, then returned to Nicholas.

  “Why have you come?” she said. His eyes were fair dancing.

  “I’ll explain when your brother is present. How do you get on, Maddy?”

  She shrugged. “’Tis not much different than before, but I have grown accustomed to it. What about you?”

  Before he could answer, her brother strode around the far end of the stables and hastened toward them. “Ryder,” he said, nodding. “Will you come inside?”

  Nicholas again declined the offer. “I stopped only to inform you both that I petitioned the Council on your behalf, and they have decided in your favor. The Vernon land and property are to be returned to you.” He brushed a hand across his beard. “I must warn you—I do not know what remains of your furnishings, plate, and the rest.” Maddy thought of Naworth Castle, and how the Dacres had looted it. It was likely the Vernon home had been plundered, too.

  “We care not for that,” Robbie said. “This is good news indeed!” Laughing, he lifted Maddy off the ground and twirled her around.

  After he set her down, Maddy said, “You have our thanks, Nicholas. This is very good news indeed. I meant to write to you about it, but I have been busy with the children.”

  Nicholas looked uncomfortable. “The queen had given it as a preferment to one of Hunsdon’s men. He and his family will have to remove their things.”

  “Have they been told?” Robbie asked.

  “I’ll be paying them a visit soon. I believe you should be able to take possession within a fortnight.”

  Kat joined them then, and Robbie info
rmed her of the news. Smiling, they embraced and then went away, whispering to each other. It had most likely been difficult for them to live with Kat’s parents. Selfishly, Maddy had never truly considered that.

  She turned back to Nicholas, who said, “Will you ride out with me, Maddy? I have something I wish to say to you.”

  His expression was solemn.

  She hesitated only a moment. “Allow me to speak to Kat. I was to accompany her to visit a tenant.”

  Maddy soon had things squared with her sister-in-law, who insisted Martha could take Maddy’s place. “No doubt she will be thrilled to give up her sewing.”

  Nicholas did not care to wait while another horse was saddled. “You will ride with me,” he said, rather arrogantly. After he mounted and settled himself, he reached a hand down to her. She grasped it and set her foot upon his in the stirrup. With little effort, he pulled her up in front of him.

  Which was a very fine place to be. He wrapped an arm about her waist, holding her against him. She relaxed into his solid chest, so close she could feel every breath he took.

  “Shall we ride to the river?” he asked.

  She nodded her assent. The air was redolent with spring fragrances—rain and sage and pine.

  Nicholas suddenly broke the silence. “Will you go with them?”

  “Aye. I’ll live in one of the tenant’s cottages, if Robert will allow it.”

  The arm encircling her grew firmer. “What? They’ll reside in the house, and you, in a tenant’s cottage?” He shook his head. “It is only due to you that your family is getting the land back at all.”

  Irritation got the better of her. “What did you think would happen? I am a female. None of the estate belongs to me—only to Robert. I’ll be grateful to have the cottage, where I can live on my own.”

  “I mislike it.”

  Awkwardly, she twisted around to look at him. “At least I shall have some degree of privacy and a place to call my own. And a garden. I shall insist upon a garden. Mayhap more than one.”