Survival Instinct

by Declan Conner

  “Good for you, Mary,” Ellie said, “great advice. Now tell us where dad’s taking you so I’ll know how to dress him?”

  Jamie just sat back and relaxed. The whole affair was nowhere near as dramatic as he had feared. Ellie helped Mary clear the dishes and the two girls gossiped.

  “Listen, dad, I’m sorry about what I said. Are you sure you’re okay?” said Steve.

  “I’m fine, but I have to admit it scared the crap out of me when I thought they were going to lock me up.”

  Steve reached over and hugged his dad.

  “Love you, dad,”

  “Love you too, son, don’t worry I’ll be okay.”

  Mary interrupted.

  “Dishes are done. I’ll make my way home and see you tonight.” Jamie walked her to the door, took her hand and gave it a gentle squeeze.

  “Thanks,” he said and gave her a peck on the cheek.”See you about eight.”

  Jamie returned to the kitchen to look for his newspaper not realizing the police had taken that too. He checked the door was locked and glanced at the repaired windowpane.

  Contents

  Evening to remember

  Mary arrived home and Gertrude greeted her at the door, tail erect and prancing, almost begging to be picked up as she weaved in and out of her legs.

  “What an exciting day! I have my first date with Jamie tonight. So I want you on your best behavior if I ask him back for a coffee.”

  Gertrude purred in response.

  She opened a can of cat food and put it in the bowl. Then looking around the house she sighed, What a mess! With only herself to please, her house wasn’t the tidiest but at least it was usually clean. “He’s bound to smell cat; I need to get to work.”

  Mary labored hard to make sure there wasn’t a cat hair anywhere and lit an incense stick to take away the odor. In the kitchen, she prepared some coffee and put the cat tray out. Satisfied everything was in order; she ran a bath using her most expensive bubble bath oil and looked through her wardrobe to find an outfit. Satisfied with her choice, she settled down in the bubbles of bathwater to relax and daydream about Jamie.

  ***

  Jamie sat on the sofa with Ellie cuddled up to watch television.

  “I really like Mary, dad, do you think you might start hanging out, you know, kind of serious?”

  “It’s early yet, then there’s Gertrude to think about.”

  “Gertrude? You’re not seriously seeing someone called Gertrude?”

  “No, that’s the name of Mary’s cat. Gertrude may not take a shine to me.”

  “Don’t forget your aftershave and to scrub your nails.”

  “I won’t. I don’t know who’s more nervous about this date?”

  “Just don’t rush into anything. It’s one thing knowing each other at work, but socially it may be a whole different chapter.”

  “Christ, you’re sounding like Uncle Bill now.”

  “Talking about Bill, where is he?”

  “Oh he’s dating, so he may not be around for a while,” said Jamie, his thoughts turning back to his doubts about Bill. “Do you feel comfortable with him around?”

  “Yeah, fine, he’s really funny. He can be a little vulgar, but other than that, he’s great.”

  Jamie decided not to frighten Ellie, seeing as how Bill was going to be tied up with Gina for a while, but he knew it was something he was going to have to deal with.

  “Right I’ll get ready now,” said Jamie.

  He went upstairs to prepare for his evening. On returning Ellie gave him a thorough inspection.

  “Lookin’ good! The outfit works. Show me your fingers. Good boy, you’re learning and you smell good too. Have a great evening.”

  “Don’t wait up.”

  “Yeah, I think I’ll watch TV in my room. Steve will be on his computer all night.”

  “Just make sure you lock up as I leave.”

  Jamie made his way to his car and patted his back pocket to make sure he had a condom and his wallet. He was just about to get in his car when the neighbor came over.

  “Are you going to tell me what’s going on? Someone’s been hanging around your house this last week or so, then the police this morning.”

  Damn the police must have had me under surveillance.

  “Yeah, well if it bothers you that much phone the police next time,” said Jamie and drove off, checking in his mirror to be sure no one was following.

  Arriving at Mary’s, he switched off his cell phone and put it in the glove compartment. Don’t want to be disturbed. He knocked on the door and Mary answered. He was taken aback. She looked stunning in a tight figure-hugging dress hanging just below the knee. Her hair usually tied in a ponytail at work was let down, giving her a whole new look.

  “You look beautiful,” said Jamie and pecked her on the cheek. “Hmm, smell good too.”

  “Flattery will get you everywhere,” she said as she locked the door. “You scrub up well too.”

  Jamie felt nervous, a little like a teenager on his first date. Christ I’m forty-six, just act normal. He opened the car door for her and hesitated. Mary hitched up her dress to swing her legs into the car. God, why do we have to go through the ritual of dining? Driving to the restaurant Jamie kept glancing at her out of the corner of his eye, careful not to fully turn his head for her to notice.

  The light from the streetlamps danced across her face allowing him to glimpse at her beauty, and his vision focused on the fullness of her lips.

  “Eyes on the road, Jamie. It would be nice to get there in one piece.”

  Uh oh, caught me, embarrassing.

  “Sorry, but honestly you look so different out of work.”

  “Thank you.” Mary smiled at the compliment.

  “Here we are, hope you like Spanish food.”

  After he parked the car, they entered and were shown to their table. A guy sat on a tall stool playing flamenco music on a Spanish Guitar, the authenticity spoiled with a canned orchestra in the background.

  “Great atmosphere,” she said. “Is this where you bring all your dates?”

  The waiter handed them the menu. “I’ve never been here before in my life, and no I am not dating anyone, only you. In fact, I can honestly say this is the very first time I’ve asked anyone out.”

  “You must have dated someone from the singles’ club.”

  Jamie decided to take matters in hand. He wasn’t about to let this opportunity pass.

  “Mary, please listen and don’t interrupt. I’ve got to get this out of my system before we go any further. God knows it’s taken years for us to get here. I’ve wanted to take you out for ages. The fact that we are sitting here now is beyond my wildest dreams, so please let’s not fence,” said Jamie amazed how the words flowed without any nerves at all.

  “You know, I felt the same way?”

  “I kind of hoped so, but I never dared do anything in case you rejected me.”

  “Jamie Jameson I hate you! You mean we’ve wasted all these years?” she said with a warm smile.

  “Come on, let’s order some wine,” said Jamie as he studied the wine list. “Fancy a Merlot?”

  “Fine, I trust your judgment.”

  Jamie called the waiter and ordered a bottle.

  “Are you ready to order?” asked the waiter.

  “Have you decided yet, Mary?”

  “Hmm, why don’t we have paella? After all we’re in a Spanish restaurant.”

  “Is there garlic in the paella?”

  “No, sir.”

  “Right then, paella it is for two.”

  “Don’t you like garlic Jamie?”

  “Yes, why?”

  Mary giggled, “Come on we’re not kids.”

  “A bit obvious I suppose. I could say it’s because I had a business meeting tomorrow, but I’d be lying.” The waiter interrupted and poured a small amount into Jamie’s glass for him to taste. “That’s fine thank you.” The wine waiter poured out their glasses. “Just hal
f a glass for me,” said Jamie.

  “Are you expecting me to drink the whole bottle?” she asked. “I’d really like to remember tonight for posterity.”

  “You don’t have to drink it all; I can just ask them to cork it and we can take it with us.”

  “Really, after the day you’ve had, I should be driving and you should be drinking.”

  “I’d drink to that, but it’s a little late now.”

  Mary hesitated.

  “What if after the meal we have a drink at your house and I could take a taxi home?” asked Jamie.

  “Are you reading my mind?”

  “Ha, I wish. What do you think? Don’t worry I’ll be the perfect gentleman.”

  “Yeah, sounds good . . . I think” she said, “like I said, after the day you’ve had you could do with a stiff one.”

  Jamie almost choked at her remark as he sipped his wine and his face flamed. Then he said, “Gertrude won’t mind then?”

  “Gertrude doesn’t get a say. I’m sure she’ll like you. What was this private joke between you and Bill about a Gertrude?”

  “Remember the speed dating? Bill said we should role play and he picked the name Gertrude.”

  “What do you mean, you practiced questions and answers?”

  “Yeah, pathetic isn’t it?”

  “No, it sounds fun. Go on then pretend we’re at speed dating.”

  “Okay, but you have to be honest.”

  “Hmm could be dangerous. It’s one thing knowing you from work. Come on then, you start.”

  Jamie wanted to use the same routine he used on Susan, but decided she may take him seriously if he asked her to marry him.

  “Okay, Mary, what brought you here tonight?”

  “A Cadillac!”

  “No come on, be serious, the truth.”

  She laughed. He could see her hands tremble. He thought, I wonder what she would be nervous about?

  “Okay, a Cadillac with a handsome driver and someone I consider a good friend, who incidentally I quite fancy.”

  Jamie felt a little embarrassed at her candor and took a sip of his wine.

  “Come, JJ, it’s your turn, and don’t go skating around, the truth remember? What brings you here?”

  Jamie fought with his thoughts, desperately hoping that this time his mouth would engage them in harmony. For goodness sake, it can’t be that hard. I’ve already said it’s beyond my wildest dreams.

  “I... Em...What I mean. . .” He could feel his face twist as he fought his demons. Mary moved both her hands to take hold of his. He was gripping the wine glass so tight it was in danger of snapping.

  “Come on, Jamie, you must know why you’re here, even if it’s only a thank you for my moral support. You’ve already told me you waited years for tonight, so just say what you feel.”

  He looked into her eyes smiling at him with warmth. His thoughts ran like a movie in fast motion, revealing the times he had wanted to take hold of her and kiss her until the film ran out. His mind began flapping to the sound of the end of the roll of film in his imagination. Then he composed his speech.

  “That moral support thing was just an excuse. For goodness sake, I’ve agonized for the last twenty years wanting to ask you out. No, that’s not quite right. The truth is if I had a million fingers on each hand I still couldn’t count the times I’ve wanted to make a pass. Don’t you know that`s why Cuthbert shipped me off to the UK?” Jamie could feel his entire body tremble, his hands shook uncontrollably as he had finally managed to say what was on his mind.

  “We’re here for the same reason then, so what’s there to be nervous about? All we have to do is tick the ‘Yes’ box, remember?” she said softly and gently squeezed his hands. She released them as the waiter interrupted to serve their food.

  “It’s a pity the meal arrived, I was just enjoying my speed dating,” said Mary.

  Jamie’s nervousness subsided as he dove into his dinner.

  “Hey, JJ, fancy seeing you here.”

  Jamie recognized the voice and spun around on his chair.

  “Susan!”

  “Are you going to introduce me then?”

  “Oh... Em yes. . .this is Mary.”

  Susan made her way to Mary and shook her hand.

  “Please to meet you, Mary,” she said, “I’ve heard a lot about you, glad we’ve met.”

  “Oh, where do you know JJ from?”

  Susan hesitated and Jamie wanted to hide under the table, dreading the answer and feeling a pain behind his eyes.

  “We have a mutual friend, Bill. Must go, my friend and I are starving.”

  Susan made her way to the other side of the restaurant, fortunately out of sight. Jamie felt awkward and could see the puzzled look on Mary’s face.

  “Is she one of Bill’s conquests?”

  “No she... Em...Okay look we met at the speed dating and remember, I got drunk. Well she sat with me in the interval, and I told her all about you.”

  “Oh, and did you tick her ‘Yes’ box?”

  “Listen, the reason I got drunk was because I was thinking about you and what you had said to me about being happy in my own skin. I didn’t think I was ready for dating.”

  “You’re sounding evasive.”

  “It’s true, I sat at an empty table when I thought about that day at the model agency and our hands touched. I was shaking, remember?”

  “Yeah, you were hungry if I remember correctly?”

  “Oh I was hungry, but not for food. It was one of those times I wanted to take you in my arms?”

  “Hmm, really?” she said and smiled. “Why did she say she knew you through Bill?”

  “Bill was at the speed dating too,” he said hoping that would be an end to it.

  “Did you see her after that?”

  Jamie knew he was on dangerous ground, but wasn’t about to ruin his fledgling romance by telling lies.

  “Yeah, I was at a Hawaiian night dance with Bill, and Susan was there. I had a dance with her and told her I’d asked to take you to the movies on a date. And no, before you ask, I haven’t slept with her.”

  “Just wondered that’s all, sorry.”

  Jamie felt uncomfortable and wanted to hurry up and finish the meal and get the hell out of there. Mary seemed satisfied and reached across to him taking his hand.

  “Did you really want to take me in your arms that day?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Can I tell you a secret?”

  “Go on then.”

  “Remember when we arrived at the mall parking garage to go our separate ways after you nearly asked me out to the pictures. I was hoping you were going to make a pass,” she said laughing.

  “God, and to think I was thinking the same,” replied Jamie as his feeling of panic waned. “We aren’t very good mind readers are we?”

  Panic over, the conversation went smoothly until they finished the meal.

  “Would you like a coffee?”

  “No, I’m fine,” she said. “I’d rather put my feet up now that I’ve finished that bottle of wine, and besides, I’ve left some coffee on at home.”

  Jamie called the waiter and paid the bill. He started to feel a little nervous again now they were going back to her house.

  “I just need to go to the ladies room, I won’t be long.”

  Jamie waited at the bar and was horrified when Susan followed Mary into the bathroom. Jamie nervously stared at the clock behind the bar as the second hand ticked away. She was only away three minutes. He saw Susan and Mary walk out of the bathroom, but then he recalled just how much conversation you could make in three minutes after his experience at speed dating. Please, if there is a God, please tell me they haven’t talked.

  Mary returned.

  “Did you and Susan have a good chat?”

  “Just girl talk.”

  What does that mean?

  Neither of them said anything else as they arrived at the car and set off to Mary’s house. His mind was preoccupied with
guilt at smooching with Susan and worried what she might have said.

  Arriving at her house, Mary ushered Jamie into the den and went into the kitchen. As she opened the kitchen door, he could smell the aroma of coffee. Gertrude stirred in her basket but slept on. Taking out a bottle of wine from the refrigerator, Mary returned to the den.

  “Hope you don’t mind, I only have white.”

  “No, that’s fine.”

  “Here’s a corkscrew, would you do the honors?”

  She took two wineglasses from the cupboard and switched on the music. Jamie loved the sound, R&B love songs. Switching on a table lamp, she turned off the main light. All quite warm and cozy.

  “The paella’s laid a little heavy on my stomach,” said Jamie pouring the wine and passing her a glass.

  “It was a nice meal though. Thanks.” She reached forward to peck him on the cheek in appreciation and cuddled up.

  Both were silent, words didn’t seem to be necessary as they sipped their wine and listened to the music. Jamie didn’t feel nervous. It all seemed natural as he slipped his arm around her and pulled her close. Kicking off her shoes, Mary pulled her legs up on the sofa. Jamie put down his glass, took hers and placed it on the coffee table. He put his arms around her and slipped onto his knees in front of the sofa, as she reclined into the space he vacated, her head on the cushion. Jamie gently kissed the fullness of her lips and she responded. He kissed her bottom lip and drew it into his lips then started to kiss passionately, her tongue darting into his mouth exciting him.

  Oh no, stomach, please dear God, not now. His mind in turmoil, he clenched his buttocks but failed to stop himself breaking wind.

  “Jamie Jameson!”

  “Sorry, I need the bathroom.”

  “Top of the stairs on your right.”

  Jamie rushed out of the room and into the bathroom just in time. Holding his head in his hands in deep embarrassment, he felt relief from the pain in his gut. Making his way downstairs sheepishly, he entered the lounge to find Mary had lit an incense stick and was furiously spraying the room with an air freshener.

  “Feel better?” she said laughing. The infection of her laugh caused him to laugh too.

  “Must have been some bad fish in my dinner. It went right through me, sorry.”