For I Have Sinned: Bastian and Rob 1 (Southern Sin)

by Julia McBryant

  “So you like Bowie?”

  Bastian smiled and nodded. “I love Bowie.”

  “I saw him play once.”

  Bastian threw a napkin at him. “Lucky bastard. I’d give — well, one of my smaller toes.”

  Rob smiled back at this boy who affectionately disliked cats and had just dumped a possum in his damn lap. “Maybe sometime we could.”

  Bastian’s eyes widened. “You would — would you, like, go see Bowie with me?”

  “Of course I would. Why wouldn’t I, once school ends?”

  Bastian looked at Ziggy Stardust trundling around the chairs. “I don’t know. But that would be — I would really like that a whole lot, someone to go to concerts with me. We could maybe like, hold hands if you wanted to. I love concerts.” He scooped up his possum. She settled into him happily and Bastian hugged her. He still didn’t look at Rob. “I would like that.” Bastian straightened up. “Oh. I forgot to say. I have two cornsnakes in my bedroom — you don’t have a phobia, do you? And some firebellied toads. They’re the best. They sing. D’you wanna see them?”

  Rob looked up from the remains of his pizza. Bastian clearly wasn’t trying to trick him up into the bedroom. He actually, truly wanted to show Rob his toads.

  “They’re really frogs. But they make the cutest little meeping sounds.”

  “Yeah. Show me your frogs. Are they big or little?”

  “Tiny.” Bastian smiled. “I never showed them to anyone before. Only Isabel, once or twice. She was my friend at St. Albert’s. She liked them.”

  Rob somehow managed to keep smiling.

  Bastian’s room was almost scrupulously neat: perfectly made bed and no posters on the walls. Two tanks held beautiful, striped snakes coiled in artificial caves; another looked misty. Bastian leaned down. “The toads are in here. They don’t like, have names or anything.”

  Rob smiled to see them, so small, sitting on leaves next to a pool of water.

  “They meep in the mornings and late at night.” Bastian was quiet for a moment. “You didn’t have to buy me all that running stuff, but it was really nice of you.”

  “I wanted to.” Bastian stood so close that Rob smelled his mint shampoo. He was in Bastian’s bedroom. He wanted so desperately to cross the gap between them. Since they’d arrived at his house everything seemed strange and different. He wanted to touch Bastian, to hold him, but he seemed to have forgotten the steps that made up the dance, or lost the pieces to the puzzle.

  “Was I good today?” Bastian still looked at the frogs. “I tried to be good. I didn’t say ‘fuck’ — I mean, I didn’t say it in public or anything. I guess I was really disrespectful though.” He sighed. “I’m never good. No matter how hard I try. I’m never good.”

  Rob dropped his voice low and soft. “You were so good, sprite. You were so, so good, baby boy. And you swam so hard. And anything you said was something I needed to hear. You weren’t disrespectful.”

  “Daddy?” He hadn’t said it since he’d yelled in the driveway. Rob sensed he was asking if he could still say it.

  “What is it, baby?” Rob’s stomach flipped. When he answered Bastian he made a choice. He felt that choice like he’d just tipped a row of dominos. He wanted it so much. He shouldn’t want it at all.

  “I ache all over.”

  “Lie down on your bed. Where’s your Advil?” Rob cursed himself for not thinking about this before. “And put your damn possum down. Can you do that?”

  Bastian laughed a little. He set Ziggy Stardust on the floor. “Yeah. She’ll be fine. Just shut the door. And it’s in my bathroom cabinet.”

  Rob got him four and a glass of water. Bastian swallowed them, kicked his athletic sandals off, pulled down the comforter, and collapsed on the bed. When Bastian shed his hoodie, he looked much less like a little boy drowning in a big shirt and much more like a muscled swimmer. Rob swallowed. “Do you want me to rub your back?”

  “It’ll just hurt more.”

  “What can I do for you, sprite?” He took the chance to stroke the long, smooth muscles of Bastian’s back. Bastian practically purred.

  “That feels good.”

  Rob began to harden. He shoved away the thought that he ought not to do this, that he was breaking something he could never piece back together. “You want me to touch you?”

  “Yeah. Uh-huh.”

  “How do you want me to touch you?”

  “Like before.”

  “Can you take your pants off for me? I’ll take my clothes off, and we’ll lie down together, okay?” No sooner was Rob in the bed than Bastian crowded against him, cock against own, begging, wedging underneath him. Rob rested some of his weight on Bastian, who sighed and relaxed under it. He wrapped his arms around Rob’s neck. In college, Rob had played with some good submissives, but none as passive as Bastian, none who seemed to crave it as much. He wanted pinned — it seemed to soothe him. Rob hardened more at the thought. Bastian would give Rob whatever he asked for. So difficult not to ask for everything. If he did he’d be taking advantage of Bastian. Bastian didn’t need fucked. Bastian needed taken care of.

  Bastian buried his head in Rob’s neck and moved against his cock. “I want that. Can I have that, Daddy? You can hold me down and give it to me. You said how good I was. You said I was so good.”

  Oh God, that slim, muscled body bucked under him, twisting and arching. Bastian began sucking his neck. “Stop it, you’ll leave a mark.”

  Bastian stopped and looked at him with those big dark eyes. “Please?” Bastian’s nipples were hard under his T-shirt. “Why can’t I have it, Daddy? I’ve been a sweet boy. You said it. I swam so hard for you I broke two records today. And I hate to swim. I told you I hate it. But I did it because you wanted me to.”

  Oh God, he had. The thought both hurt Rob and hardened him. He had asked Bastian to do it and he had, he’d done it for him. So good and obedient. Bastian had been right. He needed a daddy to make him behave. He would do whatever Rob asked. He would be so good, and all because Rob asked him to be. It was an intoxicating, terrible knowledge, something Rob wished immediately he didn’t have. Bastian needed held. Bastian needed loved. Rob ached for this lonely boy surrounded by animals. Bastian needed someone to care about him and someone to care about in turn. If he was going to do this, he had to do it right.

  But Bastian bucked up to his cock again. “Please, Daddy. You said good boys get it whenever they want and I want it. Show me I was good.”

  Goddammit. He had said that. He’d meant it, too. And he wanted Bastian so much.

  “I don’t want to take advantage of you. You’re lonely. You need taken care of. You don’t need that.”

  Bastian sat up.

  “Jesus fucking Christ! Will you quit it with that shit?!” His voice changed to a normal tone. “If you keep doing this it means you don’t really want it. You’re looking for excuses. You’re naked in my goddamn bed. Make a fucking choice. Fuck me or get out.”

  “Excuse me?!”

  “You heard me. Fuck me or get out.”

  “Oh no, you brat. You don’t get to dictate terms like that. Boys don’t order their daddies around.”

  Bastian laughed in his face. “You are definitely not my daddy.”

  “What the fuck do you mean?!”

  “If you were really my daddy, you would either say, ‘Bastian, you’ve been a good boy today,’ and you would tell me why, and you’d give me a reward for it. Or you would say, ‘Bastian, you’ve been a bad boy today,’ and you would tell me why, and you’d punish me. You are not acting like a daddy.” He crossed his arms. “And a daddy would cuddle me and love on me either way.”

  Rob stroked his cheek. He was fucking right. “Bastian, you’ve been a very, very good boy today. You tried your best to be good.”

  Bastian looked up, and his whole demeanor had changed. “I tried so hard.” He lay back down. Rob lay with him. He wrapped Bastian in his arms.

  “You don’t need fucked right now, sweet
boy. You think you do but you don’t. You need cuddled and taken care of. We made sure you ate and got Advil.” Rob paused. “Now you need cuddled and petted for a while.”

  “Daddy, you said I was good and I want —”

  “What you want doesn’t matter. What you need does, and maybe you’ll get what you want later. Right now hush and let me hold you the way you like. Turn on your belly, please.” Rob couldn’t stand to have Bastian’s cock touching him. Once Bastian had turned, Rob rested his weight on him. His lips touched Bastian’s neck, and Rob swore the tension drained from him. “That’s it, baby. Just relax for me. You need to calm down and even take a little nap, okay?”

  “Okay.”

  “You’re overexcited. Calm down, honey. You can’t yell at your daddy that way.” God, Rob hoped he wasn’t fucking this up. Bastian seemed to calm. Rob held him quietly. When the frogs began to sing, he stirred and turned to him. Bastian moved a little, then a little more.

  He yawned. “Was I a good boy, Daddy?”

  Rob nodded. “You were a good boy. And you’re nice and calm now. Do you feel better?”

  “Uh-huh.”

  “Do you want your reward for being a good boy since you’ve had your cuddles and you’re calm?”

  Bastian nodded.

  “Now,” and oh God did it feel good to say, “do you need your little hole played with, sprite? Do you need me to jerk your cock?”

  “Please, Daddy? I need it. Feel my balls, they’re so full. I wanna come for you, Daddy. Can I? I can be good but I can be such a little slut for you, too. And I feel like a little slut right now.”

  “Shhh. None of that. Take your clothes off for me. Why don’t you get your lube and lie on your side?”

  Bastian retrieved it from his bag and shucked his shirt off. “Where do you want me?” He had changed so much from the swaggering boy with the untucked shirt.

  Rob lay on his side and took Bastian in his arms, facing away from him. He held Bastian close, one arm wrapped under his neck and across his chest, but not before dribbling lots of lube onto his fingers. Bastian nestled into him and sighed contentedly. Rob began stroking his ass and his back suddenly arched. He whimpered with pleasure. “You like that?”

  “Mmm-hmm,” Bastian held onto Rob’s arm. “It feels so good, Daddy.”

  “I just want to give my boy what he needs. You need this after everything today, don’t you?”

  “I need it so bad. Please can I have more?”

  Rob stroked just on that perfect pucker, circling it, teasing it open for him. Oh God, Bastian was opening for him. He slipped a finger into his tight circle and pressed it, twisting it inside while Bastian moaned on him. It had been so long, but the act seemed so familiar, as if he’d done it yesterday. When he had Bastian opened and begging, Rob slipped another finger into him. Carefully and gently, he slid them up inside to find the right spot. Bastian shouted with pleasure. One of Bastian’s hands left his arm.

  “Bastian.” His voice dropped. “Are you touching your cock?”

  “Can I touch my cock?”

  “No. I want you to last. Stop it. And remember to ask permission first.” Rob stroked him inside and Bastian twisted on him wantonly.

  “But Daddy, it feels so good to play with it.”

  “Is everything that feels good always good for you?”

  “No.”

  “I want you to last for me, and your cock is mine.” Rob’s days as a dom crept back. “I get to say when you touch it. Do you understand me, Bastian? I’m your daddy, and I know better than you when you can get off and how.”

  “Okay, Daddy.” Bastian’s breathing had gone ragged with Rob stroking him.

  “Do you think you can take another one, sprite? Can you do that for me?”

  “Please? I want you to fuck me so bad.”

  Oh God he shouldn’t do it. He shouldn’t. But the idea of Bastian under him, Bastian begging him: he wanted it too much. The desire was overpowering. When’s your birthday? Halloween. Devil’s brat. Satan, the great tempter. So tempting to fuck this tight little ass, this perfect hole. If Rob believed in it he would have believed in it then, would have believed in God simply because he believed in his adversary. Rob dripped against Bastian.

  “Can I have your cock now? See how good I’m being? I feel you dripping on me. I know you wanna. You wanna fuck my little hole, don’t you, Daddy? You wanna use my ass to make your cock feel good? Because I want your cock to make me feel good, Daddy.”

  “Little tempter.” Oh God, it had been so long. He’d be so tight and hot on Rob.

  “I want it so bad. Pin me down and fuck me really slow. Can you hit that good spot? I know you’re good at it. I know you are. Please? I need it, Daddy.”

  His priestly self-control snapped. No longer Father, but Daddy, and his boy needed something from him. “I know you do, sprite. I know you do. Lie on your belly for me. You’ll like it best that way.” Rob would work better at that angle, too. He withdrew his fingers, loving the sight of Bastian stretched for him. Bastian turned.

  “You said you got tested?” Rob had to ask.

  “Yeah. And I wrapped it up with the girls, every single time.”

  “You want me to use a condom?”

  Bastian laughed, that laugh he’d heard in his classroom. “You been fucking around, Daddy-O?”

  Rob smacked his ass. Bastian squeaked. “Be respectful.”

  “I’m sorry, Daddy.” Bastian shifted and his delicious little ass wiggled.

  “For what?” Rob’s dick hardened further, partially from the lube he was rubbing on it, partially from spanking Bastian while his legs were spread, his puckered hole stretched for him, arched up slightly to take Rob’s cock.

  “For being disrespectful.”

  “You’re forgiven. Don’t do it again.”

  “Yes, Daddy.”

  He turned his tone gentle. “I can’t see your face, sprite. So you tell me if it hurts. Would you rather me stop and do it bit by bit, or keep going slowly?”

  “Do it all at once. Do it all at once and touch the good spot and stay there until it stops hurting. It won’t hurt much. You stretched me out really well.”

  “You felt how big I am.”

  “Uh-huh.”

  Rob sighed. “If that’s how you want it.” Against his better instincts, he positioned his cock at Bastian’s entrance and slid inside. Bastian gasped and tensed. “Breathe for me, sprite. Breathe for me. Relax on it. You’ll be fine.” But he kept going, and faster than he would want to, until he had nestled his cock against Bastian’s prostate. Then he laid on top of him. His thighs went over Bastian’s, keeping his legs between Rob’s, and Rob hooked his ankles back over Bastian’s calves, pulling his legs farther apart. He passed his arms under Bastian’s then back over them, holding him down. Bastian’s head bent to the side. Rob nuzzled into his neck, into the good smell of mint shampoo, still that last hint of chlorine. Bastian went limp and relaxed under him.

  And God he was tight, that ring tugging on Rob’s shaft, his heat enveloping him, the lube keeping him slippery. Absolutely fucking divine. Or something else. Rob couldn’t parse it out. It all muddled up and didn’t matter, only Bastian under him, only giving Bastian what he needed.

  “Daddy that’s so good.” Bastian sounded dreamy again. “That’s better than I thought it would be.”

  “What did you think it would be, silly?”

  “I feel so full but it’s so good.”

  “Does it hurt, honey?”

  “A little. Don’t move yet, Daddy.”

  Rob stayed still inside him. It was so difficult to keep from thrusting, from taking Bastian hard. Soon Bastian began to hum, to move on him. “Daddy, you feel so good. I feel so full and good and when I move you rub that good spot. Then my cock rubs against the bed, too and the sheets are so soft and oh god.”

  “Do you want me to move?”

  “Mmm-hmm.”

  Rob began slipping gently inside him. Bastian raised his ass up
to him and made little pleased sounds. “Do you like that, sprite? Talk to me. I love when you talk to me.”

  “Your cock’s so big in me, Daddy. Are you gonna come in me or are you gonna pull out? No one’s ever come in me. They all wore condoms. Am I gonna feel it, Daddy? Will it feel good?”

  Rob got harder every time Bastian called him “Daddy.” He never would have guessed he wanted it, but now that he had it, he craved it. “I’m going to fill you up with come, little sprite. I want it to drip down your thighs and make them sticky for me. Will you like that?”

  “Uh huh. I’ll like that so much.” He seemed to have trouble talking; his words turned to gasps as Rob fucked him harder. “Right there, Daddy. Right there. Please please right there, don’t stop. Am I being a sweet boy for you?”

  “You’re such a good boy for me. Look how you lift your ass to take it. Take my whole cock. Oh, what a sweet little angel. This was what you needed, wasn’t it?”

  “Uh-huh. I needed you to cuddle me, Daddy. I needed cuddled so bad and this is the best cuddling.”

  “It is, isn’t it, sweet baby? Is this how you like to be cuddled?”

  “This is Daddy cuddles, yeah. I like Daddy cuddles best. Oh god, Daddy. Please do it harder. Your cock’s so big in me.”

  Rob couldn’t last. That ring tugged at him; Bastian was so hot inside, and his cries just egged him on. He thrust hard, as hard as he dared, as deep as he dared, and lost it, lost it inside someone for the first time in only God or the devil knew how long. Buried deep inside Bastian, he spurted come into him, over and over, pumping it into him. Bastian raised his ass and took it, whimpering. “Oh Daddy, you feel so hot inside me. I can feel it.”

  Rob finally collapsed on top of him. He would have liked to wait for Bastian but it had been too long for him; he had gone too soon. He held Bastian, pinned and quiet, until he slipped slowly and carefully out of him.

  “I’m sorry. I wanted to —”

  “It’s okay. It felt so good. I liked it so much.”

  “C’mere, little sprite. Let me hold you and play with your cock. Do you want me to do it like last night? Or do you want me to spoon you?”