Scandal

by Stirk, Vivienne

  Ashleigh knew she had to lie. She mustn’t tell them what she knew. This was the only chance she’d have to salvage any bond with her mum. How she longed for that, longed for a normal mother-daughter relationship. Perhaps they could even go shopping or buy a cup of coffee in a cafe once in a while.

  “Will he go to prison?” Ashleigh asked after much deliberation.

  “If he’s found guilty then yes he will,” the officer announced. She stopped in her tracks, turning to face Ashleigh. “Just one last thing before I go.”

  “Yes. What is it?” Ashleigh asked nervously.

  “Did you hear your father mention anything at all to anyone about what he was planning to do?”

  By now Ashleigh’s palms were soaked with sweat. The tissue she’d fiddled nervously with was now just a pile of dust on the table. Not wanting to give anything away, she kept her eyes away from her mum. It seemed to take an eternity for her to speak; the slow response only adding tension in the room.

  “No,” she began. “I heard nothing.”

  “Thank you Ashleigh. We’ll see ourselves out.”

  As the door closed behind them it was as though the whole flat breathed a sigh of relief. Linda opened another bottle of gin, pouring herself a generous helping.

  “What do we do now mum? What if dad goes to prison?”

  Lighting another cigarette Linda drew hard on it, blowing smoke over her daughter as she spoke.

  “I’ll have to find work because your dad will go down for this. He was the one with the gun. Gregg was there to put the jewellery in the bag and drive the car. The stupid bastard, he can’t do owt right.” Ashleigh reached for her mum’s nicotine stained fingers, feeling she needed to show her support. “Get off,” Linda snapped, pulling her hand away as if her fingers had just been burnt.

  “We’re in this together mum. We have to help each other.”

  “Just keep quiet about what you know or you’ll end up in care.”

  A moment passed in silence as Ashleigh thought about the future. If she told the police about the conversation she’d overheard between her mum and dad, admitting she’d been suspicious, would Linda go to prison also? Would she herself get into trouble for lying or worse, be put into care?

  “I promise I won’t say anything mum.” Ashleigh knew this to be the truth. There was no way she could grass her mum up to the police.

  “Make sure you don’t. Now, do some toast and warm some beans up for tea. I’m starving.”

  Doing as she was told, Ashleigh struggled with the rusty can opener, cutting her finger a little on the lid. She began to warm the beans from the tin, sorry for her mum and herself that this was all they had to call their tea.

  The two sat opposite each other as they ate. Linda prodded and poked her measly meal, more interested in how empty her glass was to bother with her beans. Ashleigh ate hungrily. The toast was soggy from the ample serving of juice surrounding the cheap brand of beans, but once she’d cut off the mouldy bits, it was fine. Knowing Linda wouldn’t be eating her meal, she pulled the untouched food towards her, eating it quickly before Linda changed her mind.

  At least her stomach was lined with something, Ashleigh told herself as she proceeded to clear the table. The television was on loudly. Linda sat back in her chair, the half empty bottle of gin by her side. Ashleigh looked over at her, unsure of how her mum was feeling. She hadn’t shown much emotion really. Her puffy eyes had looked as though they’d cried fresh tears before Ashleigh had returned from school but she couldn’t be certain.

  Whilst in her room, Ashleigh thought it would be good if her mum did get a job. To get out of the house and meet people could be what she needed; a turning point in her life. But then she asked herself the question - how would she actually get a job? Knowing that her mum had gained few qualifications at school, if any, and not having worked since the day she left school at sixteen, the odds were greatly stacked against her.

  Her bedroom door remained unlocked that night, knowing Lee wouldn’t come in anymore to touch her. Now she could feel safe. How she hoped he’d go to prison.

  Ashleigh read some of her bible that evening, praying for guidance and strength for her mum and herself. Her parents had never been religious, had never gone to church once during their sorry lives. Ashleigh had never told them about the visits she’d occasionally made on a Sunday to St. Peter’s. She’d only been a couple of times but everything about the church and what it stood for intrigued her. The sheer beauty of the stained glass windows engulfed her, leaving her feeling safe and at peace. She’d always crept in during the service on Sunday mornings, keeping as quiet as a church mouse at the back. Not knowing what the priest had been talking about didn’t matter to her. It was the comfort her surroundings provided which appealed. The sense of security it wrapped her in temporarily took away some of the pain she felt.

  It was late in the night but she awoke, unable to sleep because of earlier events. Thinking about having to go to school later, she hoped nobody would know what had happened to her father the day before. She’d deny any gossip, that’s what she’d do. Her life at school was hard enough sometimes because of her parents.

  When she did eventually awaken from a restless night early the next morning, to the sound of voices, Ashleigh wondered what was going on. One voice sounded a lot like her mum’s, the other was deep and muffled. She could hear laughing also. A deep sense of dread filled her when she realised it must be her father. Could he have been released on bail? Tiptoeing out of bed, Ashleigh closed her bedroom door quietly, sliding the lock on. So much for feeling safe!

  The dry piece of bread Ashleigh had for breakfast that morning was washed down with water. When her mum came out of her room laughing, she enquired about her father.

  “Is dad back?”

  “No you silly cow, he’s in prison. Didn’t you hear the pigs tell you?”

  “I just thought I heard voices that’s all and thought he must be back.”

  “Well he isn’t,” she snapped.

  Ashleigh didn’t bother to say bye as she went to school. Picking up her school bag, she eyed a pair of large trainers by the door. They weren’t her fathers, certain he’d have his on. So whose were they? They didn’t smell too fresh either.

  The fresh air during her walk to school failed to clear her head. All she could think about were the voices she’d heard coming from her mum’s room. If it wasn’t her dad’s voice she could hear, then whose had it been?

  Before the school gate came into view, the first of the jibes came within ear shot. Pretending not to have heard, Ashleigh’s footsteps became smaller and quicker. The sign displaying the name of the school loomed nearer, meaning she’d soon be safe. Just as her foot was about to step onto school territory, a huge body blocked her path. It was a boy in the same year as Ashleigh who prevented her from entering school. His whole manner was intimidating to her. As his lips went back to speak, small decayed teeth showed themselves.

  “So, here you are. Hasn’t your old man been a bad boy?” There was only a group of four boys gathered around but it was enough to create an unpleasant scene.

  “Let me pass. I don’t know what you mean.”

  The head of the gang laughed mockingly. “Is that so?” He moved closer to her, the smell of his bad breath wafting under her nose. “Let me fill you in then shall I?” His words held a sense of iciness. The bully pushed Ashleigh back several steps. He spat his words out at her, his followers laughing. “Your good for nothing dad got greedy and tried to rob a jewellers but only having a small brain, it went wrong and he ended up shooting someone, dead.” His last word echoed in her ears. “The woman he killed was my Auntie. Did you know that?”

  “No,” Ashleigh stammered. “How could I?”

  “She’s dead now because of your dad. She was my Auntie, my mum’s sister and now my mum can’t stop crying.”

  Ashleigh didn’t know what to say. She remained transfixed to the spot, praying this nightmare would soon end. The bully wa
s now only inches from her face, determined to make Ashleigh pay for what her father had done. Suddenly feeling the updraft of his fist, she pulled her head into her hands, waiting for the blow.

  “What do you think you are doing Connors?” a voice boomed. The gang scarpered, leaving the bully Connors to face the music.

  “She deserves it sir,” he replied.

  “My office, now.”

  “Her dad killed my Aun…”

  “Now,” the teacher shouted. Connors didn’t look back. He skulked into school with his tail in between his legs.

  “Are you alright Ashleigh?” The teacher’s voice was more caring now as he walked towards her.

  Despite feeling shaken she replied, “I think so sir, thank you.”

  “Come and find me if you have any more trouble.”

  “Thank you, sir.”

  The bell rang for registration so Ashleigh hurried into school. Mr Dobins had saved her today but Ashleigh was sure he wouldn’t always be around just at the right time.

  Chapter Two

  The two years following Lee’s arrest had been a struggle for Ashleigh and her mum. Now at the age of seventeen, her school days were over. She’d passed her G.C.S.E’s, achieving good grades but being able to follow her dreams of going to Drama school wasn’t permitted. Linda had forced Ashleigh into finding work as soon as the ink had dried on the paper of her last exam. The best she could do was a café, walking into a job days after opening the envelope on her exam results.

  Ashleigh worked hard. Long hours meant a social life was out of the question. The friends made at school had long gone, most of them fleeing to college. Feeling more on her own than ever before, Ashleigh found life at the café a little grim but bearable. At least there was company and the owners were nice to her.

  The relationship between Linda and Ashleigh hadn’t improved at all since Lee was given life in prison. Found guilty of manslaughter and guilty of possessing a fire arm had cost him dearly. With his freedom gone and his family left high and dry, the remorse he felt for his actions was next to nothing. The family of the manageress killed at the hands of Lee cheered in the court room as the verdict of guilty was read out. Linda had broken down crying. Ashleigh had felt a sense of relief wash over her.

  The rate of pay at the café wasn’t much, but the many hours Ashleigh worked meant a decent wage was taken home each week. Extra tips came in handy and Reece the owner threw in a meal now and again for her. Ashleigh didn’t have much money to call her own once bills had been paid and food had been bought, but on the odd occasion, there was a little something left over.

  One Saturday, after work, she dared to go shopping around Leeds. With only ten pounds in her purse, she’d entered the large department store trembling with fear, eyes as wide as an excited child on Christmas morning. She’d dreamt of this day for so long. Her plain but small features had been untouched by makeup throughout her teenage years. The magazines occasionally left on the tables she cleared away at the café had intrigued her. With the faces of famous people plastered on every page, their clothes fine, hair glossy and makeup perfect, Ashleigh had wanted some of that too. Her hair, which was now shaped into a bob, was always kept neat and tidy but it was her complexion and eyes she wanted to experiment with. She wanted long eyelashes, painted lips and a complexion which made her look more alive.

  On that very afternoon as the automatic doors closed behind her, she knew she couldn’t turn back now. Nobody seemed to stare at her as she mulled her way through the many bodies. Unsure of where she was heading, Ashleigh went to the nearest makeup counter she could find. Nerves had now taken over as she stood looking at the abundance of makeup on offer. Glued to the spot, she began to feel confused as to why she was there. It was the sound of the lady behind the counter who made her turn around instead of walking towards the door and out into the rat race of life. Her voice was kind, Ashleigh thought as the lady spoke to her.

  “Hello. Would you like some help today?”

  There was a look in her eye which made Ashleigh feel she could trust her. Clearing her throat, Ashleigh spoke nervously.

  “I’ve never worn makeup before so I don’t know where to start looking.”

  Normally Ashleigh would have felt stupid admitting such a thing, afraid people would think her a freak. Not today though, not now. The assistant’s name badge caught Ashleigh’s eye. She was called Simone.

  “That’s okay,” Simone began. “What I can do, if you like, is to put some makeup on for you; try a couple of different shades just to see which colours you’d prefer.”

  Ashleigh thought for a moment. Her hand went to the purse in her pocket which held the ten pound note. Wondering how much it would all cost worried her, making her certain she wouldn’t have any money left afterwards to buy what she’d originally come in for. With a nervous look on her face, upset because as usual, things had gone wrong, Ashleigh knew she’d have to decline Simone’s kind offer.

  “I’m not sure I’ve enough money on me to have that done as well as buying some makeup.”

  “It’s okay. We don’t charge anything here for sample makeovers.”

  “Really?”

  “Yes really,” Simone confirmed with a broad smile. Ashleigh began to feel the day was just getting better and better as she sat on the stool in preparation to have makeup applied. Simone chattered casually as she applied soft colours to Ashleigh’s eyes. “I haven’t gone too dark with the shades of eye shadows and I’ve only used a light coloured foundation. Don’t worry, I’ll let you have a look in a mirror when I’ve finished.”

  Simone was only young, perhaps about twenty, not much older than Ashleigh but she couldn’t help feeling how much older than herself she seemed. She held confidence and looked like a real woman. Her breasts were well developed, Ashleigh noticed, not like her own small cupped ones. With beautifully long, manicured nails, her hands looked slender and elegant. Ashleigh had to keep her nails short for work which only left her fingers feeling short and stubby. The red stiletto heeled shoes Simone wore showed up the tatty trainers Ashleigh wore, making her tuck her feet underneath the buffet out of sight. Ashleigh couldn’t help comparing her own hair with Simone’s. Her short bob was nothing special, always wearing it with a kink at the back where she found it hard to style. Having read about straightening irons in magazines, Ashleigh knew they’d be the right tool for the effect she wanted for her hair. Money would never stretch to such luxuries, of that she was certain. She did like the colour of her hair though, with its soft blondes and warmer caramel shades. Simone’s hair was a very dark brown and hung in long curls. It was the kind of hair every girl dreamed of having, including Ashleigh. On that very day, as she sat having makeup applied, she made a vow to herself to grow her hair long. Perhaps it would make her look a little more feminine, perhaps catching the attention of males, just like Simone.

  The sound of Simone’s voice broke Ashleigh’s thoughts. “Would you like to have a look now?”

  “Yes please.”

  The girl who looked back at her in the mirror didn’t look like the girl who’d walked into the shop twenty minutes earlier. She was really pleased with the result, feeling that somewhere within her was a girl who could look half decent.

  “What do you think?” Simone asked.

  “I love it, thank you.”

  “Good. Those colours really suit your hazel eyes. They look beautiful. I bet your boyfriend is bedazzled by your eyes and prominent cheek bones.”

  A blush to the cheeks didn’t go unnoticed by Simone.

  “I don’t have a boyfriend actually,” Ashleigh admitted.

  There was a genuine look of surprise on Simone’s face as she replied, “Really? Well mark my words sweetheart, you will if you go out looking like that.”

  Ashleigh felt Simone was just being kind. She’d never had any male attention at school, why should a touch of makeup change anything? Boys had never shown her any interest, other than to mock her and name call. With her small frame
and plain face, most had just teased her, telling her time after time how she looked like a boy.

  As Simone cleared away the samples of makeup, Ashleigh looked for the colours that had been used on her. The double eye shadow was four pounds and ninety nine pence, the mascara half price at four pounds. This meant she wouldn’t have enough money for the soft pink lipstick. Simone watched as Ashleigh put the lipstick back, feeling a little stab of sorrow touch her. She liked Ashleigh, knew she wasn’t quite as lucky as a lot of girls her own age who would have money bulging from their purses every week. Not having enough money was the story of Ashleigh’s life, once again making her feel extremely uncomfortable. Simone could see how Ashleigh was contemplating which makeup to put back and what she could afford.

  “I’ll tell you what I’ll do, as long as you promise me you’ll come back to see me if you ever need any advice on makeup.”

  “I promise,” she replied, a little unsure of what Simone’s offer would be.

  “I will give you the colours I used on you.”

  “You can’t do that. You’ll get sacked.”

  “I promise I won’t. They’re only samples that would get thrown away. Please take them. I want you to have them.”

  Unsure of why she always managed to become a charity case, she took the makeup gratefully.

  “Thank you Simone.”

  It had been the first time Ashleigh had said Simone’s name and as the words left her lips, she cringed, thinking she’d been too familiar with this kind stranger. Simone searched Ashleigh’s face, wondering who the lost soul was inside this young girl.