Trickster Noir (Pixie for Hire Book 2)

by Cedar Sanderson

  “Reportin’ in, Ma’am!”

  “Did you find them?” she asked quietly, leaning in the doorway to her room so she could talk and not disturb the guy’s show. Might as well let them relax a bit before morning’s exertions.

  “Oh, aye. Well, pre’y soor.” Bella felt the shrug that went with that.

  “‘T enny rate, we located a t’ird cave t’ats no on t’maps. An’ we set you up w’a date to meet our pal.”

  Bella snorted. “I’m taken. When and where?”

  “”T’ere’s a place oot o’ town. He canna cum inna town. He said ‘bout moon-up, meet t’ere.”

  “I figured as much. Thanks.”

  Ewan, who seemed relieved she wasn’t going to make him talk more, flew back to his brothers, whom she hadn’t heard speak at all. For all their rowdy ways, they were a quiet bunch. Bella retreated into her room and looked out the window into the dark, wondering when moon-up was going to be, and who she would take with her. Dean made the most sense, and rather than risk his driving she’d bubble them.

  This time when she walked into the room Dan muted the TV.

  “What’s the plan?”

  She shook her head. “After dinner, I’m going to go meet the trouble triplet’s buddy.”

  Iver, she thought it was, laughed out loud at her nickname for them. Bella went on, “I was thinking I’d take Dean, no point in frightening him with all you lot.”

  Fred spoke up. “I’d like to come along, actually. If he’s native to this area, I may have a rapport with him.”

  Bella nodded at him. “Good thought. Dean, can you follow along and make yourself inconspicuous during the meet?”

  He nodded emphatically. Her cousins looked unhappy. “Sorry, guys, but I don’t know how I’d hide you.”

  The knocking at the door made them all jump. It was easy to forget, Bella mused as Dean herded her into her room while Dan went to see who it was, how much tension they were all feeling. It almost had to be the pizza guy, but careful was a good thing. She could smell the pizza, and smiled at Dean.

  “We need to talk, and soon.”

  He looked faintly surprised. “About?”

  “Don’t play coy with me. You just pulled a bodyguard move on me. And you know things that you shouldn’t possibly know.”

  He opened his mouth as Dan stuck his head in the door and announced cheerfully, “Dinner!”

  Bella slipped past the unmoving Dean, who appeared deep in thought, and went for the stack of boxes. Her cousins were making appreciative noises that meant they were hungry.

  The sprites, who had somehow found a football game on television- she would have said soccer, but they hooted in laughter when Tex said that, so she didn’t - didn’t join in the dinner. She did see a flask make the rounds, and hoped she could trust Dean on them not being able to get drunk.

  “All righty no’!” Ewan hopped up and stomped on the remote, switching the game off over his brother’s protests. “Tis time.”

  Fred stood up and looked expectantly at Bella. She looked at Dean. “If I bubble us, what are the chances of being seen?”

  Ewan answered. “We’ll go along. Tis out in t’ woods pret’ fur.”

  Dean nodded. “If it’s away from people then you should be fine. Yes, they are visible from the outside and that’s why you’re not supposed to use them above.” He shrugged, “But we’re not exactly following the rules.”

  Big Hairy Deal

  Bella gestured and threw a bubble around herself, the sprites, and a startled Fred. Ewan landed on her shoulder and added his own spell gestures to give a destination, and she could feel the gentle jar as the bubble landed. Dropping the bubble, she looked around, and when the motion in the corner of her eye got her attention, she jumped back and pulled the .380 she was carrying concealed.

  “Stop!” she ordered, not expecting the monster who was shambling toward them to listen. To her surprise, it threw its long arms in the air and cried out.

  “Whoa, lady, don’t shoot!”

  She lowered the gun slowly, aware that Iver, or Callum, had flown to sit on the hairy shoulder of... She let the gun fall to her side. Reholstering it would wait, as it wasn’t a discreet process.

  “Ewan, is this... your friend?”

  The big, hairy, stooped frame supported an oddly-shaped head that now swiveled toward the sprite hovering in midair between them. “You didn’t warn her? Man, that’s cold. I mean, you bastards... pardon the language, lady... have a wicked sense of humor, but still.”

  He shuffled a few steps closer to her and offered a hand. “You must be Princess Belladona. Ah’m Gary.”

  Bella switched the pistol to her other hand and shook, her hand engulfed in that of what she would swear was a Sasquatch. He looked at Fred, and she introduced them.

  “This is Fred Northway, he’s...”

  “You’re a shaman, aren’t you?” Gary sounded inquisitive, although Bella couldn’t see much emotion under all the matted fur. He didn’t smell like anything other than moss and earth, unlike some of the stories she’d heard.

  Fred held out his hand. “And you are one of the Old Ones.”

  Gary ducked his head a bit in a gesture Bella presumed was shy. “Aw, don’t marsh my mellow, man. I’m just a kid, really. Now, M’gramps...”

  The malapropism making her lips twitch in a suppressed smile, Bella turned away slightly and holstered her pistol. She doubted this calibre would have done anything but pissed this behemoth off, but it was good to have.

  “Gary, the sprites say you know about the ogres?”

  He scowled deeply, his face twisting into monstrosity. “I do. I can take you right to them, or at least their nest. The hunters... are harder to predict. They are foul, horrible...” He shuddered.

  Bella relaxed. Whatever he looked like, they had an aligning cause. “We want to root them out entirely. Right now the plan is to use fire, trap them in their cave and suffocate them. But I need to make sure they are all inside when we do that. If you can track them, and keep watch...”

  She wasn’t sure how much of the action he would want in on. He wasn’t human, and she guessed that if his kind had eluded certain detection for this long, they weren’t the cocky types. But there was a lot about this bigfoot she didn’t know, starting with his excellent English and obvious education.

  Gary scratched his head, a process involving copious amounts of flying fur. “Well, we’ve been keeping an eye on them, but the decision was made by the elders to not fight them.”

  “You wouldn’t be. Just letting my team know where and when.” Bella assured him. The sprites were uncharacteristically silent.

  Fred broke in. “Would it help if I spoke to the Elders?”

  Gary shifted from foot to foot. Bella stayed silent, looking around the woods. They were on the edge of an irregular clearing, which she realized slowly was made by the fall of a forest giant. The tree was almost gone now, a rounded hump covered with mosses. The light was from the full moon that had risen high enough for illumination while they were talking. She caught a flicker of movement just inside the shadowy woods and stiffened, reaching for her weapon.

  “Gary, who is out there?”

  Another Sasquatch, his coat grizzled with age, stepped out of the shadows. He was holding both his hands out, palm upward, in what Bella thought was a peaceful gesture.

  “Gíistgaay gúust uu dáng k'wáalaagang?” He spoke in a guttural language she didn’t immediately recognize.

  “Um...” Bella half-turned toward Fred and Gary.

  “He wants to know what tribe you are with.” Fred offered. “He’s speaking Haida.”

  “Oh. Tell him I am Summer Court, of the Fae, Underhill. I have no idea how much they know about us, if anything. Don’t translate that part.”

  Gary chuckled softly, a noise like a running brook. “He might know more than you would guess. This is our eldest Elder.”

  Fred spoke to the senior Sasquatch, who did not come any closer. Bella stoo
d where she was, afraid to spook the creature. If they had contact with the local tribes like the Haida, who were almost vanished, that would explain a lot about Gary. Even if only their elders communicated with the Sasquatch community, almost none of the Haida even spoke Haida anymore. It would only be natural to teach the Sasquatch English. She stifled her nervous giggle. It was a surreal scene, even for her, standing in the moonlit woods with two huge, furry people. They were people, she told herself. Fred turned to look at her.

  “We have their blessing, if not full support, in taking out the ogres. Gary is allowed to help with the watching, but is forbidden to be seen by any humans, that is their law.”

  “Dan and Tex?”

  He shook his head firmly. “Even I am only tolerated because of my connection to Ya’ahl, their name for Raven.”

  “That complicates things. Still...” she turned to Gary. “I am glad to have your help.”

  She could hear Fred speaking to the Elder, then he fell silent. When she looked, the old Sasquatch was gone again. How something that big moved that quietly was beyond her. Moose and grizzlies made more noise in the woods.

  She took a deep breath. “In the morning, can you meet us near the ogre cave? We will use the sprites for communication, and you can stay out of sight, yes?”

  He nodded happily, a big grin on his ugly face. “Works for me.”

  Bella gave in to her curiosity. “How on earth did you learn to speak English so well?”

  He put a finger alongside his flattened nose and winked. “Old Haida tradition, teach the beasts and they teach you. That, and mail-order curriculum.”

  Bella laughed. Gary turned and walked away, as silent as his elder, and she pulled the bubble around Fred and herself. A moment later, they were in the hotel suite. Fred was looking thoughtful.

  “We have eyes in the woods.” Bella told her cousins. “You won’t see him, but remember. Ugly and green, foe. Ugly and hairy, friend. Got that?”

  They nodded, eyes wide. She chuckled. “Now, I’m going to sleep. Shopping in the morning.”

  On the Job Training

  Bella’s alarm woke her early. She rolled out of bed and sat on the edge, rubbing her eyes. All the travel and stress of the day before had caught up with her. She’d lain down thinking she wouldn’t sleep and had fallen into the darkness almost before completing that thought. Now she was groggy and really wanted more sleep. But first... she reached for the laptop and her glasses.

  It seemed to take forever to boot up, but she was rewarded with a little chime and a waiting message from Devon.

  :Hi! Everything’s good here, Melcar was able to give Uncle Lom a healing spell, and he stood up by himself this morning. We’ve been walking together a lot, and went all the way into the hall this afternoon.:

  Bella smiled and felt her heart twist, remembering the pixie she’d first met, tossing a snow machine out of a hole in the river ice as deep as he was. That casual display of strength, then the way he’d risked his life for her in the logging truck... that he was reduced to barely being able to leave his own room was no doubt eating at him. She typed quickly.

  :Good Morning. I’m going shopping. Do you need anything you can’t get Underhill?:

  There was no immediate response, but she would check again later. She shut down the computer and got dressed quickly. Time to go get some toys.

  Dan had gotten up even earlier, it seemed, and there was a box of coffee, which puzzled her at first, until she figured out the spout system, and a flat box full of not the donuts she’d expected but breakfast sandwiches.

  “Figured proteins was a good idea this morning.”

  “Thanks,” Bella told him as she cradled the steaming cup and inhaled. “I was thinking...”

  “A dangerous past-time,” he assured her with any hint of a smile obscured by the beard.

  Bella glared at him. Tex staggered into the room. “Coffee?”

  Dan poured him a cup and the tall man folded into the chair he’d claimed as his own. “If you want the supplies for a thermobaric weapon, and don’t want to set up too many law enforcement flags, we should split up.”

  “That is what I was thinking. I can use magic to detonate, and if we had more time, I’d order or smuggle in proper weapons and a supply of white phosphorous to enrich our bomb with, but,” she shrugged. “I really don’t want to risk another person being taken.”

  Dean walked into the room, looking grim. “Too late. Turn on the news.”

  Dan found the remote and clicked. They all stared at the screen where a blonde talking head standing in what was likely the parking lot of one of the many hiking trails around the park broke the news to her viewers that another hiker had gone missing. Her perfectly coiffed hair and wooden appearance were at odds with her words and pseudo-concerned tone.

  “Turn her off, she sounds like a cat whose tail is being stomped on.” Bella finally spoke. “Ok, guys, we have no time, and a complication.”

  “No, we don’t. If you’re worried about that man, he’s gone already. We just can’t wait, we need to move on the nest.” Dean spoke calmly.

  Bella glared at Dean. “We cannot risk that he is still alive when we bomb the cave. I’m already unhappy about the bats.”

  “Bats?” Dean echoed, incredulous.

  “The bat population is having health problems. And we are going to disrupt it further with this.” Bella knew she sounded like an ass, but it was something she had considered.

  “This is a concern for you?” His voice was flat even as he questioned her.

  “I’m a wildlife biologist, dammit. I wasn’t going to try too hard to find an ecologically sound way to kill ogres but not bats, but it did factor into my plan, yes.” Bella put her hands on her hips. “But a human might still be alive in there.”

  He shook his head. “No, Bella. He’s gone.”

  “Were you there?” She demanded.

  “Close enough.” This rocked her back. She didn’t know where he had been the night before, other than, she presumed, observing the meeting with Gary. She’d gone to bed the night before without seeing him.

  “What happened?”

  “I wasn’t looking for the hiker, didn’t know he was there. I was following Gary. A bit of don’t-see-me and a tracker spell,” Dean shrugged. “We were both too far away to stop it. The ogre ripped open the tent and broke the guy’s neck before he even had time to scream. I’m sorry.”

  Bella shook her head. “You’re right, you couldn’t have stopped it, and they hunt in packs, so if you saw one, there was another.” She left out a deep sigh. “Ok, the plan stands. Everyone buys a propane tank. Biggest you can get. We are going to blow these suckers the hell up.”

  She stomped toward the door, dry-eyed and furious. She should have moved as soon as they got here. Her slowness had gotten a man killed.

  “How are we getting to the cave?”

  “We’re all meeting outside of town in two hours, and then I will take it from there. Dean, come with me, please.”

  She walked out into the hall and he followed her. When he started to speak, she raised a finger to stop him.

  “In the car.” He fell silent, and she took the stairs, needing the physical effort to clear her mind.

  She didn’t give him the keys, but opened the driver’s door and got in. He stood and looked at her for a moment, then walked around and got in. She didn’t start the engine.

  “I’m going to use as much magic as I need to get this mess cleaned up. You’re not going to stop me. Got it?”

  He nodded. “Never had any intention of stopping you.”

  “No, but you were going to report back on my actions, weren’t you?”

  He took a deep breath and looked away. Bella sighed. “You have kept an eye on Lom for how many years now? Did he know?”

  “How do you...?”

  “You know about my having bubbled the boys from Alaska to the door Underhill. Only person that knew about that was Alger and he told them not to talk abou
t it. So only Alger could have told you. And Lom’s relationship with his former teacher, and uncle, hasn’t always been... friendly.”

  “So what do you want from me?” He looked at her, his face almost serious, but his eyes were smiling.

  “Your help. I want to wipe these monsters off the face of the earth, and you get to decide later what you tell Alger, the king... whoever you report to.” Bella opened the car door and got out.

  “Meet us in two hours.” She told him through the open door, and walked toward the van Dan had rented.

  Bella rode in the back with Tex. Fred was sitting next to Dan, and she wanted to get her focus back after confronting Dean.

  “So what do you want us to do, once we get to the cave?” he asked her once they were on the road.

  “We’re going to have to put the fuel a good way in the cave so I can get it ignited where it will do the most damage. The trick is going to be doing that in a way that doesn’t get their attention.”

  He nodded, “And you can use some o’ your magic to keep them from seein’ us?”

  “I think so.” Bella sighed. “I will do my very best. And I’m not sure you will be coming in there.”

  He looked surprised, and she shook her head. “I need someone doing overwatch with the big gun.”

  “What big gun? Dan and I both brought our rifles.”

  “Yes, but I have a surprise for you,” she looked out the window. “Ah, the hardware store, a girl’s best friend.”

  “You’re a strange girl, you know that.” Tex assured her as she climbed out.

  Bella was still laughing when they got into the store. She had a list, so they were in and out fast, checking out at different kiosks to keep the true extent of their purchases discreet. Back to the van, Bella realized that this was fun.

  “One more stop on my spree, and then we get to go play in the woods. This is the fun part, that part may be wet and muddy.”

  Fred looked up at the sky. It was overcast, but not raining at the moment. “I think it will be dry enough. And with your abilities, no need to walk too much.”