Magic and Mayhem: Witchin' Impossible 3: Familiar Protocol (Kindle Worlds Novella) (Witchin' Impossible Mysteries)

by Renee George

  Ford smoothed his hair back from his eyes. “Hazel.”

  A chiming tune of Do You Believe In Magic began to play through the house. It was the doorbell. I pivoted to Tiz. “You’ve got to go.”

  She nodded and disappeared.

  “I’m going to get dressed,” Ford said. He headed back down the hall to the foyer. I heard his heavy footfalls against the stairs as he ascended to the second floor.

  I was on my own with whomever was at the door. The chimes began again. “I’m coming!”

  My stomach knotted as I looked through the peephole. I saw nothing and no one. I stepped back. Weird. The doorbell sounded again. Hellfire and brimstone, was I being haunted? Again?

  When the doorbell started once more, I flung the door open. “Who’s out here?”

  “It took you long enough, Ms. Kinsey,” a low, low booming voice from the area of my feet said.

  I looked down. Sitting on my stoop was a fluffy snowball-looking cat the size of a grapefruit. “What are you supposed to be? The king of the itty bitty kitty committee? And do you pay James Earl Jones for your voice over work, because, damn, son, you got a deep voice.”

  “You insolent witch. I’ll have you know, I’m Leonidus the Enforcer, a teacup Persian, and a hired gun for the High Familiar Clowder.”

  My Goddess, he was feisty for something no bigger than Ford’s palm. I resisted the urge to pick him up. His cuteness was that overwhelming. “You are delightfully cute. Has anyone ever told you that?”

  “I am not cute, you overgrown witch. You will treat me with respect?”

  “Or what?” I guffawed. “You’ll take away my magic? Or wait. That already happened. Hit the road, Frosty.”

  “Ha ha,” the cat said. “We need to talk.”

  “Uh, do you have a mouse in your pocket? Because there is no we.” I closed the door. When a turned to walk away, a booming thunder shook the walls. Chunks of wood hit my back and knocked me down. I face-planted the floor. “What the fu—”

  A white cloud of evil cuteness put his tiny paw over my mouth. “You have no choice in this. You will talk to me.”

  “Look here, mini-Darth, you’re going to pay for that door.” I tried to get up, but it was as if someone stuck me to the ground with Super Glue. My limbs refused to move. I fought against panic. “Get your toes off me, Stay-Puff.”

  Four claws poked into my upper lip. “I don’t think you understand the damage I can do to you.” He retracted his claws. “But you’ll learn.”

  I forced a smile, trying to ignore the blood droplets peppering my upper lip. “You’re even more endearing when you go all tyrant. Just like a miniature Napoleon.”

  “Napoleon wasn’t that short,” Leonidus quipped. “He just surrounded himself with tall people.”

  “Sure.” I would have nodded if my neck wasn’t paralyzed as well. “Whatever you say.”

  “You can keep being a smart-aleck, or you can talk to me.”

  “This is how I talk.”

  A roar from the staircase stirred the wind in the foyer to blow the teacup Persian’s hair around. He turned his gaze to where the roar had originated then back to me, his jade green eyes wide.

  “There’s a giant bear on the steps, isn’t there?” I couldn’t look, obviously. Not with my body paralyzed, but I knew the sound of Ford fully-shifted into werebear form.

  “Will he try to eat me?”

  I blinked because it was the only expression I could pull off. Stupid cat had paralyzed every part of me but my mouth and eyes. “And risk getting a furball caught in his throat? Yes, I think he will.” I blinked again. “Let me up, and I’ll put in a good word for you.”

  I could feel the heat from Ford’s large body as he rumbled his way toward us.

  “Fine,” Leonidus said. “Let her go!” he shouted out the door. Feeling came back to my body. I rose up on my elbows and crane my neck to watch the huge bear taking menacing steps in our direction.

  Leonidus gave me a sharp glare. “This isn’t over.”

  I sat up, stretched my shoulders, and gave the hairy Mussolini my best, I don’t give a flying fig look. “Fix the door on your way out.” I waved with just my fingers. “Buh-bye.”

  The minute the mini-mop skated out the empty space where my door used to be, all the wood that had broken apart reformed into a solid piece of Victorian craftsmanship.

  I heard bone crunching and sucked in my breath. Ugh. I hated the sounds Ford’s body made as it remade itself from man to animal and back to man, but…

  Hubba, hubba. Ford sat on stairs now, completely naked, and I mean completely. Hot diggity. I wiped the corner of my mouth to make sure I wasn’t drooling.

  Ford shook his head. “Who was that tiny tyrant.”

  “Leonidus the Enforcer.” I walked over to him and straddled his thighs.

  He met my gaze, stroking my hair from my shoulder. “You’re kidding.”

  I slid my hand down his chest. “Would I do that?”

  “You would.” He ran his fingers through my hair. “You have some blood above your lip.” He licked the claw marks, tasting me. “I’m going to kill that little bastard.” His eyes softened at the corners. “I don’t know what I’d do if anything happened to you.” He cupped the back of my head and tugged, bending my neck back, to run his lips over my skin.

  I moaned, my va-jay-jay screaming yay-yay, as I ground my groin against his. Since he was naked, his arousal writhed between us. The look in his eyes was pure lust.

  Ford yanked my shirt over my head, his lips finding their way beneath my collar bone and…

  “Oh. My. Goddess!” Tizzy shrieked. “I am in crisis here, and you two are boning like porn stars.”

  I grabbed my shirt to cover Ford’s erection. It looked like a camping tent for mice. “We weren’t boning,” I protested. Not yet, anyhow. If she’d have given us a few more minutes, we would have totally boned.

  “I don’t have time for your horny nonsense,” Tizzy said. This coming from a squirrel who was ruled by her hormones. “I. Am. Freaking. Out.”

  “Did something else happen?”

  Tizzy’s brown eyes grew large and glassy. “Lupitia.”

  “What about Loser-ita?”

  Her lower lip quivered, and she sobbed, “Lupitia is gone, Haze. She’s vanished off the face of the earth.”

  Chapter Four

  “ARE YOU SURE she didn’t run away on her own.” Ford had gone upstairs and put on clothes, while Tiz and I sat in the kitchen. I poured myself a cup of coffee, wishing I had a couple of Xanax to go with it.

  Tizzy prostrated herself on the center island. “She wouldn’t have run away.”

  “Not even to hide?”

  “She was hiding! I had a tree all set up for us out in the woods near the waterfall. I even packed in her favorite foods. I didn’t even complain about the stinky salmon.”

  “Maybe she decided to try her luck on her own.”

  “I can’t feel her, Haze.” Tizzy looked tired. Worn down. “Our bond. It’s weakening. I can’t feel her and…I can’t feel you.”

  “Those stupid cats,” I muttered. “This is exactly the reason your better off without—”

  “Don’t say it,” Tizzy cried. “I’m not better off without her. Or you.”

  “Did you know you were breaking the rules when you asked me to let Loopty-loo live with us?”

  “No.” My familiar averted her gaze and nodded her head. “Yes.”

  “Damn it, Tiz.” I smacked the counter. “We’ve got no leg to stand on if the chowder is in the right.”

  “Clowder.” She gave me a sour look. “I didn’t think they’d find out, but when I started gaining witch magic…” She shrugged.

  “What do you mean by witch magic?”

  “You know.” She wiggled her pretty pink nails at me, poofed out of sight, then poofed back, only she was on the other side of the center island now. “Witch magic.”

  Goddess help us. “I knew you were getting stronger with your
powers, but you didn’t tell me they were beyond your normal familiar stuff. I just thought you were super juiced.”

  “So let me get this straight,” Ford said as he entered the room. “The squirrel broke the rules, you lost your magic, and now are mate scent is gone. Does that about cover it?”

  He wore jeans, an emerald green T-shirt, and boots. In other words, clothing that actually fit. I still wanted to know why he’d arrived home in such disarray, but that could wait until we figured out my familiar problem.

  “So glad Fuzzy Wuzzy is up to speed,” Tizzy said. “Now, what are we going to do about, Haze? What’s the big plan?”

  “First…I’m going to finish this cup of coffee.” I took a sip. “Ow.” And burned my lip. And, because I was human for the moment, it really hurt.

  “Are you okay?” Ford asked.

  “I’m fine.” Really, though, but all these little pains that I wouldn’t normally be bothered with freaked me out.

  “The plan?” Tizzy prodded.

  “Well, first, we need to get a hold of that rule book. The one sheet they showed me had a gazillion-million clauses, sub-clauses, and whatever, so there has to be a loophole we could exploit somewhere.”

  She three up her hands. “That’s your big play. You want to go all legal eagle on the HFC?”

  I winced. “I’m smart. And I was an FBI agent for a lot of years. I have training in the law.”

  “In criminal law, not familiar protocols.” Tizzy stomped her back feet. It sounded like rain. “We need a better plan.”

  “It wouldn’t hurt to be versed in the rules,” Ford said. “You need ammunition.”

  “I’m not a gun.” Tizzy harrumphed.

  “Look, as long as we keep you off the HFC’s radar, we have seventy-two hours.” I looked at the clock. “Well, more like sixty-eight hours to figure this out before the situation becomes dire.” Wow, four hours had passed. I wished I had a spell to slow down time.

  “What does that mean?” Ford asked.

  I eased back and let out a slow breath. With as much nonchalance as I could muster, I said, “If they don’t have Tizzy in custody in that time frame, and I don’t accept a new familiar, my human status will be permanent. No biggie.” I stood up, suddenly jittery and wishing I’d skipped the caffeine nightcap.

  I braced myself for the wrath of Ford. After all, he’d been might growly for the past several weeks, and more than once since he’d arrived home today I keenly felt his disapproval. Instead, he walked over to me and pulled me into his arms.

  “We’ll get through this, babe.” He cupped my chin and placed a tender kiss on my lips. “We’ll figure this out.”

  Relief flooded me, and I gripped Ford tightly. “I love you,” I told him.

  In response, he kissed me again, his hot lips melding against mine. I wanted nothing more than to freeze the moment and stay in his arms, our mouths pressed together in an eternal kiss.

  “Great, glad we’re wasting time on the,” Tizzy finger quoted the next word, “important matters. I’m very inspired.”

  “I’m having a bad day,” I told her. “Can you give me a break?” I shook my head. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that. I know this isn’t all about me. This thing affects all of us.”

  “Damn skippy. Like that fact that my girlfriend is missing, possibly worse. Now, how are we going to find Lupitia? That’s priority one.”

  “I am still the chief of police. I can call in an all-points bulletin.” I looked at Ford. “Who’s on tonight?”

  “Alice Michaels and Rhonda Petry. Rhonda’s a pretty good tracker.”

  Alice, a witch, and her partner Rhonda, a werecougar, worked well together. They didn’t let Witch-Shifter politics get in the way of doing solid police work.

  I nodded to Ford. “Okay. It’s settled then. I’ll call the station. Tiz, you figure out some way to get the damn rule book. And Ford…”

  “I’ll call my father.”

  “You’re dad?”

  “He’s a business lawyer. If anyone could translate legal speak, it’s him.”

  “There.” I gave a nod to Tiz. “We have a plan.”

  ****

  By three o’clock in the morning, we’d called it a night. My officers would ring me if they found the cat. We agreed not to talk to Bryant Baylor, Ford’s dad until we had the familiar rule book in hand. Well, I whined, complained, and bemoaned until Ford agreed. While his mother Anita loved me, Bryant didn’t approve of his son, heir to the Arcturus, marrying a witch.

  I tried not to think about the fact that the only thing Bryant would hate more than his son marrying a witch was his son marrying a human.

  Ford wrapped his arms around me when we’d settled into the bed. The clock read three-thirty, which meant, I only had sixty hours left to solve my familiar crisis. Twelve hours had passed since I’d lost my magic, since I’d faced the possibility of losing Tiz, and in that time, I’d accomplished diddly-squat. I take that back, diddly-squat would have been a step up from the absolute nothingness I’d accomplished.

  “Penny for your thoughts.”

  “Inflation,” I reminded him. I snuggled my face into his chest and tried to comfort myself in his warmth and steady heartbeat.

  “A nickel?” he prodded.

  “I don’t have any idea how to make this right.”

  He ran his fingers down my back in soothing strokes. “Sleep now. In a few hours, we’ll work on making this right. Tonight, you need to rest.”

  I curled my body in tighter to him and inhaled deeply. Ford smelled of strawberry shampoo and raspberry body wash. I sighed. I already missed the scent of cinnamon and vanilla that normally permeated my senses when he was near. “What will happen if the mating scent doesn’t return?”

  “We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it.”

  “But, you were supposed to marry Greta.” Greta was another bear Shifter in town. She’d dated Ford in high school. Everyone always expected the quarterback and his cheerleader to mate. But I got drunk at a high school party and changed his life with one sloppy kiss. It turned out, he’d caught my scent. I’d moved away from Paradise Falls for seventeen years, never realizing that I’d ruined his life.

  “Greta was a long time ago.”

  “Maybe this could be your chance.” The words stuck in my throat. I’d loved Ford since my sophomore year of high school, but he never even knew who I was until fate forced him to pay attention.

  The muscles in his arms bunched, squeezing me hard enough to hurt. “My chance for what?”

  “Ease up, Ford. Without my magic, I’m as fragile as a human.”

  He relaxed his hold. “What are you saying, Haze?”

  “I’m saying, you didn’t have a choice when it came to me. If I hadn’t kissed you on a dare, you would have had a whole ‘nother life. One that involved bear cubs. One that would have made your dad happy.”

  “Oh, because the mate scent is the only reason I’m with you, right?” He sounded angry.

  I pressed on. “Maybe.”

  Ford abruptly let me go. He got out of bed, put on his boxers, and grabbed his pillow. “We don’t even know if this is permanent, and you’re already trying to get rid of me.”

  “I’m not trying to get rid of you. It’s the last thing I want. It’s just…”

  “You don’t believe that I love you. That it’s all chemical.” He shook his head then turned his back on me.

  “Where are you going?”

  “To think,” he said. “Isn’t that what you wanted?” He slammed the bedroom door on his way out.

  “Great,” I muttered. What I really wanted was to be back in his arms where it felt safe. I spent the next twenty minutes crying myself to sleep.

  Chapter Five

  AT SEVEN-THIRTY IN the morning, I woke up. Alone. Ford’s pillow was back, which meant he’d come in some time while I was sleeping, probably to get his clothes. I had fifty-six hours now to figure out the situation with Tizzy and her gal pal.

 
Neither Alice or Rhonda had called me, which meant Drops-of-Lupiter was still missing. I had to consider that the HFC might already have her. I mean, Leonidus, for a little guy, was pretty powerful. Maybe he and his witch, because I’m sure he had one lurking nearby when he’d paralyzed me, could have cast a strong location spell. At least, that’s what I would have done if I still had my powers.

  If the clam chowder had Loopity-doo, how long would it take to use her to get to Tiz? I couldn’t let that happen.

  Feeling stiff, I stretched. The bones in my shoulders popped. The right one hurt from where I’d slept on it. And my back, where the door hit had blasted me, hadn’t hurt too badly when I went to bed, but now it felt like a solid bruise. I sat up, my lower back complaining as I straightened.

  Something wasn’t right. I’d never woke up with these kinds of pains before.

  I dangled my legs over the side of the bed. My knees hurt too. Why did I feel like someone had come in during the night and beat the crap out of me?

  My hair fell forward as I pushed myself to a stand. Strands of gray, not much, but enough to get my attention, peppered my black hair.

  My heart pounded against the inside of my chest, and my breath became labored as I stumbled to the master bathroom. I grabbed the vanity counter to steady myself, turned on the light, and gasped at what I saw in the mirror.

  It wasn’t the tiny scabs starting to form over the claw marks or the red bruise on my cheek. No. It was worse than wounds. Fine lines etched my brow, the corners of my eyes had the start of crow’s feet wrinkles, my lips looked a little less plump, and the creases in my neck had deepened. I gasped again as I noted tiny black whiskers at the corner of my mouth and one under my chin.

  “Noooooooo!” I yelled. I moved closer to the mirror, which only made the detail blurry. I touched my face. The texture of my skin had lost its youthful smoothness.