Magic and Mayhem: Witchin' Impossible 3: Familiar Protocol (Kindle Worlds Novella) (Witchin' Impossible Mysteries)

by Renee George

  “Fifty-two hours and counting, Tiz. What should we tackle next?”

  “Lunch,” she said without missing a beat.

  My stomach growled its agreement. “Lunch it is.”

  ****

  The new Chinese restaurant in town, run by a family of werefoxes, also delivered. In forty-five minutes, the food arrived. The smell of moo shu pork and cashew chicken, minus the chicken for Tiz, made my mouth water. We’d also ordered some orange rolls, which weren’t exactly Chinese, more refrigerator cinnamon rolls deep fried and topped with orange glaze. Delicious.

  Do You Believe In Magic played when I got my first big mouthful of moo shu. I let out a muffled argh!, chewing as fast as my jaw would allow. I swallowed the sweet and savory bite, finally. “Stay out of sight,” I told Tiz.

  She grabbed three cashews from her plate and went to hide behind the couch.

  The doorbell went off again before I could reach the front of the house. I put my finger on my eyelid and tried to control a newly formed twitch with my right hand, while I opened the door with my left. “What?”

  On the porch, Platinum Pearl and her fluffy sidekick aka “the Enforcer” waited for me.

  “Pluto would like to see you in private,” Pearl said. “We were asked to invite you to his motel room for a friendly conversation.”

  Pluto was the Siamese cat. The one that had laughed at my joke. “Is this another order? A summons?”

  “No,” Leonidus said. “It is a request.”

  “What room is he in?”

  “Number twenty-three,” Pearl said. “We can give you a ride.”

  “No thanks. I’ll drive myself.” Besides, I didn’t want to get stuck in town again with no vehicle. “I’m in the middle of lunch, and I plan to finish. Just tell Pluto I’ll be there in the next two hours.”

  Pearl gave me a two finger salute, and she and the warrior marshmallow walked back out to her sports car. I watched them until they roared off down the driveway.

  “They’re gone,” I yelled to Tiz. She didn’t answer. I walked into the living room. “Tiz?” Still no answer. I went to the kitchen. Her plate sat on the center island, but no sign of her. “Tiz?”

  I went back to the living room and to the couch. “They’re gone. You can come out now.” I looked behind the couch. The only thing I found was two cashews and tiny claw marks etched into the hardwood around them. My heart fluttered, and my breath quickened. “Tizzy!” I shouted.

  She was gone. Pearl and Leonidus had tricked me. They were the distraction while someone snatched my Tiz. I gathered in my will, drawing on the air around me to power a magic spell that would send them all to a hell in which there would be no return, then heaved a sobbing exhalation when I felt nothing. I took a second to mourn my magic because a second was all I could afford. Tizzy was in trouble, and I wouldn’t let her down by wallowing in despair.

  I grabbed my purse, my keys, and my phone and raced to my vehicle. I hit the mic button on my phone after I started the car and said, “Call everyone!”

  Chapter Ten

  FORD, MY DAD, and Tanya met me at the Paradise Falls Inn. I dashed up the stairs, feeling slower than molasses with each step.

  Ford banged on the door to room twenty-three.

  “Open up, Pluto. Now,” he boomed. And then without waiting, my man kicked the door in with a ferocity that made my heart leap.

  Inside, an astonished Siamese and his warlock, the one with the blond hair, stared at us, their mouths agape.

  The warlock, who’d been reading Twenty Shades of Blue in bed, squawked, “What is the meaning of this?”

  Pluto jumped up on the bed next to his warlock. “Can we help you, Ms. Kinsey?” He looked at Ford, my dad, and Tanya, and added, “And family.”

  I didn’t correct him that Tanya wasn’t my family. “Where’s Tizzy?” I demanded.

  The cat tilted his head. “That’s what we want to know. If we had her, we wouldn’t still be in this lovely town.” He made the word “lovely” sound like “Goddess-forsaken.” “Believe me when I say, I would love for this to be all over. But first, we require both Tisiphone and Lupitia. We have neither, Ms. Kinsey, I assure you.”

  “And I’m going to assure my foot right up your furry butthole,” I told him. “I might not have my magic, but over fifteen years in law enforcement has taught me all I need to know to kick your ass ten ways to Sunday.”

  “You have some nerve,” the warlock said, but he pulled up the covers around his chest as a way to put a barrier between me and him. “Get out of our room.”

  “It’s okay, Gwyn. Ms. Kinsey isn’t going to resort to violence.” Pluto gave me a direct look. “I have not taken your familiar, but tell me why you think I have.”

  “Because your cretins came to my home and told me you wanted to talk to me alone, and after they left, Tiz was gone.”

  “So you’ve been lying about being in contact with Tisiphone.”

  “Yes,” I blurted out. “But so not the point, Mr. Pointy.”

  “Pluto is fine.” He walked to the edge of the bed. “Who are these cretins you speak of?”

  “Pearl and pocket-sized merengue.”

  The warlock stifled a giggle.

  I glared at him.

  “Sorry,” Gwyn said. “I laughed when I’m nervous. Besides, it was funny.”

  “I’m not doing a standup routine here. I want Tiz back. Now!”

  Ford let a roar rip that shook the walls in the room. I didn’t have to look at him to know he’d shifted into his partial form, because the big and fearful eyes of both Pluto and Gwyn, told me just how big, furry, and scary my boo looked right now.

  My dad and Tanya began to chant. Even with no magic of my own, I could feel their current of power on the air.

  “Enough,” Pluto said. “I promise you, I sent no one to your home, Hazel.”

  He’d used my first name. A technique I’d put to practice many a time when talking a suspect down from the ledge.

  “This doesn’t have to get ugly,” he added. “Tell me what Pearl and Leonidus said.”

  “Just what I told you, that you wanted to meet with me away from the group. One on one. Gato y mano. And then, you all kidnapped Tizzy.” I held my breath for a second to keep from crying. “There was a struggle. She…”

  My father stepped forward. “My daughter had until tomorrow to turn Tisiphone and Lupitia in. By going to her house and forcing the issue, you’ve crossed a line.”

  “I didn’t ask Pearl or Leo to request a private audience with you.”

  “Liar!”

  “What would make you believe the truth? I’m happy to take a lie detector if you have one handy.”

  A lie detector was exactly what I needed. I pulled out my phone and hit the second button in my top five. When the soft voice of my BFF Lily Mason answered, I nearly started crying again.

  “Haze? Are you there? Are you okay?” Lily asked. A loud racket of cages rattling and barking dogs made it hard to hear her.

  My lower lip quivered. “Are you alone?” I knew she worked most days at the rescue shelter for pit bull breeds that she ran with her friend Parker Knowles. I’d never met him, but Lily told me that she cared for him beyond platonic.

  “I can be.” I heard her shut a door and the barking became muffled. “I am now.”

  “Tizzy’s been familiar-napped!” I took a deep breath. “I’m sorry. I’m trying to keep it together.”

  “What do you need from me?” Her voice was calm, and it helped ground me. “Whatever it is, you’ve got it.”

  During the fiasco at Halloween, we found out Lily, who was a werecougar, had a witch in the family shed. Her great-grandmother on her mother’s side had been a truth-dealer. The witch’s power forced the people around her to speak only the truth. While Lily’s power, which had been latent until the rogue coven opened the hellmouth, wasn’t as potent as her ancestors, was exactly the same, it made people want to tell her the truth, and when someone lied, she would feel it in
her bones like a vibration. In other words, she was a walking, talking lie detector.

  “Is it okay if Dad pops in to get you?”

  “Of course. Can you tell me for how long?”

  “Long enough to get to the truth.”

  “Let me tell Parker I need to take the afternoon off. He’ll cover the rest of my shift.”

  I looked at Pluto and Gwyn. They both looked way too calm for my taste. I needed to shake them up. “Can you bring Smooshie along? I have a cat for her to play with.”

  I could hear the smile in Lily’s voice. “You got it. Give me ten minutes, and I will text you with my location.”

  When I hung up, Pluto asked, “What’s a Smooshie?”

  I smiled at the Siamese. “You’re about to find out.”

  Fifteen minutes later, my dad came back with Lily. At five feet tall and probably not much more than one hundred pounds, she packed a lot of friendship in her diminutive self. Her long, thick cinnamon colored hair was pulled back in a ponytail.

  “Hazel,” she said, embracing me. She took in my new aged look. “What happened? Who beat the crap out of you?”

  “The floor,” I told her. “I’m human.” Before she could ask, I added, “I don’t have time to explain, but I promise when this is all over, I’ll tell you everything.”

  She nodded.

  “What is that thing!” Gwyn jumped to his feet on the bed and backed against the headboard.

  I smiled as I took in the ninety-pound mass of hard muscle covered in red and white fur, and a tongue that hung inches past her chin at the end of a short leash my BFF held in her hand. The pit bull’s butt wiggled with excitement as her deadly tail whacked the hell out of my dad’s leg. I looked at Pluto and his warlock.

  “That would be Smooshie.”

  Pluto stood up on the toes of all four of his paws, his back arched, his hackles stacked like dominoes and hissed in the mammoth dog’s direction.

  “If you lie to me about Tizzy,” I told him. “I’m feeding you to Smoosh.”

  *****

  WE’D BEEN AT the questions for half an hour, and we hadn’t gathered any more information than we had before. My time was ticking away, and without magic, I couldn’t feel Tiz. I didn’t know if she was hurt or scared.

  “I’m sorry,” Lily said. “The cat is telling the truth. He doesn’t know where Tizzy is, and he has no idea who took her. Neither does his warlock.”

  “I think it’s time we had a talk with the entire High Familiar Clowder,” my dad said. “Someone sent the enforcers to your home, or they acted on their own for some other purpose. Either way, we need to find out.”

  Pluto, who continued to give Smooshie a weary look, but was no longer in a defensive posture, said, “I agree.”

  I raised a questioning brow.

  “I told you that I didn’t have anything to do with Tisiphone’s disappearance. And frankly, I’m not sure the clowder is in the right in this situation,” he said. “I’m not the only one to think this, but we vote by committee, and majority rules.”

  I thought about the Shifter-Witch Coalition. Most democracies ran that way. “Can you call for an emergency meeting with the clowder?”

  “They will need a reason to convene so quickly.”

  “Tell them I’m ready to talk. I’m ready to tell them where Tiz is located and turn her in so I can get my magic back.” I put my hands on my hips. “That should get their attention.”

  “So it shall,” Pluto said.

  *****

  THE CLOWDER SET the meeting time for seven in the evening. So much for urgency. Five hours was too long to stew in my misery. Lily checked in with Parker and her uncle. I really was happy for her. She’d found a place where she finally felt like she belonged. I just wished I didn’t miss her so much.

  My father had called on the coalition to come to the house at five-thirty for dinner and a strategy meeting. Robert Pierce and Mike Crandell were the last to arrive. Mike had a friend with him. The man was lanky in a way that brought the classic Ichabod Crane to mind. His brown hair was cut just above his ears and combed neatly with a side part. His narrow face and sharp eyes reflected a quick intelligence.

  Mike presented the new man to the group. “This is Patrick Edger. He’s been keeping an eye on the familiars since last night. I thought you might want a report directly from him.”

  “Oh, the weremongoose,” I said. I extended my hand. “Thanks for the help, Patrick.”

  He nodded. “Yes, ma’am.”

  “Do you have anything useful?”

  “Maybe.” He pursed his lips. “Those witches, warlocks, and familiars are boring bunch. A lot of conversations about Real Housewives and Teen Moms. They do way too much binge-watching of reality television. I thought my time would be a complete bust, but I overheard a man and a woman talking about how this time they would make it work. That they would figure it out, and since the witch’s magic had been cut, they didn’t even need to kill this time.”

  I gulped. “They mean me. Since my power is gone, they don’t need to kill me.”

  “I’m assuming,” Patrick said. “Then the woman said they knew Tisiphone was at the house with you, and that all they had to do was create a little misdirection to nab her.”

  My stomach lurched. “Who was it?”

  “I spent a lot of time in the air vents listening, but I couldn’t see.” He shook his head. “I’m sorry.”

  “No British accents?” I asked.

  “Not in that room.”

  “That rules out Queenie.” I paced the living room. “Can you identify the witch if you heard her voice again?”

  “Or familiar,” my father added.

  Patrick nodded. “I can.”

  “It has to be Balderdash,” I said. “He acts like someone hellbent on world domination.”

  “We shouldn’t jump to conclusions. We’ll no more when we get them all in the same room tonight.”

  I sighed. “I’m so tired.” I looked at Lily. “How do humans live in such frail bodies?”

  She shook her head. “They’re amazing creatures. Tough and resilient because they have to be.”

  Every part of me ached, from my back where the door had thrown chunks, to the bruise on my right cheek where I’d my face had hit the hardwood, and my knees. Mother Nature and all four of her seasons, my knees hadn’t been the same since Pee Wee Puffball had slammed me down on them. In the past two days, the teacup Persian had really worked me over.

  Tanya strolled over to me, her heeled boots striking the floor hard with each step. She put her hand on my shoulders and mouthed an incantation I couldn’t make out. When she finished, my aches and pains were gone, and my energy was renewed.

  “There,” she said. “Better?”

  “I almost forgot you were a healer,” I said.

  “I’m no Zelda,” she said. “I’m crap when it comes to healing Shifters, and witches and warlocks hardly ever need a healer. It’s why I’m a medical examiner. It’s the only lucrative career choice for a doctor in a paranormal town.” She beamed when my dad took her hand.

  “Anyhow,” Tanya said. “I didn’t know if it would work on you since you’re human now. I’m glad it did.”

  “Me too.” And I really was glad, but I hated to be beholden to Tanya. Ick. Now I owed her a favor as well. “How come you did this now? Not earlier?”

  “Earlier I was angry with you for the mean comments. Now, I’m not.”

  “Fair enough.” I smiled at her. “Okay. Let’s eat and get this show on the road.”

  Chapter Eleven

  THE MEETING WAS set at the coalition building on Heavenly Street, just down from the department of motor vehicles. It was almost seven o’clock now. The coalition went ahead of me to set up the room, and my dad texted when the HFC arrived.

  “All present and accounted for, according to Dad,” I told Ford and Lily. “Are we ready.”

  Smooshie had pushed her big head up front between Ford and I. She kept licking his arms
and neck, much to his annoyance.

  “Does she smell like vanilla and rum?” I asked him.

  “Smart ass,” he said.

  “Smoosh.” Lily hooked her fingers in the massive dog’s collar. “Stop flirting with the bear Shifter.” She giggled.

  I giggled. For that split second, everything was right with the world. Only it wasn’t. How could I laugh when Tiz was Goddess-knows-where? Whoever took her already killed a witch. I wish we knew who’d been murdered, but Patrick hadn’t heard any names.

  Speaking of the weremongoose. “I hope Patrick can identify the voices. I hate feeling so helpless.”

  “You are the toughest chick I know, Haze Kinsey,” Lily said.

  “Ditto that,” Ford added. “You got this, babe.”

  I grabbed both their hands. “We got this.” A long pink tongue swiped my ear. I reached back and scratched Smooshie’s neck. “All of us.”

  *****

  I FELT EERILY calm as I walked into the coalition. Patrick the weremongoose stood by the door as we entered. My dad and the other members of the Shifter-Witch council each sat in their chairs on the small stage. A show of dominance. Much like the one the HFC had put on for me in our first meeting. Someone had placed folding chairs in front of the ceremonial altar. A nice touch. I’d lay money on it being Bryant’s idea. He knew how to make a show of being in charge.

  To my surprise, all the witches and warlocks had sat in them, each stroking their cats, which conjured visions of cartoon villains plotting in their evil lairs. I expected one of them, at any second, to steeple his or her hands, and say, “I will blow up with world in sixty seconds if you don’t comply with my demands.”

  I strolled in front of them with the confidence of someone in law enforcement for half her life.

  “Can we get on with this?” Queenie asked. “The sooner you give up Tisiphone, the sooner I can get out of this hovel of a town.”

  There was a murmur of agreement from several of the HFC. I crossed my arms and stared them down. All of them but Pluto and Gwyn looked away when my gaze snapped on them. I nodded to Lily, who’d been waiting in the front for my signal. She was led in to the room by Smooshie, whose excitement for the new place and all the wonderfully small creatures, had her yanking at her leash.