01 Untouchable - Untouchable

by Lindsay Delagair

  He gave a light laugh, eyes still closed, “He’s a boy, not a man.”

  “Well he’ll just have to do. I promised him a date when I return his car and…”

  The eyes came open. “You didn’t tell me that. You said he didn’t want you sleeping with me.”

  “That’s because we never got to finish that conversation, now close your eyes.”

  He gave me an annoyed look and reclosed his eyes.

  “Just for a moment I want you to think that this is over, for both of us. Robert has had a change of heart and calls off the hit, Jack and Ricky are gone. It’s just me—and Ryan now.” I could already see him tensing. “I return his car to Pensacola and he takes me on the date I promised him.” His breathing was starting to get a little harder. “After the date, I find myself feeling vulnerable because you’re gone and I end up in his bed.”

  The eyes opened, the veins were coming out on his neck and the jaw was clenching. He grabbed both my arms and pushed me back and stared at me. “You wouldn’t do that. You’re not that kind of girl…” he was grinding out the words.

  “But I might. I already told you yes. What would keep me from…”

  “Leese, you can’t. I won’t let you…”

  His grip on my arms was starting to become painful and I was afraid I was going to end up with a pair of bruises like the one that had only recently faded away. “Tell me what you’re feeling right now, Micah? Tell me the truth. Are you the only man you can see me with? Would you want any other man to put a hand on me?”

  “I—I don’t want—I’m just selfish, that’s all.”

  “You are the one, and you know it. There is no other man out there I want. Please don’t ever tell me that if this works out, you won’t be here for me.”

  “That’s a promise I will not make to you. But you’re right, I can’t even think about someone else touching you.” He pulled me in close to that warm chest and whispered that this was just too damn hard to figure out.

  “We belong to each other for however long we have,” I said, my hand finding the remote and turning off the television. “We’ll figure the rest out if we get the chance.” This whole conversation had been too hard on both of us and I decided it was time to back off. “Can I go outside to the hammock?”

  “Sorry,” he whispered. “I can’t take that chance.”

  I looked up and gave him a weak smile, “Fine, then I guess a shower will have to do.” I kissed his cheek and left the room.

  When I came out of the shower, I was surprised to find that he was gone. There was a note on the coffee table that said he had left to get a rental car, and a reminder to stay indoors.

  Both cars were still in place so I wondered how he was getting to the rental lot. Surely he didn’t take off walking, unless he wanted a chance to clear his head.

  I straightened up the bungalow and made the bed, rearranged the furniture slightly, dug the disposable dishes out of the trash and washed them simply for something to do. But, once I had done every possible thing inside, the only thing left to do was to sit and think. Think about what we’d said to each other.

  What it would mean to be free from the ugly curse that Robert had hanging over my head. What it would really mean to be with Micah when this was over. I couldn’t tell him that there were times when he truly frightened me, but there was a part inside him that was coming to the surface that I loved more than anything I’d ever known. I knew the frightening part would remain with the total package. Someday, if we got a shot at someday, the unemotional, void and scary part of his personality would surface and I’d have to learn how to handle it without turning away. I could only hope I’d survive this and get the chance.

  I heard the sound of a vehicle. I opened a sliver of the curtain to see a white, four door Taurus pull up in front of the other unit with Micah climbing out of the driver’s side.

  When he came through the front door, he had his unemotional face back on. “Grab your stuff. I’m moving you over to the other unit.”

  I was going to rebut, but I could tell he was in no mood for it. I packed up my items, wondering if he was going to bring his things as well. When he didn’t make a move to get his stuff, I asked. “Do you want me to pack your clothes for you?”

  “I haven’t decided yet if I’ll stay here or in the other unit with you.”

  “There isn’t any reason to stay in here. I mean you can watch this unit…”

  “There are plenty of reasons to stay here, alone. I just want to think it over first.”

  “If you stay here,” I challenged him, angry that he might be thinking of putting some distance between us, “then how are you going to make sure I stay in the other unit?”

  His eyes narrowed and I could tell he was not happy with my implied threat to escape. “I suppose I could tie you up, if you make me take that step.”

  I crossed my arms and stood there defiantly.

  He walked past me and grabbed his duffle.

  I relaxed.

  He was going to get his things. But, when he turned around, he had something metallic and shiny in his hands; handcuffs.

  “I told you, you don’t know what kind of person I am,” he stated, grabbing my arms and pulling them out in front of me.

  He was wide open. I knew the weakest point in a person’s grip and I could have twisted away. His groin was exposed for me to plant my knee, and there were a hundred different points I could pick to strike him, but I couldn’t do it. I simply caved inside. I handed him my life the day I had guessed what was happening and I was utterly unable to do anything to resist whatever he wanted to do with it.

  He let go to open the handcuffs, and I just stood there offering my wrists. His eyes never softened as he accepted my offered arms. The metal clipped down so tightly that I winced. For an instant, I saw the regret flash across his face, then it was gone. He picked up my duffle and threw it over his shoulder and pushed me toward the sliding door. He opened it and looked out before proceeding to pull me toward the back door of the other unit.

  He had already unlocked the other sliding door and he moved me to the single bedroom, but this unit had two beds. He unclipped one side of the handcuffs and placed the open end securely around the pole on the headboard. He walked away and never looked back. I lay down on my back, unable to roll onto my stomach because of my handcuffed arm, and just cried. I heard the Taurus crank up and pull away. I couldn’t believe he’d actually left me this way. The conversation that I had hoped would make him realize that we belonged together had apparently had the wrong effect.

  I don’t know how much time passed before I finally sat up and assessed my situation. The handcuff was too tight and my hand was paying the price. My wrist was trying to swell and my fingers had begun to tingle. I rubbed my arm to keep the blood flowing and pulled the red-marked skin out from under the metal and tried to slip the cuff to the smallest part of my wrist. I checked the headboard to see if I could free the other end, but it was firmly bolted to the wall. I pulled the bar that ran horizontally, blocking me from sliding my handcuff directly over the top of the post. It wiggled slightly as I pulled it toward me. I began rocking it back and forth, each time it became a little more pliable. I kept it up until it finally broke off in my hand. I lifted the handcuff over the top and was free. Now the only problem was what was I going to do with this freedom?

  I had packed my Porsche keys in my duffle and they were still there. I could drive away and, even if he came back as I was pulling out, he’d never catch my car in that crappy rental. I laughed sardonically to myself, he wouldn’t catch me even if he had his Vet.

  I wondered which unit he would enter first. Would he check on me or would he simply avoid me by going back to our old bungalow? I made my decision, wrote him a note and grabbed my car keys.

  It was after dark when I woke to feel his arms around me. He was kissing my neck and asking if I could forgive him for what he’d done.

  “Turn on the light,” I whispered. He reached t
he bedside lamp and his distraught face came into view. I was back where he’d left me. I replaced the handcuff back over the top of the post so I couldn’t wrap my arms around him, but that was when I felt the pain shooting in my right wrist. When I had fallen asleep my arm had slid down, pulling the cuff back to where it was too tight.

  I winced and tried to move it. My hand had a purplish cast.

  As soon as he looked at what was causing me pain, I watched the mortified expression take over. “Damn it,” he growled out, but I knew it was directed toward himself instead of me. He quickly fished the key from his jeans and released me, rubbing and forcing the blood flow back to my hand.

  I cried out, but tried to muffle it by clamping my free hand over my mouth. It stung so badly, a million different pin-pricks began to assault the once numb limb and the red marks where the cuff had bit into my wrist burned like fire. He just kept rubbing it until the color returned. My eyes were watery, both from pain and emotion. He pulled me against his chest and asked me why I didn’t run when he’d given me the perfect reason to do it.

  “There’s no place else I’d want to be,” was my choked reply.

  “Come on,” he said, turning away from me and wiping his eyes.

  “Where are we going?”

  “I need to get you something to eat. We’ll go for a ride.” He still wasn’t turning around to face me and I realized he didn’t want me to see just how emotional he was at the moment. We slipped into the Taurus and drove away from the motel. “There is a drive through Chinese take-out up here on the right, or we could get a burger or a little seafood.”

  “I’m not really hungry,” I stated, just glad to be out of the bungalow. It had been hours since I’d eaten anything, but my emotions overruled my need for food earlier in the evening.

  “Please eat something, Leese. You’ve got to be hungry.”

  “Why did you do that to me? Did I piss you off for some reason? Was it something I said?”

  “If you’ll eat something, we’ll talk.” He gave me a pleading glance.

  I pointed to the Chinese restaurant and he pulled up to the speaker box and looked at me expectantly. “Just some pork fried rice and an ice tea, if they have it.”

  He ordered the same for both of us. Once we pulled away he headed toward the public beach. It was open until midnight and it wasn’t even ten. There were a few other cars parked but he drove down to the deserted end and pulled into a spot. He grabbed the bag of food and opened the door.

  “Don’t you want to stay in the car,” I asked, as I reached for his arm.

  “Nah, I was out here earlier today and there are some tables under the pines, we’ll eat there.”

  I followed silently as we walked through the shadows of Australian pines down to an area just before it opened into a wide section of moonlit beach.

  We sat down and he opened the bag and handed me a small white box and a plastic fork.

  “So tell me what happened today. Why did you decide to…” I knew it was partly my fault for asking how he would keep me from leaving, but there had to be more to it than that.

  “You made me think about what I was feeling for you, Leese. You made me think long and hard about it. You’re right...”

  I waited for something more, but he was silent. Was he admitting that we belonged together forever? Was he admitting that he was the one for me and I was the one for him? I had a feeling that wasn’t what he was about to say. “Go on, Micah. What am I right about?”

  “I told you I’m a selfish person. When I left to get the rental, I kept thinking about you and—and someone else. I couldn’t handle it and I realized I can’t let someone else have you—ever.”

  I reached my hand over to rest on his in the semi-darkness. The trees blocked much of the moonlight, but I could still make out the pain-filled expression on his face.

  He pulled his hand away from my touch. “Don’t think it’s love, Leese. That’s not what was running through my mind. I was relieved…” His voice choked up and I could tell he was on an emotional edge. He was looking at me now and I could see the tears starting to run down his face. I wanted so badly to reach out and stop them, but I knew he needed a minute to finish saying what was hurting him so much. “I was relieved that when this is over, no one is ever going to touch you.” He stopped to wipe away the tears, “God, that is so wrong to know I’d rather have you dead than to have you with another man. You’re so unselfish and giving and all I’m doing is taking everything away from you.”

  “No, Micah…”

  “Gwen was right when she had you sing that song in the restaurant. She knows me and she knows what I’m capable of doing. I’m worse than David. At least he would have just shot you. But me? No, I’ve got to torture you first and make you think you’re in love.”

  “I think you’re wrong,” I said softly. “There are two people inside you and they are ripping you apart. One is the person you’ve been raised to be and the other is the person you’ve always been, but never let exist until now.”

  He was shaking his head, looking down.

  “You’re punishing yourself for jealous thoughts, but if you had the choice you would never hurt me.”

  The head raised and the eyes flashed even in the dim surroundings, “I left you tied up like an animal. I was satisfied with what I’d done until I went into our old bungalow to go to sleep and found your note with the car keys on top of it telling me that you were staying of your own free will. That was why I went back over there, to make sure you were still there and that you hadn’t changed your mind and run away. When I saw what I did to you…”

  “You mean when Evan saw what Micah had done.”

  “You’re gonna have me believing pretty soon that I’m a freak show and there are two guys living inside me, aren’t you?”

  “No, it’s just one guy with the good and the bad taking sides.”

  “I have never been confused in my life. Everything has always been simple. I do my job, collect my pay, invest my money, manage my businesses and wait for the next job to come along. I had a weird feeling about this job when I took it, and from the minute I met you, I knew my life was going to change if I got close at all.”

  I opened my little box of dinner and took a small bite. I could tell that it pleased him that I actually ate something. “If I’m going to eat then you have to too,” I said, hoping our night was finally going to lighten up.

  He shook his head as if he had no interest in the food he insisted we buy. I dug my fork into my container and held a bite out for him to taste. He gave me an odd look, but he finally opened his mouth and accepted the small amount of rice. “I didn’t feel like eating either,” I confessed. “But, taking that first bite can change everything. It’s good, right?”

  He nodded and then gave a small smile. “That sounds kind of prophetic.”

  I moved from where I sat across from him to sitting beside him. We shared my container of rice, and by the time we were done, his arm was around me and we were as close as we had been before our afternoon had been overshadowed by his jealous revelation. Did it worry me what he said about the fact that he’d rather I was dead than in another man’s arms? Yes. Was it going to change how I felt about him? No. He was working through emotions he’d never dealt with, and I had to believe that he didn’t really mean what he’d said; he simply didn’t know how to handle the emotion when it hit him.

  We got back to the bungalow by eleven and went into the new unit. “There isn’t any reason, at least not tonight, for us to be in separate units, is there?” I asked.

  “No, but even under the car covers, those two vehicles are like neon signs going right to the front door of bungalow eight.”

  “Well, then, I’m glad we’re in nine, Mr. Gavarreen,” I smiled.

  “I have to slip over there and grab a few things tonight, but I’ll be back. He handed me his key to unit nine, but I didn’t understand why.

  “Just a precaution,” he explained. “If someone is wai
ting for me inside there, I don’t want them to have a key to get in here with you.”

  “Oh. That makes sense, but …”

  “I’ll knock at the door and I’ll say something in French so you’ll know it’s okay to open it.”

  The other unit was completely dark, we had drawn all the drapery and now I was worried that it was a perfect place for someone to hide undetected. “Be careful,” I whispered as he left me. I locked the door behind him and waited impatiently.

  When the knock came at the door, it was followed by, “Si vous m'aimez, ouvrez la porte.”

  I opened it immediately.

  CHAPTER SIXTEEN

  We went to sleep in two separate beds because he said it was better for us, for now. But, when morning came, I felt that familiar weight of his arm wrapped around me. I snuggled deeper into his grip and felt it tighten; I knew he was awake without looking. “You changed your mind,” I whispered, still facing away.

  His glorious mouth found my neck and my ear, “I woke up around two a.m. and you were crying. I thought you were awake, but when I got next to you, I realized you were dreaming.”

  I was silent, trying hard to recall anything from my dream state, but I couldn’t. I was so exhausted that all I remembered doing was going to sleep. “Did I say anything?” I finally asked.

  “I could only make out a couple things, one was ‘I love you,’ you said it several times.”

  “And?”

  He was pausing, so I had to assume he didn’t like the other thing he was able to understand. I gave him a soft nudge with the back of my elbow to let him know I’d like for him to continue.

  He pulled back my hair and kissed the bared skin. Every time he put his lips directly to my neck, I felt little shock waves through my system. “You asked…” his voice getting that deep husky quality as if he was trying to keep his emotions in check, “You were asking me to kiss you, and to please not hurt you.”

  “Oh,” I was afraid to say more. A true kiss had been taboo between us because I had made it my last request, but there was more than that to the kiss. I knew, and I think he did too, that if it hadn’t been off-limits, we wouldn’t have been able to stop ourselves when logic and morals told us we must. “So what do we do today?” I asked, changing the subject.