His Amish Choice

by Leigh Bale

  Once Lizzie sat down, they each bowed their head for a silent prayer. After a few moments, Eli breathed a quiet sigh and they all dug in.

  “Lizzie says she’s gonna cook a turkey for Thanksgiving,” Marty said.

  “But I want ham,” Annie said. She swiveled around to look at Eli. “What’s your favorite? Ham or turkey?”

  He hesitated before answering truthfully. “I think I prefer stuffed turkey for Thanksgiving and ham for Christmas dinner. Now, what’s your favorite pie?”

  Annie tilted her head and looked up at the ceiling, as if contemplating this deep subject. “Hmm, I think I like pumpkin the best. But Lizzie always makes pecan and apple too.”

  “Yum! I’d like a giant slice of each kind,” Annie said.

  Eli chuckled, enjoying this light conversation. If not for Lizzie being overly quiet, he would have felt completely relaxed. He had to remind himself that this wasn’t his familye and his visit here was temporary. “That’s a lot of pie for such a little maedel. Are you sure you can eat all of that?”

  “Sure I can. I could eat it all day long.” Annie nodded as she took a big bite of her sandwich to make her point.

  “How come you left and didn’t marry Lizzie?” Marty asked the question so abruptly that Eli choked on a bite of buttered bread. He coughed to clear his throat and took several deep swallows from his glass of chilled milk.

  “Didn’t you love her no more?” Annie asked before he could reply.

  “Anymore,” Lizzie corrected in a stern voice. “And it’s none of your business.”

  “Well,” Eli began, speaking slowly so he could gather his scattered thoughts. “We were both very young at the time and I wanted to know more about the world before I committed to our faith and settled down to raise a familye.”

  There, that was good. He’d rehearsed the explanation more than once, not wanting to admit that he’d been too frightened to marry so young. He’d wanted to go to school instead. To see and learn more about this world he lived in before he settled down for the rest of his life.

  He was about to enlarge on his explanation when Lizzie set her fork down and rose slowly to her feet. Her eyes were narrowed and flashed with an emotion he couldn’t name...a mixture of despair and anger.

  When she spoke, her voice sounded hoarse with suppressed emotion. “It would have been nice if you had explained all of that to me instead of disappearing without a single word.”

  Eli stared at her, his mind a riot of thoughts he didn’t know how to express. How could she say he hadn’t explained? He’d told her everything in his letters. Why hadn’t she replied? Why had she ignored his efforts to reach out to her? She could have written back to him.

  Before he could think of a satisfactory response, Lizzie walked out to the backyard, pulling the door closed quietly behind her.

  The little girls stared after their sister, their gazes round with uncertainty.

  “Is Lizzie mad at us?” Annie’s lip quivered, her eyes welling up with tears.

  “Ne, she’s not angry at you. Please don’t cry.” Eli set his sandwich on his plate.

  Lizzie wasn’t mad at her sisters. She was mad at him.

  “I’ll go check on her and see if I can get her to come back inside.” He stood and smiled, speaking in a light tone he hoped would soothe them. “You two finish your lunch and I’ll smooth everything over. Okay?”

  They both nodded. He went outside, wondering if he should simply take his muddy clothes and go home. It had been a difficult day and he wasn’t sure what to expect when he found Lizzie.

  She stood leaning against the tool shed, staring out at the stubbled fields. Tomorrow, he planned to harrow and smooth out the small ruts in preparation for spring planting. When he approached, she quickly wiped her eyes. Ach, did she have to cry?

  “Lizzie?” He spoke gently, not sure what to say. He didn’t want to create more friction between them.

  She faced him, her eyes damp and filled with such misery that it nearly broke his heart.

  “Why did you have to go away to school? And why are so many people asking for your help?” she asked.

  Taken off guard by her questions, he shrugged. “You know why I went to school. And I suppose people come to me because they think I can make their ailments better.”

  “Can’t you stop it?”

  “Would you rather I sent them away?”

  She looked down at her feet. “Ne, that wouldn’t be right. You have to help them if you can.”

  “I don’t have to help them, but I want to, Lizzie. I believe it’s what the Savior would have me to do.”

  “Ja, you’re right. It’s just that...just that...”

  She didn’t finish her statement, but she didn’t have to. Finally they were getting at the crux of the problem.

  “It’s the fact that I went to college that bothers you, isn’t it? That I lived among the Englisch and became a paramedic. Right?”

  She nodded. “On the one hand, your skills are so beneficial. But on the other hand, it was wrong for you to leave. Higher learning can cause too much Hochmut.”

  “Is that what you think? That I’m filled with pride?”

  “Ja, ne... Ach, I don’t know anymore. When you left so suddenly, I didn’t know what to think. I can’t even tell you how badly you hurt me. I thought we were going to marry.”

  He sighed and looked away. “We were too young, Lizzie. At the time, I truly loved you. But we both needed time to become adults. You know that.”

  Her mouth dropped open. “So you just forgot about your promises to me? You didn’t even have the common courtesy to say goodbye.”

  Confusion fogged his brain. “I...I left you a long letter explaining everything. And I wrote to you many times afterward. Not once did you respond to me.”

  Her forehead furrowed in bewilderment. “You wrote your eldre, Eli. Your mudder shared some of your letters with me, but you never wrote directly to me. Not once.”

  Taking a step closer, he lifted a hand, forcing himself to be slow to anger. His faith had taught him to be a better man than to yell and say things he’d regret later on. His father had also taught him that a soft answer turned away wrath. So, he spoke in a gentle voice, hoping it worked.

  “I wrote to you dozens of times, Lizzie. I...I didn’t dare say goodbye to anyone in person because I feared you and my eldre would stop me from going. It’s hard to explain, but I wanted to know more about the world. I couldn’t stay. But I am wondering why you never responded to my letters. Why would you pretend they never existed?”

  She shook her head, looking miserable. “I never received any letters from you. Not ever.”

  Doubt clogged his brain. He’d never known her to lie, so why would she do so now? There had to be another explanation.

  “I don’t know what to say,” he said. “I wrote you many times, but every letter was returned unopened. I told you that I loved you and asked you to join me in Denver, but I never heard back from you.”

  She snorted. “Even if I had received these letters from you, it would have made no difference in my decisions. I would never have abandoned my faith to become an Englisch woman.”

  Though she spoke softly, he caught the contempt in her voice. The disdain. To her, the Englisch were worldly and ungodly...everything she didn’t want to be.

  “I know that now,” he said. “But it took a long time for me to realize you would not agree to come to me. After a year, when I didn’t hear from you, I finally accepted that I had lost you for good and moved on with my life.”

  But he didn’t tell her about Shannon. If Lizzie knew he’d fallen in love with an Englisch girl, it might deepen her disgust for him.

  “You moved on without me the moment you left,” she said. “You loved worldly pursuits more than you loved me. More than you loved Gott. And that is because you had too muc
h Hochmut. I don’t know what has brought you back home, but it doesn’t change anything between us. And now, I have work to do.”

  Lifting her chin, she brushed past him and headed toward the house, her spine stiff and unapproachable. Watching her go, he couldn’t help wondering what had happened to all of his letters. They’d been returned, they were now in his possession, but who had sent them back to him? Perhaps Jeremiah? He didn’t know for sure.

  It didn’t matter. He and Lizzie no longer loved one another. Time had drawn them apart and they’d found other lives and other loves. There could be nothing else between them. Not now, not ever.

  Chapter Seven

  Lizzie slid a canister of freshly made cheese curd into the chilled water of the well house. Vague sunlight gleamed through the open doorway, the air filled with the pungent scent of rain. Higher up in the mountains, it had snowed last night. Just a light dusting, but enough to lower the temperature substantially.

  Brr! Lizzie snuggled deeper into her heavy black coat and tightened the blue hand knitted scarf around her neck. The chores were finished and it was time to go inside for the evening. Eli should be leaving to go home soon. For two days, she’d purposefully avoided him after their last discussion. Tomorrow, they’d pay another visit to Daed in town. Maybe the doctor would even let him come home. While they would still need Eli to continue on the farm during Daed’s recovery, she’d feel more secure with her father’s presence.

  Stepping outside, she secured the door, then crossed the yard. She glanced toward the barn, noticing a light gleaming beneath the double doors. Eli was still working. She thought about going to see what was keeping him so late, but decided against it. After all that had happened between them, she needed to keep her distance.

  A few days earlier, during Church Sunday, he’d been surrounded by several members of their congregation. They each sought guidance on how to cure their various ailments...everything from a persistent cough to shingles. Eli had insisted he wasn’t a doctor, but offered his best advice. He then encouraged each person to go into town and visit Dr. McGann as soon as possible.

  “Eli! Eli Stoltzfus!”

  Lizzie whirled around and saw David Hostetler driving his horse and buggy at a breakneck speed along the dirt road. Gravel flew into the air as the horse pulled into the main yard. The animal was breathing hard and Lizzie ran to see what was the matter.

  In a rush, David jumped out of the buggy, then reached back to lift out his seven-year-old son, Timothy. The boy was wrapped tightly in a quilt with only his face visible. He groaned and Lizzie instantly noticed the child’s rasping breath, his eyes fluttering open and closed, and his lips a bluish color.

  “What is wrong?” she asked.

  “Can I help?” Eli startled her when he reached to press a hand to his forehead. Dressed in his warm winter coat and black felt hat, Eli must have just been preparing to go home when he heard David’s cries and came running from the barn.

  Standing back, Lizzie gave Eli room as David headed toward the front porch.

  “He...he breathed in pesticide. He spilled it down his front,” David said, his voice sharp and slightly breathless from his exertions.

  “Bring him inside,” Eli said, his voice and manner urgent.

  Without a backward glance, he opened the door and they hurried into the front room. Lizzie followed, anticipating they might need her help. Eli led David straight through to the kitchen.

  Startled by the commotion, Annie and Marty hopped up from the couch where they had been reading by lamplight. Standing barefoot in their warm flannel nightgowns, they gazed at the group with a mixture of alarm and shock.

  “Lizzie?” Always sensitive to other people’s troubles, Annie took her hand.

  Lizzie wrapped one arm around the girl’s shoulders and pulled her close. “It’s all right, boppli. Timmy is sick, but we’re going to help him get better.”

  They followed the men into the kitchen.

  “Lay him on the table,” Eli ordered.

  David did so. The boy moaned, his voice a scratchy gurgle.

  Eli glanced her way. “Do you have some rubber gloves I can use?”

  She nodded, opened the cupboard door beneath the sink and handed him the items. Eli quickly tugged them on, then pulled the quilt aside. Timmy was still dressed in his work clothes. Lizzie’s nose twitched as the heavy odor of pesticide struck her. She crinkled her forehead, understanding why her father rarely used such volatile chemicals on his farm. If they were dangerous to bugs, they were dangerous to humans.

  Eli looked up at her. “Lizzie, please have the maed leave the room immediately. I don’t want anyone to touch Timmy or his clothes except me. Not until we can get the poison off him. The quilt and Timmy’s clothes should be burned. I doubt anyone can get them clean enough to use again. Don’t handle them except with rubber gloves. I don’t want you to get hurt. Do you understand?”

  She nodded, realizing the gravity of the situation. But for him to say he didn’t want her to get hurt made her heart thud. She told herself it meant nothing. That he was only looking out for her the same as he would do for anyone. But for just a moment, she secretly wished it meant a bit more. Then, she reminded herself that they were barely even friends.

  “David needs to wash his hands and arms with soap and hot water. He’s been holding Timmy and probably has poison on his skin. Lizzie, you’ll need to clean the sink afterward with cleanser. Be sure to wear rubber gloves.”

  She nodded stoically. Without a word, she ushered her sisters out of the room. David followed, leaving his son in Eli’s care.

  “But I wanna stay,” Marty complained.

  Understanding the problem very well, Lizzie didn’t back down. Just breathing in pesticides or getting them on the skin could do grave damage. Besides, the girls would only be in the way if they stayed.

  “Ne, my liebchen. The poison could hurt you too. In fact, it’s time for you and Annie to go to bed.” Taking each girl’s hand, Lizzie pulled them along.

  “Ach! I don’t wanna go to bed,” Annie whined.

  Without a word, Lizzie pointed toward the bathroom and spoke to David. “There are clean towels in the cupboard and plenty of soap by the sink. You can borrow one of Daed’s clean shirts too. Remember not to touch anything you don’t need to as it will spread the poison.”

  He nodded and headed that way.

  Lizzie walked up the stairs with her sisters. “I’m sorry, but it’s time to sleep and I need to help the men with Timmy.”

  “But what if Timmy di-dies?” Annie’s voice trembled.

  “No one is going to die. We must trust in Gott and Eli is going to do everything he can to help.” Lizzie tried to make her voice sound calm and soothing, but her pulse pounded with trepidation. Even she could see that Timmy was having difficulty breathing. He obviously needed serious medical care and she wondered what Eli could do with their limited resources.

  “Don’t worry,” Marty said. “Eli will make Timmy better. He knows what to do.”

  Her sister’s confidence in Eli surprised Lizzie. And in her heart of hearts, she said a silent prayer, hoping her sister was right.

  When Lizzie returned to the kitchen a few minutes later, David was just coming out of the bathroom. He rolled the sleeves of one of Daed’s shirts down his damp arms as he walked swiftly with her to the kitchen.

  “I cleaned everything I touched, so we wouldn’t have poison spread around your bathroom,” he said.

  Eli looked up as they entered the room. He held Timmy’s wrist, taking his pulse with his bare hand. As soon as he finished, he pulled the rubber glove back on. “Lizzie, would you fill the bathtub with warm water? Timmy still has poison on him and we’ve got to wash it all off. He’ll need some warm, clean clothes to wear too.”

  “Of course,” she said, racing into the bathroom.

  Over the next
twenty minutes, they did what they could for Timmy. Lizzie found some fresh though rather large clothes for him to wear. By the time he was cleaned up, his breathing came a little easier, but he still had a dry, hacking cough. Eli doffed the rubber gloves, which he’d washed off. When he handed them to Lizzie, his warm fingers touched hers. She looked up and their eyes met for a few brief moments.

  “It’ll be all right,” he whispered for her ears alone, then turned back to the boy.

  Lizzie shivered, trying to ignore how Eli’s kind words impacted her. He was worried about Timmy, that was all.

  She put on the rubber gloves, then carefully folded Timmy’s contaminated clothes inside the quilt. As she carried them outside to burn later on, she turned her face away from the heavy stench of poison.

  Back inside, she provided a clean quilt and helped Eli wrap it around the boy to alleviate his trembling.

  “Daedi,” Timmy called in a weak voice, his eyes closed. In spite of the chill air, he was sweating profusely.

  “I’m here, sohn.” David smoothed his fingers through the boy’s slightly damp hair, his big hands trembling.

  “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to spill the poison. Are you bees at me?”

  David gave a laughing scoff, which sounded more like a low sob. “Ne, I’m not angry with you. Don’t worry, sohn. I just want you to get better.”

  Eli checked the boy’s eyes again, then checked his pulse. With pursed lips, he looked at David. “He’s breathing better, but not good enough. This kind needs a hospital right now. His heart rate is too slow and his pupils are still contracted.”

  David lifted his hands. “But can’t you make him better? I don’t want to take him to the hospital if we can avoid it. They’re all Englisch there and don’t understand our ways.”

  Eli shook his head emphatically. “I’ve done all I can for him. The hospital has antidotes and respirators to help Timmy. If you want him to live, we need to take him there immediately.”

  Lizzie hated to admit it, but she thought Eli was right. If they didn’t take Timmy to the hospital, he would die. But were it not for Eli, he would be dead already. The quick, capable care Eli provided had eased the symptoms. Hopefully that would be enough to give them time to get Timothy to the hospital. In all these years, she’d condemned Eli for leaving her to seek higher learning. But now, watching him trying to save Timmy’s life, she realized his profession was a great benefit.