Cherish Me

by Farrah Rochon

  “Okay,” she said. “See you then.”

  She waited until Harrison left the house before going upstairs. She knocked, even though she planned to enter no matter Lily’s reply.

  She barely heard the strained, “Come in,” through the wooden door. When she opened it, Willow’s heart broke in two. Lily sat on the edge of the bed, her eyes closed, rivulets running down her cheeks. Every ounce of frustration she’d had in her withered and died at the sight of her daughter’s tear-stained face. What did she expect of a teenage girl who was afraid her parents were on the brink of divorce? How could she expect Lily to fare any better than she had?

  Willow closed the door behind her and leaned back against it, her hands clenching the knob.

  “We need to talk,” she announced.

  Lily didn’t open her eyes. She simply nodded.

  Sucking in a bolstering breath, Willow walked over to the bed and sat beside her daughter. “First things first,” she began. “You have every right to be upset about what’s going on between me and your dad.”

  Lily looked over at her as she wiped her cheeks. “What is going on between you two? Why’d you stop talking to him?”

  “I didn’t.”

  “Yes, you did,” she said. “I remember exactly when you did. It’s when he went to that conference thing in Philadelphia earlier this year. You wouldn’t take his calls, and when he came home things just…changed,” she said.

  Oh, God. Willow hadn’t realized it had been so obvious.

  Lily swiped at her cheeks again, before asking in a small voice, “Did Daddy cheat on you when he was in Philadelphia?”

  “What?” Willow screeched.

  “I’m not a little kid, Mom. I can handle it.”

  “No,” Willow said. “Of course he didn’t. Why would you even think that?”

  “Oh, I don’t know.” She flailed her hands dramatically. “Maybe because that’s usually why people get a divorce.”

  “We are not getting a divorce, and your father did not cheat on me,” Willow said. She took her hand. “Lily, I wish I had a simple answer, but I don’t. It’s something your dad and I need to figure out.”

  “Figure what out? I don’t get what you guys need to figure out!”

  “I don’t know how to answer that.” She felt like such a fraud. Here was her daughter, thinking Harrison was the one who’d caused this rift, when it was Willow’s own actions that had changed things those many months ago. But this wasn’t something she could discuss with Lily.

  “Couples just…they drift apart,” Willow continued, her throat aching with the guilt she tried desperately to swallow. “The stress of losing your grandmother, and Athens’s health issues, and your dad becoming a partner in the law firm. And some personal issues I’ve been dealing with,” Willow tacked on in a feeble attempt to own up to her own culpability in the mess their family was now mired in. “It just became too much.” She cupped her daughter’s cheek. “And I realize that you’ve gotten lost in all of this. I understand why you would act out.”

  “I’m not a little kid looking for attention,” Lily groused.

  “Really? So what was that fight about?”

  “Valeka called me a ho on Snapchat.”

  “That’s it? Some girl called you a ho?”

  “You don’t think that’s enough!”

  Willow rubbed her temples, her eyes falling closed as she took a moment to grasp what little calm she could muster. “Lily, do you realize what this may do to your school career?”

  “I wasn’t thinking about that,” she said.

  “No shit!” Willow retorted. “I’m sorry.” She sighed. “It’s just…that is a very expensive school, Lily. You’ve been on the waiting list to get in since you were five. Every single graduate goes on to college—many of them to the top schools in the country. You don’t throw away the opportunity you’ve been given over some girl calling you a name.”

  “I’m sorry, Mom. I really am. I didn’t think about getting thrown out of school. I was just tired of dealing with that bitch. She always has something to say.”

  Willow let the use of the word bitch slide. Her daughter was talking to her. It’s something she hadn’t done lately, and Willow needed it to continue.

  “Are you sure this had nothing to do with what’s been going on here at home?” Willow asked.

  “I’m sure,” Lily said. “If she wasn’t being such a coward and walking around with an entourage outside of school, I would have kicked her ass when I saw her at the movies last weekend.”

  Willow put her hands up. “Okay, so that’s one too many curse words. I’m all for being a cool mom, but I’m not that cool. And there will be no more fighting, in school or out of it. You know fighting doesn’t solve anything.”

  “I’m sorry,” Lily said. “I know.”

  “Good.” Willow stood and walked around to the other side of her. She wrapped her arms around Lily’s upper body and gave her a squeeze. “So, I can leave you with your grandfather and Aunt Indina and not have to worry about you getting picked up by the cops while your dad and I are in Italy?”

  Lily let out a loud groan. “Yeeesss.” She dragged the word out. Their eyes met in the mirror that stood above the dresser. They both smiled, but then Lily’s turned downward. It wrenched Willow’s heart to see the sadness clouding those beautiful eyes.

  “I want Daddy to move back home,” her daughter said. “Can you guys please just get back together?”

  “We’re working on it,” Willow said. “I promise, baby.” She pressed a kiss to the top of her head, grateful that her voice didn’t crack over the words. She rubbed Lily’s arms and gave them a pat before releasing her. “Now, get to bed. You have school tomorrow.”

  “No, I don’t.”

  “Oh, yes, you do,” Willow informed her. “You’re going to my school.”

  Lily groaned.

  “You thought you hated Calculus? Wait until this math and science nerd teaches it to you.”

  “Now I really regret that fight,” Lily muttered.

  Willow chuckled as she exited the room. As she crossed the hallway to the guest bedroom where she’d been sleeping these past few weeks, the dull ache that had become so familiar made its nightly appearance, settling into the depths of Willow’s chest. Tonight’s hurt cut even deeper after having Harrison in the house for much of the evening. Earlier, when they’d stood quietly together in the downstairs living room, she almost suggested he spend the night. But if she’d feared news that she and Harrison were going away for their anniversary would give the children false hope, having him spend the night definitely would.

  Her phone chimed with a text message. Willow was almost afraid to look. Marcus hadn’t responded to her last text. She’d been anticipating a follow up invitation for them all to get together once they got back from Italy.

  The text wasn’t from Marcus. It was Harrison.

  Can you grab that brown leather duffle and leave it in the living room? Will try to find some time to pick it up before Saturday.

  She went downstairs to the walk-in closet in their master bedroom and pulled the duffle from the top shelf. She carried it over to the foyer and set it underneath the tall console table so that it would be easily accessible when Harrison dropped by to pick it up. Her eyes fell on the car keys she’d dropped in the misshapen bowl Lily had made in Girl Scouts years ago, and, without giving it too much thought, Willow grabbed both the keys and the bag and took off for the garage, stopping in her bedroom for her purse. She texted Lily to let her know she was leaving the house for a bit and would be back in a half-hour.

  The night air felt heavy with the imposing clouds that hung low in the sky. They’d hovered over New Orleans all day, threatening to unleash a violent downpour upon the city. The late hour meant virtually no traffic on the interstate, so Willow found herself pulling up to the curb in front of Campbell & Holmes’s Law Offices in under fifteen minutes. The moment she got out of her car, a loud boom rent the air an
d a deluge burst from the sky above.

  She ran up to the wooden porch that wrapped around the three-story colonial Jonathan had converted into his law office when he moved to New Orleans years ago. An old-fashioned gas lantern, like the one they’d installed at their own house, illuminated the front porch.

  Figuring Harrison was on the third floor and probably wouldn’t hear her knocking, Willow pulled her phone out and called him.

  He answered with a simple, “Hey.”

  “I’m outside. Can you come downstairs?”

  “You’re here? Why? What’s wrong?” She immediately heard the approach of his heavy footsteps. Apparently he hadn’t been upstairs. Before she could answer any of his questions, the door swung open. “What’s going on?” Harrison asked the moment he spotted her.

  He stood before her in the blue plaid pajama pants she’d given him for Christmas, a green Tulane Law T-shirt, and bare feet. She loved the way her husband looked in a suit, but Willow preferred him like this. Relaxed. Casual. Sexy.

  Goodness, but he was sexy.

  She held up the bag. “Thought I’d bring this over. I know you’re going to be busy these next couple of days, and figured it would be difficult for you to drive out to Lakeview to pick it up.”

  Harrison arched one brow as he took the bag from her. “You came all the way here to bring me a duffle bag?”

  She hunched her shoulders. “You have to pack.”

  Thunder cracked, and he took her by the wrist and tugged. “Come inside.”

  She hesitated. “I can’t stay for long.”

  “You can’t go back out there in this rain either,” he rationalized. “It shouldn’t last too long.”

  As she entered the law office, Willow realized that even though she’d been here dozens of times since Harrison started working with Jonathan, it had only been for a few minutes at a time. Why hadn’t she taken a bigger interest? Was Harrison disappointed that she hadn’t?

  “Why were you down here?” She asked. “I didn’t knock because I figured you’d be upstairs and wouldn’t hear me.”

  He picked up the bowl he’d apparently set on the receptionist’s desk on his way to the door. “I was heating up some left over Pad Thai. The microwave upstairs went out last week. I haven’t had a chance to pick up another one.” He held out the bowl. “Want some?”

  “No. No. I’m still full from all the food Indina brought over.”

  The awkwardness that had become such a noticeable presence when they were together snaked its way around them, but she fought against it. This tension only took root because she allowed it to. This was her husband, her best friend. She would stop feeling so self-conscious around him.

  “You mind coming up stairs?” Harrison asked. “I was just about to start pulling some clothes out for the trip. You can help me pick out my outfits.”

  “Help?” Willow asked, one brow peaked.

  “Okay,” he said, a grin creeping up the corner of his mouth. “Can you please come upstairs and pick out my clothes?”

  Laughing, she followed him up the stairs to the small, converted room. Willow stopped at the threshold, her heart plummeting to the pit of her stomach.

  The stark, sparsely furnished room was fine for a night here or there, but the thought of Harrison spending the past three weeks here made her physically sick. Especially when she thought about the home he’d provided for them, for her.

  Guilt assailed her as she considered the mini-mansion she would return to once the rain let up. Meanwhile, Harrison would remain here, forced to sleep on a lumpy futon that looked straight out of a 1989 J.C. Penny catalog. The unfairness of it all was almost too much for her to stomach.

  He didn’t deserve this.

  If anyone should be living in this little room, it should be her. Yet, she doubted it ever occurred to him that he had just as much right to their home as she did. After all, he was the one who’d paid for it.

  Not that Harrison would ever bring up money with her. In all their years together, he’d never once tried to exert control over the money simply because he was the breadwinner.

  It was in that moment that Willow decided, no matter what, she would figure out a way to fix her ailing marriage. She was one of the luckiest women in the world to have a husband like Harrison. She owed it to him to show just how much she appreciated him.

  Chapter Six

  He’d read two books on dealing with anxiety and tried every old wives’ tale he could find online, yet Harrison’s heart still raced like it was on crack as he and Willow made their way closer to the gate. There was a reason he never complained when Athens suggested Disney World every year for their family trip. It was within driving distance.

  He hated flying. Hated it.

  If this didn’t show Willow how much he loved her, nothing he did ever would.

  The excitement dancing in her eyes right now was almost enough to make up for the mind-numbing fear that had been building in his veins ever since he checked them into their flight yesterday. Harrison couldn’t remember the last time he’d seen her smile so much.

  “I downloaded an app that will translate words into English just by holding your phone up to the sign,” Willow said as she settled back in one of the few chairs remaining at the gate. “In a way, I’m glad we waited to take this trip. Technology makes it so much easier to travel internationally these days than it would have been seventeen years ago.”

  He simply nodded. His voice would probably squeak like a frightened five-year-old’s if he tried to speak.

  Willow played around on her phone while they waited for the passengers from the previous flight to deplane. Harrison fought the urge to pace, though he sure as hell would benefit from expending some of this pent up energy. The gate agent announced that boarding for their flight would begin in five minutes and Harrison immediately started praying the rosary. Didn’t matter that they weren’t Catholic. He’d take all the help he could get.

  When the call for first class passengers was made, he sucked in a deep breath and tried to quiet his racing heart.

  Willow looked back at him and smiled. “You ready?”

  He swallowed and nodded. He had no doubt his fear showed on his face. That was confirmed when his wife’s gaze softened. She reached for his hand and took it in hers.

  “It’ll be okay,” she said. She stood on her tiptoes and whispered in his ear. “I won’t let anything happen to you.”

  There wasn’t a damn thing she could do if this plane started to go down, but just hearing those words from her released some of the tension tightening his muscles.

  They took their seats in first class and were immediately served mimosas. He’d vowed to leave alcohol alone after those shots of bourbon had put him on his ass, but Harrison downed the champagne and orange juice in one gulp. He wondered how long he should wait before he asked for another.

  Willow could barely keep still in the seat next to him. She was like a kid embarking on a wild new adventure, her eyes bright with excitement. She turned to him and smiled.

  “Thank you for doing this,” she said. “I wasn’t sure about the trip at first, but now that we’re on the plane and ready to take off, it’s starting to sink in that I am actually going to Italy! I’m so happy we decided to do this.”

  Happiness. That’s what he saw on his wife’s face. He would endure however many hours it would take to get them to Rome just to see that look on her face. It was worth it.

  But that didn’t mean he had to like what it took to put that look on her face.

  He groaned when the plane started to pick up momentum on the runway. Willow reached over and took his hand again, bringing it to her lap and giving it a gentle squeeze. Harrison closed his eyes and relished in the comfort she offered. They used to hold hands like this all the time. Even on the short drive from his parents’ house to their own, she would reach over and cover his hand on the gearshift while he steered with the other. When had touching become such an abnormal thing between them?
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  Their hands remained entwined for most of the flight, with Willow only letting go when they were served their meals. As she watched movies on the screen embedded on the back of the seat in front of her, or read on her e-reader, her hand rested comfortably in his.

  Their layover in London wasn’t nearly as long as Harrison had hoped, but he was still grateful when the wheels hit the tarmac.

  She called the kids as soon as they deplaned.

  “I’ll give them another call once we land in Italy, and then that’s it,” Willow said. “No more kids.” Harrison looked at her with a skeptical lift to his brow as she pocketed her phone. “Okay, fine. One five minute call a day, just to check-in.”

  He nodded. “Even if you weren’t planning to call, I would. We’ve got to make sure Lily isn’t picking fights with everyone in the neighborhood.”

  Willow groaned before laughing, and the sound put him at ease.

  Too bad it wasn’t enough to allay his fears of getting back on a damn plane. After less than an hour, they were once again boarding. He’d just survived a ten-hour flight across the Atlantic, yet this two-and-a-half-hour flight down to Rome seemed just as daunting. Who in the hell thought sending a metal tube filled with people in the air was a good idea?

  Once again, Willow’s steady presence calmed him. Instead of reading or watching television, they talked. It wasn’t the kind of talk they needed to have—one that would allow them to finally delve into the issues that had been plaguing their marriage this past year—but this wasn’t the time for that discussion anyway. Instead, they talked like a normal husband and wife, the way they used to talk before everything started to change.

  She filled him in on the discussion she’d had with Dr. Saul before he’d arrived at the school on the day of Lily’s fight, and how she wasn’t all that optimistic that Lily would be allowed to continue at St. Katherine’s Academy. Harrison learned that Willow had already started looking at other schools that would possibly admit her.