Part 2: Face The Music
My Sister and I were in a long line. Many girls were there dressed like Elle. They were wearing the same leather jacket, filled with the chains and studs that Elle always wore. I was so excited, I turned to Autumn and smiled. This was probably the most exciting day of my life. I’d never had any fun before. The only times I’d ever left the house were for church. Usually to be shamed and ridiculed by the congregation. We were looking around waiting for Elle’s Limo to pull up. We looked, we watched, I’d never been so excited. I started jumping up and down ecstatically, Autumn grabbed me and turned me around, “Calm down there, spaz!”
“Sorry,” I said, trying to contain myself.
A tall, skinny man walked up to Autumn. He gave her a sleazy smile and said, “Hey there.”
Autumn rolled her eyes.”Get lost, creep,” she responded. The man gave us a dirty look and stormed away, pushing people rudely out of his path.
I started drumming on the rope. “When are we gonna be seated?” I whined.
Autumn rolled her eyes again, “In time Tia, chill!” I kept looking around. There were so many people waiting to be let into the venue. I stood there patiently like my sister told me too. Besides the creepy guy who hit on Autumn, nothing else really happened during our wait. I don’t want to bore you as the reader, so I’ll just say that we were in line for over two hours waiting to get in. When the large security guy in his tight black T Shirt finally opened the doors to let us in, I almost lost it. I felt dizzy, literally ready to pass out when we finally heard him say, “Everyone, single file line!”
The security guy released the red rope and we were all herded into the venue. I was screaming, cheering in pure joy. I moved as fast as I could, but I started to lose Autumn.
“Autumn!” I called out. There were so many people. I started to feel a panic attack. I was shuffling and swimming through the crowd until, finally, I saw Autumn reaching out for me, I grabbed her hand and she dragged me along. Everything became a blur again. Yes, I say this a lot but, honestly, it’s the truth. I don’t have a photographic memory. Some of the details you are reading are me guessing. I remember the basic details of things but not any clear description. Anyway, back to the concert. Autumn held my hand making sure I didn’t get lost again. We found our seats. I felt my anticipation hit the roof. We had excellent seats. Not on the floor sadly, but still we had a fantastic view. As we sat down, I didn’t realize I was still holding my sister’s hand. I squeezed tightly as I looked down at the stage.
“Tia, will you take it easy?” Autumn laughed, “my hand is getting numb.”
“Oh, sorry,” I said and let go. The place got so dark, so quiet. Then suddenly, there she was. She opened with with none other than my favorite song, “Hell on Earth!” I was so excited. The neon lights, the music, the cheering crowd. It was like a dream. I couldn't contain myself.
Eventually, the cheering and dancing came to an end. I left feeling sad that it was all over. It was truly the best night of my life. A magnificent dream that I never wanted to wake up from. We walked back to Autumn’s car. There was a large crowd of concert goers walking to their cars as well, but I was still in such a daze I barely noticed. When we got to the car, my stimulation overload had hit its peak and I felt exhausted. I used Autumn’s jacket as a blanket and curled up in the back seat. Autumn ruffled my hair as she backed the car out. It was the last thing I remembered as I dozed off.
Chapter 3: Tiny Terror Unleashed.
I was awakened to Autumn shaking me. “We need to get in fast,” she said urgently, “mom’s up.” I looked up and saw that the living room lights were on. I was panicked. I turned to Autumn. I was freaking out. She opened the car door and signalled me to move around to the back of the house. I did what she said and snuck through the back door, while she went around to the front to distract mother. I went up the backstairs being as quiet as I could. The floors creaked and it seemed as though the quieter I tried to be, the louder the creeks became. When I got to my room, however, I realized that the creaking floor didn’t matter anyway. The shouting between Autumn and mother would have covered up any noise I was making. I snuck to my spot at the top of the front stairs and listened.
“How dare you?” Mother Shouted.
“I didn’t take her anywhere with me!” Autumn yelled back. “I went alone. For fuck sake, mom!”
Mother shook her finger in Autumn’s face. “Don’t you use that language! I saw her in your car!”
“Tia didn’t come with me,” Autumn said through her teeth. “She stayed in her room.”
Mother turned to go up the stairs. I got up as quick as I could, ran to my room and shut the door. I jumped into bed and covered myself up to pretend I was sleeping. My door swung open and mother came bursting through. She grabbed the covers and pulled them off, seeing the outfit I wore to the concert.
Mother spun around to face Autumn, who was now standing in the hallway. “Heathens! Heathens! You both lied to me! You took your demon sister to the show! You lied to me!”
I sprung up out of bed, shouting defensively as I did. “Autumn did nothing wrong, mother! You did!” I yelled. “You lock me in here like an animal! I am only allowed out to be told how evil I am by your church! All because you blame me for murdering daddy when I was just a fucking baby!” Mother stood in rage, mouth agape. Autumn ran to my side.
Mother bellowed,”Step away from her Autumn!”
“No, Mother, Your abuse of her has to stop!”
Mother came charging toward me. Autumn tried to stop her but she shoved her hard to the ground. She began smacking me. “Wait until the pastor gets her little girl!” I fell onto my bed and curled myself into a ball, trying to defend against my mother’s blows. “You are a murderer!” she yelled as she continued hitting me. “You shame my family! You’re a disgrace!” Mother stopped hitting me. She got up, out of breath, and continued yelling. “You may be Satan’s little child but I won’t let you infest my house!”
Something sparked from within me, I felt pure rage, I wasn’t afraid anymore. I stood up from my bed, furious. Full of hatred, I looked at my mother, oblivious of dried tears against my cheek. I sniffled and looked her in the eye. “Leave me alone you bitch!” I yelled. With all my pent up fury, I punched mother in the face. It hurt my knuckle but I barely noticed the pain.
I was in a trance. I jumped on my mother and began hitting her over and over, screaming, Autumn got up and tried to grab me but I pushed her off. She tried to grab me again, screaming, “Tia stop! Don’t, this isn’t you! You’re not evil! Don’t fall to mom’s level, stop!” I could barely hear her. I was in a dark place. I started to strangle mother. I wanted to kill her. Her face turned a purplish, red color. Autumn got on me again, “Tia stop!” I shoved Autumn off of me and she fell against the dresser. I heard a loud crack and Autumn fell to the floor. Her head was bleeding and she was unconscious. Mother looked up at me with a helpless expression. She held up her hands defensively.
I fell back. I started sobbing loudly and smacking myself again. I blacked out and there was another blur. The next thing I remember was seeing Autumn, she was sitting up and nursing her head. Men in white coats came to escort me to white van. I started to struggle, but Autumn walked up to me. “They’re going to help you little sister,” she said soothingly. “They’re going to take care of you.”
I felt a gentle hand on my back as one of the men guided me into the van. I fell asleep shortly after. I don’t know if they gave me something to knock me out, or if I simply had an adrenaline crash. Either way, I was out. When I woke up, I was in a room here at Fitzgerald.
This is my confession on how I ended up here. This place certainly has its ups and downs. I made a new friend though, his name is Seth. He seems like an alpha male type and I get the feeling that he hates everybody. He’s very nice to me though. He recently took an interest in some of the books I’ve been reading, so I decided to lend him one. It’s funny, he’s so mean to
everyone else here but he kind of looks out for me. I won’t read too much into it, but at least I made a new friend. Thank you for reading this, I hope this didn’t bore you Dr. Bradford. This was the most honest I’ve been since I got here.
I really look forward to more of our sessions, I hope this gave you an idea about me.
Sincerely,
Tia.
From The Files of the Fitzgerald Mental Institution: Volume 2 Page 3
