Spirit of the Wolf

by Susan Mallery

  As she traveled along the rutted road, she tried to remember if she’d been back in Whitehorn on her own even once in the past few years. But she didn’t think she had. At first, after the attack, she’d sent others in with her medical supply list. Then she’d started going in with her brother, or others from the village. She’d never considered giving up the use of the medicines she could buy because they were too good for certain ailments. Patients came first regardless of her personal fears.

  Yet she’d managed to avoid making this journey on her own since she’d been attacked. Ruth tried not to think about that horrible afternoon so long ago, then realized there was no point in continuing to hide from the past. It had happened, it had been ugly and she’d survived. In many ways, she’d been lucky. The men had bruised her and terrified her, but they hadn’t physically hurt her. Only her spirit had been battered.

  Even as the beauty of the land around her eased her soul, she tensed slightly as she remembered the horror of those men surrounding her and grabbing at her. They’d torn her dress, touched her, then tripped her so she’d fallen in the cold mud. Suddenly an avenging angel had appeared. Caleb had fought them off and rescued her.

  She recalled him gently covering her with his coat and pulling her to her feet. He’d wrapped an arm around her to support her as he’d helped her to his wagon. Looking back, she supposed she should have been frightened of him as well, but she hadn’t been. She’d taken one look into his eyes and had known she would be safe with him.

  Safe. Comforted. Loved. She sighed with contentment as she reveled in the warmth filling her. She felt adored by both Caleb and Zeke. In a very short time, barely a month, the ranch had become her home. She knew now that her claims to have to stay unmarried to honor her gift had been what both John and Caleb had claimed—an excuse to hide. Now she was finished with excuses and turning her back on what was important. As soon as she faced the demons from her past and got through her trip to town unscathed, she would confess her feelings to Caleb. Last time he’d been the one to come to her with his heart in his hands. Now it was her turn.

  When Whitehorn was in view, she sat straighter and squared her shoulders. She would go to the general store, pick up her supplies and leave. Simple enough. Being afraid might make it difficult for her to breathe, but she would not give in to the fear. Not again. It had already cost her nine years of being with Caleb. They had much to make up for.

  It was midweek and there was the usual crowd of shoppers walking along the wood plank sidewalks. A woman in a large pink bonnet decorated with unattractively large feathers called out a greeting.

  Ruth waved in response, recognizing the mother of a teenage girl with terrible skin. Ruth had given the girl a special cream that had helped with her blemishes. Several other people spoke with Ruth, including the father of a young boy who had broken his arm the previous week. Ruth had set the bone and wrapped it tightly to heal.

  “He hardly complains about the pain,” the father, Harry Talbert, was saying as she drew her horse to a stop in front of the general store. “Runs around like it doesn’t bother him at all. You said it would be about six weeks for the bone to knit back. Is that right?”

  “Yes, Mr. Talbert.” He was a tall man with bright-red hair and an easy smile. “Make sure the wrapping stays tight so the bone can’t move.”

  “My wife checks it several times a day, but keeping young Peter quiet is nearly impossible. No doubt we’ll need your services again.”

  He tied her horse to the hitching post, then held out his hand to help her down. Ruth hesitated, a little surprised by his politeness. It wasn’t that Mr. Talbert had ever been rude, it was just that she wasn’t used to being treated like everyone else.

  Perhaps she’d never given people the opportunity.

  She had no idea where the thought had come from but once it arrived, she couldn’t dismiss it. Not completely. Her disastrous trip into town nearly nine years before had been her first and only trip into Whitehorn by herself. Otherwise she’d always come with several other Cheyenne. She’d avoided the residents and ranchers, barely speaking, even when former patients stopped to chat. She’d expected to be slighted, so had seen disrespect in every glance, each tilt of the head or awkward word.

  But what if they’d only been saying hello? What if they’d felt awkward too—grateful for her services and not sure how to thank her? Perhaps she had been the one to be rude, not them. Perhaps the slights had all been on her side.

  The idea was so extraordinary, she wasn’t completely able to believe it. Yet it rang with a truth that left her giddy. She tested her theory when Mr. Talbert returned to his barbershop. Instead of ducking her head, she nodded at people she knew. Amazingly, they all smiled at her. Most stopped to speak. The conversations were so friendly and long that it took her nearly an hour to walk the few feet to the front of the store.

  Ruth entered the Mercantile with a lightness of heart she hadn’t felt for a very long time. Perhaps everything was going to work out after all.

  * * *

  IT WAS NEARLY three by the time Ruth headed for her wagon. Her arms were full of packages and her face ached pleasantly from smiling so much. Several women she knew had been talking in the general store and they’d insisted Ruth join them for a meal at the restaurant across the street. There they’d all laughed and talked about their husbands and children, teasing Ruth about Caleb. When Ruth had blushed, their looks had turned knowing and they’d asked about any special announcements.

  Now, as she moved toward her horse, Ruth found herself smiling again. There was going to be an announcement—of that she was sure. She didn’t know what Caleb would say when she told him, and she wasn’t going to say anything until they’d had a chance to talk about their future, but come winter there would be another Kincaid in the world.

  She’d only missed her monthly once, but the other signs were very clear. A baby, she thought happily. Having Caleb’s child felt so very right. She had no concerns that loving him and having his baby would affect her healing gift. If anything, she felt more connected with her Cheyenne ancestors than before. She had stepped into the circle of birth, life and death with a contribution of her own.

  “Get out of my way.”

  The loud voice startled Ruth. She jerked to a stop and stared at the tall, bearded man stopped in front of her. His thick coat hung open, exposing dirty clothes and a lean, strong body. Hatred spilled out of his small eyes.

  “You heard me,” he grumbled, and shoved her roughly to the side. “Damn Indian bitch.”

  Ruth was so stunned by his violent hatred that she couldn’t do anything but stare at him. He shoved her again. This time she had trouble staying standing and several of her packages went flying. The man deliberately stepped on a small glass bottle containing laudanum, crushing it beneath his boot.

  “What gives you the right?” he growled. “Showing your face, same as white women. Only you’re not like them, are you? Not good enough. Not good for anything.”

  He advanced on her and grabbed the front of her dress. Somewhere in the scuffle, she’d lost her cloak.

  “’cept maybe one thing.”

  He shook her like a dog, then pushed her between two buildings. Even before his hand reached for the buttons on the front of his trousers, she knew what he was going to do.

  She told herself to fight, to scream, to run, but she couldn’t move. The world had tilted until everything had slowed and it was impossible for her to breathe. There would be no rescue this day. Caleb was out with the cattle and she hadn’t even told him she was planning to come to town.

  The man’s lips continued to move, but she didn’t hear him. She didn’t hear anything until a rifle shot cut through the deathly silence.

  “Take your hands off her or I’ll shoot you where you stand.”

  Ruth found the strength to turn and saw Ronald Jefferson pointing a rifle at her attacker. Several more men joined him. Two of the largest ones grabbed the man and threw him to the grou
nd. Harry Talbert stepped on the back of his neck.

  “I don’t know who you are, but you’re about to learn that no one attacks one of our women. This here is Whitehorn, mister, and we take care of our own.”

  Ruth started to shake. The women who had invited her to lunch were suddenly at her side. They wrapped their arms around her and drew her to safety. When she started to cry, they held her and promised her vengeance.

  * * *

  “I’LL BE FINE,” Ruth told the painfully young deputy who had escorted her back to the ranch. It was nearly dark and she knew she had to get dinner started right away.

  “Are you sure, ma’am?” he asked, starting to dismount from his horse. “I could stay with you until Mr. Kincaid returns for the day.”

  “There are more than enough protectors on the ranch. Besides, I doubt that man will be bothering anyone for a while.”

  The deputy grinned. “Yes, ma’am!”

  Ruth collected her packages from her wagon. She still felt shaken, but no longer afraid. The people in town had come to her rescue. The big bear of a man who had attacked her had been thrown in jail, but not before several of the men had taken a few hits, leaving him battered and repentant. Her packages had been collected, the broken ones replaced and there had been several offers to escort her home. Eventually the sheriff had sent a deputy, who now lingered despite backward glances toward them.

  “Go!” she said, smiling for the first time since the attack. “If you hurry, you’ll still be able to get a meal at the restaurant.”

  “Yes, ma’am.” The deputy touched his hat and turned his horse back in the direction they’d come.

  Ruth watched him go, then walked toward the house. While her lovely day had taken a turn for the worse, she’d managed to survive the experience. The assistance of the townspeople made her feel less frightened about what could happen. The worst had occurred and she’d survived.

  “Ruth?”

  She glanced up and saw a young woman hovering by the rear door of the house. “Nalla?” she asked, peering through the growing darkness.

  The fourteen-year-old Cheyenne teenager ran toward her. “You must come,” she said quickly. “My aunt has been delivering her baby these past two days. Her strength is gone and we fear for both her life and the unborn child. Please, you must come now.”

  Ruth didn’t stop to think. Instead she simply dropped her packages where she stood, ran into the house and grabbed her bag. “Come on,” she yelled at Nalla as she raced toward her wagon.

  Tully stepped out of the barn. “M-Miss Ruth. You h-have a visitor.”

  “I know. Tell Caleb I had to go back to the Indian village,” she called as she urged her horse north. “They need me. I’ll be back as soon as I can.”

  Next to her, Nalla began to cry. “You must save her,” the girl said. “I was waiting so long for you. I feared you would never come. My mother and father are gone and she is all the family I have left. Please, Ruth.”

  “We are all your family,” Ruth said, sparing the teenager a quick smile. “I will do my best.”

  But was her best good enough? If only she hadn’t gone into town. She would have been at the house when Nalla arrived. Two days in labor. Nalla’s aunt already had three children. She would have known what to do when her time came, so there must be something very wrong. Ruth urged the horses to go faster and sent out a prayer that she could save both mother and child.

  * * *

  THE HOUSE WAS DARK when Caleb and Zeke stepped out of the barn. Tully had given them Ruth’s message, so Caleb wasn’t worried, even when he nearly tripped over the packages Ruth had dropped. He and Zeke picked them up and carried them inside, where they heated a stew she’d made the previous day.

  “You think she’ll be back in time to listen to me read tonight?” Zeke asked hopefully.

  “I doubt it, son. Delivering babies can be a slow business.”

  Tully had told him about the pretty young Indian woman who had waited for Ruth most of the day. Caleb wondered briefly where she’d gone. Had there been another emergency? Had she—

  The sound of a wagon made him frown. She couldn’t be back already. But when he stepped outside, he found Ronald Jefferson stepping out of his rickety wagon.

  The younger man nodded respectfully. “Evening, Caleb. I came by to check on Ruth. Is she all right?”

  A dark, ugly cold filled Caleb’s chest and sank into his belly. “Ruth isn’t here. She had to go to the Indian village to help one of the women. Why did you want to make sure she was all right?”

  Ronald shifted uncomfortably. “I’m sorry, Caleb. I thought you would already know.” He cleared his throat. “She was in town today. When she was ready to leave, a man attacked her.” He held up his hands. “Don’t worry. He didn’t do anything. Just scared her a little. I saw him grab her and found them standing in the alley. The other men in town helped me capture the man. He’s in jail, although a little worse for wear. The sheriff sent a deputy to escort Ruth home.”

  Ronald shrugged. “I told Mary what happened and she wanted me to come see that Ruth was fine. After what she did for us, we’re beholden to her.”

  “I see.”

  Caleb wasn’t sure how he’d spoken the words. He felt as if he’d fallen into an icy lake and couldn’t move or breathe. Nothing was as it should have been. Nothing was right. He’d lost everything.

  Sharp pain cut through him, slicing his heart into tiny pieces then setting them on fire. His hopes and dreams—the ones he’d barely allowed himself to acknowledge—turned to dust and disappeared on the wind.

  She was gone. A medical emergency had called her back to the tribe, but this time she wouldn’t return. Her worst fears had been realized. She wasn’t safe in his world.

  Caleb closed his hands into fists. “I’ll kill him,” he growled.

  “You’d have to stand in line,” Ronald told him. “Ruth has helped most of the folks around here. To tell you the truth, we damn near killed that man already. The sheriff is going to send him to see the traveling judge when he arrives. Then he’ll serve his time elsewhere. We don’t want a man like that around our womenfolk.”

  “Thanks for coming by,” Caleb forced himself to say. He didn’t bother to explain that it was unlikely Ruth would be worried about the man. After what had happened today, she would never go to town again. Instead she would return to the Cheyenne to live her life in safety.

  Ronald waved, then left. Caleb continued to stand in the yard, trying to tell himself that it wasn’t as bad as he thought. That maybe Ruth would come back to him. But he knew the truth, just as he knew he couldn’t survive without her. He’d loved her back then and he still loved her. He didn’t want anyone else and if he couldn’t have her, he would rather live alone.

  He turned back to the house, then stopped. Nine years ago he’d allowed her to make the decision. She’d refused him and had returned to her people. He’d let her go without trying to stop her. Was he going to do that again? Or was he willing to fight for what he needed?

  “Tully,” he yelled, walking toward the barn.

  “Yes, s-sir?”

  “I’m heading out. Stay with Zeke until I get back. There’s stew heating on the stove. Feed him and eat some yourself.”

  Tully nodded and jogged toward the house. Caleb saddled a fresh horse and headed out into the night. However long it took, whatever he had to do, this time he wasn’t going to let her go.

  * * *

  IT WAS NEARLY DAWN when the soft cries of a newborn baby filled the warm house. Ruth placed the small female infant on her mother’s stomach. Nalla’s aunt tried to speak, but Ruth pressed her fingers against her dry lips.

  “Don’t,” she whispered. “You are granted a healthy child. You must rest to regain your own strength. After you’ve nursed her, I’ll prepare an herbal tea to ease you into sleep for an hour or two.”

  The weak, weary woman nodded gratefully, then pulled her daughter close and smiled. Nalla brushed aside her tears
as she stepped close to the bed.

  “She’s beautiful, like you,” the teenager told her aunt.

  Ruth rubbed the small of her back, trying to ease the ache there. She’d almost lost them both, but somehow a miracle had occurred. It was as if she’d been given new knowledge.

  “Was that your doing?” she asked quietly, placing her hand on her belly. Had the spirits gifted her in more ways than one?

  Seeing that all was well with the happy family, Ruth stepped into the predawn grayness. She shivered slightly, but didn’t bother to go back for her cloak. She would sleep for the morning, she thought wearily, then pack a few things and—

  “Ruth?”

  She turned toward the sound of a familiar, beloved voice. “Caleb!”

  He appeared out of the darkness. She could see the lines of weariness and pain around his eyes. Something was very wrong. “What is it?” she demanded. “Is Zeke—”

  “He’s fine. We’re all fine.” Cautiously, he touched her arm. “Except you.”

  He slipped out of his coat and wrapped it around her shoulders. She hugged the warm sheepskin to her while she mulled over his words. Then she understood.

  “You found out.”

  “Ronald Jefferson came by to make sure you were all right.”

  She sighed. “Caleb, I’m fine. I’ll admit I was terrified at the time and I don’t want that to ever happen again, but you didn’t have to come here to check on me.”

  “Yes, I did.” He squeezed her upper arms. “Ruth. Don’t do this. You mean everything to me. Please don’t run away again. Don’t turn your back on the life we could have.”

  She leaned forward and pressed her forehead against his chest. “Is that what you think? That I’ll stay here and never come back to the ranch?”

  “Won’t you?”

  She inhaled the familiar scent of the man she loved with all her heart, then thought of her life here, where she’d grown up. Then she straightened and looked Caleb in the eye.