A Hope for Hannah (Hannah's Heart 2)

by Jerry S. Eicher

  “I suppose it is…and then it is a burden we must bear.” Jake sighed. “Whatever His will is, it will be what’s best for us.”

  When they finished their soup, Hannah got up to do the dishes, and she felt a wave of exhaustion sweep over her. She managed the chore and then went to the living room where she found Jake reading his Bible.

  “I’m going to bed,” she said.

  “I’ll be along,” he said. But she was fast asleep long before he closed his Bible and joined her.

  When she awoke in the middle of the night, after tossing and turning with a bad dream, he was there next to her. Seeing him there was a comfort.

  She had dreamed she was back home again. The house was so familiar and comforting—so strong and protecting. Each day went by normally—and yet not quite. A hidden danger seemed to follow her every move. When she hung out the wash or did the dishes, the dark cloud hovered over her. In both thunderstorms and sunshine, she felt its presence. She tried to tell her mom, but the words wouldn’t come out of her mouth. She tried once to meet her father at the door when he came home from work, but no matter how fast she walked or how hard she strained, she couldn’t get there in time. Even on Sunday, when she sat among all the usual people from her growing up years, she tried to scream that danger was coming, but no one could hear her.

  The awfulness of it had jarred her awake. Her face was sweaty, and her arms were cold. Her only solace was that it had been a dream. It had seemed so real. Jake’s even breathing was like a tonic to her. She lay back on her pillow and listened for a while.

  Then the realization hit her. I have to write to Mom, she thought. I should have done it yesterday. But there was no time yesterday even if I’d thought to do it. Certain she wouldn’t be able to sleep, she got out of bed, careful not to awaken Jake.

  Wrapped in a blanket, she went into the living room. The snow was falling against the window. She lit the kerosene lamp, pulled the drawer open, got the paper tablet, and started writing.

  Dear Mom,

  It now seems like many years since you and Dad were here. I would so love to hear your voice again and see Dad sitting on the living room couch. If not here, then in Indiana, but it seems like it will not be. Jake thinks we are to stay in Montana, and I do have to agree with him.

  We seem to be having nothing but troubles. I don’t understand why this should be, but I know what you would say. Trouble makes us grow up. Well…I feel like I am about as grown-up as I can stand. Things are happening so fast.

  That my Jake—my good Jake—now has to stand up and preach in front of church, who would ever have imagined such a thing? I must say he did a good job the other Sunday. I wish you had been here. He was so good that it scared me.

  Some here worry about him going liberal. I guess that happens. But I don’t think it can happen to Jake. What do you think? Oh, Mom, you can’t imagine the kind of thoughts that go through my head. There seem to be new ones everyday now.

  Then the worse thing happened. I am now sick with an infection. Betty told me about a good doctor in Libby—Dr. Lisa. I went there yesterday for my first baby checkup. She found the infection. I thought it was just a normal cold, like the one I caught soon after you left.

  It’s not, though. I have parasites that could infect the baby too. They won’t hurt me, but they might hurt the baby. Dr. Lisa is hopeful the baby will be fine. She has tests she can do later to see if the baby has been infected. But if it has been infected, there’s not much she can do. And there are some conditions the baby might develop—not good ones.

  I completely broke down in the buggy and cried with Betty and then here at home again. I suppose Jake wonders what to do with his wife sometimes, but he’s bearing up. Did you ever have this much trouble?

  One good thing, though, is Jake really likes his job. I think there will even be extra money for the doctor bills and all. I hope so. At least that’s the one bright spot in our lives.

  I invited Mr. Brunson for supper last Friday night. Seems he heard Jake is a preacher and shared his sad story with us. I can’t tell you everything, but it might not be done yet. He seems to think his son may contact him. He was involved in an accident that killed his wife and daughter. That is why he lives out here all by himself. Now I know why he appears so sad at times.

  Jake says God will surely take care of us through all this, but I’m ashamed to say I wonder sometimes. I suppose Jake does too, but he never shows it.

  It’s snowing outside, and I can’t sleep. I had a terrible nightmare.

  Well, kiss Indiana for me. I could cry about that too, but I’ll have to be a big girl now. Isn’t that what you would say?

  With love,

  Hannah

  Hannah folded the paper carefully and watched the light from the kerosene lamp dance on the log cabin ceiling. What if her child was born perfect and wonderful only to be doomed to life as a cripple? She pushed the thought away.

  Back in the bedroom, she carefully slipped under the covers without waking Jake and quickly fell asleep.

  Twenty-nine

  Jake came home the next evening with the news. His call from the hardware store to Dr. Lisa’s office confirmed the diagnosis—Hannah had the toxoplasmosis infection. As if Betty knew Hannah would need her support, her buggy rattled into the driveway the next morning.

  Hannah thought she might throw on a coat and meet Betty outdoors, but the chilly morning persuaded her otherwise. By the time she bundled up, Betty would already be at the door. So instead she just opened the door and waited for Betty.

  Betty, not yet to the porch, called out, “You shouldn’t stand there with the door open. It’s too cold this morning.”

  “I’m glad to see you,” Hannah said, making no effort to move away.

  “Has there been news?” Betty asked, giving Hannah a quick sideways hug. “Let’s get you inside where it’s warm.”

  “Jake talked with the doctor yesterday. It’s confirmed.”

  “Oh, my.” Betty sounded dismayed as she sat on the couch. “Well, I guess we already knew. Have you let your mom know?”

  “I wrote to her yesterday. I couldn’t sleep, and so I got up during the night.”

  Betty shrugged. “Can’t say I blame you. I’ve never written letters at night, but I’ve walked the floors aplenty.”

  “Mr. Brunson has his court case this week,” Hannah volunteered. She felt like talking about someone else’s troubles.

  “That bear thing!” Betty exclaimed.

  Hannah nodded and wondered if she ought to tell Betty of Mr. Brunson’s family troubles but decided that wouldn’t be appropriate.

  “The game warden did come out and took care of the cat,” Betty said. Chuckling, she went on to say, “They tracked it down right away and removed it from the area.”

  “Maybe they don’t want another bear situation,” Hannah ventured.

  “I’m sure you’re right. You have any coffee?” Betty started to get up from the couch, saying, “I can make some if not.”

  “No, let me get it,” Hannah said, glad for the distraction, knowing it helped keep back the tears. “The water is already hot.”

  “You think there’s any hope of the child not being…you know…infected?”

  “We don’t know any more than we did before,” Hannah said.

  “I think the Lord will take care of you,” Betty said as Hannah left for the kitchen.

  She returned with Betty’s steaming cup of coffee and asked, “Why do you think so?”

  “Oh, Jake—” Betty said, “preaching like he does.”

  Is this what Bishop Nisley is concerned about, Hannah wondered, people who make special things out of men because they can preach well?

  “You only heard him once,” Hannah said.

  “I know. It’s about his turn again,” Betty said. “Bishop might even let him have the main part before too long.”

  “I don’t know,” Hannah said, not wanting to consider it.

  “God is so kind to th
is church,” Betty said, sipping her coffee. “Giving us a real interesting preacher, who would have thought of it? Jake Byler—I never did. He can sing, of course, but that doesn’t always carry over to speaking. So young too.”

  “Well, the other ministers are good too,” Hannah felt the need to say.

  “Of course.” Betty was quick to agree. “I was just saying that he’s another one.”

  But Hannah knew what her aunt meant. Betty thought Jake was better than the others.

  “I’ve really come to invite you for Thanksgiving.” Betty said, changing the subject. “I know we’re all the family you have around here. Me too, not counting Steve’s side. Because his family is waiting until Saturday to get together, I thought I would take my chance and invite you both to Thanksgiving dinner.”

  “Thanksgiving dinner,” Hannah stated more than asked.

  Betty nodded. “I could ask Elizabeth and John to come too.”

  “Really?” Hannah asked, feeling excitement rise in her. Then she remembered the last visit with Elizabeth and John.

  “Surely you would like that?” Betty asked.

  “Of course,” Hannah said, reminding herself that it would be okay, that Bishop Nisley had only been doing his job by warning Jake, and that Jake had received the correction well. Things were as they should be now.

  “It’s decided, then,” Betty declared, finishing the last of her coffee. “Now I really must be going. The wash is still not done—really not even started.” Betty got to her feet.

  Suddenly Hannah found herself asking, “Why don’t I come over for the day?”

  “You would?” Betty smiled broadly, and then her face dropped. “Oh my, but I’d just work you like a hired hand if you came now. There’s so much work to be done.”

  “All the more reason to come,” Hannah declared. “I’ll put some things away, and then I’ll be ready to go.”

  “Oh, this is so good,” Betty gushed. “I’m really glad I came now. I didn’t think I could spare the time. Now I’m actually going to gain time!”

  “Jake would say you’re right. Helping others adds to ourselves,” Hannah said, realizing he had never actually said it, but it sure sounded like something he would say.

  “What a good preacher,” Betty proclaimed.

  Hannah reminded herself not to compliment Jake again, around Betty at least. Bishop Nisley apparently did have a point.

  Seated beside Betty in the buggy as it rattled down the driveway, Hannah took deep breaths of the crisp air.

  “Better than Indiana air,” Betty said, spoiling the moment.

  “I suppose so,” Hannah acknowledged grudgingly. “At least Jake still has work.”

  “The Lord is looking out for you—both of you,” Betty said firmly. “He really is. The baby too.”

  Hannah was about to say, That’s what Jake would say, but caught herself. “Yes, it’s in the Lord’s hands,” she said instead, sounding all grown up. Perhaps she had also changed right along with Jake in this land of mountains and rivers.

  “Yes, it is indeed,” Betty said from beside her.

  As they turned right on the main road, the view of the mountains rose on both sides. The early morning fog had lifted to nearly the tops of the peaks, adding a shine of white to the wooded slopes. Sunlight poured out of the fog in sheets of blinding light.

  “It’s angel country,” Hannah said, not able to help herself.

  “But cold right now,” Betty replied without taking her eyes off the road. “More to come too.”

  “It will be a hard winter, won’t it?” Hannah asked.

  “No doubt,” Betty said. “Steve thinks so.”

  “Well, you two should know. You’ve lived here long enough.” Hannah shifted on her seat, picturing how this road might look come January with snowbanks on either side. “Will you still be able to get around?”

  “Main roads, yes,” Betty assured her. “It’s not that bad.”

  Minutes later they pulled into Betty’s familiar driveway. Hannah helped unhitch and then waited while Betty took the horse into the barn.

  “I’ll leave the harness on,” Betty shouted over her shoulder.

  “Don’t,” Hannah said quickly, knowing to do so meant Betty would keep the visit short. “I’ll put the harness back on when I leave.”

  “The horses are used to it. They stand all day in their harnesses at church,” Betty said and opened the barn door. “You can’t stay too late anyway.”

  “No, I guess not,” Hannah agreed. She needed to be home in time to prepare supper for Jake.

  “Are you still eating that deer meat?” Betty asked when she came back out.

  “Jake is,” Hannah said. “I just can’t.”

  “I don’t blame you,” Betty replied. “If you can’t eat all of it, we’ll take it. That is, before you throw it away. I cook mine good and thorough. Never heard of such a thing as a parasite from deer meet.”

  “Jake still wants it for now,” Hannah said. “He comes home pretty hungry. He works hard in the furniture shop.”

  “We need to see what Jake’s doing sometime,” Betty said as they walked toward the house. “It’s probably as well done as his preaching,”

  “Probably,” Hannah agreed because she knew it was true. She couldn’t feel bad toward Jake. He hadn’t chosen to have that piece of paper put in his book. Yet he sure seemed to accept his new position—as if he kind of liked it.

  “Now my work—” Betty drew in a deep breath. “My, my, here I am with the house all in a mess and so much to do.”

  “That’s what I came for.”

  “Yes, I know. It just feels so…Well, wrong. Like I’m using you.”

  “I didn’t have much to do anyway. Just the cabin to take care of,” Hannah assured Betty. “I need the company anyway.”

  “I imagine so.” Betty said. “Now, let’s see. If I start the wash, maybe you can do the kitchen?”

  “That would be fine,” Hannah matched her words with actions and turned to the kitchen sink. A twist of the knob brought warm water and a feeling of surprise. She forgot how it was to have warm water without heating it on the stove. I’m quickly becoming a savage and losing the advantage of a civilized lifestyle, she told herself, something I’ve known all my life.

  “Warm water,” she said, just blurting out her surprise.

  “I guess you don’t have that,” Betty said. “When’s Jake going to install a water heater?”

  “We seldom talk about it,” Hannah said. “It costs money.”

  “That it does. Maybe with the furniture making you can soon afford it.”

  “It’s not a big deal,” Hannah said, shrugging. “I think Jake said the plumbing would have to be changed too if hot water was installed. The owners who built the place liked things rough, I guess.”

  “Well, I’ll be doing the laundry,” Betty said and disappeared toward the bedrooms.

  Moments later the gas motor, which powered the washing machine, started up in Betty’s laundry room. Hannah finished the dishes and then followed Betty outside to help her hang up the first basket of wash.

  “You don’t have to help here,” Betty told Hannah when she saw her approach.

  “Your hands are cold already,” Hannah replied and blew on her own.

  “Yes, they are,” Betty agreed, pushing the wooden snaps onto the line to hold the first piece of clothing in place. Her hands were red from the brisk air and the cold basket.

  “I hope this wash doesn’t freeze,” Hannah said.

  “I don’t think it will,” Betty said, her teeth chattering. “My, it’s cold, though. I don’t know why it bothers me—guess I’m getting older. The sun will hit the line soon.”

  They continued the routine until all the wash was on the line. With Hannah’s help, it went up quickly. After lunch, the sun did its job. Hannah helped bring in the baskets of clothes at about three o’clock, and then Betty insisted she drive her home.

  “You have things to do at home before Jake
returns, I’m sure.”

  Hannah agreed and went to get the horse.

  The drive home was pleasant enough, though Hannah could tell it would turn cold again that night. Mr. Brunson’s pickup rattled past as Betty dropped her off in front of the cabin. She wondered how he was doing and whether his son would make contact anytime soon.

  “Thanks so much,” Betty said without getting out of the buggy. “I have to be getting back.”

  “Thanks for picking me up,” Hannah said. “I needed the company today.”

  “We all do from time to time,” Betty said. She then slid the buggy door shut and drove off.

  Hannah watched her leave before entering the cabin. The fire had gone out in the stove, and she had to restart it. As it flamed up, she reached for its warmth, glad to be home again.

  Thirty

  When Jake came home from work, Hannah met him at the door with a smile and a kiss.

  “You seem to be in a pretty good mood,” Jake said.

  “I spent the day at Betty’s,” she said. “I needed it.”

  “We’re blessed to have family close by,” he said. “I have good news too.”

  “Oh?” More good news after the day at Betty’s would be like icing on the cake.

  “Mr. Howard sold our first table and set of chairs—a full set! Brought in a pretty good price, and the customer loved it. It’s to be shipped back East.”

  “Who was it?” Hannah asked.

  “I don’t know. A man purchased it for his wife’s dining room.”

  “It’ll help with the doctor bills,” Hannah said. “I’m glad, though, it’s working out. I guess God knows we need some good news.”